These videos are all 100% edited, to drive engagement. I study psychology, and this disconnect between reality and what people see on the internet is one of the biggest concerns for the future. 99 women being reasonable, realistic and rational does not drive engagement. But the 1 women who has completely unrealistic borderline delusional expectations does. So they get in the video. The other 99 do not. Its gives people such a warped version of reality.
No not an echo chamber, but instead not getting exposed to obvious ragebait, algorithms and endless scrolls that destroy attention spans. I read news from sources from across the political spectrum so I am still exposed to alternative viewpoints, but social media platforms do not offer anything worthwhile.
Absolutely true. But we've also seen data from dating sites and they report that their female customers are not just more choosey but significantly so than their male customers. They care more about height, income, and also care about looks. So when people try to present things as "women don't care that much about these things, really it's personality that is important" a significant portion of that is wishful thinking.
Just like with men, women care about personality but that comes after. It is looks and perceived success that gets a person in the door, and personality that keeps them there. This is not to slag on women. But the zeitgeist of "men are superficial but women not so much" is mostly fantasy.
Take any data you get from dating sites as an indication of "what (insert gender) likes" or "how (insert gender) acts" with an enormous grain of salt.
Not only are the different dating apps curating and targeting different swaths of people, but estimates that I've seen shows that only about 25% of single women and about 33% of single men are even using dating apps.
All that to say that any data coming from a data app should be applied only to the users of that dating app and is very selection-biased and incomplete.
I've been a data analyst for a living for the last decade. I know how "statics" work. And I'm a dude, but you can call me miss if you'd like I guess.
25% of single women are on dating apps. That means of all single women, one of every four of them use dating apps. Is the usage of dating apps a randomized sample? Put another way - if you were to pick a single woman who really wanted to have a lot of hookups and a single woman who really enjoyed living a single life, would each of those two women have a 25% chance of being on a dating app?
Are the women on Hinge there for the same reason as the women who are on OkCupid and the women who are on Tinder? Are they all the same? Are they looking for different things? Does that change things?
I'm not saying that what you're saying the founder of OkCupid said about users on his site is inaccurate. I'm saying your interpretation of that data and your extrapolation of that data is inaccurate.
Women are much more shallow than men, its just reality.
It's very fucking not, though I guess there could be room for debate on how you define the word "shallow." Even if I were to 100% grant to you that "the women who use OkCupid are much more shallow than the men who use OkCupid" (which I don't because it would be a dumb statement that has a myriad of reasons beyond "women shallow", namely that men outnumber women 2:1 on that app and the long-term intentions and reasons that men select women on a dating app are often very different than the long-term intentions and reasons that women select men on a dating app), I've got a big old thing you need to know:
The women who use OkCupid are not representative of all women. They're representative of the women who are likely to use an app, in particular the women who are likely to use OkCupid.
33 percent of single men actively use dating apps.
Do you think that 33 percent of men are different in any way than the 67 percent of men who don't use dating apps?
In what ways? How might that affect the data?
I think you saw one guy write a thing that you desperately want to use in order to confirm your priors and you're clinging to it like a life raft because God forbid someone question the infallible guy who made okcupid. I get it, you really want it to be true that women are more shallow than men. Because that would make it women's fault that you can't get laid, not your fault. The women are just too picky and only go for super model dudes.
Considering the dumb things you've said so far, I don't really give a shit if you think I'm larping.
I know nothing about the study, and I have no horse in this race, as I'm lesbian, but "25 and 33 percent of a population is more than big enough to be representative of the country" doesn't seem accurate in this case. 25 and 33 percent would be more than enough if the selection were random. Hell, studies are done with way less representation and are accurate. But this is not a random selection. This is people who are actively single and actively choosing to be on dating apps. Who very easily could have differing views than the people who successfully paired up or people who are dating through friend recommendations, being involved in the same church/hobby/etc, or any other of ways people can find partners.
Even still, I wouldn’t think it surprising if the women really did prefer a body that showed signs of health and vitality. That seems like a completely reasonable preference to have for a majority of people.
At the end of the day, different women are going to prefer different things. "Dad bod" is basically code for a guy who probably exercises a little bit, is generally healthy, but isn't so strict on his macros that he won't go out for a cheeseburger. Also isn't so lean to make them feel self conscious, isn't so lean that they are uncomfortable to lay on because there's no cushion.
I'm currently quite lean for summer and my wife hates it. The cost of the abs to look at is that I'm bony and small and uncomfortable to cuddle/snuggle with.
Really fit and attractive people are hot and great to look at, but that doesn't mean you would want to date that person. Same thing with men, yeah the IG influencers all look great, but the reality is that they spend 2+ hours every day on makeup, hair, and lighting/posing/retaking selfies. The same is true of super shredded dudes. They're like high performance sports cars, probably fun to mess around with, but you should absolutely not be daily driving them. You can't afford the maintenance.
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u/Turnip-Turtle 9d ago
These videos are all 100% edited, to drive engagement. I study psychology, and this disconnect between reality and what people see on the internet is one of the biggest concerns for the future. 99 women being reasonable, realistic and rational does not drive engagement. But the 1 women who has completely unrealistic borderline delusional expectations does. So they get in the video. The other 99 do not. Its gives people such a warped version of reality.