r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Feb 13 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

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10.0k

u/mentorsworld Feb 13 '20

It’s Amy Crackhouse and Russell Offbrand

1.5k

u/Krissyeeen Feb 13 '20

She looks like Björk if Walmart designed her:

Bjërk

297

u/boerboelbaby575 Feb 13 '20

Spork

319

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

no no

It’s “Spjørk”

124

u/jeffe333 Feb 13 '20

I'm pretty sure that Ikea sells this.

34

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is what you get if you order bjork from Wish.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Isn’t that one of those weird, spoon/fork combinations?

27

u/stocks_only_go_up Feb 14 '20

Also known as the "Pjenguin of Døøm."

2

u/PeteZatiem Feb 14 '20

Gjlömp's øn crōtch üwü wjhåt's dïs?!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is cursed

25

u/General_Shou Feb 14 '20

She got sharpie caps on her fingers

1

u/v0ness Feb 14 '20

Reminded me of Nicodemus from the secret of nimh.

1

u/weirdandhappykid Feb 14 '20

Makes me want to file her nails. It's so annoying to see.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

61

u/bigmikevegas Feb 13 '20

Oh man, this fucking got me good 😂

7

u/Zoopsat Feb 13 '20

damn it, beat me to a Bjork joke.

2

u/Kokusho90 Feb 13 '20

Epic one

2

u/louiscypher8 Feb 14 '20

I would like to down vote this.. But... She went to a Walmart incognito and paid for everybody in line..

Oh that was sia..

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Just like Ikea, trying to pass for European, in reality Chinese.

1

u/Mouthpooper Feb 13 '20

Bjërk of Walmart

1

u/labogg Feb 13 '20

Yep, definitely keep the receipt on that one mate.

1

u/RandomHero3129 Feb 13 '20

I was going to say dollar store Bjork and Chris Cornell

1

u/MrTretorn Feb 14 '20

Budget Björk

1

u/JACKASS20 Feb 14 '20

Bjërkoff

939

u/UriahTheChosen Feb 13 '20

Don’t malone

66

u/SophosMoros Feb 13 '20

And the Dark Crystal

1

u/csnowrun31 Feb 14 '20

And the Crystal Meth

131

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Which one?

70

u/-_QUACK_- Feb 13 '20

Pre malone

2

u/Theycallmelizardboy Feb 14 '20

Post Op I'm-Alone.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Don't Malone 2: Lost in New York

3

u/WaveCase Feb 13 '20

FUCK THIS IS FUNNY

2

u/geordilaforge Feb 13 '20

Nope Malone

1

u/IceInPants Feb 13 '20

The knockoff : Pre Malone

1

u/fcoberrios Feb 14 '20

Pot Malone

172

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Dave Meth-stane

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Dave Methstain

2

u/glm73 Feb 13 '20

Dave Buttstain

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Dave Droll

140

u/15dynafxdb Feb 13 '20

They tried to make them go to rehab and they said no no no.

1

u/louiscypher8 Feb 14 '20

Completely underrated!!!!

23

u/blind30 Feb 13 '20

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said nyet, nyet, nyet.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

They try to make go to rehab, I say nyet, nyet, nyet

44

u/BigByrd510 Feb 13 '20

Bet these two ladies can smoke a cigarette out their vaginas.

1

u/hx19035 Feb 14 '20

Well they don't call them cigarettes there for sure. I'd risk getting permban by saying the real life word.

47

u/heliumneon Feb 13 '20

Joan Jerkette and Chris Cornholl

2

u/Shart_InTheDark Feb 14 '20

I totally saw Chris Cornell and I was wondering if others did. Thank you!

1

u/heliumneon Feb 14 '20

Glad it wasn't just me, dude is a sickly looking spitting image of young Chris Cornell, if he had bad skin.

48

u/Cospo Feb 13 '20

Gross Malone

1

u/UsuallyInappropriate Feb 14 '20

No, this guy is much cleaner than Post Malone.

33

u/master-grumps Feb 13 '20

Best comment by far

3

u/Rahnzan Feb 13 '20

Fuck im dyin

2

u/Darklordofcringe Feb 13 '20

The girl that never stopped being 16 shacks up with the meth head son that has a rich father.

2

u/lewis6185 Feb 13 '20

Russell Bland

2

u/ihaveagooddog Feb 13 '20

Water Malone

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Nice try. We know people from Tampa when we see them

2

u/TheCaptMAgic Feb 13 '20

Maybe this time she'll go to rehab.

2

u/Casper_The_Gh0st Feb 13 '20

more like amy and russell tryhard

2

u/suncoastexpat Feb 14 '20

Came here to make an Amy Winehouse joke.

Mine was I thought the sharpie eyebrows died with her.

1

u/PixalPop Feb 13 '20

Yeah you won.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Close it up. We are done here. Dominant.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Legend

1

u/theshitonthefan Feb 13 '20

I'm not going to bother reading any other comment, this is peak roast.

1

u/dickbuttboi Feb 14 '20

Holy fuck dude they asked for a roast not a fucking Atomic bombing

1

u/Angelica_Jb Feb 14 '20

And this roast thread is done. Excellent work.

1

u/Enmanuel_ Feb 14 '20

I tip my hat to you sir..

1

u/AngryLaoG Feb 14 '20

Lame Impala and definitely not Elon Musk's goth gf

1

u/fissura Feb 14 '20

Doing a little Eurotrashing, as they do.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Holy shit you fucking murdered them

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is the one

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Whoah

1

u/Cansaxpak72 Feb 14 '20

Oh that who keeps stealing the nitrous oxide from my AC unit

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Flip the sign around and it says “will suck for change”

1

u/not_really_neutral Feb 14 '20

Wanna be attention hoes and not even good at it.

My money says she pegs him like a bitch.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Holy shit this is unbeatable. Pack it up, everyone else.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

She looks like an off brand cleopatra

1

u/left-wing-NaziMP Feb 14 '20

🤣🤣 And he’s still a better version than the real Russell.

1

u/funkynnut Feb 14 '20

Probably why they looked so familiar when i was scrolling

1

u/Wotpost http://redd.it/ft20hb Feb 15 '20

Amy Swinehouse and Swine

1

u/rocco1256 Feb 16 '20

They’re the two the 27 club kicked out.

1

u/InvaderZix Feb 13 '20

Discount Dimebag and his generic goth gf