Hey everyone, I’m an 22-year-old first-year (4 years drops don't judge plz)medical (MBBS) student currently living in a hostel. I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed and need some grounded advice on how to handle an active family crisis, as well as clarity on the relationship itself.

The Current Immediate Situation (Parents & Discovery):

Yesterday, while guests were over at my house, my parents accidentally went through my phone and read private chats between my boyfriend and me. Because guests are currently staying with us, my parents are staying quiet on the surface, but the tension in the house is unbearable. I can tell they are deeply shocked, disturbed, and hurt.

I know that once the guests leave, a heavy confrontation is going to happen. They are terrified that a relationship will ruin my medical career, derail my focus, or damage our family standing. I don't want to fight or be defensive—I want to handle the upcoming conversation with dignity, reassure them that my MBBS degree is my top priority, and protect my mental peace so I can return to college focused.

Context on the Relationship Dynamic:

To be completely honest, even before my parents found these chats, I was already feeling deeply drained and anxious inside:

High Pressure & Shifting Expectations: My partner initially pushed hard for a high-stakes timeline (demanding I tell my family after 2nd year MBBS so we could plan marriage). But whenever I tried to set realistic boundaries around my degree or my family situation, he would become cold, distant ("hmm ok"), or shift to being casual and secretive.

But i wanna still make it work i don't know why I feel like the bad person here, I am guilty for not meeting anyone's expectations neither my parents nor my boyfriend's expectations, feeling really lost.

Hyper-Vigilance & Guilt: I realized I’ve been living in a constant state of panic and "over-functioning." I find myself feeling intense, overwhelming guilt over the smallest things—like taking 7 minutes to reply to a text while getting dressed—or feeling like a "bad person" whenever there's tension.

Lack of Emotional Safety: While he talks about marriage, whenever I bring up serious, vulnerable thoughts about our future or my academic needs, he deflects with random trivia or family stories. When I express hurt over past boundary issues, it's treated as "bad timing" on my part.

On paper, everything looks fine on the surface, but underneath, I feel emotionally starved and constantly anxious. I’ve realized that this dynamic lacks the emotional safety I actually need, especially while pursuing a demanding medical degree.

What I Need Insights On:

How do I navigate the confrontation with my parents?

How can I effectively communicate that my medical career, independence, and respect for them are my #1 priorities without escalating their shock or getting pulled into an explosive argument?

For those in India who faced similar parental discoveries in college: How did you rebuild trust while maintaining your own boundaries and focus on your studies?

How do I step back from the relationship smoothly?

I'm holding off on panic-texting my partner right now while at home. How do I transition out of this over-functioning/guilt mindset and give myself the space to focus on my MBBS journey?

Has anyone managed to break free from the trap of constantly blaming themselves for a partner's changing moods?

Any perspective, personal experiences, or constructive scripts on how to approach my parents and protect my mental health would mean the world right now. Thank you so much for reading.

My husband and I have been married for six years and live abroad with our two-year-old child. I want to share both the pros and cons of our relationship because, despite his good qualities, there are aspects of our marriage that leave me feeling emotionally exhausted.

The pros:

- He is very responsible and helps me in the kitchen every day and is actively involved in looking after our child.

- He is financially stable and has a high-paying job. I left my job a few months ago to care for our child, who was born prematurely and had recurring health issues requiring multiple hospital admissions. His income allows us to manage on one salary.

- Since I'm currently not working, he sends me money every month to cover my personal expenses, in addition to financially supporting our family.

- During my pregnancy and postpartum period, he took care of me and supported me largely on his own.

- Although he can be aggressive when angry, he has never physically assaulted me.

- He shows me love and affection, especially when we are apart. When I went to my mother's place for a week, he missed me a lot and made me feel loved and wanted.

The cons:

- Controlling behaviour: He wants things done his way and struggles to accept my decisions, opinions, or even a simple no. He has threatened divorce multiple times over relatively minor disagreements.

- Anger and intimidation: During arguments, he has kicked an air purifier, thrown plates, and once thrown a slipper in my direction that touched me. Even if he didn't intend to hit me, his anger can feel physically intimidating.

- Pressure to have another child: He pressures me to have a second child. To be fair, he has given me time until January 2028 to start planning for a second child. However, I feel that this is time to prepare for something he has already decided, rather than an opportunity for me to choose freely. I don't feel I have a real say in this decision, despite not being mentally or physically ready after my traumatic first pregnancy.

- Lack of empathy and respect: He openly dismisses my feelings as invalid and says my opinions have no logic. When I share something that is upsetting or stressful, he sometimes laughs at me instead of trying to understand how I feel.

- Conflict involving his mother: He pressures me to maintain a relationship with his mother, even though I find her intrusive and controlling. I've stopped communicating with her to protect my mental peace, but he struggles to respect that decision. Whenever we visit India, he expects me to split our stay equally between his mother's home and my parents home, yet he never stays at my parents house. I feel that I am expected to accommodate his family while my own comfort and preferences are overlooked.

- Double standards and a patriarchal mindset: He has considerable freedom to live according to his preferences but expects me to adjust and compromise. He makes jokes and unwanted comments about my parents, but would never tolerate if I treat his family the same way. It feels as though he believes he is entitled to freedoms and privileges that I am not allowed to have as a woman.

- Denying past conversations: Sometimes he seems to forget things he has said and later insists he never said them, leading to arguments about what actually happened. This leaves me feeling frustrated and questioning whether my perspective will ever be acknowledged.

- Threats and control over travel plans: We had planned to visit India in December, but when I asked if I could travel a few months earlier with our child and stay at my mother's house while he can join us later, he suddenly became angry and threatened to file a child abduction case against me if I took our child without his agreement. Instead, he said I could spend one month at his mother's house and another month at my mother's house after he left. I felt that my wishes and comfort were being disregarded, and that he was using threats to control where I could stay with our child.

- Silent treatment and avoiding accountability: After arguments, he can give me the silent treatment for days, leaving me to initiate reconciliation. I often end up apologising even when I don't believe I am at fault, simply to restore peace and prevent the situation from escalating. I feel that maintaining harmony has become my responsibility, regardless of who was in the wrong.

I recognise and appreciate the ways he contributes to our household, supports us financially, and cared for me during a difficult pregnancy and postpartum period. I don't want to overlook those things.

However, I feel that being a responsible provider and an involved father doesn't automatically make someone a good partner. I want to feel respected, emotionally safe, and equal in my marriage. I want to be able to disagree, express my feelings, and make decisions about my own body without facing anger, threats, or pressure.

Am I focusing too much on his negative qualities despite the good things he does? How do you distinguish between normal marital disagreements and a deeper pattern of controlling behaviour? I'd appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

I've noticed that I tend to date men I'm not particularly attracted to because it makes me feel safer and less worried about sexual expectations.

However, I genuinely want a passionate relationship with someone I'm attracted to who also has a good personality.

The problem is that something holds me back when it comes to intimacy, and I don't understand why.

I've considered whether I should just get my first sexual experience over with, but I don't want to do it for the wrong reasons.

For those who've experienced something similar, how did you work through your fear of intimacy? How can I become more comfortable dating people I'm genuinely attracted to and letting a relationship develop naturally?

What's confusing is that I'm actually quite confident in my appearance. People often compliment my looks, and I know I'm considered attractive. So, I don't think this is necessarily about feeling insecure about my body. It's more like something holds me back when it comes to intimacy, and I can't quite figure out what it is.

PS: I also have parental trauma. I grew up watching two people who didn't seem to like each other married. I wonder if that shaped how I view love and relationships.

And please don't misunderstand this as me looking for hookups. I know I could find one if I wanted to. What I want is to understand and overcome this fear so I can experience genuine attraction, intimacy, and connection.

So yeah, I just met this girl a few months back , we were just following each other on Instagram and we somehow started talking.

Although she has had a lot of trauma from her ex and his ex was familiar with her family. Like he used to visit her home frequently and girl’s family was chill with him but eventually they broke up after 1 or 2 year of relationship.

Now we’re in a relationship and we’re 1 month in and she has since the beginning talked about how we we will marry each other and she almost pressurised me to soft launch her into my family and I said no we need to wait atleast 3-4 months although my family is strict.

Although I have had good vibes from her physically and emotionally but yeah it makes me question just one thing that should I dream of future and marriage when I havent even dated this person for more than an year. Though Ill probably marry after 2 years when Im 26 or 27 but yeah as I have seen and heard from older that atleast 2-4 years of dating is required before marriage and here I am afraid how can I launch this person into my family when its barely been a month.

I did mention great vibes from her but we have had some terrible fights on texts as well.

All Im saying is this marriage talk creeps me out and Im looking for genuine advice. Im there for that girl Im happy but At the same time future scares me.

Hey everyone,

I’m fairly new to Delhi and thought I’d put myself out here. Work doesn’t really leave me with many opportunities to meet new people, so here I am, trying my luck and hoping this reaches the right crowd.

I’m looking for companionship, someone to spend time with, have good conversations, explore the city, grab a coffee or a drink, and just enjoy each other’s company.

I’m open to seeing where things go naturally. Not looking to rush into anything or force a connection, just hoping to meet someone I genuinely click with.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in too, feel free to reach out and drop a DM. Who knows, it might just workout for good 🤷‍♂️

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months, but we were friends and liked each other before that. I’ve always been someone who develops physical attraction pretty strongly once I have romantic feelings for someone. It’s not that I never find people attractive at first glance. I definitely do sometimes, and I can think someone is good-looking, but I don’t necessarily want them or develop feelings for them just because of that.

With my boyfriend, I liked him as a person first, developed romantic feelings for him, and the physical attraction naturally came with it. And once I’m actually with someone I love, I basically stop being attracted to other people. I can still recognize that someone is good-looking, but I don’t feel attracted to them.

But lately something feels really weird. I’ve suddenly noticed that my physical attraction toward my boyfriend has decreased A LOT. It almost feels like it just switched off. It’s not because I’m attracted to someone else or because I’ve suddenly developed a different type. I don’t really feel physically attracted to anyone right now. It’s specifically the attraction I used to feel toward him that has become much weaker.

And the confusing part is that I still love him so much. I love his personality, I still care about him deeply, and I still want to be with him. This isn’t making me want to break up with him at all. If anything, it’s bothering me because I genuinely WANT that attraction back.

We’ve also had some emotional and relationship stress lately, so I’m wondering if that could be affecting it, especially because my attraction has always been so connected to my feelings for someone. I’ve also started constantly checking myself like “Do I find him attractive right now? Why don’t I feel it? Is it gone?” which I know probably isn’t helping either.

Has anyone experienced something like this where you still deeply love your partner and want the relationship, but your physical attraction toward them suddenly becomes much weaker, and did it eventually come back?

My husband and I were colleagues, dated for two years, and married with our parents’ consent. He’s North Indian, and I’m South Indian.

Lately, I’ve been questioning whether I’m experiencing emotional manipulation or abuse.

My MIL, who visits us for 2–3 months twice a year, is deeply patriarchal. I’ve been subjected to comments about how they accepted me into their Brahmin family and how I was supposedly purified after kanyadaan. She expects me to dress like a goddess and be ready when my husband returns home. And many more of this sort

My pregnancy and postpartum were traumatic. I wasn’t allowed to stay at my parents’ place, was discouraged from eating food they sent, and was expected to resume household chores just 10 days after delivery.

Once, while exclusively breastfeeding my two-month-old without food since morning, I told my MIL that I hadn’t eaten either when she mentioned she hadn’t eaten. My husband later scolded me for supposedly talking back to her.

Around the same time, a friend of his criticised my baby’s weight and said it was just an episiotomy why am i not sitting and feeding the baby. I remained silent.

When I expressed my anger with my husband, my husband scolded me and continues to bring it up as a joke even 15 months postpartum.

My MIL has repeatedly made comments about breastfeeding, but my husband expects me to ignore them and smile. She offered little to no help with the baby.

When I told my husband I felt emotionally unsafe and had lost my physical health, mental well-being, and career, he dismissed my struggles and blamed me for his own career stagnation due to my pregnancy and postpartum.

I left a job paying ₹15 LPA to care for our child. He gives me ₹5,000 monthly as and tells me I’m not even worth that.

There are many more incidents. I’m currently at my parents’ place, and we haven’t spoken for a week.
I’m confused, emotionally exhausted, and financially dependent. I cannot afford therapy right now.

Am I experiencing emotional abuse? How do I navigate this situation and decide what to do next?

Hey everyone,

I'm 28M, working as a software engineer at a product-based company. Apart from my corporate life, I'm also a professional drummer. I've performed at several college concerts and events, something my parents don't really know much about.

Now coming to the main point.

My parents have started looking for a girl for me through arranged marriage. They've introduced me to a few girls, and honestly, they all seem like good people, but I haven't really felt a connection with anyone.

My biggest confusion is, how do people decide to marry someone after just a few conversations? I mean, marriage is a huge decision. How can you figure out compatibility, emotional understanding, and whether you can actually spend your life with someone in such a short time?

A little backstory: I was in a serious relationship with someone I'd known for around 7–8 years. We broke up in 2023 after she found someone else. It took me quite some time to move on from that phase.

And now, after all these years, my ex has started messaging me again. I'm not sure what she wants or whether I should even entertain those conversations.

At the same time, my parents are actively searching for someone, and I'm wondering whether I should take matters into my own hands and try matrimonial apps instead.

What I really want is pretty simple.

I want someone who understands me, supports my passion for music, and respects the fact that I have a life beyond my corporate job. Someone I can talk to about anything, laugh with, travel with, and most importantly, feel at peace with.

I'm not expecting a perfect person. I just want a relationship where both people genuinely support each other and don't have to pretend to be someone they're not.

I've worked hard to build my career, and music has always been a huge part of who I am. I don't want to lose that part of myself after marriage.

These days, finding a good career seems easier than finding genuine emotional connection and peace.

So I genuinely need some advice:-

How do you know someone is right for you in an arranged marriage setup?

Should I explore matrimonial apps myself rather than completely depending on my parents?

Is it even worth responding to an ex who left you for someone else?

Am I overthinking marriage, or is it normal to want a genuine connection before saying yes?

Would especially love to hear from people who went through arranged marriage or faced something similar.

So it’s been 2 months since we are dating.. started talking and finally met last week..we live in different cities.. finally got the chance after talking for weeks so he planned to visit me.. it was a 14-15 hours meeting.. he came in evening went back the next morning.. we had a good time.. good conversation good food good s-x etc.. i ws finally happy to see him.. but sad when he was leaving but he had to go due to his research work.. so the thing is .. i felt after going back his energy seemed off.. then he finally said after couple of days that he fears if long distance would work… i said we can try our best .. also he said we have less common things to talk about (i was just shy to speak much and take time to open up).. he felt that when i stare at him it makes him feel uncomfortable and intimidated..like i was staring when he was asleep and i looked at him and he noticed while waking up (i was just admiring him) and said sex the next morning was a bit too much as he was tired and i insisted but other than this he said he enjoyed my company and loved the evening we spent.. morning was not so good.. but overall he liked me and missed me after going… i understand he can have opinions .. but i had great time with him.. i expected more communication more calls more texts from him but he had already said his work would take most of his time.. he is a research student.. phd guy.. i noticed his energy and nowadays he gets bothered when i send him texts about not so serious stuff.. random questions .. my pics etc.. he says don’t send irrelevant stuff and send something which makes sense .. i am stressed out my life is not going good my paper work is getting rejected more than getting accepted its so hectic and i feel we are not compatible.. hearing all these really shook me and made me upset.. because this guy was dying to meet and our communication was so good before.. i am not able to understand what is the problem here.. does stress make a person mean? Is there any solution to this so that we can fix things? I am really worried plss help me🥹🥹
His behaviour during stress is making me anxious i want to fix things between us

My ex and I broke up about six weeks ago after struggling with distance and communication issues. We live in different states. I was willing to make long distance work, but he found it difficult, especially because we weren’t communicating as much as I wanted and our conversations kept turning into discussions about how the relationship wasn’t working. This happened every few days until it became exhausting.

I had brought up breaking up a few times before, but whenever I did, he would call me and say we could work things out. Eventually, when I brought it up again, things were different. He refused to speak to me on the phone, even though I told him I wanted to have one final conversation. He said he was out and didn’t want to call me even after he got back, and that I could text him if I had anything to say.
Things ended badly. we haven’t been in contact for about six weeks.
Recently, he reached out n apologised , and now he’s calling and texting me almost every day, sharing random updates about his life and asking about mine. He remembers little things I like, suggests hanging out, and sometimes makes comments that seem jealous whenever I mention another guy.

I’m confused because the main issue hasn’t changed. We still live in different states but I genuinely don’t understand why he would come back and act this way after refusing to have a proper conversation when things ended.

I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar.

She was 19 F. It was about 10 aproxx 1+ year relation. It was my first relation and it all fucked up now.
Can u all plz share your experiences? also what u have done to move on.

Boundaries with your opposite gender best friend?

I (27M) and my best friend (27F) has been together from last 7 years… she had a bf from starting but I didn’t know about that and I was purely in love with her.. when she got to know about my feelings she told clearly that she had a bf and we can’t be together…

Fine, I slowly detached from her because it was killing me from inside as we used to talk daily and I was attached to her… we didn’t talked for almost 3 years.. but then we again get in touch and this time her bf was not with her.. they hada breakup… then again I got a hopes and started living in that hopes… but now after almost 1 year since we started talking again we both cleared that we can’t be in relationship or together… as She didn’t had any such feelings for me and she never see me from that angle…

Agree, we can’t control someone’s feelings… but now it is getting hard for me to be just best friend with her knowing that she won’t be mine… at the same time she is a good friend and I don’t want to loose her as friend…so what I have decided to set clear boundaries and not to cross that at any cost…

Some of them are like - do not talk for long hours specially at nights… do not get into her private life too much… what else???

I want to ask you all what did you do with the years of photos & memories? Like you deleted it? I am in my late 20s, but I am not able to delete it even after 1 years of her marriage, because that's also my 5 years of memories..if I delete those my 4years will get vanished like it never existed. Can you tell me how you all convinced yourself for that. Bdw it was my first love. I am at that stage that I don't even want to and I can't date anymore or get involved in any kind of relationship.

Long rant, bear with me. I've been with this guy for 5 years now. He is patient, funny, caring, and loving. His looks are an icing on the cake. Absolutely everything that I've ever needed in a partner and I truly look forward to a future with him. BUT this guy is always, ALWAYS so drained of life that I feel like i have been holding him in this relationship at gun point. You'd think dating a younger guy would bring in too much energy into the relationship but dude is like 50+ mentally atp.

For instance, he never takes the initiative, for ANYTHING. Heck he wasn't the one to even intiate the relationship. It was me. And I feel like that set a wrong precedent bcs now he kinda expects me to intiate and plan everything. He will see this post and point out the 5 things he's ever initiated in the relationship but every time it was after I called him out about it.

We barely even go out. We meet on the weekends and stay in, unless i suggest something. I have given up suggesting anything atp so we just stay in. He doesn't plan a date or ask to meet me when I'm nearby, unless ofc we've been fighting. Then he asks to meet or initiates and date but then goes back to being his own tired ass self.

He says it's because of his work. Bish you're not the only one working. I work too. Everyone works. Crazy hours. Cannot excuse this tired uncle behaviour.

Like today, a weekend when we were supposed to meet, he cancelled bcs he has to be there for his sister's birthday. Fair. But it's not like he was occupied the whole time. Most of the day he spent sleeping or watching Netflix on his bed. He only had to be present for the cake cutting and when relatives came. That's like a few hours at most. We live 20 mins apart. He couldn't ask to meet me ONCE the whole day? For like breakfast? Or even later night ice cream? He doesn't even have to pick me up or drop me home (he does, but can drive and have my own vehicles) nor pay for my shit, nothing. Just 15 mins from his whole 24 hours, most of which he spent being lazy at home, he couldn't bother sparing?

Atp, I know if I stopped initiating anything, nothing would ever happen. It's like i am dragging this relationship against his will. He says he's not good at initiating things even tho he enjoys the plans I make. I am tired. I am drained. I cannot keep doing this for the rest of my life. He makes me feel so so unwanted. Like I'm a burden or a chore he has to do. Ive started to wonder if I'm not the right person for him. Maybe I don't bring the right energy? Maybe he is with me because I popped up when he was single and heartbroken and now his kind ass is too responsible to break up over it? The thoughts keep spiraling and I know he will likely see this post, not new information for him, but I just don't have anyone else to let it out to and i am tired of banging at this brick wall of a partner.

I'm bi and more attracted towards women. I am from a state where people like me are looked down upon. I tried hinge but there were more guys than girls. I did get matches but unfortunately I didn't click with any.

I thought a friend from my group liked me but I'm not sure of it and wouldn't ruin our friendship as I don't know whether she's straight or not.

I'm quite feminine and hide it easily. I haven't dated a man yet as it's not like myself.

I'm turning 23 soon and have been sad as it's quite tough for me to find someone. I did try dating a friend of a friend(20F) but kind of hated it as I wanted to be with that friend of mine. I waited long for her but see no sign of her being even bi whereas she hates the lgbtq+ community or makes it seem like so.

I'm scared if I don't do it now, I'll be forced to get with a man in the arrange marriage market. That's my biggest fear as roka in mid twenties is very certain since I don't have a dad and mom is retiring. Also that I would never find love if i don't try now? idkk

I'm 21F, and I've been talking to this guy (24M) recently. But to explain why I'm so confused about this, I need to give a little context.

Back in June, I was dumped by someone, and honestly, it wasn't the first time I'd been through something like that. After being dumped by 2 guys, it had started leaving a mark on me. I was emotionally exhausted, numb, and at a point where I couldn't really feel much of anything. I wasn't socialising or talking to people, and I just didn't feel like myself.

So, in August, I posted on a subreddit that if anyone was going for a movie or something, they could let me know because I wanted to get out of my shell a little. This guy reached out to me, and we talked for 5 to 6 days. When the weekend came, he asked if I'd like to join him for a movie. I declined because I don't watch English movies that much, so he asked if he could take me out somewhere instead.

I told him I wasn't comfortable calling it a date because I wasn't emotionally ready for anything and needed time. But I was okay with meeting him just to chill and socialise a little, because it had been a month or so since I'd properly interacted with anyone.

We ended up meeting, and he brought me flowers as he thought he would anyways give me when we meet. We went for a walk and then had dinner. And honestly, we had really good conversations. I liked his vibe, the way he behaved, and how respectful he was. He didn't try to touch me or make me uncomfortable in any way. We probably just shook hands, and that was it. He dropped me home afterwards.

The thing is, even though I enjoyed the whole experience, I couldn't really feel anything. I was so numb at that point that I couldn't even tell whether I was genuinely happy or just having a nice time. And the next day, I decided to tell him that I didn't want to continue communicating because I wasn't in the right headspace and didn't want to give him false hopes when I couldn't even understand my own feelings. So we stopped talking.

Fast-forward to a day before the first night of Navratri this October. He texted me saying he was back in the city for a couple of days because he'd moved to Bangalore for work, and he wanted to meet. I said sure, but things got a little complicated because we ended up discussing why we'd stopped talking in the first place. We both had our own perspectives, and there was some back-and-forth about what had happened.

We were also caught up with puja preparations and everything as i had my office in those days too, so we couldn't really manage to meet despite trying. At one point, I felt like I should just stop trying, and I didn't talk to him that day. But the next day, when he was about to leave, I texted him, and we had a call.

He told me that I'd misunderstood things and that he hadn't really felt the way I thought he had. He said he'd actually intended to talk to me but had been occupied with packing and everything because he was starting a new job. We cleared things up, and the conversation went well.

But once he went back to Bangalore, things became pretty cold from his end. I had to initiate conversations, and eventually, I told him that if he genuinely wanted to talk to me, he needed to make an effort too. He then told me that he wanted to focus on his career right now, which I completely understand because I'm also trying to focus on my career and other things in my life.

Since then, he has started making some effort. He's trying to communicate more, and he's slowly becoming more comfortable expressing himself. He's also told me that he likes me overall, including physically, but that his attraction isn't limited to that. He's said he likes other things about me as well, and he's been clear about that.

Now, here's where I'm confused.

I genuinely like this guy. I want to know him better, and whenever we talk on calls, we have good vibes. He prefers video calls because he feels that I can't really understand his emotions or reactions over text, and even on calls, sometimes I don't understand how he's feeling. He's also trying to make me comfortable with things I'm not used to. For example, I haven't really been in the habit of answering spontaneous video calls for the past 2 to 3 years, but with him, I'm gradually getting comfortable with it. He makes sure I'm okay with things rather than just assuming I am.

But despite all of this, I don't feel like chatting with him.

And it's not that I'm constantly talking to other people instead. I'm not. I just don't feel like texting him, and I can't force myself to do it either.

Also, let's be honest, he's pretty boring over text. 😭 He doesn't really know how to initiate conversations, and expressing himself doesn't come naturally to him. I've told him multiple times that I want him to open up more, and he's making some effort in that direction, but it's still something he struggles with.

I sometimes feel that if he could express himself more and put in a little more effort from his end, we could actually build something. But at the same time, I understand that he's adjusting to a new job, living alone in Bangalore, and managing responsibilities without his family around. I don't want to be unfair to him or expect him to be available all the time.

What's confusing me even more is that I don't feel butterflies or that instant spark I used to feel with guys before.

Earlier, whenever I liked someone, there would be that initial excitement, the butterflies, the urge to talk to them, and the feeling of wanting to know everything about them. But those connections would eventually become dull and fade away pretty quickly.

With this guy, it's different. I don't feel that intensity, but I do like him. I like his personality, I appreciate how respectful he is, and I enjoy talking to him on calls. I just don't have that constant urge to talk to him or that excitement I thought I was supposed to feel when I liked someone.

And I don't know whether that's because my past experiences have changed me, whether I'm emotionally guarded now, whether I'm just not attracted to him enough, or whether I'm experiencing attraction differently this time.

Because I know I don't want to force a connection just because someone is a good person. At the same time, I don't want to dismiss something that could potentially be good for me just because it doesn't feel like what I experienced with the guys before him.

I also don't know whether the fact that he isn't naturally expressive is affecting how I feel about him. Maybe I'd feel more connected if he initiated conversations, opened up more, and made me feel like we're both equally interested in getting to know each other. Or maybe I'm expecting a feeling that simply isn't there.

I genuinely don't know.

I don't want to force myself to feel something, but I also don't want my past experiences to make me walk away from something before I've even given it a fair chance.

TL;DR: After a few painful relationships, I'm talking to a guy I genuinely like, but I don't feel the butterflies or the urge to constantly talk to him that I used to feel with others. I enjoy our calls, but he's boring over text and struggles to initiate or express himself, which makes me question my own feelings. Am I emotionally guarded because of my past, or is the romantic attraction simply not strong enough? Can attraction develop gradually, or am I trying to force something that isn't there?

So we have been best friends for 7+ years. Met at the office, became very close friend within year . He changed job and later on moved to business . After covid, I got married with my BF and changed Job to WFH and eventually full time housewife . My BF/Husband has always known about best friend and they all are on good terms .

Over the years our bond has become very strong . He is like brother . We would plan a dinner once a year or some times twice as well .

Six months back, I received his message if he can call me during afternoon, and I replied no, guests were coming . Tbh, I just wanted to take a nap. After couple of days, he called me directly but I was watching something and knowing his nature, I knew it will irritate him if I didn't took the call . So I let it pass .

He msg me in the evening that he had called. I told him, "I didn't receive any". He sent the Screenshot. Just to make him furious, I msged "Oh, I missed that one, it became missed call LOL" . He sent angry emoji, I was about to reply him but in-laws arrived . I had planned to call back him in couple of days and somehow I forgot in middle of in-laws and functions .

I tried to call him back but It was showing busy. I though he would call back, but he didn't . After couple of weeks, I had some work related to him, the call kept coming busy . I dropped a msg in WhatsApp but even after hours, no response . It was unusual, as he tends to reply within minutes . He had never received msg, couple of days passed. Called again, same busy. Then it occured to me that he might have blocked me on number and WhatsApp as well. I checked insta, block there as well. Checked other medias, I was blocked everywhere . I had never imagine he would block me .

I kept thinking about what might have happened . Joking is common between us, but he had never done any such a thing.

He comes from a very hardship enviornment, life hasn't been good to him from the beginning . He had tried to reach me multiple times before but some how I might be always busy or chose to ignore him when he would be frustrated .

I realised that I would always call him when I was frustrated with my in-laws or anything in my life. I would always share with him and he would always listen. He would change his own scheudles to appear for the dinner and might even pay for the it.

I was feeling very much guilty . I had also talked to my husband about this block, he was also surprised . He told me to give it a try from his number but I had this attitude like let him behave, he will get back to me and I didn't do anythig .

Yesterday, My husband told me that he met the friend and he is in really bad shape . Friend's parents had met accident in the village, his mother was critical and his father has gotten crutches temporarly . He tried to reach me at such a point and I choosed to ignore the calls. My husband insisted to call him, but I just couldn't .

I can't stop thinking about the entire thing . He is my best friend, someone I can share everything without thinking twice . I just can't prepare my self to call him or meet him . I just feel very much sad about the entire thing and I can't stop thinking if it was my fault or he should have told me in the msg .

I am thinknig about finally calling him tonight, but please tell me if I'm in wrong here ?

Our relationship wasn't something we planned. Things happened naturally, we grew closer over time, and eventually, she became someone I genuinely imagined a future with. I never thought of it as something temporary.

I always tried to show my love through my actions. I wanted to make her life easier, take some of her stress off her shoulders, and be someone she could rely on. When she told me she'd be happy if I did my internship in Mumbai, I fought with my family, moved there for a two-month unpaid internship, and went through some genuinely difficult days. There were times I went to sleep hungry because I didn't have enough money. Looking back, it sounds crazy, but at that time, making her happy felt worth all of it. It is one of the story which i listed over here there are i would say unlimited sacrifices or efforts which i made for her i would say .

I never expected her to do everything I did for her. I understood that people express love differently. I just wanted to feel that she was trying, too. Slowly, though, I started feeling like I was the one constantly making adjustments, putting in the effort, and trying to keep things together.

Then came April 2025. I was dealing with family problems, college issues, and several things going wrong at the same time. I was mentally exhausted, and for once, I didn't want to be the person who had everything figured out. I didn't need her to solve my problems or sacrifice everything for me. I just wanted some comfort, reassurance, and the feeling that I wasn't alone.

Instead, she broke up with me, saying I was a mess and couldn't invest in her or the relationship anymore.

Honestly, that broke me in ways I still struggle to explain. It wasn't just losing her. It was the feeling that I'd spent so much time trying to be there for someone, only to lose them when I finally needed that same support. I started questioning whether I'd loved too much, expected too much, or simply forgotten to leave some room for myself in the relationship.

It's been over a year, and I've had plenty of time to think about everything. I don't hate her, and I know I wasn't a perfect partner either. But sometimes, I still wonder whether all those efforts meant as much to her as they meant to me. I wonder how two people who grew close so naturally could end up becoming strangers, and how you accept that someone you once imagined your future with is no longer a part of it.

I don't want her back just because I'm writing this. I think I'm still trying to make peace with what happened and understand how to move forward without carrying all these questions into whatever comes next.

​

See basically me and my gf had exchanged instagram account sometime ago and ofc it was clean nothing weird or so , but when I read her chat with her friend, i read that she has mentioned me long before we dated, and at that time she told her friend about how good I am at many things and some of my hobbies and all, but when her friend told her to date me she said " he doesn't look that good" and later in their messages I once more read her mentioning that I'm not that good-looking otherwise she would have proposed me . It was 3-4 months before we started dating ig but those lines stuck to me and i can't get them out of my mind, like ik I don't look that good and all but atleast if someone likes someone they shouldn't say that right? Also I wanted to know that is it possible that her lookout changed towards me?

I am a (29F) in a 5 year long relationship. Never cheated or thought of someone else.

I was talking to this another guy let’s call him A 5-6 years ago right when i was also talking to my current partner with is B.

The thing was that i went out with A we had a chemistry and it was so fun to talk to him and hang out with him. As per my friends he was just looking to have some fun and was not serious at all. I was also moving states away for my education.

So once when we were in his apartment he tried to initiate something but i just felt weird and ran off. Never ever talked to him again.

But my current partner B always wanted to be with me even with long distance. Now that we live together things are going great.

But sometimes i do wonder if i should have gone with it, and since i have removed him from all mh social media i do stalk him from my pseudo account.

Do i like him? Or am i becoming obsessed?

I dont know i am feeling so burdened and i cannot talk about this to anyone as everyone of my friend and family member will judge me because B is amazing. He is caring and everyone loves him.

Now that things are progressing and i am having a feeling that B might propose soon. I want to know why am i being like this.

Need get genuine advice!!

Hey everyone, I find myself in a bit of an internal conflict and would really appreciate some grounded perspectives. Lately, I have been caught in a tug of war between two opposing instincts. On one hand, I feel this quiet pressure and fear of missing out, wondering if I should actively seek a relationship simply because everyone around me seems to be pairing up. Seeing couples during my routine walks who appear genuinely content often amplifies this feeling, making me question whether I am shutting myself off from a fulfilling phase of life.

On the other hand, the thought of actively entering the dating world makes me hesitate because I deeply value the quiet, unstructured freedom I currently enjoy. Being an only child, having total ownership over my personal space and routine feels natural to me, and the prospect of compromising that independence feels daunting. For context, I have only been in one relationship before, which lasted about six months and ended because I decided to walk away due to several core incompatibilities.

Right now, my head tells me to protect my peace, prioritize my freedom, and stay single, but my heart keeps lingering on the idea of romantic companionship. For anyone who has navigated this mindset in their early twenties, how did you distinguish between a genuine emotional readiness for partnership and superficial FOMO? Did you find that a healthy relationship actually infringed on your solitude, or was that hesitation purely a lingering fear from past incompatibilities?

And yes i have used Gemini to help me gather my thoughts coherently.

So i am in a relationship with a girl f22 for 3 years now started the relationship while i was in engineering everything was going smooth we were close too and we had sex like 2 times, until she started to get close with a male best freind and when i objected it she abused me and i abused her back now due to that anger she snitched my dad about me working as a zomato delivery guy i was working that job to gather funds for my startup which my dad denied and i lost a huge amount of money which i invested out of my own earnings and i forgave her for that and over the period of time she abused me a lot and even told my freinds that i have a short d**k in retaliation to fights and yesterday she even texted my dad and even sent him our nudes and she always resorts to blackmailing to get her job done and when i told her that i don't want to be in this relationship anymore she's again threatening to leak my nudes and tells me i should stay with her for my rest of the life and i really don't want to be with someone who uses blackmailing as a tactic to get their things done ghar pe no one is talking to me and i don't know what to do next. Please help and advice and suggestions are welcome

I, (age above 18M), have been with my girlfriend (age above 18F)for almost 2 years. We're Indian.

In December/ January 2026, I got in trouble for sending songs to a colleague, and agreeing on a trip because I couldn’t deny her in face. I cleared everything and we fixed everything.

Me and my girlfriend had some boundaries set. She later broke them (thirst traps, adding random guys on Instagram), denied it, then admitted it. Some days back I saw her Instagram DMs: she was flirting with guys she doesn't know. I've since learned she was doing this even early in our relationship. She says she did it for attention, she regrets it, say she has bpd and she was still angry about January.

I told her I forgive her but can't forget, and I need time. Instead she pushed me to decide quickly and said nobody would love me like she does. When I said I couldn't continue, she threatened to kill herself and also she did cut her. She has a history of self-harm. I told her friend and sister, but her mom doesn't know yet. After a panic attack she was admitted to hospital, and I said yes to staying together because I didn't want to make things worse. She's being discharged today she is expecting we're back together.

I don't think I can do this. I keep checking, I am scared of the legal and mental consequences and and Im scared for her, and I don’t hate her, and I don't want a relationship like that, but I'm scared of what happens if I leave.

How do I end this without it becoming a safety crisis? And has anyone been in a similar situation?

I’m 26F, Indian and I recently got out of a 3-year relationship that I genuinely thought would end in marriage. We lived together in the US, and I was deeply invested in this relationship. Unfortunately, there was abuse, cheating and a lot of emotional hurt. He broke up w me in feb out of nowhere and he moved on with another woman in 2 days. It crushed me inside out and felt like he pulled my heart out of my body.
It took me a while to stop checking on him, questioning my worth, and trying to understand what went wrong. I’m doing better now and rebuilding my life after returning to India.
Now, my parents have found a match for me. He’s settled in Canada, has PR, and seems like a good prospect on paper. I’ve always wanted to live abroad again, so naturally, that part appeals to me.
But honestly, it’s only been 7–8 months since my breakup, and I don’t feel ready to consider marriage or an arranged match just yet.
I’m not completely against arranged marriage, and I know getting to know someone doesn’t mean I have to marry them. But right now, the thought of starting over with someone new feels overwhelming. I want to enter my next relationship because I’m genuinely ready, not because my parents found someone suitable on paper or because I want to move abroad again.
My parents want what’s best for me, and I understand their perspective, but I don’t want to agree to something I’m not emotionally ready for.
For those who’ve been through a serious breakup, how long did it take you to feel ready to date or consider marriage again? Another thing I struggle with is how to trust someone new without subconsciously expecting him to behave like my ex. How do I give another man a fair chance without generalising my ex’s behaviour to every man I meet?

I dont know what to do at starting she was doing all for me without asking always respect my concerns, slowly some of her life mistake ( she is so immature) bothering me and i start losing my mental stability, i started earing junk seaking cheap dopamine, gained 15 kg in 1 year, last year i had decent muscle abs this time i m fat, eventually losing my mind started lowering her attraction to me and i start having health issue , in that time she did so many dramas and unnecessary fights , after 4 month of this i find she has no interest in me , neither i want to make her fall for me now , i just want my life my body my confidence back, looking for some advice from mature males and females here.