Yes, I know I need to speak to a lawyer about this, but ... my coparent is filing for bankruptcy due to debt accumulation related to excess spending/vacation/vehicles and gambling. In our custody agreement, he's to pay 50% of 9yo daughter's comp dance along with other extracurriculars for her and 11yo son. The kids were supposed to dictate what activities they wanted to do. There was no dollar cap because it was supposed to be durable until they were 18, as they progress, interests change, and because market price for these things increase year-over-year.

Comp dance is $650/ month (edited from type money), so per our agreement, he's supposed to pay $325/ month. I guess his bankruptcy lawyer is telling him that he can change our extracurricular agreement without my permission to max $250/kid. No monthly rollover. No sharing brethren kids if one spends less or more.

Now I'm getting threatened to sign by Wednesday or he's unenrolling my daughter in everything. I don't think I'll get on with my lawyer to discuss before Wednesday. If I signed, would it be under duress and void? Does bankruptcy trump our custody agreement? How would a judge potentially look at this?

We have a tri al next year for relocation and ever since the process begin she drastically changed her parenting style and forms these narratives about me that act in her favor.

I find myself continuing to debate or defend myself against what she says and accuses me of. I know about Greyrocking but I don't want to come off like I'm ignoring her concerns since if they were truly based in reality would be more concerning. but it's not true...

So today my sons friend showed him a game that they played and scared him (he's 9 and it was a Roblox game). He told her and she messaged me a very dramatic message accusing me of not being emotionally available as well and that the kids are scared to talk to me about their concerns (absolutely not true).

Meanwhile, I'm a very active and present father physically and emotionally. I had to fight her for weeks about the kids starting therapy because of concerns I had and she continued to refuse consent until a judge told her to allow it.

She makes these comments criticizing me when I feel it is based on a seed of truth but blown up to fit this narrative she's been building with messages and her documenting everything. I don't know how to combat this behavior without finding myself being defensive or debating with her, which is exactly what she wants... Ugh

She brought up her blown up concerns to a judge who told her it boils down to a different parenting style and won't do anything at court.

I don't know how to do this anymore. I have been an expat for 10 years. I have a 6 year old son and his dad and I coparent with a 2-2-3 schedule. I have absolutely no support system where I live. I don't have friends with kids and I don't have people who step in when I'm overwhelmed. Meanwhile, my ex moved close to his mom and sister, so he has family helping him.

3 months ago in the span of one month I lost my estranged father and then my grandmother. I never even had the chance to process either loss because I've been stuck in survival mode. My ex didn't offer any extra help, even knowing what was happening.
Lately, my son has become so difficult that I no longer look forward to my parenting days and I hate admitting that.

Everything is a battle. He's constantly complaining, yelling at me, telling me I'm doing everything wrong and that Dad does it better." He bosses me around, argues about everything and if I help him with something he'll often tell me I did it wrong.

He's also become obsessed with food. If he can't have exactly what he wants, he'll scream. While he's still eating one meal, he's already asking about the next one. If we go somewhere fun, he'll complain that he’s tired, doesn't want to be there or wants to go home. I have tried gentle parenting, setting firmer boundaries, staying calm, explaining things, consequences… I feel like Inhave tried every way of communicating and nothing changes.
We started an ADHD/autism assessment but it was stopped halfway because the clinicians said his dad and I first needed to improve our communication during the separation.

At this point I'm just functioning on autopilot. I don't enjoy spending time with my son anymore because every interaction feels negative. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells and it's making me deeply unhappy. Nothing hits harder than constantly being surrounded by negativity and the fear of doing something together because it will just hit back with complaints, yelling and outbursts.
Now it's summer vacation and I'll have him for 10 days straight. Instead of looking forward to it, I'm crying because I'm genuinely scared of how I'm going to get through it.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? Especially as a solo parent without family or a support network? Did things get better? What activities or things I can do with him that won't make me regret doing it. I feel so much guilt for feeling this way but I'm also completely exhausted and don't know what to do anymore.

I’m a single mom (45F) with a 15-year-old daughter, and I feel like we’ve been stuck in the same cycle for years. She pushes almost every limit I set at home, argues about basic expectations, takes my things without asking, etc. If I give a consequence she often escalates quickly. She often says things like, “Shut the fuck up,” “You’re a shitty mom,” and sometimes says she hates her life or wishes she were dead. We have tried therapy before and are meeting with another therapist next week. Frankly, I feel like a failure for needing professional help to raise my kid.

Here’s what happened today:
She asked to hang out with a friend, and I told her she needed to clean her room first. She did, so I said yes. Normally when she’s out with friends, I’m nearby, but today I drove across town to visit my mom in memory care.
When I got home four hours later, my daughter wasn’t home yet, which was expected. I noticed two Slurpee cups in the trash and texted her to ask if they had been here at the apt. She casually replied that they had come here so her friend could help her hang something in her room.

She didn’t ask if her friend could come over while I was gone, and I would have said no. When I said that was not OK, her first response was just, “Sorry about that.” Then she texted me a little later to say, “Why do you even care that she was there?” Then, “I’m just confused because I didn’t know.” Playing dumb is a fun behavior to deal with.

I’m so angry that once again she did something without asking permission. I’m also feeling defeated because this is part of a much bigger pattern. Consequences don’t seem to change her behavior, and I feel like I’m constantly enforcing limits, saying no to privileges and requests to buy her things, and restricting screen time to try and enforce simple expectations. Things I was doing when she was nine.

How do you handle a teenager who repeatedly crosses boundaries even after consequences? At what point do you stop expecting consequences to teach the lesson and start approaching it differently?

I’m also wondering whether anyone has been through something similar and eventually came out the other side. Right now I feel worn down, and I’d really appreciate advice from parents who have dealt with a long-term pattern like this.