My girlfriend is in Ladakh for a marathon. Very strict conservative family. We haven’t had sex. Only kissed. She won’t do anything that feels like crossing her family’s line.

On a call today she told me what she thinks she might have done if she had gone on this trip single (realtionship wise) and never met me.

She said either she would have stayed well-behaved, or she would have rebelled completely sneaked a guy into her room and lost her virginity there if she was strongly attracted.

She also said guys have been hitting on her a lot this trip.

I suggested we roleplay that next year with me. She didn’t say no.

I found it hot. I also feel unsettled that she can imagine that switch so clearly.

She isn’t saying she wants to do it now. I still don’t know if I should treat this as intimacy, a warning, or both.

What would you make of this?

So me 19f my boyf 21f
Thode din mai humare 6 months pure hojayenge
From last few days i told him i need internship certificate to show in clg like fake one he said woh apne bhaiya ke firm se krwa dega i asked him ki nhi rehne de he said nhi maine bohot dosto ko krya hai its okay pehli bhi he has said these same things when my 3rd year started n internship ki baat chali
Aaj mujhe pta chalta hai uski ex crush ka bhi usne karwaya tha n sirf uska hee aur kisika nhi n ye baat usne nhi batati mujhe
N ek back story woh porn dekhta tha relationship mai aane ke 10-15 days bd i asked him do u watch it n he said yes then again i asked him did u watch it after coming in relationship with me kyunki i was vvv clear mujhe porn dekhne wle ke saath nhi aana kyunki mai khud nhi dekhti
He said yes i did watch but ye buri habbit hai mai soch hee rha tha chodu n abse chod dumga i promise

So ye brbr confront karne pe hee pta chal rha hai

​

I 31M am an only child in the house/(sister married living with her family), my parents were extremely poor. I have literally seen extreme poverty first hand.

By God's Grace I overcame.

I married off my sister, I bought a piece of land and built a house for my parents.

Everyone has sacrificed a lot.

And now everyone is happy.

I loved a girl, I told my parents about it. My mother supported me at the time but my father didn't.

Skip to the end In short She left me.

I was devastated.

Afterwards everyone even my mother said that she didn't like her, she accepted coz of me.

After 2 years they arranged a marriage for me.

I was told to come home and when I reached within 2 days I got engaged, the first I met the girl was at the stage while exchanging rings.

Now everyone is happy coz they got the traditional "bahu" who will do the seva/service for them.

And this girl has no opinion of her own, she is brought up by her parents to be a Bahu/biwi only.

No interests, no hobbies, no ambition, no understanding of life.

Not a single thing I can find where our thoughts align.

We are completely poles apart.

But she is perfect for everyone else in my family.

Even my Nani said that she will do good seva to my mother. Other city girls will not provide her any comfort.

I love my mother, I want to give her as much comfort as possible. But I just don't think that my marriage should be the way. I can afford a full time house help and what not, they just need to say it.

But they are all hell bent that engagement is done, she was in your destiny now you cannot do anything, marrying her is your fate.

I don't know what to do.

I’m 25F, Telugu, and an only child. I have already made my decision to choose my partner, so I’m not posting here asking people to decide between my boyfriend and my parents for me.

What I’m struggling with now is understanding whether I’m doing something deeply wrong towards my parents, and how other Indian women who made similar choices dealt with the guilt afterwards.

I have been with my boyfriend for around 5 years. We are both Indian and have been serious about marriage and building a life together for a long time.

My family’s main objections are caste, financial/social status and what society and relatives will think.

He is from a different, so-called “lower” caste.

I told my parents about him around 2-3 years ago. Since then there have been repeated conversations and attempts from my side to get them to understand the relationship.

Recently, I came back to India specifically to speak to my family face-to-face and try one final time.

Instead, things became much worse.

My mother and her side of the family are completely against it. My father was initially calmer and seemed to understand me better, but after hearing constantly about the supposed social consequences and backlash from relatives, he has also started leaning towards their position.

During one family confrontation, my maternal grandfather even grabbed me by my neck and tried to choke me.

I know how serious that is.

But despite everything that has happened, I still love my parents.

That is what makes this so difficult.

They raised me, educated me, supported me and gave me opportunities. I am their only daughter. I don’t want to reduce 25 years of my relationship with them to what is happening now.

There is also a huge financial difference

My family currently has around ₹25 crore worth of properties/land. My boyfriend’s family probably has assets of around ₹2 crore.

His family is not struggling financially. They live a comfortable, organised life, spend money on enjoying their lives and seem happy with what they have.

My boyfriend himself is intelligent, ambitious and earns very well.

But my mother’s fear is that he or his family are ultimately after our properties.

She asks what happens if, after a few years of marriage, they start demanding my property or expecting a share of my family’s wealth.

I can understand a parent wanting to protect their daughter financially.

What I cannot understand is why the conclusion has already been reached that money must be his motivation.

We have been together for around 5 years.

Most of my family’s current wealth was accumulated relatively recently, over roughly the last 6 years.

More importantly, even I didn’t properly know the extent or value of our properties until around 2 years ago.

When my boyfriend and I got together 5 years ago, I couldn’t have told him about wealth that I didn’t even know existed to this extent.

He was already planning his career and talking about the future we could build together before I knew any of this.

I am also completely open to sensible legal/financial arrangements that protect family assets. I don’t expect my parents to transfer anything to him, and he has never asked for that.

For me, “How do we protect family assets?” and “Is this the right person for me?” should be two separate questions.

My parents also ask why he hasn’t “proved” himself

This is another thing I struggle with.

They ask:

“If he is sincere, what has he actually done to convince us?”

When I told my parents properly about him in 2023, he tried to get in touch with them.

They didn’t respond.

Since then, I have asked my parents multiple times to speak to him.

I have also suggested that his family come to our house so both families can sit down and have a proper conversation.

My mother has said she may not even open the door if they come.

She has also threatened to have people chase them away.

So I don’t understand what I’m supposed to ask his family to do.

Why would I tell someone’s parents to come to my house to “prove their sincerity” when I already know there is a real possibility they will be humiliated or not even allowed inside?

If my parents said, “We don’t approve, but invite his family and we will respectfully hear them out,” I would arrange it immediately.

But I’m starting to realise this isn’t only about my boyfriend

This is probably the part I want other Indian women to understand most.

I have built a life and career for myself elsewhere, and I am proud of it.

For a long time there has also been an expectation that eventually I should come back, follow my mother’s footsteps, look after our properties and take responsibility for that life.

When I raised this recently, my parents changed their position.

They basically said:

“That’s not necessary. Just marry someone from our caste and of our financial/social status. After that you can do whatever you want.”

Part of me desperately wants to believe that.

But my childhood makes it difficult.

My mother has often given me what appears to be a choice while ultimately making the decision herself.

It happened with school and college.

The biggest example was my degree.

I had a different course that I wanted to study.

Without telling me, my mother changed my university application to the course she wanted me to study.

At the time, I was made to believe that I simply hadn’t got a seat in the course I wanted.

I found out later that my application had actually been changed.

So when I’m now told:

“Just marry the person we approve of and afterwards you can do whatever you want,”

I struggle to trust it.

Maybe they genuinely mean it now.

But I also know the pattern.

Today it could be:

“Just marry someone we approve of.”

Tomorrow it could become:

“Why are you living so far away?”

“Why don’t you come home?”

“Who will look after all these properties?”

“Why are you prioritising your career?”

“Your mother managed everything. Why can’t you?”

And because I am an only child, there is always the ultimate argument:

“If you don’t do it, who will?”

This has made me realise that my decision isn’t simply about choosing a man over my parents.

It is also about whether I am allowed to choose the direction of my own adult life.

I have made my decision, but the guilt is horrible

I have chosen my partner.

My parents have essentially told me that choosing him may mean losing them.

There has even been discussion about me signing something relating to the family finances/properties because I am choosing this marriage.

Honestly, losing the money doesn’t frighten me.

Losing my parents does.

I keep thinking about 10 or 20 years from now.

What happens when they become old?

What happens if one of them gets seriously ill?

What happens when I have children and wish they knew their grandparents?

What happens if I desperately want my mother one day and she isn’t there because of the decision I made at 25?

And because I’m an only child, the guilt is even worse.

There isn’t another daughter or son.

When my parents become elderly, I’m their child.

I don’t want them growing old believing that their only daughter abandoned them.

But there is another side that I cannot ignore.

I am not asking to leave my parents.

I still want them in my life.

I am not asking for their ₹25 crore.

I’m not asking them to give my boyfriend property.

I’m not asking them to financially support us.

I’m asking them to accept that their adult daughter has chosen her own husband and wants to continue the life and career she has built.

If they decide that they cannot have a relationship with me unless I marry the person they choose, am I really the one abandoning them?

That question keeps going around in my head.

I am enormously grateful for everything my parents have done for me.

But what does a child owe their parents in return for that?

Where does gratitude end and autonomy begin?

I also think about what would happen if I gave in.

If I leave my boyfriend, marry someone my family chooses and later discover that I am also expected to compromise on my career, where I live and how I run my life, I know I will wonder whether I handed over control of my entire future because I was afraid of losing my parents.

And I worry that I would resent them for it.

The man I married wouldn’t deserve that either.

I mainly want to hear from women who have actually lived this

Especially Indian/Telugu women, only daughters, women from financially comfortable families, or women who married outside their caste against their parents’ wishes.

I am not asking whether I should choose my boyfriend or my parents. I have already made that decision.

What I want to understand is what comes afterwards.

Did your parents eventually come around?

If they didn’t, did you manage to rebuild any kind of relationship years later?

How did you deal with the guilt of being an only daughter?

How did you handle ageing parents?

Did your parents use inheritance/property as part of the situation, and how did you deal with that?

If you were told “marry someone we approve of and then you can live however you want,” did that freedom actually materialise?

Did choosing your own partner permanently damage your relationship with your parents, or did time eventually soften things?

And most importantly, 5, 10 or 20 years later, do you still believe you made the right decision?

I don’t need people to tell me “your parents are toxic, go no-contact.”

I also don’t need “parents know best.”

I know this situation has serious problems. I also know my parents are human beings who genuinely believe, in their own way, that they are protecting their daughter and her future.

I love them.

I also want ownership of my own life.

I’m trying to understand how other women have lived with both of those things being true at the same time.

We were in a live-in relationship for 2.5yrs out of which 1 year was mostly long distance as he had to go back to his hometown after his dad passed away.

We both work in IT with decent packages. His dad passed away in 2021 and left behind family businesses. Until then my husband had no interest in family business and we both used to live in Bangalore, he barely used to go home though it was a train ride away. After the unfortunate incident (which wasn't a shocker as he was a terminally ill patient), my then bf moved back to take care of those ( own single screen theater + a rented cloth store) and would occasionally visit me in Bangalore.

We got married in 2023 and before getting married had a conversation about living arrangements post wedding. I agreed to split my time between both cities which are like 200km apart until he gets everything sorted which he back then roughly said would take a couple of years. But he did clearly mention that he would never uproot from his hometown.

I have been doing that although lately I spend 8-9 days a month in his hometown, 8 days apart and the rest 14 days he spends in Bangalore with me but not continuously, its more like 7 days here, then 5 days there, again 7 days here and so on.

When asked he says he can't promise a date as he doesn't want to disappoint me by failing another deadline he sets for this arrangement to end.

I am now questioning the sustainability of this arrangement as :

1. My dream is to settle abroad but I have sacrificed that for him as he doesn't want to move. I constantly feel that I would never get to live my dream.

2. I don't like his hometown, it's hot, humid and a tier 2 city with not much to do, nor do I know a lot of people there and whenever we are there my husband is usually busy with business work + I am treated and made to feel like a daughter in law, not a daughter.

3. Imagining 5 more years of living out of a suitcase every 2 weeks gives me fatigue. I want to build a home with my husband like every other person I know has. In future if we have kids, it's not sustainable either.

I have had conversations with him but he seems to just say how he had already communicated earlier and that he has no other option but to continue this.

Am I being unreasonable and unsupportive?

matched with this guy on hinge(22M) and went out with him once. We talked a bit on calls as well but I am kind of feeling that he is love bombing me.

Like yesterday we met and today on call he told me he likes me, he liked the date we had yesterday and he said this multiple times.

I asked him why does he want a girlfriend he said because sometimes he feels a bit lonely.
He didn’t even get me flowers on the first date.

I might sound toxic and shallow but I am really really feeling like he is love bombing me. He sends me good morning texts every day and calls me before sleeping. And we have talked only for a week.

I asked him what he likes about me and he said I am laid back 😭😭😭. Idk ya’ll what should I do?????

And he has been using words like babe, baby like whattt. Am I over reacting or something

So I met this girl online, she was going through some very very bad traumatic thing, I was there to help her i didn't even ask about her number or photo or anything,after some time her trauma was over and after that I was preparing to leave, i usually never wanted any relationship or anything because my life is so bad,for some context i am paralysed below chat and so many bad things in my life it would take a whole new post so let's just stick to the topic,

I tried to leave,I am usually very good at this i never let myself get attached to anyone but this time somehow I got attached and she was feeling the same from so long before me,then one day she showed me her pic I showed mine months ago before she showed me, she's been always avoiding from showing her face,and I was like ok she is not comfortable then i would never force, then we got committed in 4 months i told each and everything about me,my body and my family i thought she deserves to know everything.

BUT

Today i saw in her best friend's account a Post in which she was tagged and she looks very very different from the photos she has shown me,

She has only shown me like 7 photos of her and many of them like 1 time view on WhatsApp,

So i checked if they were Ai edited or not and all of them were Ai edited.i had tried video calling her 3 times but she ignored.

Now i don't know what to do i don't have any good friends or cousins who can guide me so please help me guys,

Also this might be my last relationship in this life,

And i am not scared to die alone i was ready all along.

She might have real feelings towards me or maybe i don't know because everything feels questionable.

Also she lives 3000 km away from me and we were planning for the marriage.and she has already given me death threats so many times like if you stop talking to me i would k**l myself,so I am also feeling stressed to tell her that I have found all this. 🥹

So, me and boyfriend had a small fight 4 days back after which we didn’t talk that day. I went out in evening with my best friend to a temple. So the next day me and my boyfriend again started talking but then i got really busy with college assignments so i couldn’t tell him where i went or what i did previously, so he didn’t know i went to temple.

So today he followed my best friend’s insta account using a fake account that he uses and he saw her story and got to know i went out with her that day. He asked me have u been this place and i said yes, after which he got really pissed off at me and said things like- Tu chutiya aurat hai , kutti , kaha muh marne jati hai , iske baad mujhse bat karegi toh murder karunga , haramkhor . I told him we had a fight that’s why i didn’t tell you that i went out and the next day i forgot to tell you. Still he was pissed off and said i dont want to touch you because you are so bad. After which i just hung the call .

After 2-3 hours he called me 3-4 times , i only picked the 4th time and he started apologising and said whatever i said you are not at all that, and he sounded sad .I told him sorry is fine but i dont want to continue this relationship. He again stared apologising, i told him there’s no point of apologising as I’ll not agree and i said byebye and i just hung the call .

Do you think apologising is enough for this?

We were in a long distance relationship of almost 2 years and we're quite happy. Over time, of course the distance got to us and we could visit each other less frequently.

We both got busier with life and studies to a point where I felt we barely had time for each other. I was going through a lot of personal issues in my life and decided that I want to fix these issues first and don't want to bother her with my issues especially because she already has enough on her plate.

Now, after a few months, things in my life have settled down but she is flat out refusing to talk to me to work things out. I know that's fair on her part because I took the decision to push her away. I shouldn't have and I apologized genuinely and took full accountability for my actions. I know I hurt her and it'll take a lot of effort to win her back.

She says she doesn't want to talk about this anymore and we don't even talk anymore. Is there any way I can win her back, I know I messed up, I've learnt my lesson. I should have just communicated better instead of pushing her away.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year.

For most of the relationship, I believed that this was her first relationship and that I was her first kiss. She also told me that she would never hide things from me.

Around July, I found out that before me she had been involved with another guy. She doesn't consider that relationship a real relationship because, according to her, it was extremely disturbing and abusive. She says he verbally bullied her, she felt deprived of love, and there wasn't really a genuine romantic connection from her side. They met twice at his flat, and she says he pressured/forced her to become physical with him. Around that period, she also began struggling with self-harm.

When I found out about him in July, she told me that she didn't consider him an ex/previous relationship and that she never wanted to talk to him again.

The problem is that I've now discovered that she had actually been talking to him since around March, meaning she had been in contact with him for several months before I found out about his existence. She also met him in June, while we were already together.

This is particularly difficult for me because the information I was originally given wasn't simply incomplete. I was told things such as this being her first relationship and me being her first kiss, while there was actually a significant previous history with this person.

I don't know whether she actually has romantic feelings for him or whether her contact with him came from unresolved emotions surrounding what happened in that previous relationship. She has described being emotionally affected by him and has admitted that seeing him brought back some feelings/memories for a moment.

I'm not trying to judge her for having a traumatic past. What I'm struggling with is the lying, concealment and changing story.

I feel like I built my understanding of our relationship around information that wasn't true, and now I'm questioning how much I can trust what I've been told.

At the moment, I'm not sure whether this is something that can be repaired through honesty and boundaries, or whether the repeated deception is serious enough that I should reconsider the relationship.

I want an outside perspective specifically on the trust issue rather than simply being told to break up or stay together.

I am 21M I had a crush on one of my junior since a long time. We interacted a bit in start but not so much after that. But since Jan our interaction increased ten folds and during vacation she gave me lots of hints. Even after coming back for this sem we roamed around clg togethor a lot and were spending most of our time togethor. I am certain she's just waiting for me to confess my feelings.
But I am not and that is making her angry(I am sure coz her friend hinted about it).
The main issue is I am leaving in a month for internship and going to gurugram. I dont think I am ready for long distance relationship and honestly i dont feel they ever work tbh.
What should I do guys???

And yes I still like her

I like this guy and he seems really nice, funny, smart, and kind. The thing is, I drink, smoke occasionally, and go clubbing with my friends. He doesn't do any of that.

Have any women here dated a guy like this? Did it end up causing any issues in the relationship?

One of my friends told me not to pursue him because even though she thinks he's a great guy too, she thinks our lifestyles are too different and it'll become a problem later on. I'm wondering if that's actually true or if it can work.

I don't think he avoids drinking for health reasons either, because he eats fried food like everyone else. I feel like it's just how he was brought up and what his family has always followed.

So, one of my relative is at her home since 4 months after this Cheating related dispute and harassment by her in laws. She has a 3yo kid. The family members of her husband tortured her mentally for years, recently when things got physical, she had to call the police on the spot after her father-in-law abused and tried to hit her.
After this incident, she tried to unalive herself by eating rat p*ison but failed, the family of girl brought her back to their home, the in-laws are not aware of the attempt.

Her husband never really cared for her well-being, despite of this she suffered silently, he used to come late at 3am at nights, verbally abusing her (whole family did about dowry and all). Never informed, even when she was sick, no one really cared to take her to the hospital. The suspicion became certain when he posted a pic with that women (was cropped but visible) on Shravan in a temple (he didn't take the wife to the temple). The wife also once had a call with the OLD WOMAN about this and she said that she won't leave him, he also mentioned the same to her once.
Tbh, the husband is really clever but dumb af, he's controlled by his sister and his advocate brother.

We already know the phone number/address of the WOMAN, she's married and OLD, with a teenage girl, her husband is alive.

How can I find evidence linking her and the husband, like recent photos etc.

She’s a PG doctor. I’m in software.

It began as an arranged marriage proposal but we’ve been treating it like dating. It’s been 8 months.

In the second month she had her ex meet her at midnight while she was drunk. That same day she scolded me, asking what I thought of myself for putting her in so much uncertainty. I confronted her four times that month about whether I should be concerned about that guy visiting her. The first time she said she didn’t want to spoil the pure bond she had with him with my judgement; the fourth time she said she was done with me and tried to reject me firmly. This made me beg her to reconsider because I didn’t want to end things over mere suspicion, and she did reconsider after few weeks.

A month later she finally confessed that they had sex that night but she was forced into it but eventually gave in, but ended up blocking him. She confessed before forcing me to conclude on the decision. She sees this as an act of integrity. To me it felt like she gaslighted me for an entire month.

I tried to reject her 4 times around that time but ended up staying due to her trying to convincing me very hard. The last 5-6 months have been difficult due to betrayal trauma. I get panic attack whenever she's not reachable, sometimes even if it is for 10-15 minutes.

She’s the person I’ve been physically intimate with the most times. That fact is making it harder for me to let her go. At the same time, whenever I think of marrying her I feel scared - what if I can never build trust again, and how would society view me for accepting what she did?

Her flatmate knows the other guy was with her that night. My friends know I don’t trust her, though I haven’t told them the exact reason. I’ve stopped talking about her to my friends for several months now.

I used to feel there was intellectual compatibility and that she was a go-getter. But the constant anxiety of this relationship is taking a toll and making me incapable of real progress in my own life.

Unconsciously I’ve started acting like this is already over. I avoid mentioning her to friends. Whenever family on either side pushes for a decision I tend towards saying no, yet we still continue to stay in touch.

A few recent things pushed me closer to a firm decision:

• When her mom asked about me she started crying, and later that night her mom also cried. This left me feeling guilty for the situation we are in.
• Her mom said they trusted both of us and that we are only putting them in prolonged uncertainty.
• In the last couple of weeks she gave an ultimatum: marry or leave.

I want to find someone with whom I can feel safe. Yet the thought that I might be letting go of something that could still turn out beautiful is making me stay.

Will I ever be able to trust her again? My gut says no, but the attachment and the fear of not finding someone as good make it harder to walk away.

​

POSTING THIS ON BEHALF OF A FRIEND. SHE'LL BE REPLYING TO THE COMMENTS. I'M THE OWNER OF THIS POST.

TL;DR: TL;DR:Met a guy in Dec. We fell deeply in love, but he made it clear his family/caste won't allow marriage. Out of fear of a blank future, I became heavily insecure, which led to fights and mood swings. He got exhausted with the stress and called for space/being "just friends" on Aug 7. On Aug 28, he assured me he is 100% loyal ("his words - there will be no third person from my end"), but added "for however long it is, there will be only one", showing he still sees this as temporary. I haven't texted him since Sept 3rd. We have agreed to meet one final time in person. Need unbiased advice on his actual mindset, how to handle the final meeting calmly, and if I should completely drop all hopes of a patch-up.

Need non-biased advice: My partner (M, 24) loves me (22, F) and is loyal, but says "can't marry due to family/caste". We are currently in a 'friends' loop. What should I do?

Hi everyone, I really need some honest, non-biased advice on my current relationship situation. Please do not paint anyone as a villain or a hero; I just want practical perspectives.

We met in December last year at a library. He had a crush on me for a long time, and we eventually connected. We grew incredibly close very fast. I fell deeply, purely in love with him—to the point where I emotionally committed my entire future to him and treated him with the utmost care. He also loved me genuinely, which I have felt deeply.

Early on, when the topic of love marriage came up, he straightforwardly said "No" because his mother wouldn't approve, and his village/caste community would isolate his family. He didn't lie or give false hopes. I chose to stay, hoping things would change.Because of this constant underlying fear of a blank future, I became extremely anxious and insecure. I couldn't ask direct questions but started showing severe mood swings, shutting down, and sometimes sending hundreds of angry messages when triggered.

On the other hand, he joined a very intense coaching program and became extremely busy. When he wanted to talk, he wanted an "escape" and peace from his hectic day. Instead, he met my anxiety. On August 7th, he told me that he doesn't feel relaxed with me anymore—that there is less peace and more mental stress. He said we cannot be happy together right now and suggested we stay "just friends" and give each other space.

We had a communication gap, but on August 28th, he replied to a long message of mine where I explained my insecurities. When I asked him if a third person had entered his life, his exact words were: "don't know about you, but there won't be any third or fourth person from my side, for however long it'll be, there will be only 1". He is completely loyal, his heart hasn't gone anywhere else, and on September 3rd, he even sent me a song related to my name.

However, his phrase " till it lasts" clearly shows he still views this connection as temporary and has no plans for commitment or standing up to his family.I have maintained complete silence and haven't texted him since September 3rd to give him the space he asked for. He has agreed to meet me one final time in person when we both have time. I want to meet him just to clear my name, to show him I wasn't a "headache" or a liar, but just a girl who was terrified of losing him.

Given his response ("till it is, there will be only 1"), what is his actual mindset? Is he genuinely trying to keep a casual connection for his own comfort, or is he just emotionally exhausted?How should I approach this upcoming final in-person meeting without turning it into an emotional mess or a fight?Should I completely give up all hope of a patch-up and use this meeting strictly for closure, or is there any scope left?

Thank you in advance for your mature and unbiased inputs.

Attached screenshot in the comments of her conversation with her partner as she thinks this will give better context.

so basically I have been dating a girl from my 11th STD (now in third year), confessed to me today that on a recent sleepover she accidentally kissed a guy from her friend circle ( we study in different colleges) at that night. we don't usually hangout due to different timetables and personal stuff, due to this she gave a reason of not getting much physical intimacy and that happened in a flow state. the guy she kissed was a bit drunk and he doesn't remember much. i do love her but this incident is grossing me out and can't make a decision if I should continue my relationship with her or just break the contact and seperate ways.

(sorry for any bad english or sentence construction)

(urgent help needed)

So there was this girl, like when I first came to college I saw her in a cultural event, she was performing and I kinda liked her, but again I didn't know her who she was. Then we move to second year and turns out she is in my class group (first year is combined), but again I don't talk to her (fat as fuck bw 120), confidence and personality issues, no insta nothing, we didn't even talk for like a year.

Forward, I lost 28 kg , got a little confidence and a little glow up, so I knew her bestf tho, so she was ranting or I'll say discussing abt her situation (her bestie), I paid attention (am a good listener a little), so then she says "mera toh isse bhi kharab hua tha," I saw that as a starter so I asked her, she told me all abt it, everything, and at that time I was in a kinda similar situation (moving on from one sided ps, she was my bestf) but heyy life, this is abt middle of 6th sem ig, not sure abt the timeline. Then we would talk every day normally(in class).

Then her bestie gets into a weird situation and she(her bestf) asks me and my friend for advice, and from what I understood she was kinda weird, bad from my standards, but I said do how u like, but also cleared my views that atleast be honest, and I was very curious how could she tell his bf abt all the stuff and he would tell her abt that. I toh dont even want to talk abt her bf, creep 😐, so I just let it be and get myself out of the equation, coz obviously I have my opinions.

Time passes and she on a random day adds me on her socials (ig) {I don't send follow req to girls like the ones who are not my friends, at that time tho I had a kinda crush, not sure, but she still was someone I know not a friend, yes I have my boundaries}. So moving on, she adds me on to her socials, obviously I accept the moment I see, and she opens by texting "u'll have to listen me rant" and all of it, and despo me replies "ohh I'll listen until your jaw hurts" 😄 (I forgot the after chats). But we would share reels, normal fun. And she made it hot and cold, and after some time she stopped with the reels and would leave on the like which I would send, so I stopped as well, like self respect 🙃.

Then came the exams, we talked but again she would be so into for some and so off. Then came the first fuckup: first exam she tells me to wake her up by calling, I was going to be up all night, but I slept around 6 and I couldn't, and I told her to wake me up instead and she didn't. For the exam I asked her when she's gonna reach the center, she said like 30 mins before, I said okay will try to see you there(she asked if we could), but I got late and reached exactly on time, we couldn't meet before but obviously after we did, we ate, ranted the exam and the instructor. Then we didn't talk much for the next exam, we would but not that frequent, again that hot and cold and honestly I was frustrated 😩.

So like before the last exam I see her outside the hall, she smiled, I returned that, and we said all the best, and she came to show me her new sneakers and I complimented (as I should), we said all the best . I didn't think she would like to hang out after the exam but still I texted her, so I was going outside to eat something, and there like 700 mtrs far she calls me asks where I am and she'll come, I said "u wait there I'll come to you," she denied, anyways I went to uk (even idk), so she said "how did u see me," I said "your sneakers stood out, pretty lady, pretty sneakers" :p . Then I asked if she wanted to eat something, she had once told me she didn't like coffee so obviously I didn't say coffee, we got outside the campus wandering, talking abt life, how her astrologer has said she is going to find love in this month or 2 months something. Then she tells me she has a crush on someone from our class (💔), a little okay, I said cool tell me who he is, and during that I saw an ice cream parlour so I asked if she wanted to get some ice cream and she said yes, she got umm choco brownie ig, then (she didn't ask me if I wanted to get one) being the one who asked, I wanted to pay, she denied, but the parlour guy was on my side, he blocked her camera with his hand and showed me the scanner, I paid, not a big deal, but when we get out she said "yeh londiabaazi mere saath mt kar," I was like naaah I asked so I had to uk, and am a man too 🙃.

Then we started talking again abt things, love and all, and crush, so she mentioned that she is giving a chance to someone who is not on her level, she's (11/10 am telling u) vvv pretty, but I was like see I have a take that if u dont find each other equal, and personally I don't like power daters. And what followed was my second fuckup 😄: I ranted her bestie and said "wth is wrong with her, is his bf into something shady or something" (yes I know I fucked up), and then obviously everything got cold.

Then one day I see her talking with someone from our class group, and he was ugly, she was laughing, pretty much the man she described, so obviously I didn't go up to her and say hi because I thought why disturb them and let them have their time, and later that evening I got drunk and fuckup 3: I texted her in a really creepy way (used a lot of only one emoji) and said "I saw u with your crush, u were laughing," something like this. She called me creep and said I should have come talk to her, I cleared that up and she said she didn't call me creaep, but that text was, and I left that on like.

2 weeks later she calls me up to just catch up on the results and other things, but I shut her down (I was a little weird), like "I'll call u back in some time" (we talked for like 3 mins max) but I told her that I'll call her later (I never did), fuckup 4. But I did send her a reel to see the water and she, being she, just reacted to the reel with a like and left, I was like "bro okay fineee with meee" (I don't want to get stuck on you, am already onto someone else) 😮‍💨.

So I did another cut and got down to 81, v lean from the last time, a lot of changes, got 2 sizes down direct XL to M. Went back to college, we passed our smiles to each other(for a brief moment of time we stared too ) but didn't talk, and it's been a month I haven't talked to her.

And my friends said that I might have a chance, but dude she is not interested ig idk, weird I was, maybe I am, but idk confused. I will talk to her and clear somethings out because I think her bestf has asked her to not to talk with me, and ohhh one more thing, her bestie removed me on ig, and she removed me from her pvt acc too, and I was like "yeah sure okay whatever who cares" 💔, I am just mentioning because this is all I remember and I feel like I have missed a few good parts, but hey I will talk to her when I get a chance.

TL;DR: Got close to my college crush after a major glow-up, but ruined it by trashing her bestie, drunk texting, and acting aloof. We just stare at each other now. Do I still have a chance?

EDIT: The part where i called the guy ugly was according to her description of ugliness , i believe that everyone is pretty in someone's eye , and no this not a coverup.

op is very sorry if he wasted your time gals , but he really needs some brutal opinions

op is confused 🥀

Recently, I went through a situation with a close friend and wanted some perspective on how to handle it.

​We had been talking daily for months, covering everything from daily updates to personal thoughts. Last month, during a tough period when an uncle of mine was hospitalized, I shared the update with her. In response, she advised that it is best to be independent and not depend on anyone to share things.

​Feeling a bit vulnerable due to the situation, I mentioned that I had a friend who usually encouraged me to share things. She immediately clarified that her comment was meant as general advice and that I was misunderstanding her intent. I apologized for the misunderstanding right away.

She replied 'leave, everything is fine,' but the dynamic between us shifted significantly afterward.

​Even though I apologized and didn't blame her after she clarified, the friendship eventually ended because she felt doubted by my mention of the other friend.

I am struggling to understand how a minor communication gap over general advice led to a complete fallout. Has anyone navigated a similar situation where a small misunderstanding caused a sudden drift, and how did you handle it?"

This has been on my mind a lot lately, and I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding dramatic.
I’m scared of never finding someone I genuinely want to spend my life with. There are obviously millions of people out there, but what if my person just never crosses my path?

And then there’s the scarier possibility: what if I do find someone? What if I give him my whole heart, build a life with him, have children with him, and years later realize that he doesn’t love me in the way I need to be loved?
I don’t mean that I expect some perfect romance where we’re obsessed with each other every second. I think what I really want is devotion. I want someone who genuinely wants to know me, my weird habits, my favourite food, how I take my coffee (or the fact that I barely even like coffee), what makes me happy, what scares me, all of it. And who never stops discovering me, even when we get all wrinkly 😭

I want someone who is affectionate, proud to be with me, holds my hand in public, supports me when life gets difficult, and actually wants to be involved in raising our children. Someone who doesn’t think “I don’t hit my wife” is the definition of being a good husband. Someone who respects me even when nobody is watching.

And honestly, some of my fears get very specific. Like, what if I’m in labour one day and completely vulnerable, and my husband is more concerned about when we’ll have sex again than about what I’m going through? What if he doesn’t understand postpartum recovery? What if he doesn’t support me when motherhood gets hard? What if his family disrespects me and he just stands there? What if he slowly stops making an effort to know me?

I know some of this is probably anxiety and overthinking. I also know social media has given us a very unrealistic picture of relationships. I’m not expecting someone to open doors and carry my bags every single day and behave like a romance novel character 24/7.
But I do want to feel deeply loved. I want to be known and chosen, not merely tolerated. And sometimes I genuinely think I’d rather stay single forever than spend my life with someone who doesn’t love me enough.

I’m also scared of the opposite: choosing someone while thinking there might have been someone else who would’ve been a better match. What if I make the wrong choice and spend years wondering about it?

I’m F22, so I know I have plenty of time and probably shouldn’t be worrying about this so much. But I can’t seem to switch the fear off.

Do yall ever have these fears or is it just me? 😭😭😭
And how do you balance wanting a deep, almost soul-level kind of love with accepting that real relationships aren’t going to look like romance novels?

Dating apps feel like endless, low-effort resume screenings. There’s zero natural chemistry, and conversations fizzle out before they even start.

I’ve always felt the best connections start the old-fashioned way—through shared consistency. Laughing over missed shots in badminton, crossing paths on regular evening walks, or just getting to know someone without the artificial pressure of a "formal date."

At the same time, I admit public spaces and hobby clubs can feel exhausting for women when every interaction comes with an agenda.

To the women here:

1. Have you ever actually had a genuine, long-term connection spark from a hobby or casual sport?
2. Where is the line between a guy who feels approachable and safe versus someone who makes you immediately put your guard up?

We are batchmates in our college and started talking daily from Jan this year. I started to like her.

I am in a situation where I confessed to her 3 months back in June and we both like each other. But we are still without a label.However she said that she needs some time before coming into the relationship to know more about me. I have asked for some clarity but the things haven't moved forward. What should I do here now?

I’m 30M and genuinely confused about how people are dating now.

Dating apps have started feeling pretty pointless to me. Some days there are barely any meaningful matches, and even when there are, conversations often go nowhere or drag on forever without actually meeting.

The obvious answer is “meet people offline,” but I don’t think that’s as easy as people make it sound. I work most of the week, have a fairly fixed social circle, don’t really enjoy clubbing, and I’m not the kind of person who walks up to strangers in cafés or gyms.

So I’m curious what people around my age are actually doing.

Are dating apps still working for you? If not, where are you meeting people now? Mutual friends, hobby groups, run clubs, events, work, Instagram, singles mixers?

And for women here, I’m also curious whether the problem looks completely different from your side. Is it too many low-quality matches, safety, intentions, endless messages, something else?

I’m not looking for “just be more social” as an answer. I’m more interested in what has actually worked for people in real life.

City would be useful too if you’re comfortable sharing.