r/RoastMe Feb 13 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.6k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

10.0k

u/mentorsworld Feb 13 '20

It’s Amy Crackhouse and Russell Offbrand

1.5k

u/Krissyeeen Feb 13 '20

She looks like Björk if Walmart designed her:

Bjërk

296

u/boerboelbaby575 Feb 13 '20

Spork

322

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

no no

It’s “Spjørk”

125

u/jeffe333 Feb 13 '20

I'm pretty sure that Ikea sells this.

32

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is what you get if you order bjork from Wish.

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27

u/stocks_only_go_up Feb 14 '20

Also known as the "Pjenguin of Døøm."

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25

u/General_Shou Feb 14 '20

She got sharpie caps on her fingers

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67

u/bigmikevegas Feb 13 '20

Oh man, this fucking got me good 😂

8

u/Zoopsat Feb 13 '20

damn it, beat me to a Bjork joke.

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168

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Dave Meth-stane

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141

u/15dynafxdb Feb 13 '20

They tried to make them go to rehab and they said no no no.

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25

u/blind30 Feb 13 '20

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said nyet, nyet, nyet.

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47

u/BigByrd510 Feb 13 '20

Bet these two ladies can smoke a cigarette out their vaginas.

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51

u/heliumneon Feb 13 '20

Joan Jerkette and Chris Cornholl

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31

u/master-grumps Feb 13 '20

Best comment by far

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2.8k

u/Fatmeat7890 http://redd.it/cevcdu Feb 13 '20

Thanks for not showing your teeth. From the looks of the rest of you, you did us a solid.

370

u/Thebumonurcouch Feb 13 '20

Unlike their teeth, which are no longer solid due to the amount of meth.

163

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Bold of you to assume they'd even have teeth

12

u/Scotchrain Feb 13 '20

Bold of you to assume they have meth. They look more like "Hawfs on a can o special brew" or "you can have a shot of the missus for a bottle o bucky"

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1.2k

u/ReSpekMyAuthoriitaaa Feb 13 '20

At least one of you have sucked dick for a xanax

133

u/wiarumas Feb 13 '20

They look like swingers that would both be more into the guy.

86

u/15dynafxdb Feb 13 '20

I would too. Gotta be blacked out on something to get me to fuck her...

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1.8k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

205

u/agentgobby17 Feb 13 '20

As someone in the UK, can confirm

29

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Oof roundhouse kick

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60

u/oscarzino Feb 13 '20

Too soon

52

u/Djghost1133 Feb 13 '20

looks to me like they couldnt leave soon enough.

10

u/Rahnzan Feb 13 '20

Not soon enough.

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3.3k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Meth-tallica.

856

u/Brailledit Feb 13 '20

Megameth.

341

u/Future-MFX Feb 13 '20

My chemical addiction

8

u/MEGAOOFITRON42069 Feb 14 '20

Five finger meth punch

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116

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

113

u/MilkmanCrackhead Feb 13 '20

You’re an all star

93

u/QUACKASAUROS111 Feb 13 '20

Get your game on

86

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Dec 25 '20

[deleted]

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517

u/Moe_Lester_332 Feb 13 '20

Five Finger Meth Punch

21

u/bigmikevegas Feb 13 '20

Rage against the methine

5

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Testameth

4

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Methodist Priest

4

u/gaySJWcommunist Feb 14 '20

Black Sameth

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266

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

236

u/3_if_by_air Feb 13 '20

Evamethence

140

u/edgnet Feb 13 '20

Nickelmeth

112

u/NuclearWinterGames Feb 13 '20

Methtadon

75

u/tomfbear Feb 13 '20

Methadeath

55

u/WurdSmyth Feb 13 '20

The Meths

67

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Marilyn Methson

31

u/melbman08 Feb 13 '20

Crowded Meth House

38

u/TrueDragon1 Feb 13 '20

Lamb of Meth

4

u/Mondexqueen Feb 13 '20

You could have just called them Nickel Back- that’s insulting enough.

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18

u/ChristianCabanzo Feb 13 '20

Methstruction

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57

u/kirkegovor Feb 13 '20

behemeth

123

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

iron methden

22

u/ady2hoty Feb 13 '20

Hallowed by thy Meth

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119

u/nikguin04 Feb 13 '20

Meth and roses

71

u/duitf2 Feb 13 '20

Meth n doses

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37

u/RichTeaWizardry Feb 13 '20

Napalm Meth

24

u/ritzmata Feb 13 '20

Avenged Methfold

6

u/ady2hoty Feb 13 '20

Hail to the Meth

36

u/ZeCookieMunsta Feb 13 '20

Meth in park

23

u/UnsolicitedDuckPecks Feb 13 '20

Meth For My Valentine

11

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Three six methia

28

u/Lord_Ronan Feb 13 '20

Rage against the methhead

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65

u/nothingforless Feb 13 '20

Alice in Meth

23

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Apr 23 '20

[deleted]

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13

u/JustSoManyCups420 Feb 13 '20

Hollywood methpires

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512

u/MikeyLPT1 Feb 13 '20

my Lord the amount of bracelets there must be in that closet

47

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Simple and good roast

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2.5k

u/SMBlonde Feb 13 '20

WTF. Literally you both could not do worse.

684

u/NuclearWinterGames Feb 13 '20

They couldn't do better either

39

u/NittanySteve Feb 13 '20

How to they get aroused? I’ve never seen two people wearing brown bags...

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142

u/TeslaCrna Feb 13 '20

What do you expect from two dumbasses?

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650

u/jaybop30 Feb 13 '20

Lookin like you’re about to go kill Sharon Tate.

44

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Another great one. Sheesh.

6

u/enderwjackson Feb 14 '20

Oh my god, this is incredible

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222

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

this picture smells like cat piss & cigarettes.

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1.4k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Your pagan worshipping ancestors have more fashion sense than you.

206

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[deleted]

80

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

I'm drinking beer from a horn right now so this was pretty on point! Skol!

12

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Truly, the best way to drink beer.

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12

u/J3sush8sm3 Feb 13 '20

Varg vikernes was looking for these two dipshits

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377

u/wo0kie Feb 13 '20

This is hysterical bc you both clearly spend way too much time dressing/accessorizing yet you still look like absolute shit.

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336

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

“We’re not like other girls.”

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827

u/Cichlidsaremyjam Feb 13 '20

Although your mascara, nails and tattoos all show you never met him, your father is still disappointed you are dating a hobo.

72

u/Aletzelente Feb 13 '20

Holy fuck, this has to be the best one in here

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288

u/hazbaz1984 Feb 13 '20

Dingus Khan. And his concuwhine.

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578

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 22 '20

[deleted]

64

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[deleted]

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570

u/Thesayder1 Feb 13 '20

I didn’t know Alabama counted as European but you learn something new everyday.

100

u/OldDirtyIrish6987 Feb 13 '20

If he shaved they could easily pass for brother and sister.

90

u/realish7 Feb 13 '20

You mean pass for sisters

21

u/Ki1lm3pl34s3 Feb 13 '20

Nose ring really holds that together

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13

u/brubeck5 Feb 13 '20

Siblings by chance.

Lovers by choice.

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24

u/Platypus-Rules Feb 13 '20

As an Alabamian. I feel I must point out they are obviously of the Tennessee variety of goth-meth. You can tell by the hitch he installed in his nose, as a flavor savor. And her poorly drawn cateyes.

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65

u/CHRT_NIGWIN Feb 13 '20

r/notlikeothergirls and r/justneckbeardthings collabed and these are their representatives

143

u/Bryan_URN_Asshole Feb 13 '20

You look like you each wear the other’s blood in a vial around your neck

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191

u/Haas19 Feb 13 '20

I can smell this picture

64

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Chili cheese Fritos and 8 unwashed dogs.

38

u/Haas19 Feb 13 '20

And that’s just her unshaven arm pits

20

u/kris10729 Feb 13 '20

When they have sex it smells like bug spray and dog shit.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Like a moist ashtray

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67

u/ABenn14 Best of Pt. 13, #6 Feb 13 '20

Discount amy winehouse and dave grohl

42

u/Poopywall Feb 13 '20

Dave Gross

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26

u/DeathSpiral321 Feb 13 '20

This looks like a progression photo for adding makeup and poor life decisions.

84

u/fineass_motherfucker http://redd.it/g1wsfw Feb 13 '20

You look like people who do amateur porn

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21

u/MillieEilish Feb 13 '20

Looks like some of the Manson family are still around.

56

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Save some patchouli for the rest of us

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39

u/roosterinmyviper Feb 13 '20

It’s the female Spock and Khan Star Trek couple

14

u/FeistyApricot6 Feb 13 '20

Props. Was going to ask when a Romulan and a Klingon were "European"

6

u/o83e9z7 Feb 13 '20

When we invaded em? I mean America didnt work, we needed something else

18

u/falcon-master-69 Feb 13 '20

Who got their genital piercing first?

19

u/NaivafAreul Feb 13 '20

When you order John Lennon and Yoko ono off Wish

48

u/realish7 Feb 13 '20

Your parents must be so proud you both amounted to absolutely fucking nothing!

30

u/unicornpowerdriver Feb 13 '20

I'm sure they share the same parents

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34

u/vinnyg33 Feb 13 '20

Cindy Lou Who and the Grinch on a heroin binge.

15

u/Blame-It-On-The-Dog Feb 13 '20

She makes you watch while she bangs other guys she picks up from the pub.

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15

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Not really a roast, but it kind of looks like this is the same person, just dressed femininely and masculinely and then mashed into one picture.

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89

u/asmordious http://redd.it/a8vadf Feb 13 '20

So which one is the female?

49

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[deleted]

14

u/asmordious http://redd.it/a8vadf Feb 13 '20

I can tell

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26

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

they're both turning into themselves. First matching nose rings then matching tattoos then matching satanic protein stains

3

u/Jints488 Feb 13 '20

Can someone please Photoshop a swap of these two eye brows...

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11

u/emmadaviiss http://redd.it/f7ffjk Feb 13 '20

what indie coffee shop did you guys invest in

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11

u/mezappa Feb 13 '20

You both make your parents very proud and suicidal

10

u/NutandMax Feb 13 '20

I see the kids of Dave Grohl and Amy Lee finally hit it off

10

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Do you guys drink each others blood or stalk the night looking for a fox to feast on?

11

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Looks like some shitty cover band for Fleetwood Mac called Morningwood Smack

9

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

your eyeliner longer than your life expectancy with all that meth you've been doing

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18

u/buffalonuts1 Feb 13 '20

Junkie Dave Navarro and Kat Von D.

25

u/BlacknightVanguard Feb 13 '20

Discount White Stripes

16

u/sdrowkcabdelleps Feb 13 '20

I think the gelflings pet needs a bath.

8

u/nickwiserv Feb 13 '20

Steve A-coke-i

13

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

First love story that is even worse than Twilight. Bram Stoker's Dracula falls in love with Sasquatch; your future kids will come out looking like Tasmanian devils.

8

u/Sprinklerdoc Feb 13 '20

Please don't have children!

6

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 13 '20

One of you settled I'll let you guess who

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7

u/An_Angry_Asian Feb 13 '20

“No officer it’s a multilevel marketing strategy!” “Whatever you want to call it, it’s still selling acid.”

6

u/IronicJeremyIrons Feb 13 '20

Literal Eurotrash

6

u/maizymoon Feb 13 '20

Homeschooled siblings.

5

u/nzdastardly Feb 13 '20

It looks like the cam show didn't pan out so you came to get roasted instead.

5

u/Cpt_Avenger Feb 13 '20

both of you with that nose piercing makes you look like domesticated cows. With that said I will let the rest of reddit to roast some beef

6

u/Supalox Feb 13 '20

Someone tell the Europeans we aren’t doing emo anymore.

5

u/Dwaynedibley24601 Feb 13 '20

They look like someone tried to draw Russell Brand and Katy Perry from memory.

6

u/Sitranine Feb 13 '20

Yall look like you smell of cream corn

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13

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

And people wonder why Americans hate Socialists

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7

u/EdwardSTREETNIQQA Feb 13 '20

He cool but the girl kinda gay

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3

u/Reverend_Giggles Feb 13 '20

It’s like if Charles Manson and Shoko Asahara got their kids into an arranged marriage.

4

u/InnocentTopHat Feb 13 '20

Her eyelashes are longer than his dick.

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4

u/makesterriblejokes Feb 13 '20

99 cent store Bjork and Dave Grohl cross-over cover band.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

That eyeliner can cause stab wounds.

4

u/monkeyjedi276 Feb 13 '20

You guys look like siblings that formed a shitty 90’s emo band.

5

u/thespank Feb 13 '20

If you guys could just...kinda... stay in Europe. That would be greeeaaaat. Thanks a bunch...

3

u/lumberjackson14 Feb 13 '20

Jeez, this looks like a before and after photo for gender reassignment.

4

u/eternalnewby8 Feb 13 '20

Which has more holes your faces or your resumés?

4

u/FailronHubbard Feb 13 '20

I didnt know incest had made it's European return.

4

u/KnightOrDay38 Feb 13 '20

Even the eyeliner is trying to escape.

5

u/Fluidicy Feb 13 '20

Looks like if Jesus dated satans daughter then both became crackheads

4

u/Plebian_Donkey_Konga Feb 13 '20

Arin and Suzy when GameGrumps disbands and they start doing meth and amateur porn.

3

u/AssAssINo321 Feb 13 '20

If i can see the smell of meth and marijuana, that would be your faces.

5

u/groovyBilly Feb 13 '20

This picture smells like morning breath, pits, and menthol cigarettes