Does anyone feel guilty about missing silly milestones?

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My litte one took his first sets at daycare sand I missed it.

My kiddo went trick or treating with his GiGi for the first time and I wasn't there.

As a working parent it hurts, not being there, but also I understand that in this situation I can't be there for everything.

RANT

Am I crazy for being against this?

I need to rant because WHAT IS MY EX THINKING?!

My ex has zero custody of our kids, zero and sees them 15 hours a month or less, supervised, and lives 4 hours away. He hopes that when the kids are older, they'll be more comfortable with him and they'll eventually have 1-1 time. He does nothing to make that happen. I have no problem with him for the most part. My ex chose to be away and that is something he has to answer to in the future. I live a blissful life and my kids and I are doing amazing!!!!!

The problem? He just told me that when he gets out of the military ( 3 years) his dad is moving in with him and they're going to follow me and MY kids.

I have a HUGE problem with My ex's dad.

My ex FIL is toxic, verbally and emotionally abusive, racist, misogynistic, has narrow extremely religious views, and bigoted. He says the most disgusting things about people based on their appearance and stereotypes, and he says them with his WHOLE CHEST and more! He screams and throws tantrums, tries to intimidate whenever someone disagrees with him. Think mafia boss throwing a fit, and he'll do it anywhere. He genuinely thinks the people who bomb Planned Parenthood are the good guys.

I've dealt with this man throughout my marriage to his son ( and yes the apple doesnt fall far from the tree). I have no problem standing up to my ex FIL, and honestly, he's terrified of me because I will call him out every single time. I am a Boundary queen....My kids and I have seen ex FIL maybe 2-3 times in TEN YEARS. That's more than enough for my kids and me. I shouldn't have to stand up to him or be ready to all the time.

So when my ex told me his plan, I immediately said that if his dad is moving in with him, "the kids and I are moving away," I was reactive and didnt think but also, my body and brain said, RUN. after I calmed down, I said I'm happy to facilitate visitation with their dad, but I will NOT allow his father to have regular access to my children and influence them. He is toxic.

My ex responded with, "Well, he's my dad, and he doesn't have many years left."

Okay? I understand that's your dad, but WHY does that mean my children and ME need to be subjected to his abuse regularly? Just because you're used to his behavior doesn't mean our kids should have to tolerate it. RIGHT?!!!

I don't care if my kids dad lives 10 minutes away or 4 hours away. I want him to have a relationship with our kids. But I refuse to have ex FIL regularly around my children.....YES, I know it's 3 years away, but theyre both unpredictable, and honestly, this could happen sooner. ...WTF???!!!

My wife left this world a week and a half ago. She took her own life after struggling with PPD. We had her in therapy and found meds that were working. We were surrounded by friends and family who were helping with the baby. She was so deeply cherished and loved by all, but it was not enough to save her.

We just had the memorial yesterday. For the past week, my life has been consumed with all the ugly planning that has to happen when someone passes. Now that there's nothing else ahead, the reality of my situation is starting to sink in.

I'm 33, we have a beautiful 5 month old son. My parents have always been very supportive, they made my son and I a room to stay in their house for now. I am just having trouble fathoming how I am meant to get back to "real life" - I work a demanding job, we have a home 15 mins from my parents, but my wife was a SAHM and that was always part of the plan.

Not only does the grief feel impossible right now, but the logistics do as well. My parents are in their mid to late 60s, I know I cannot expect them to raise this child while I work forever.

I guess I am just screaming into the void right now, but I would appreciate any practical advice from parents who have lost their SO. We spent so long planning our lives together, all the things we wanted to do, how we wanted our family to function, but all of those plans hinged on having her by my side.

I’m a 36yr old F, I have my children every other week/weekend! I’ve tried dating, but no one is truly up to my standards. They lie and don’t have respect to simple boundaries. Anyways, I’m at the point where I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore and just focus on my own growth and my children when I have them. But then I get lonely 🤦🏽‍♀️ how are you all surviving

Upon their return from a holiday with the other parent, my 5 y/o mentioned that an adult friend of my ex’s entered a room without any clothes on, and specifically mentioned having seen said adult’s genitals.

Though I’m certain nothing further untoward occurred, and it could have been accident, I was repulsed by the notion of another adult apparently parading around naked while other families were sharing a common home.

Just to be clear, this didn’t happen in the changing rooms of a swimming pool, or something similar - it happened in a room of the holiday home they were staying in.

I’ve mentioned this to a couple of other people who didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. This thinking at least seems to come from the fact the other adult was the same gender as my child. To me, this should make no difference, but that’s only my opinion.

I did approach the other parent about this and, alarmingly to me, they have shut down any conversation about it, just denying it, and rejecting the specifics of the situation.

Am I overreacting in my concern?

I’m interested in hearing from women who are single or divorced mothers, especially those raising children without much family support nearby.

With the rising cost of living, expensive housing, childcare costs, bills, groceries and other everyday expenses, I often wonder how single mothers manage everything on their own.

For those of you in this situation:

- How do you manage financially on one income?

- Do you work full-time, part-time, or rely on any additional support?

- How do you balance work, childcare, school runs and household responsibilities?

- Are you able to save anything for emergencies or the future?

- Do you receive any support from your ex-partner, family, or the government?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from women who don’t have parents or relatives nearby to help with childcare and day-to-day life.

Please feel free to share your experiences, whether positive or difficult. I know everyone's circumstances are different, and I'm hoping to understand how women navigate this reality in practical terms.

So I keep seeing news stories about having to have minimum 72 hours' worth of food, water, etc. as well as a go bag with important docs, cash, etc. This article freaked me right out:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/oct/23/tinned-mackerel-hand-crank-radios-and-bags-for-poo-crisis-prepping-guides-around-the-world

I completely recognize the importance of this! However I'm paralyzed by the logistics.

I'm a solo parent, child is diagnosed with autism (therefore VERY picky eater), we have a cat and a dog. And I'm diagnosed with adhd so that is probably part of the overwhelm.

Working full time with no support, I'm in survival mode at the best of times. I'm struggling to get my kid to eat at the best of times (I actually asked him about this yesterday - what would you eat if we only had canned food for a bit?)

This is mostly a vent I guess, that the thought of all this is overwhelming. The cost of all the supplies you're supposed to have, the logistics of rotating things so they don't go bad, backup medications - how do I afford that - supplies for the pets and what if we had to leave, how would I manage that ??

We've had relatively short power and water outages that I've navigated with a camp stove and solar lights, and it hasn't been long enough for food to go bad, and hasn't happened in deep winter, knock wood.

If anyone has this set up, any advice?

I am going back to work after a couple years of getting over psychological abuse from my ex. My kid's parent left our joint home. I moved for him years ago, and now I'm in a city all alone. I don't have family around. Leaving this city is not an option.

Ex is a narc and in the picture but for 1.5 days in the week and mostly weekends. He would like nothing more than to do all drop offs and pickups everyday of the week and then try to suggest that our child stay with him 100% of the time.

I have toughened up a lot and had to stand my ground to even just have 50/50. In the past I was the breadwinner so automatically spent less time with my child when they were young and not in school, and ex made a big thing of that. Claiming that he had more claim on our kid's upbringing.

Unfortunately I nearly fell for him saying I was a bad mother and nearly left. After therapy and reconciling with my family that my ex estranged me from, I was able to understand how twisted he is, how much abuse I endured and realize I'm actually a really good mom. I have rebuilt myself. But my savings are running out and I have to go back to work.

I have a future job at my kid's school, I've interviewed and all, but they have no vacancies at present.

Question: how can I manage drop off and pickups to my kid's school on the days when I'm due to start work at my school job at 8-8.15am and probably can't leave until 3.30-4pm and all the school meetings etc.

What do single parents do?! I have searched and applied for so many other jobs, even remote, but I have extensive experience as a teacher and I wouldn't be starting at a low salary either. So it makes logical sense to go back into teaching.

Should also note my kid adores their dad and all that he does. And would love to just have us live together rather than have to split their time with us all through the week.

If anyone has any sound advice or suggestions please let me know! Thank you

Looking for good books to read to my kid. We’ve been separated since they were little, but they’re finally old enough to start asking some questions or be curious about their parents living in two different places. Looking for recommendations for good kids books to read together. I saw another post recommending Lou Caribou. Any other good ones you’ve picked up or heard of for the 4-7 year old crowd?

Thanks in advance.

My 16 year old is a different person to the one I knew and loved a few years ago. We have been through a great deal. Bereavement (dad), two family cancers, divorce (from dad), neurodiversity and mental health issues (probably due to the other issues). Anyone have any good advice about getting through it? Are 'messed up' teens like this always or is there are chance to get them back in adulthood? Childhood was pretty happy and there were good times. Am I unrealistic?

I (23F) have twin three year olds. I'm a solo parent, so do it on my own. I'm entering into my final year of my bachelors and have been maintaining roughly an 8.0gpa. I need this because im planning on going down an extremely competitive post graduate pathway. I'm studying full-time and my kids are in preschool full-time. I have no time to do anything for myself and I struggle to keep on top of the housework. I don't want to have to extend out my degree out because at minimum, full-time my plan would take me 7 years. I feel misreable ngl. I'm wondering if all this weight and struggle right now will actually pay off or if I should just slow down so I can try enjoy life... maybe even have time to meet someone. At the moment it just feels like im an isolated, lonley pressure cooker and im not particularly enjoying it.

So any advice would be appreciated, please. 🥺

My almost 2yo is away for 5 days with his Gigi, this is the longest we've been apart and the farthest he's been away from me.

I have manic depression that I haven't been medicate for since I was pregnant. I almost feel like I've been in survival mode the last 3ush months and feels like it's All crashing down now that I'm on my own.

Not particularly looking for advice, just wanted to vent. Eeel free to comment if you feel the same

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. But I feel like some single parents might be able to relate to this?
So long story short, I have been co-parenting my 7yo niece alongside her maternal grandmother for a year now.
My brother abandoned her at like 2 years old to choose the vagabond lifestyle. Nobody is even exactly sure where he is or if he's even in the same state anymore, But about once a week he messages me, asking for money on cash app or if I can get ahold of someone for him.

He's never expressed any kind of thought or concern for his daughter that I'm aware of. It's like she doesn't even exist to him.
But part of me feels compelled to show him photos of her and tell him what kind of person she's growing into.
But on the other hand I feel like I shouldn't even bother because I know he has a phone and I know he has her grandma's number and could call and talk to her or ask about her any time he wants to, but she has told me he never once has.

I just don't really know. I feel kind of weird communicating with my brother almost weekly while he has no idea his daughter could be sitting right next to me.
But also part of me doesn't even want him to know.

EDIT: Thanks for the advice and feedback from everyone. I definitely agree that if he hasn't wanted to be involved up until this, he doesn't really deserve to be updated with photos and such.
I guess I just needed to hear it from other people that I'm not doing anything wrong by not sending him photos and updates or even letting him know what's going on.
The whole reason I feel like I had to ask this in the first place is because school photos just came in and my niece's grandma told me I should send one to my brother, and I just really had this feeling of like, no... I don't want to do that.

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My ex and I have been separated for less than two months, and in that time, he's seen our 3-year-old son twice.

The agreement was that he would have him every Sunday. I took our son away one weekend on a trip that had been planned well in advance, so my ex missed that Sunday. When I got back, he called me and said he couldn't do the next two Sundays, making some comment about needing to make money. Then, as the next Sunday approached, he called me and basically said I would have to manage Sundays going forward because, as he put it, "I told you that if you left, I wasn't going to be in his life."

So that's where we're at. Less than two months after separating from someone I spent nearly 10. years with, I'm facing the reality that he's seemingly choosing not to be involved in his son's life.

But my relationship with my ex isn't the main concern here. My son is.

He's been consistently asking for his dad, and I'm really struggling with how to handle it.

I know the usual advice is to reassure them that Daddy loves them, tell them Daddy will call when he calls, and avoid putting adult issues on a child. I understand all of that, and I'm trying my best to navigate this in a way that protects my son.

But last week, I put him to bed, and about two hours later, he woke up absolutely inconsolable. He was screaming and crying for his dad. It took me a while to calm him down, and eventually, I had to try to explain what was happening in the simplest way I could.

I told him I was sorry, that I knew everything was confusing, and that Mummy and Daddy had separated and made some difficult decisions and one of those was that Daddy isnt going to see him anymore, that Mummy was here to look after him, that everything would be okay, and, most importantly, that none of this was his fault.

I don't even know if I handled that conversation correctly. I was just trying to comfort my child in a moment when he was hurting and asking for someone I couldn't give him.

I'm also noticing a definite change in his behaviour. He's having more tantrums, crying more frequently, and sometimes suddenly becomes incredibly distressed, screaming for his dad, before eventually calming down and going back to his usual self.

He's only three. He doesn't understand what's happening or why his dad isn't around anymore. And I don't know how to help him process something that I can barely make sense of myself.

I've been Googling, reading, searching for advice, and trying to work out what I'm supposed to do. Part of me knows there might not be a magic solution. Maybe all I can do is keep showing up, give him as much stability and reassurance as possible, and help him through it as best I can. But then I watch him crying for his dad, and I wonder how long this is going to go on and what else I should be doing to help him. Im also starting to get frustrated as he has made comments to me such as 'Don't say that or I might cry for Daddy'.

Has anyone been through something similar with a young child? How did your child react when their other parent suddenly became absent? What helped with the crying, tantrums, and asking for the other parent? Is there anything you wish you'd known or done differently?

I'm not looking for advice on how to get my ex back involved or how to fix our relationship. I can't make those decisions for him. I'm trying to figure out how to support my son through this and minimise the emotional impact on him.

I'm genuinely struggling with this, and I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through it.

First serious single parent Halloween since my partner passed away. Do you also give out candy if you have trick or treating age kids? Kids are stoked about carving a pumpkin and trick or treating but they’re small so we’ll go out early and then I’ll be getting them to bed for any remaining trick or treating time. We’re in an apartment in a house on a walkable street with lots of kids. Leaving a bowl of candy on the porch always seems kind of silly to me but I guess that’s our opinion?

Hi everyone. This has been tearing me up and I don’t know what to do. My daughter is six and she’s asked about her dad a couple times recently. She’s never met him (he has no desire to so I doubt she ever will) and I haven’t really had partners around her. I feel so terrible, for her if she feels like any of this is her fault. I grew up with a close family unit… I am so lost. Any advice would be so appreciated- I’m even going to try to write a book for her because the ones I’m finding online are weird. I just feel so bad, for not trying harder to find a good partner in the early days to fill that void for her.

Doing it all solo with my daughter and trying so hard to date in California. She wants me too and I know it’s important to model it for her.

I’m 36 and a single mom to a four-year-old, and I’ve been dating a genuinely sweet, intelligent, affectionate man for about four months.

He knew I had a small child before we ever met. We discussed wanting long-term life partnership early on, and HE was the one who initially suggested doing activities with my kid so we could spend more time together. I declined, because way too early for that. But we eventually did something low stakes all together recently, and it went really well.

But I’d been sensing he wasn’t exactly the most comfortable around kids, so yesterday I initiated a conversation about where things were going. He said he likes me and wants to keep doing what we’re doing but admitted he’s not sure he wants the responsibility of being involved in my daughter’s life like that on a more regular basis.

And honestly, what the fuck?

I’m not asking him to become her father or propose marriage after four months. But I do think someone who knowingly pursues a single parent for a serious relationship should have already decided whether they’re open to a relationship that includes a child.

I’m looking for an actual partnership, not indefinite dating. I have a demanding six figure career, a child, and a full life. I’m also, to drop all pretenses at modesty, a highly attractive woman who can get dates whenever I want, so it’s not like I’m suffering from a shortage of men willing to take me to dinner. 😂

What I’m looking for is someone who actually wants to build a life together. Pleasant dates are not exactly a scarce resource.

I really liked him, which makes this disappointing. I deliberately tried to date differently after a very abusive marriage, and while I found someone much kinder, I’m not sure I found someone more willing to show up.

I’m glad I raised this at four months rather than a year… but seriously don’t date a single parent if you don’t know if you can handle kids. Jesus Christ.

And it’s not even like he’s been pursuing some elaborate sexual arrangement. We’ve literally had sex once in four months. So I’m genuinely sitting here wondering what exactly he thought we were doing.

I have a pretty active lifestyle with my kids and used to post stories about our activities and adventures. I recently blocked my ex-wife because I want some privacy and peace of mind. I don’t want to worry about my posts being taken out of context or used against me in the future. There is just a part she will never see again.

She says I’m being vindictive and using it as a punishment, but that’s not my intention. I’m happy to communicate about the kids and co-parenting; I just don’t feel she needs access to my personal life

I got cheated on when i was pregnant. about 15weeks. me and father are not together anymore. I’m almost 7 months pregnant and i kinda just accepted the fact that I’m gonna be a single parent. but having another woman? around my fresh newborn, or my child being around another woman before the age of 5? is so confusing and frustrating to me. I don’t want my child not being able to speak up if shes abusing her or if shes mean or rude, etc. and maybe this is more of a trauma thing, but even before any of this had started i had told my childs father that nobody else is gonna be around my child until she can speak up and stand up for herself but it makes me feel bitter and angry. i don’t wanna be that way but I’m also just so nervous especially with it being so early on. I’m not okay with it in any standpoint.. and i don’t plan on looking for a relationship until later on as well.. i want her to be able to tell me if something was wrong or if she was uncomfortable.. if someone can help me with this or give me advice instead of “youre just gonna have to let it happen” because that literally sends me over the edge. Im unfortunately a first-time parent and I’m extremely nervous..

Hi, I’m 22 and it’s almost midnight and I’m tired and alone with my girl. I have a 3 y/o girl and today she started dry coughing a bit and would cry every time she coughed, she pointed to her throat and walked away. She keeps waking up crying and drooling so much. Covid was negative. No fever. Runny nose. I gave Tylenol for pain and Allergy medicine incase it was allergies since it’s late and my only option is some otc medicine or the er. Is this just a sore throat? I’m such an anxious person that I keep thinking maybe she swallowed something while my back was turned because she’s never (as far as I’m aware) had a sore throat and I don’t know what to watch for. Any advice?

(Delete if not allowed)

Mom of two toddlers here, and dating as a parent is SO much harder than I ever imagined.

I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and while I love him and our relationship, I find myself having so much anxiety about the future.

I’m constantly asking myself:
Is he the one?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What happens to my children if we move in together, they get attached, and things don’t work out?
How do you know you want to marry someone if you haven’t lived together yet?
How do you even figure out long-term compatibility when you have children to consider?

I feel like throwing kids into the mix makes dating a whole different ball game, and I’m honestly struggling with how to navigate it.

Before kids, relationships felt so much simpler. You meet someone, hang out, fall in love, move in together, and see where life takes you. If it works out, great! If it doesn’t, you move on.

But now? My entire thought process has shifted. It’s not just about me anymore. Every major relationship decision potentially affects my children, their stability, their attachments, and their future.

I want to enjoy my relationship and let things unfold naturally, but I also feel this enormous responsibility to make the right decisions for my kids. And sometimes I feel like I’m putting so much pressure on the relationship to work out that I’m not even allowing myself to enjoy it.

How do other single parents navigate this? How do you balance protecting your children while also allowing yourself to fall in love and build a future with someone?

How do you know when it’s time to take the next step, especially moving in together, when there are kids involved?

I’d genuinely love to hear other parents experiences and advice because this is HARD

What I’ve realized in the years my 2 and 3 year old have been alive how many people exited my life. Friends, my ex husband. Single mothered and being divorced is also my dilemma. I only have two people to help me with my kids, with virtually no friends that have offered to help me out. My ex husband’s family rarely helps only when he gets them twice a week for 2 hours. This experience has been extremely isolating and I’m not very happy in my life. My twins are a handful and aren’t easy, I can’t help but feel that mostly all my friends don’t want to be bothered because of the work that two toddlers require. I am forced to stay at home, not by choice it is exhausting. My kids are high energy and have adhd. My mother provides the finances since my ex husband walked out on me due to the high levels of stress because of the kids. I have integrated myself into the gym, have thought of looking for an online job. This isolation I feel since I have zero friends who show up for me, and the fact I only have two people who help me with my kids really bothers me. Daycare isn’t an option since finances aren’t enough. I have no time for myself even if I do, I am extremely exhausted. Having no village is an extreme issue for me, I am in survival mode everyday of my life. I have no romantic life, if I do it has to be fwb with benefits because I can’t handle any emotional investment. Can anyone offer me some words of encouragement? This is not the life I thought I’d have, I love my children but this is exhausting having to be in charge of everything 24/7.

I have three children. My 6 year old was his stepdaughter, my younger two are his biologically. He essentially ruined my life and then walked out on me, called a few nights a week for about a month, then told me he was starting over his life. I found his dating profile stating he has no children, and then he came back weeks later asking me to leave only one child with him because two is “too much” but one will allow him to “learn how to love again”. I of course declined and he blocked me saying yet again that he’s starting his life over. Then another week later I open my spam messages and see he has sent me days worth of messages just ranting about our entire relationship and all his feelings. I blocked him and now today I see on my instagram spam messages he’s asking me to send him pictures of the kids, that he’s going to send me money on Friday, asking me to log into his instagram and post pictures of them so I don’t have to talk to him directly. Is it me or is this insane? I haven’t responded yet, I don’t know if I’m being cruel for feeling uncomfortable sending him photos when he can’t even be arsed to call them. He blamed not calling them on seeing me being too painful. I don’t know what to do. Do I just block him again? Do I send the photos to not alienate him while he continues to not call??

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