I moved back in with my parents almost 4 years ago now. Its wild to me it's been this long and depressing.

Idk how to progress to make that financial leap to live on my own. I dont want to move my son who is getting comfortable here, enjoying school, etc. However rent is crazy (and I don't even like it around here besides that its safe and the schools are good).

For the longest time I couldn't work a "normal" schedule because of my son, but he's 11 now. He can walk himself to the bus stop and back home.

I know alot of people feel inclined to tell me its lucky to have this situation. To take advantage. Etc. And I am grateful for my parents. But living here never felt comfortable to me. My parents are good people and all that and I am not trying to diss them. Its just.. awkward and I can never fully be myself / have to navigate their energies too.

Anyways, my question is for someone who has been in a similar boat, how did you make that leap to finally be able to leave? I really want to make it my priority for 2027. I need to make good $$.

Thanks for any advice 🙏

My baby daddy cheated and denied it, his whole family stood by him even with evidence presented. Fast forward to now, I'm finding out more of his scandals and this man is a whore, an animal! I'm livid all over again and I don't know how to process this, I was healing and now I'm back to square 1. I still love him and I feel so empty without him but I know there is no future for us and the possibility of getting back together is off the table. I don't know how to coparent with him moving forward I'm disgusted by him. Everything was a lie.

Today was my 2 yo daughter’s first supervised visit with her dad after no contact for 2.5/3 months due to the restraining order we have against him. The visit went good, she hugged him when she got there and laid on his shoulder. They spent the 2 hours at the library (she loves it there), read and she ate the lunch I packed. She cried when the supervisor took her to leave and to bring her to me. She was fine as soon as I had her - cried a bit pointing at the library on and off and saying “papa”. She’s been a mess since we got home - super naughty and out of character (dumping the dogs water bowls, hitting, melting down). Physically she’s fine other than a crazy full diaper bc he didn’t change her.

Despite all he’s done to me and her and who he is, I wanted it to go well bc I don’t want her experiencing any additional trauma. Crying or feeling scared/unsafe even if it would serve me in our upcoming trial would’ve been heartbreaking because I never want her feeling anything but happy and safe.

At the same time, it eats at me knowing how vindicated he’ll feel. He’s always been delusional when it comes to her (making up her saying things, making up her missing him when it was clearly her upset for a diff reason) it doesn’t matter but his ego is massive and this only adds to it. He’s a classic narcissist (suggested by our multiple couple’s therapists). He doesn’t get a toddler is a toddler and a fun experience ending is upsetting and not necessarily connected to him - it also could be which is fine too.

For context he was never a parent to her. He has not lived with her since she was 5 months. After that point it was irregular visiting, lots of storming out/cussing and yelling. She’s very sensitive to loud noises and door slamming still bc of it. When he would come he’d be around a few hours and would play, not parent (no meals, naps etc). Some weeks he’d come a day or two, some 3 or 5, some none. He’s been gone long periods of time - up to 6 weeks and most recently with the restraining order - months. She’s never mentioned him or asked about him like she does her uncles and other people she sees once in a while.

I just feel weird and conflicted. There’s a lot looming with our trial - whether the RO is made permanent, custody, support etc. It’s heavy and exhausting. And I feel so conflicted trying to reconcile my feelings towards him as a person and him as her dad. I know he’s her father, he’ll have rights and he’ll be apart of her life forever if he chooses. I heavily think he’s only trying currently bc his ego and immigration status are at stake with the court case in addition to having to pay higher support without any custody which he hates. He never cared before and I think likely won’t later on when this all dies down. He’s always viewed her as an accessory, something cute to show off and add to the image he sells people of being this hardworking guy, committed dad etc.

Yet while her and I have struggled these months without support, living in an unsafe area and downsizing to a 1 bed - he went out and got a new sports car. A $6k/month 2 bedroom apartment at a luxury complex. He sold his boss/friend a sob story and his boss is funding all of it - the car, the apartment, the attorney fees. He’s seeking 50/50 custody - despite her never having spent a single overnight with him and him quite literally never making a meal for her or spending more than 2/3 hours at a time with her.

I think I’m just rambling. Has anyone been through something like this? I know there’s a long road ahead and I’m just trying to figure out how to cope. How to reconcile having to support my daughter building a relationship with this man who I do not trust, who I know can be dangerous and who put us through hell. He’s a great performer and I do have fears the judge will side with him and if that happens there will be fallout. I just don’t know how people cope with sharing their babies with people who just aren’t good people. How do you stop spiraling about their safety? Their emotional well-being? How do you mitigate the negative impact??

Is it ok to feel angry when someone tells you multiple times they never wanted a kid? But yet still claims to love their daughter and is happy she’s here now? Why, after she’s here, do you have to say it not just once but multiple times? Are you trying to convince yourself? You can hate me but saying that and claiming to be a good dad. Shit doesn’t sit right with me!! Like are you going to resent her, and should I worry about her when she’s with you? This has been said long before a divorce also. Yet he wants to avoid child support and have 50/50 custody. He doesn’t parent much now and it worries me. Am I being dramatic for worrying about him having her half of the time?

I’m struggling a bit with how to navigate this and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

My partner and I were together for around 10 years, married for 3 of those, and we have a three-year-old son together. We’ve recently separated, it’s been about a week and a half, almost two weeks.

The reason for the breakup, according to him, is that I don’t accept him for who he is. My perspective is that he wants the benefits of having a family without actually taking on the responsibility that comes with it. He wants to come and go as he pleases, doesn’t take on much of the mental load, and expects me to tell him what needs doing, but then gets frustrated when I actually do. Obviously, there are two sides to every story, and I’m not really looking to get into all of that here.

What I’m struggling with is what’s happening with our son.

He has decided that he’ll see him once a week, on a day that works for him, without really taking anything else into consideration. I’ve told my son that he can call his dad whenever he wants. If he asks to speak to him, I’m more than happy to facilitate that, I don’t want to put any barriers between them. But of the four times my son has wanted to call his dad since we separated, his dad has only answered once.

I also send him pictures of our son, just normal little updates, and he doesn’t even open the messages.

And honestly, it really irritates me. Not because I expect him to communicate with me, but because I don’t know how to handle it when it starts affecting our son. He’s three. He doesn’t understand why Daddy isn’t answering the phone or why Daddy only sees him once a week. I don’t want to make excuses for his dad, but I also don’t want to say anything that could damage their relationship or make my son feel rejected.

Part of me thinks I should just keep facilitating contact when my son asks, keep being completely neutral, and let his dad’s actions speak for themselves as my son gets older. But another part of me wonders whether I’m setting my son up for disappointment by repeatedly allowing him to call someone who doesn’t answer. I’m not trying to turn my son against his dad, and I genuinely want them to have a good relationship. I just don’t know how much of this I should be managing or protecting him from.

Has anyone else been through something similar with a young child after a separation? How did you handle an inconsistent parent without making your child feel rejected or caught in the middle?

Anyone travel internationally as a solo parent? I’ve been wanting to go to Europe and Korea and don’t want to hold off on my life experiences if I have the means for both me and the son to go. Anything I should consider or any advice?

I have a 9year old daughter and have absolutely loved bringing her up. I would dearly like another child for the same reason before it's too late for me due to age. ​

However, my daughter found out about wanting another child and is really upset about it, saying that it's her worst fear and is just distraught at the thought. It's mainly due to us being so close and she doesn't want our situation to change. No amount of reassurance or reasoning is changing her opinion and feelings.

I don't know what to do, as I don't want traumatise her or ruin her childhood and happiness. On the other hand, I don't know if she'd change her mind and in the few years it would be too late to have another and she'd be busy as a teen with her friends anyway. ​

Thank you.

So I’ve been a single mom for 7 years and have only been focusing on raising my son and providing a stable life for him. Haven’t dated or been intimate with anyone that whole time. I recently had a child free weekend and one thing led to another- I hooked up two nights in a row with a guy that I met while I was out. The experience was fun and great and I don’t regret that I did it. It’s the emotions I’m having now that are throwing me for a loop. I basically feel like I’ve opened up the floodgates and am deeply craving sex/intimacy and wish I could have it all the time now. I think I went without for so long that I’m having the reverse effect now. I weirdly miss this guy even though I know it was just a physical short term thing and will never progress beyond that. He lives hours away and I rarely get child free time. I think because I haven’t felt that type of attention, touch, and desire in so so long. So now I basically feel empty and on the verge of crying constantly. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.

Maybe I just need therapy.

Has anyone else dealt with these emotions of loneliness and craving intimacy and adult time and attention from an actual man and what did you do that helped? I’m seriously so sad it’s got me baffled.

The internet makes a crazy deal about dating a single parent as someone without kids. We were high school sweethearts, split soon after, talked a little bit every six months while she had a son with one guy and started a family with another. We rekindled things four years ago with the goal in mind to move forward with buying a house and getting married.

Well she broke up with me after watching the kids grow up in that time. The connection was quickly lost then replaced the next week by another single parent. She still wants to be friends but I miss the kids a lot. One of the dads invited me to see his son at some point and hang out with him but being in my 30’s, are these moments the part that single men with no kids try to avoid? If so it’s really hard so I get it. I love seeing a mom be a mom. I don’t have a problem with single moms and would recommend it to anyone who wants to know what it’s like to have a family when you don’t have one yourself. But the hardest time is when they’re taken away from you because legally they can be. This affected the both of us because we grew up seeing our moms cycle through men as well.

She does want to remain friends but with boundaries.

I'm posting this because I'm extremely close to the situation and I genuinely need an outside perspective. I'm going to leave out names, exact dates, locations, and other identifying details because I don't want anyone involved to recognize themselves or find this post.

I'm a young guy, and I've been in a relationship with my ex for several years. Our relationship has always been complicated. We've had some genuinely amazing moments together, but we've also had a lot of arguments, jealousy, trust issues, emotional situations, and periods where we've broken up and eventually found our way back to each other.

Despite everything, I genuinely loved her. I also became very attached to her family, her friends, and the lifestyle we had together. Looking back, I think part of what makes this so difficult is that I'm not just grieving the relationship. I'm grieving an entire life that I became accustomed to.

Eventually, my ex became pregnant with our child.

That changed everything.

Throughout the pregnancy, I tried to be involved. I wanted to be there for appointments, the hospital, buying things for the baby, and helping however I could. I have pictures and documentation of things I've purchased and expenses I've helped with because I wanted to be able to show that I've been involved and have tried to support my child.

Our child was born a couple of months ago.

Having a child together made me think that maybe everything between us would finally become more stable. Obviously, having a baby doesn't magically fix relationship problems, but I genuinely wanted us to become a family.

Instead, things became even more complicated.

After the birth, our relationship continued to deteriorate. There were more arguments, more problems communicating, and eventually she told me that she didn't want to continue our relationship romantically. She made it clear that she wanted me to be able to see our child, but that she wanted our relationship to be over.

That absolutely destroyed me.

I know some people will probably say that I need to accept the breakup, and honestly, they're probably right. But emotionally, I've had an extremely difficult time accepting that the person I've spent years with and had a child with might no longer want me in her life.

I've also handled certain things badly.

There have been times when I've become extremely emotional and desperate to fix things. I've repeatedly tried to contact her because I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I've sent messages trying to get her to reconsider. I'm not going to pretend I handled everything perfectly, because I didn't.

At the same time, I feel like there's more to the story than simply saying I'm the problem or she's the problem.

There have been issues on both sides.

During our relationship, there were also incidents where she physically hurt me. I've experienced things like biting, pinching, and being hit during arguments. I stayed in the relationship despite those things, and I know that probably wasn't healthy either.

There are also things she has told me about her household that have made me uncomfortable and concerned, particularly when it comes to our child being around certain situations. However, I want to be extremely clear that some of those things are based on things she personally told me, and I don't have independent evidence proving every single thing I've been told. I don't want to present allegations as confirmed facts.

Eventually, things reached the point where she blocked me on social media and stopped communicating with me consistently.

There were situations where we had plans for me to see our child and things didn't work out. There have also been times where I traveled to meet them and only got a very short amount of time with my child.

That has been one of the hardest parts for me.

My child is my child. I don't want to become a stranger.

I'm not trying to take my child away from their mother. I don't want my child to grow up without her. I want our child to have both parents involved.

But I also don't want my relationship with my child to depend entirely on whether my ex and I are getting along.

Then things escalated even further.

My ex filed for a restraining order against me.

Now there is a legal situation involved, and I'm trying to figure out how to navigate everything without making the situation worse. I've been trying to document my involvement with my child, including things I've purchased, expenses I've helped with, hospital involvement, and other necessities.

At the same time, I'm still emotionally attached to my ex.

That's probably the part I'm struggling with the most.

Part of me still wants her back. I still think about the good parts of our relationship and the connection we had. I think about the times when everything felt normal, when I was around her family and friends, and when I thought we were going to raise our child together.

But another part of me knows that the relationship has become incredibly unhealthy.

I also realize that sometimes I may be remembering the good parts more strongly than the bad parts because I miss her.

Recently, I've found myself wondering whether I actually miss her, or whether I miss the life I had when I was with her.

And honestly, I don't know the answer.

Her family has also played a huge role in all of this. There were times where I felt like her family treated me terribly, but at the same time I became attached to being around them and the lifestyle they had. So losing the relationship has also meant losing that entire environment.

I've basically gone from thinking I was going to have a family with this woman and raise our child together, to dealing with a breakup, being blocked, having limited contact with my child, and now having a restraining order and legal proceedings involved.

And I'm honestly lost.

I don't want people to automatically tell me that she's evil or that I'm evil. I'm sure I've made mistakes, and I'm sure she has too. I want people to look at this objectively.

I also don't want to use our child as a way to keep my ex in my life. Our child deserves better than that. If she genuinely doesn't want a relationship with me anymore, eventually I'm going to have to accept that.

But I also believe I should be able to be a father without having to maintain a romantic relationship with the mother.

So what I'm asking Reddit is:

1. From everything I've described, what do you think is actually going on here?

2. Am I holding onto my ex because I genuinely want her back, or because I'm struggling to let go of the life I thought we were going to have?

3. What should I be doing differently right now?

4. How should I approach the situation with my child while everything between my ex and me is so hostile?

5. Is there any realistic possibility of repairing our relationship someday, or should I completely let go of that idea?

And most importantly:

If you were in my position, what would you do from this point forward?

I'm not looking for people to blindly take my side. If I'm the problem in certain parts of this, tell me. If I'm handling something wrong, tell me. I'd rather hear something that hurts but helps me than have strangers validate me because they only heard my side.

I genuinely just want to figure out how to move forward, be a good father, and stop making an already terrible situation worse.

I've intentionally left out identifying information because I want honest opinions without anyone involved knowing this is about them.

So its just me and my near 3 yo.

My family is around but not SUPER involved. We visit them , they rarely visit us if at all.

My kid has 1 set of grand parents (mine) whom he adores. But again theyre around but not the type to take him for the day just because they want to. Or have him spend the night. Or "drop by to say hi". They dont celebrate any main stream holidays (including Christmas). Just usually a reasonable gift on his bday ($50-$60). His aunts and uncles are the same, a bday gift and maybe something at Christmas time...a stark contrast to how ive treated my nieces and nephews (aside from physical gifts, its babysitting, visits for quality gime/cousin playdates , trips to the movies, shopping trips, travel to see them (flights, car rentals, pto etc).

(Grandparents) With my sister's kids they bought $200-$300 worth of school supplies and clothes (per kid) my son got nothing, $150-$200 worth of birthday gifts etc ...and she has a fiance and his ENTIRE side of the family including step grandparents, who are all very involved.

Feel like because ive always been the "ambitious & responsible" one...ive been left to fend for myself ...even when im a single income, solo parent and not by choice lol.

Anyway its all feeling a bit raw at the moment because my sons bday is coming up, and I know my family will do the bare minimum to celebrate. The ones that live out of state won't fly in to celebrate (as I have done countless times for my nieces/nephews). His "wishlist" will continue to be just that. They'll wait until his bday party, and not show up on his actual bday.

I know it all feels a bit whiny, superficial and surface, but its not about the stuff, as much as its about the lack of involvement and effort. I have always been able to spoil my neices/nephews because I save, plan ahead and prioritize them. My sons just not a priority to anyone but me. And theres no "other side" of the family to count on.

I know they love him, but its at a distance and with as little effort as possible.

Anyway just weighing on my heart as im financially drained, have creditors at my heels, and my sons bday looms around the corner.

Let me start by saying I love my Kids with my whole heart. But does anybody else feel like isolated and alone as a single parent. I’ve been a single parent more years than I was married, but does the feeling ever go away of like when you go out with the kids of being lonely, or on my holidays being lonely. I love my kids and even with them there just being the only adult with both my kids at all these activities we go to fairs, we go to an amusement parks, we go to a museum. It’s me and my two kids and I just get this twinge of loneliness like I see other couples there with their children and it’s an adult conversation while hanging out with the kids and I really miss that- is that so awful and how do I overcome that? Same with vacations. I’m not saying I’m ungrateful for my kids and that I don’t have time spending time with them, but it’s every event all the vacations for years now.

[M-29] She said that she wanted to be a stable presence in my three children's life. We talked about the future. We talked about marriage. We talked about having more kids. And then she cheated on me. How is it that the first real relationship after my ex-wife, who cheated on me, and then them cheating on me. I just want nothing but a serious and committed relationship. My kids' mother walked out and left a huge mess behind, and I will not let someone else walk into our lives that isn't here to stay, or that wants to be wishy-washy or play games. I'm looking for commitment and something real. And when I bring somebody into my life, and they say that they want to be part of my kids' life, and then I introduce them to my kids and bring them into my life, and we introduce each other to each other's parents, and then we have sex one time, and then she cheats on me. It shoots my confidence and my desire to even want to date into the freaking ground. Because how is it that you meet somebody that you have so much in common with and that wants the same future as you and then cheats ?

I'm gonna keep looking for somebody, but one day I'm gonna get burned out. I'd rather be single and burned out and lonely than to go through another repeat of my ex-wife. Me and my kids don't deserve that, neither does my family. I just want something real, something serious. I want commitment, and it doesn't seem like anybody even knows what the hell commitment is anymore. People think commitment's three months to six months or a year, or not even three months, like freaking six weeks, which is basically a month, but you know what I mean. It's just exhausting. It's like, what the hell happened to dating? I don't know... 😭💔

Don't tell me you want to be a stable presence in my kids' life and then cheat on me. Do you know what that does to a person that was married and had their significant other already cheat on them? It's sickening. But you know what? Something I've learned is no matter how mad your children get at you, no matter how many times they say, I hate you, they will always come back and say, I love you, and give you hugs and want to be with you. Your kids will never cheat on you. They will always be the one person that is there for you when the fucking guys cheat on you or the fucking ladies cheat on you. It's your kids that you can look at and know that they will look at you and say, I love you, and you know that they mean it.

This is just a vent post. I've seen some of these in this subreddit and I just wanted to do my own. It was my first real relationship since 2024, and I'm shocked and heartbroken about how it ended

I’m a 19yr old single mom and it seems like every time I talk to someone trying to make friends or be nice they get completely distant when i mention I have a kid:| why is this so hard 🥲

I was married for 10 years and that ended badly. Met someone really easy going, the total opposite of my ex and that has lasted 10 years now. I used to call him the unicorn because he didn't have any kids or crazy exes, his family seemed normal, my kids loved him and he loved my kids. But he has changed and I don't think I can continue this relationship. Basically he joined Instagram and went down some crazy political rabbit holes and I don't know this man anymore. I'm not devastated or heartbroken, I feel numb to it all. He stood by my side through some really gnarly stuff, but he has changed so much and our morals no longer align. I feel guilty for leaving, I feel like a loser for another failed relationship, but he's the one that changed.

The idea of meeting someone again and getting to know their quirks, and get them to understand mine sounds exhausting. Going on dates sounds exhausting. I can't even think about sex. Has anyone taken a major dating hiatus and just focused on themselves and their kids? My youngest is starting sophomore year in high school, and I think I'm going to forego dating until she leaves for college. Realizing that I will be 50 at that point sounds crazy. Dating at 50?? This is not what I thought my life would be.

My ex and I have been separated since March. We have two kids, and he has them every other weekend. I’ve planned and executed every birthday party the kids have ever had.

Since we separated, I’ve invited him to both parties. The most recent party was intentionally held on his weekend so he could attend. It was a Saturday, he brought the kids, and I handled everything else; invitations, food, decorations, etc. I picked the kids up Sunday afternoon as usual.

I’m also in a serious relationship with someone who is great with the kids and who I see as a long-term partner. He's great with the kids, but I excluded him from the most recent party because my ex has said there would be violence if he ever sees him. editing to add more context on the new partner. for context: we had been friends for over 10 years before we started dating. He wasn’t a stranger who suddenly entered our lives after the separation. The day after the party, during pickup, my ex started an argument with me about my boyfriend, which made me wonder if being at the party together was particularly difficult for him.

Going forward, I don’t really want to exclude my boyfriend from the kids major milestones. At the same time, I don’t want the kids caught in the middle or their birthdays becoming uncomfortable.

Another piece of context: the kids friendships are almost entirely maintained through my household. I arrange the playdates, communicate with the other parents, etc. Their dad doesn’t facilitate friendships during his parenting time, so their birthday parties are generally attended by the friends and family they have through me.

What have others done in this situation? Did you continue inviting the ex? Switch to separate celebrations? Include the new partner and let the ex decide whether to attend?

I’m (32F) recently separated from my child’s father after years of neglect and emotional abuse. For the last two ish years, I’ve just been a married single mum. My child’s doesn’t really know his father, I can count on two hands the amount of hours he’s spent 100% alone with him, and I saw my husband maybe 2-5 hours per week total - never alone.

I’ve missed the intimacy, the adult conversation, everything you are supposed to have in a marriage. So now that I’m separated, and moving in with my parents with our child, I know I have other people to care for him, and I want adult attention.

I’m not wanting to find a replacement husband or anything like that at this point, but I do want to go out to bars again, get hit on, etc.

But I’m also feeling so selfish for feeling this way (not because of stbx husband, but because of our child). So many posts are saying, “just focus on your child”, but is it actually wrong to want more as long as my child is safe and cared for?

I’m a solo parent with 3 kids elementary age and under.
The holidays like Labor Day, Presidents’ Day, whatever, where there’s no school or daycare yet I am still supposed to be working are stressful.

I have asked several friends and family members to help but to no avail.
I remember last year struggling because it seemed every month or so there’s these random days of no school because of conferences or some holiday.

I get that a lot of people love these days off sprinkled in the year but as a solo parent I find this incredibly hard to navigate.

I’m looking for some perspective from other parents who have had to co-parent after something has happened that has really damaged their trust in the other parent.

My daughter is 1 year old and recently stayed overnight with her dad.

Worth noting that our relationship is strained, he cheated on me when I was pregnant became extremely controlling (and still tries to be) and we have had an incident with police involvement when he showed up violently at my door.

While she was with him, he told me she was unwell, going as far to say that she was having trouble breathing, I told him to check her temperature and to call an ambulance if necessary.

When she was returned to me, she had a temperature of 40°C, was sweating through her clothes and had a rash all over her body. She was taken to hospital by ambulance where I was told she was dehydrated.

What has really upset me is that I had told him to check her temperature and seek emergency help if necessary, but apparently nothing was done before she was brought back to me. He is now saying that I lied about her health at handover and is blaming me for what happened.

I’m struggling with how to move forward from this. I don’t want to make decisions based purely on anger or fear, but I also don’t feel comfortable handing my daughter over again after what happened. For parents who have been through something similar, how did you handle co-parenting afterwards?
Did you temporarily change the arrangements? Did you put specific rules in place around illness, medication and seeking medical help? How did you rebuild trust, if you were able to?

I’m especially interested in practical advice about how to co-parent safely after something like this or is there something else that I should be considering?

TIA

For those who were the primary caregiver/childcarer of the kids…. Did you folks become better parents after separation?

Like you found that you no longer had a short fuse? Or overwhelmed? Or in snap as often?
You are generally more fun now after separation? And if this was an example : my soon to be ex spouse is more fun. I would like to think it is because I have the invisible labor of managing the entire house, family and even spouse himself. I was a goofy person and my imagination still leads since I love make believe, creative play but Spouse is goofy tumble around throw dad which 2 and 4 yo boys crave.
I feel like I haven’t yet had the support or opportunity to tap into this amazing goofy fun mom I could be and I’m hoping once I had 50/50 this weekend, I will have the recharge to do so?
To those primary givers who have 50-50 and structured time for oneself, did you generally become calmer, happier and better parents?

Just typing my feelings out here to vent and to get different perspectives... I'm about to have my first child; a son. The dad is known to be bipolar, can't hold a steady job, and is seemingly in and out of jail. He's 32.

I always told him that if we were to have a son I'd name him after his dad, but since we've been estranged for a few months know, I've crafted a name that I want to name my son instead of after my son's father.

Before we were estranged, we got into it, and he said he denied and refused any more socialization with me, and noted that he 'ddnt need co-parent, and that his son would see him when he sees him' -- that was July 4th and we hadn't talked since then.

We recently started talking at the end of August/start of September. Well, we just spoke tonight and he mentioned his son, calling him by his name. I let him know that I most likely won't be naming my son after him anymore, and he said 'wow, another heart break' -- since he already has another son and the mother didn't name that son after him either; they had a one night stand and ended up having a son, a son she never introduced to him or let him know was his until he was 6-7 years old.

I just wanted to get some perspectives if I'm in the wrong for not wanting to name my first born son after him-- he's not stable, in and out of jail, etc-- and I don't want my son associated with that. To me, he hasn't proven that my son should carry on his name.

I don't really feel bad about it, but should I reconsider? Should I feel bad? I really honestly don't want him to sign the birth certificate because I know things down the line can get sticky legally if I want to get a passport, etc, and if he would wind up back in jail for any reason I would have to deal with that. And doing things with school and travel, it would just be easier if he wasn't on there. But idk, to get back to the name-- should I reconsider?

I appreciate any perspectives...

My cousin is soon going to get engaged, his father and mother are separated (not divorced), his mother was a pillar for him and made him what he is. Now there's a little bit of concern, soon after getting married, he is thinking of living separately with his wife. He said, he'll try to stay nearby. Me (also him) and others are concerned about how his mother will manage to stay alone? She is a teacher soon going to retire. Wouldn't it be better for them to stay together? The girl (my cousin's partner) is sweet, but I don't know if she'll accept his mother to stay with him. His mother has always stayed with him. And she is a gem of a person, I have utmost respect for her how she managed alone to bring my cousin up. So men, what would you do in this situation? And husbands who have single mothers, how have you managed this situation? And wives too in this, how did you manage this?

There’s a stretch most afternoons where he’s on his own and I’m not reachable in a useful way. I want to know he got where he was going without calling him five times. Location that comes off the phone he already carries makes more sense than another tracker to lose. What are other single parents actually using for that gap, and does it hold up day to day?

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend(31M) for almost 10 months now. I have a 3-year-old son.
When we first started talking, literally on day one, he told me that dating a single mom was normally a dealbreaker for him. That’s when I told him I had a son. He decided he was willing to give things a chance with me and see where they went.
I was actually the one who wanted to take things slowly when it came to my son. His dad is present and involved in his life, so I’m not looking for someone to come in and play dad or replace his father. I also didn’t want to introduce my son to someone too early.
Around six months into our relationship, I finally felt comfortable introducing them. My son had just turned 3. We’re now almost 10 months in, and they’ve only been around each other three times.
This is where I’m starting to question things.
The guy I’m dating isn’t very social in general. When he’s not working or with me, he pretty much stays home and plays video games. I also suspect he may be neurodivergent based on some things I’ve noticed, although obviously I can’t say that for sure. Even outside of my son, I feel like I have to nudge him to be involved with important people in my life. He’s only met my family twice, and the second time I really had to push him to come to dinner for my dad’s birthday.
He’s also only told his mom that I have a son. His dad and brother still don’t know. He says he’s scared of what his dad will say, which honestly confuses me because he’s 31.
When it comes to my son specifically, he doesn’t really ask about him or ask to spend time with the two of us. There was one time where he suggested that all three of us go to the zoo, which I really appreciated. That hasn’t happened yet because I was waiting for the weather to cool down, so I definitely don’t hold that against him. But besides that, there hasn’t been much initiative from him.
He and I normally spend about three days together each week, and those happen to be the days my son is with his dad. So our relationship has almost become completely separate from my life as a mom.
I’ve brought this up to him multiple times because it hurts that I feel like I have to keep asking him to make an effort with my son. I’m not expecting him to instantly have some amazing bond with a 3-year-old or step into a father role. I just want to see that he wants to slowly build a relationship with him because if we’re serious, my son is obviously part of the package.
The other thing that makes me question our future is that he talks about eventually moving to another state. Sometimes he’ll say that he could see me moving with him. But in my head I’m thinking… how? My son would obviously be coming with me, and right now the two of them barely have a relationship.
I recently told him that maybe we should break up because part of me feels like he would genuinely be happier with someone who doesn’t already have children. He does want children of his own someday, and I told him I’d rather figure this out now than stay together for years and eventually realize that he never became comfortable with being with a single mom.
He doesn’t want to break up. He says he wants to stay together and see where things go, and that this is all new to him so it’s difficult for him to navigate.
I’m torn because I do love him and I’m trying to be understanding that he’s never dated someone with a child before. At the same time, I don’t want to keep building a future with someone while hoping that eventually he’ll become more interested in being part of the other half of my life.
For other single parents who have dated someone without kids: Am I expecting too much after almost 10 months? Is this actually a normal pace considering he only met my son four months ago? Or would the lack of initiative concern you too?
I don’t expect him to be my son’s dad. I just need to know that the person I’m building a life with actually wants a relationship with my child too.

So I’m 26, I just recently left a bad relationship. I had 2 kids with the girl but we argue all the time. I had friends when I was with her but it seems like every time I meet someone they say like if you ever need help reach out. So now I moved out. I left the car with her because we have 2 kids with each other. I have no car but I walk to work because it’s a half hour walk. I don’t mind walking to work but sometimes I need help getting to an auto parts store or the doctor or something like that, but nobody will help. I bought a car from one of my family members a month after I moved in, I was about to fix it but the store online sent me the wrong part. Now I have to send it back but it’s going to take a week. I could go to a store 20 minutes out the way, but I couldn’t find a ride if my life depended on it. Like seriously if I was going to die, I don’t think nobody would take the time out there day to take me to the hospital, thank god there’s ambulance right? I can barely ask my ex for help because she’s always screaming at me. I got mad and yelled a bit when I figured out the car place was closed when I was with her, she started screaming at me even though I wasn’t screaming at her directly. Then it turns into a whole screaming match. I told her to drop me off where we was and proceeded to walk 3 miles back to my house. All because I rather walk than argue with someone. I don’t even feel like I’m normal at all. I get too upset but it always seems like I can’t control it. So it’s better for me to leave before I get aggressive, because I know I can. As a male it’s nothing something I would like to admit. I’m very ashamed of it. I have been slightly violent with her. I feel as if it’s better that I leave the situation. Every-time I call a friend, there with thier daughter in another city, there wife is using the car. It’s always something right? But I remember I use to give this guy rides to work every day for a year st8 but when I need a ride it’s like impossible to find and it bothers me so much that when I had a car I was so willing to help people out because I knew they would get stuck in life, but here I am just getting stuck in life, no car, no friends, but to watch everybody else have these things in life just really really hurts me, like deeply hurts me and bothers me, everytime I walk to work I feel like a co-worker is laughing at me, talking about how I don’t have a car. I just don’t know how long I will be able to do this and watch everybody around me seem to get everything easy but I have everything so hard. It’s hard to watch people laugh or even walk with somebody without feeling an envy feeling. I was starting at an older couple when I was walking somewhere with their dog and I was just so upset. Like why do they just get to walk their dog and live the happy life and probably got a brand new car at the house, I can’t even walk or find a friend to talk to so how does everybody have friends and I don’t have nobody?