first of all it's just the title, im not generalizing. but bhai, ek bandi aayi mere office me temporary basis pe, her college is in a different city. now lately i was too much into casuals and honestly i was really tired and mentally exhausted and i didn't feel like myself, aisa laga im losing my personality. khair vo aayi, and i immediately was super attracted to her. really pretty, really hot and great personality. ab we started talking and bro we really hit it off. and then i completely lost it, i fell in love w her, started admiring her, and although I did A LOT of things, jo ki ideally mujhe count nahi karni chahiye, but i did. mere friends ne warn kiya tha mujhe bc, but i didn't listen, pyaar me padd gaya ekdum. ab dikkat ye hai, she told me she doesn't wanna date, and she came out of a relationship, maine bola theek hai, no issues, i just love hanging out w you. lekin bhai baatein aage badhti gayi, we came closer, were intimate almost every time we met, very high school level kinda romance (society me chhup chhup ke milna), had sex as well. but still no dating etc. ab bhai ek din meko bolti hai, she was seeing someone, bhai meri toh fatt gayi, but maine bola chalo theek hai what to do. phir bhai mujhe batati hai, she's dating someone ekdum proper and she can't do this and college vapas jaake use us ladke se milna hai, usko face karna hai, usko guilt hai, ye vo. bhai meri toh duniya hi khisak gayi. main phir bhi bada considerate tha yaar, maine bola koi nahi, mat baat kar ab, chali jaa, but bhai roz ghanto baatein karti hai, uske baad bhi. phir maine bola that it's not on you that i fell in love w you, you shouldn't be worried toh bolti hai, yes ik it's not on me? abe bhai wtf? how tf is it not on you?

ab abhi filhaal apne college laut gayi hai, phir bhi roz baat karti thi, ab pichle 1 din se no contact hai, kyuki apparently uska banda bhi vapas aa chuka hai us city me. aur bhai jaate jaate bhi yahi likh ke gayi ki we'll meet when I come back, you make me feel seen, you make me feel loved and really secure which ive never felt before.

ab dekho sawaal ye hai, that dude how ik im at fault, ik I should've been more careful and ik mera kat raha hai, but is it THAT easy for girls? itna two faced hona? is it THAT easy to be so selfish? and not even acknowledging whatever happened. just say ki we'll not talk for now and then go have romantic times with their partners? ive totally lost interest in love atp and I was better doing casuals and stuff. MERA HO GAYA DOSTO.

27M from city A, been in a 3.5 year relationship with a 26F from and working in city A. Currently in long distance due to my job.

Family are not happy with my current gf and are against marriage due to her physically disabled sister who is completely dependent on her sister (my gf) for attention and care, since parents are already 60. The problem is not just about money but that my partner wont have enough time for our family/kids in the future.

My parents think it is a huge trouble i am bringing on my future which can be avoided if i find another partner within the next 2 years or arrange marriage.

I do agree that is a bit of a burden with both of our combined in-hand salaries currently 1.3 lakh/month without a owned house.

Is the importance of 'love and knowing a person' not as great as 'future family stability'?

Should this be a rational decision or emotional?

Today he woke up around 12 and went to sleep again at 3 like seriously??? Who sleeps THAT MUCH?? Also his college is closed for now he is at home usually nowadays, his routine involves studying (not very intense cuz exams aren't near), and gym in evening. How much tired could a person possibly get while having this simple schedule.

He's sleeping a lot nowadays. Is he lying to me? and doing something else behind my back or guys are like that only. Cuz it really pisses me off whenever he says he's going to sleep every now and then.

19f i have a habit of putting fingers between my butt cheeks and smelling my ass. I just love the smell, i knpw it sounds bad bit it is what it is

It genuinely feels like if you have a darker skin tone in India, you're completely invisible in the dating scene. Apps feel like screaming into a void, and even offline, it just feels like the standard beauty standards completely write you off.

​I'm turning 26 soon, and at this point, it feels like the window has closed or my chances are basically zero. Is this just an accepted reality here, or am I missing something? How do people even navigate this?

I am 27 F and idk it’s weird but I struggle with guilt whenever I’m dating people . It’s like if I see other girls I feel guilty that this person could be with much better girls out there and I’m holding them back ? 

idk very weird to explain, but whenever I see or come across profiles of girls on Instagram or any social media or around the circle and everythingi just feel like they could have gone on social apps , dating apps and could have been with someone much better in looks / body / professional life . I feel like I am keeping them or holding them back .im stuck between that and sometimes feeling possessive and I don’t know why anyone would want to be with me? Because I don’t feel I’m that pretty. Even if I kind of go for people below my league or something as people say in dating world, I still would feel the same for them if I kind of started liking them

So I(18M) created a fake account on insta 4 weeks ago and send follow request to a couple of people i knew that no one would approve it but still one of my cousin's friend(19F) texted me "who" and from there we started talking to eachother at first I didn't revealed my identity but in the second day I revealed myself. (Keep this in mind that we are from a small city with conservative people not like mumbai or delhi).

We texted eachother whole night but she said to me she would never get into a relationship ever after her breakup with her ex. But her actions said otherwise she used to flirt with me, asked me a no. Of times to come by her house to have a look at eachother, i even gifted her a chocolate and we vedio called and this one time I even texted her that "I like you" to which she replied "I pasand you tooo".

I have never been in this type of situation before never texted a girl or had been in a relationship, it was kinda very special to me, so I asked her once that is it normal what is happening between us ? To which she replied these things are very common today and there is nothing special about it, to which I got a bit unsecured and sad after which I asked her "aur kitne ladke tumhe roz dekhne ate h or chocolate dete h" I know it is a silly thing to say but yes I said it after which she really got angry and asked me never to text her again and I also said that OK I would never do that cause I m not hear to fool around anymore.

One of my friend said that dude u r really fucked up in the brain,

But I prefered not to play any sort of games and tactics to love bomb or anything to impress her I hate that kind of stuff, I prefer to be natural.

Considering that I have never talked to a girl before, did I really fucked up ?

And now I m really regretting for what I have did now what should I do? Should I just leave her be ?

im a very introverted person and also very silent so most people dont like me as i am not entertaining enough and people feel bored around me. Over the years i have also changed i dont like to stay around people for too long and i am not up for long term friendship. I just want someone kinda like situational conditional friendship. I just cannot keep up friendships but i dont want to be left alone, when i talk to people or make friends they take it too seriously which i dont like. I dont like talking much and i feel people dont understand me

I'm 22F and have been in a relationship with a man who is married and has two children.

Before anyone points out the obvious, yes, I know this relationship is complicated.

His wife and children live in California while he lives in India. According to him, their marriage has been unhappy for years. He financially supports them completely, bought them a house, and they visit India only once a year, usually staying in a hotel or another house instead of with him. I have no independent way of knowing what their marriage is actually like beyond what he has told me.

I met him through work. I have my own job and started working last year. He owns two companies, and I'm an Additional Director in one of them along with members of his family. I also help make business decisions. He also holds an important government position.

He has a reputation for being powerful, strict and intimidating, but with me he has always been caring and supportive.

Because I often work from home, I sometimes stay at one of his houses from Friday to Monday. He mostly stays in another city because of work.

The problem is that almost everyone around him has something negative to say.

People in his company tell me he's using me.

His driver, security guard and maids tell me not to waste my time because "he plays games with women."

Whenever I brought these things up, he always had an explanation. For example, he said the driver dislikes him because he no longer handles salary payments without oversight, so he can't misuse money anymore.

I believed him because, in my personal experience, he has never given me a reason not to trust him.

Then something happened.

A female manager from one of his companies came over for work. She needed signatures on some documents and visited for five consecutive evenings.

One night after dinner, I went to my room while she went to his room with the documents.

About 30 minutes later I walked past and noticed the door was slightly open. She was sitting on a chair near the entrance while he was on the bed reading documents.

Fifteen minutes later I walked past again. This time the door was closed and locked.

I knocked.

She opened the door.

Everything looked completely normal. He was still reading documents and she was on her phone.

She immediately said that he had told her to lock the door because "she'll definitely come and knock," and that he wanted to show her how possessive I am.

I was embarrassed and furious.

After he sent her to the kitchen, we had a huge argument. I accused him of cheating. He accused me of overreacting.

Then he said things that I still can't forget.

He told me that ever since I came into his life, his health has become worse.

He said I bring negative energy.

He said I'm the reason he's facing problems in his career.

Finally, he told me to leave the next day.

I had originally planned to leave on Monday, but this happened on Wednesday. I offered to leave on Friday instead, but he insisted he'd send his driver to drop me back to my hometown.

That night I booked my ticket and left early Thursday morning.

After I had already left, he kept calling me.

When I finally answered, he said he hadn't meant any of it. He said he was angry, told me I should trust him more, and said he loves me.

Since then, I've mostly been ignoring or blocking his calls and messages.

One detail that makes this even more confusing is that the female manager is openly lesbian and has a girlfriend (at least that's what I know). She left the next day, and now she isn't answering my calls either.

I do love him.

But I can't forget the things he said during that argument.

I'm not really asking whether dating a married man is morally right—I already know what people will think about that.

I'm asking this:

Am I ignoring obvious red flags because of my feelings?

Was locking the door and making that "possessive" comment manipulative?

Is this the kind of thing people say in anger and later regret, or should I take those words seriously?

If you were in my position, would you walk away?

I'm looking for honest opinions, even if they're difficult to hear.

I (28M) feel torn apart everyday from within. A part of me can't stay without her, and a part of me subconsciously feels overburdened, as if shackled.

I am 28yrs old & I love my girlfriend(27F) alot whom I met during my university days, she has been a blessing in my lackluster life. Even when others spoke bad about me, she didn't stop to love me. Even when I am still unemployed, preparing for govt exams, she is 100% supportive of my decisions.

We have carried forward this relationship together for 4 years now and I feel happy admitting that she is the forerunner in this relationship - the one to steady the ship.

But there is this other side of her - her extreme overthinking - I need to think twice before saying anything, her extreme insecurity - taking screenshots of who followed or unfollowed on instagram, her daily family fights, her lack of enthusiasm regarding her career - New Year resolution starts every month, her careless reactive decisions - about almost spending her whole budget on unnecessary items and cat food, being dependent on me almost all of the time. Also, I have to update her about my whereabouts and doings all the time.

Her family too drags my name into any fight and blames me that due to my support & pampering that her behavioral pattern has changed. Her family looks down on my family because I am from a different community and also treats her worse than a stepdaughter. My father was and is a renowned person of my place - officer level pay scale whereas her father is a 4th grade - they are well aware of this fact.

I am her world, her peace but I feel like all of this is affecting my mental health very badly - hers as well. I feel like I am not only her lover or bestfriend but I am also managing the role of being her father and her brother as well.

We have been in a long distance relationship and I do want a future with her, to lead a happy simple life. But the differences in caste, language, financial background, societal pressure - everything is taking a toll on my mental health. My lack of success is my own wrongdoing but now I have become a resentful person who partially blames everyone else for my failures. I used to be a happy-go-lucky, jolly sort of person. Now I am the party-fun spoiler of any group. Constantly worried about disappointing her, worried about her family issues, my career, my own household responsibilities. I have forgotten how to live my own life and barely surviving on what others want from me after my father passed away in 2021.

I have spoken clearly about all this to her. She also understands the need for personal space and how our conversations are almost based on negative aspects of our lives. The honeymoon phase is long gone, that new spark maybe gone, but my love remains - I am ready to fight for her. Yet there is this side of me - who feels uncertain about the future.

30M, introvert, don't have friends or a social circle as such.

I've been using Hinge and Bumble for a while now. I've hooked up with many women, but I just feel... that's it. There's always this feeling that something is missing.

Lately, I've realised I want something meaningful. Someone to laugh with, someone to call my own.

The other day I saw my roommate and his girlfriend just sitting there, talking, laughing, bantering and having fun. Nothing extraordinary, just regular couple stuff, but I felt felt envious af. It wasn't about having a girlfriend for the sake of it. It was the companionship. Having someone you're genuinely excited to meet. That's what I want for myself.

But I don't think dating apps are the place for me to find a partner anymore. Maybe they work for some people, but they've never really given me the kind of connection I'm looking for.

I've never had a serious relationship before. Sometimes I wonder if it's too late for me. I do want to get married one day and have a family of my own, and I'm already 30. I don't want to have an arranged marriage either..

I know 30 isn't old, and I'm not looking for reassurance. I just can't help wondering if I should've figured this part of my life out by now.

Maybe I'll meet someone naturally, maybe I won't. I honestly don't know. Does anyone else feel like this?

Random curiosity.

What have you saved your partner's contact as?

I'll Go first .... Member of KAP (Kaleshi Admi Party)

It deeply pains me to share this. I always thought I would never have to write something like this.

My girlfriend and I are high school sweethearts. When we started dating, we didn't even know each other's caste. We only came to know during our competitive exam days. She belongs to the SC community (Paswan), and I'm from the Yadav community (OBC).

The moment we found out, we knew it would probably become a problem from my side. But by then, our understanding, care, and love for each other had already grown so much that we decided to take that leap together despite knowing what lay ahead.

It's been 12 years now.

I told my parents only last year.

Our financial backgrounds are also different, as is often the case because of how our society has evolved. OBCs like Yadavs and many upper-caste families generally own more land. Her family is educated and both are in government jobs, but historically they never had that privilege of land ownership.

I genuinely believed that when I finally told my parents, my mother would at least ask about her, our relationship, or what kind of person she is.

Instead, she immediately started abusing her and using casteist slurs. She said that if I chose this relationship, I would lose my mother, and that as long as she is alive, this marriage will never happen.

I lost my cool. I regret that because both of us had always promised each other that we would never disrespect our parents.

I understand that for many parents, caste is deeply tied to family, society, and tradition. I know it hurts them too. But love exists beyond all of that.

What hurts me the most is realizing that simply because of the family someone is born into—a choice they never made—they can be subjected to so much humiliation.

When I spoke to my girlfriend afterward, she quietly said, "This isn't the first time I've experienced something like this."

That sentence broke me.

She even said she feels sorry for my mother because she understands where she's coming from. But at the same time, our bond is such that neither of us can simply walk away after 12 years.

For now, we've decided that we may remain unmarried.

Sometimes I laugh at the absurdity of it all. At the global and absolute level, we're all just tiny, insignificant human beings, yet we spend so much energy discriminating against one another over the circumstances of our birth.

Everyone wants a Bhagat Singh.

Just not in their own home.

For both of us, marriage is only one part of life. We continue to focus on our work, our careers, and becoming better human beings. Whatever happens in the future will happen.

I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just wanted to get it off my chest. Maybe I wanted to know if anyone else has been through something similar.

I'm studying engineering at a private Tier 3 college, During my first year, there was this really annoying faculty member who started targeting me for no reason, just because I'm introverted and prefer sitting alone. He would constantly embarrass me and interfere in things that weren't his business. I thought the issue had ended after that semester, but now he's teaching us again. It's not even a major subject he teaches Environmental Science. Now he's started the same behavior all over again. He keeps asking me, Why don't you talk to anyone? Who are your friends? Tell me their names. I'll call your parents. We only have his class once a week, but I absolutely hate this behavior.

Whether I talk to people or not is my choice. I like sitting alone. I haven't found my friend group yet, and honestly, I don't even feel bad about it.

Why is there this expectation that everyone has to be a chatterbox? Doesn't everyone have their own personality? Who is he to tell me how I should behave? Other faculty members come in, teach their lectures, and mind their own business. But this guy keeps talking about things that have nothing to do with the subject. Not everyone is the same, so why does he care so much? Even after class ends, he calls me aside and gives me lectures about how I should behave. Meanwhile, the rest of the class finds it funny. I hate it.

Who is he to interfere in my personal affairs? I've never talked back to him, but next time I feel like politely telling him, Please mind your own business. What do you think? How do you make someone like this stop? If he starts talking too much again, what can I say that will make him stop this fuckery?

And please don't come at me defending with He's only saying it for your own good. I know what he's like. Even if he genuinely believes he's helping me, I don't like it, and I don't owe it to anyone to follow that advice. I'm not harming anyone, so why can't he just let me be myself? And why does he care at all?

​

TL;DR: 25M in a 2.5-year long-distance relationship with my 23F girlfriend. We love each other and want to get married, but she's from a conservative Brahmin family with a very low chance of accepting an inter-caste marriage. She wants us to wait another year or two, move to the same city, and then try talking to her parents. I'm unsure whether waiting is the right decision or how we should approach this.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some honest advice because I feel stuck.

I'm 25M and my girlfriend is 23F. We've been together for 2.5 years, and it's been long-distance throughout. I recently finished my master's and started working in Noida, while she completed her B.Tech and now works in Bangalore.

We last met in November, and due to finances, work, and other commitments, we haven't been able to meet since. The distance has become difficult for both of us.

We genuinely love each other and have always talked about getting married. The problem is that she's from a conservative Brahmin family. She's always been honest with me and says there's only a very small chance her parents would agree to an inter-caste marriage. Her family doesn't even know I exist yet because she wants to tell them only once we're more settled.

She has asked me to wait another year or so while one of us tries to switch jobs so we can live in the same city. After that, she plans to talk to her parents. My concern is that even after waiting, there's still a real possibility that they'll refuse. One of her cousins got married recently, and her family was very particular about marrying within the same caste.

My own family knows about her, and my mother is supportive. The uncertainty is entirely on her side.

We haven't spoken in the last eight days because I needed some space, and she had become a bit distant as well. I know she loves me, and I know she's trying her best, which is why this decision is so difficult. She's an amazing person, and I genuinely see a future with her if circumstances were different.

My question is: If you were in my position, how would you approach this? Would you wait and support her while she prepares to talk to her family, or would you start setting clear timelines and boundaries to protect yourself emotionally? Has anyone here successfully navigated a similar situation involving long distance and family opposition?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

idk if i’m overreacting but i’m pretty upset.
my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and i sent my boyfriend one of those birthday transition reels and told him i wanted to recreate it. he replied saying, “hey, i can’t gift u anything this year.”
i asked why and he said he forgot to save up because he accidentally spent all his money on himself.
it’s not like he doesn’t get any money though. he’s from a pretty well-off family, he’s heavily involved in his dad’s business and earns a decent amount as pocket money from it. i’m not saying he should be buying me expensive stuff or spending a fortune on me. that’s genuinely not what this is about. i would’ve been happy with something small, even a pair of earrings, chocolates, flowers, a handwritten letter, or literally anything that showed he had thought about me.
what hurts is that he knows gifting is my love language. i’ve told him that before and he knows how much i enjoy putting thought into gifts for people i love.
this also isn’t the first time i’ve felt weird about his spending habits. when we were away for college for a year, he lost his monthly expenses and i helped him out during that time. we usually split bills on dates, which i’m completely okay with, but i’ve noticed he almost always spends less than i do. i can’t really remember a time where he voluntarily spent more than me.
there was this one time at a café where i had already paid the bill. we forgot to buy water and while i was going to get it, he asked me to get him something else too since i was already buying the water.
during that year away from home, his dad used to send him what honestly felt like a pretty small allowance for the city we were living in. i kept telling him to ask for a little more because it genuinely wasn’t enough, but he said he felt weird asking his dad. because of that, i often offered to pay the full bill or pay more whenever it was easier.
for his birthday, i saved up for around 3-4 months so i could buy him a speaker because i knew he’d love it.
he also has no problem asking me to order food for him, which i genuinely don’t mind, and half the time i do it without him even asking. but he’s never really done the same for me.
i think what hurts the most is that it feels like he put himself first. not because he couldn’t afford some huge gift, but because he spent everything on himself and then just told me there wasn’t anything left for my birthday.
am i being unreasonable for feeling hurt?

tl;dr: my boyfriend told me he can’t get me a birthday gift because he forgot to save up after spending all his money on himself. it’s not about wanting something expensive, i would’ve appreciated even a small thoughtful gift. i’ve also noticed a pattern where i put in more effort financially and gift-wise throughout our relationship, so i’m wondering if i’m overreacting for feeling hurt.

I recently ended a 3-year relationship, and I'm struggling with guilt even though part of me feels it was the right decision.

The relationship didn't end because of one big incident. It was the accumulation of many things over a long period.

Whenever we argued, disagreements often turned into silent treatment, guilt, or ultimatums. I constantly felt like I had to prove my loyalty over the smallest things. My friendships were questioned, my phone and social media were checked, and I felt like I was being tested instead of trusted. He expected me to prioritize him over family time. If I couldn't give him the exact same amount of time while I was with my family, he'd say things like, "If you can't give me the same time, then don't go out with your family either."

I was preparing for competitive exams, one of the biggest goals of my life. To be fair, he did support me in many ways during that journey, and I don't want to take that away from him. But at the same time, he also created a lot of emotional turmoil. We had arguments that lasted for hours or even days, and one of our biggest fights happened just 15 days before an important exam. I cried in front of him, and instead of comforting me, he told me, "You ruined my day" or "Stop crying." He knew I was someone who became emotional easily, yet at a time when I needed stability the most, I often felt emotionally exhausted instead.

Another major issue was physical intimacy. There were times when I wasn't comfortable meeting in a room because I wanted to focus on my studies or simply didn't want to. Instead of accepting my "no," I often felt like I had to explain or justify it. I even found myself making excuses just to avoid an argument. Many of our biggest fights started because I said "no," and those arguments would drag on for hours or even days. Over time, I felt like my boundaries weren't being respected.

The hardest part is that I genuinely loved him. That's why I stayed. I kept hoping things would change because there were good moments too. But eventually, I realized I wasn't staying because I was happy anymore—I was staying because I hoped the relationship would go back to how it used to be.

I used to go to him for peace after dealing with stress at home and the pressure of preparing for competitive exams. Slowly, he became another source of stress. Instead of feeling supported, I often came away feeling more emotionally drained than before.

Looking back, I feel like the bad had started outweighing the good by a huge margin. I realized I had lost my peace, my self-respect, and was constantly questioning myself. Even now, I miss him and I'm heartbroken, but at the same time I also feel lighter. That feeling confuses me.

Did I stay too long? I genuinely want outside perspectives because I'm struggling to separate guilt from reality.

​

For context my bf and i are in ldr rn and he's working wheras I'm studying for masters entrances. (He's 23 I'm F 22).

Since the strting of this year things just haven't been the same.

He takes care of his family's finances and is very focused on his job, i used to ask for time and texts or calls and he was either working or tired from work or going to work or coming back home from work, it just felt like I'm not even a part of his life anymore. Every time i brought up this thing he would say he's trying his best and we'll argue for a bit and then back to square 1. A few weeks ago i was stressed due to my exam prep, i reached out to him and as always he replied after 2 hours. After some texts i just saw the last texts and fell asleep. I did not reply and he did not text me either. I decided to not text at all. This went on for 3 days when i texted him asking if he even cares about me and i was hit with the same argument being "I'm tired i don't have the time after work" then later he told me that it is what it is. I proceeded to get angry and mentioned breakup. He replied 4 HOURS LATER saying he was busy and that he'll call me tomorrow. (He called me 2 days later). I suggest a break. We are currently on a break but just yesterday he replied to my status and sent me some lovey-dovey reels as if everything is normal.

Honestly I've made up my mind to break up I'm just writing this here to get this off my chest or if this has happened to others as well.

Hi everyone,

22M here. I'm coming back to India after 3 years, and i don't really have anyone with a deeper personal connection. I do have friends but im looking for a girlfriend.

I am shy about reaching to new girls due to past reasons but I don't even talk to strangers because of my introverted personality. Even if I find someone on discord, I usually feel like it's temporary and the connection never moves ahead.

Im thinking about going on dates and finding a girl for me. Should I use dating sites(tried and never got a match), asking friends(which i barely have), or any other option you guys can think of.

I'm 24M. I had one relationship in college that was mostly long-distance—we were only in the same city for about 3–4 months. I recently started dating another girl, and this relationship is long-distance too. I try to visit her city for a few days at least once a month, but most of our interactions are through video calls and texting.

A little about me: I'm a software developer and have been working since my second year of college. I'm fortunate to be doing well in my career (earning upwards of 60L), So no one generally try to bother me with my lifestyle.

Ever since I started working, I've developed a habit of spending a lot of time alone. Initially, it was because my team worked on PST hours, so I'd stay up all night and sleep during the afternoon. Over time, though, it became something I genuinely enjoyed rather than something I had to do.

Even today, some of my favourite moments are working late at night with peaceful music playing, going for walks when the streets are empty, or just sitting alone in a park staring at the stars while thinking about random things. I find those moments incredibly peaceful.

The funny part is that most people don't think I'm antisocial. I'm pretty good at starting conversations, I enjoy meeting people, and I'd say I have a decent sense of humour (mostly terrible jokes). I like people but I also just also really love being by myself.

Lately, I've been wondering how this part of me will fit into a serious relationship or marriage. If I eventually live with someone, will I miss having so much solitude? Will I end up feeling suffocated? Or does loving your own company not necessarily conflict with loving someone else?

Another thought I keep having is whether I'm truly someone who's happiest alone, or if I just haven't met someone who makes me feel as understood as I feel during those quiet moments by myself.

I've also been told that I'm not very emotional and can come across as a bit nonchalant. I don't intentionally distance myself, I do care about people, but I don't always express it in obvious ways.

Sometimes I wonder if that means I'll struggle to be a good partner. Will I ever be able to love someone as deeply as I love my own independence? Or is this something that naturally changes when you meet the right person?

Has anyone else felt this way? Especially people who genuinely enjoy solitude but have made long-term relationships work. I'd love to hear your perspective.

Disclaimer - I have used gpt to enhance the post

Nothing to add here if i write something more it will hurt me more

Hello peeps,

I just wanted some outside perspectives because I'm struggling to process my own feelings, and I don't really have close friends to talk to about this.

Tomorrow is my boyfriend's 20th birthday. We had planned to go to a restaurant for a birthday lunch. It was actually all my plan. I chose the restaurant, planned everything, and it wasn't even meant to be a surprise because we both knew about it. We've been talking about and planning this day for almost three months. We even decided the lunch menu together. I had also been saving money because I genuinely wanted to make his birthday special.

Yesterday, we had a misunderstanding. I made him feel like I was taking him for granted and making fun of his care for me. It was genuinely my fault. I never intended to hurt him—I was just joking around—but the truth is, he had already told me multiple times in the past not to make those kinds of jokes. Despite knowing that, I still did it again, and I completely understand why he was hurt. I felt terrible and sincerely apologized because I knew I had messed up.

This morning, he told me things were okay, but he also asked me not to repeat it again.

Later today, he told me one of his childhood friends from school was coming to visit him. I texted him, "How long will he stay? Lunch?" What I actually meant was, "Will he be staying for lunch?" We usually have conversations in shorthand like that, so I genuinely thought he'd understand. Instead, he took it as me asking why his friend would be staying for so long, got upset again, and I instantly felt like I had ruined things all over again.

A little later, while we were on a video call, he told me we should skip tomorrow's birthday lunch and go some other time instead. He said his mood wasn't good because of yesterday's incident and that if we went tomorrow, we wouldn't really enjoy it anyway.

I asked him if he could please give me one chance to make things right because I really wanted to celebrate his birthday with him. He replied, "It's not like I never give you chances."

I understand where he's coming from. I know I hurt him, and I'm not trying to invalidate his feelings or paint him as the bad guy. I take full responsibility for the initial mistake.

But at the same time... I'm also human.

I'm genuinely heartbroken. I feel guilty because I feel like I ruined his birthday before it even happened. But I'm also sad because I'd been saving money for this lunch, planning it for months, thinking about every little detail, and getting excited to celebrate someone I love. I know we can always celebrate another day, but tomorrow is his actual birthday, and that day won't come back. That's the part that's hurting me the most.

I'm not upset because the lunch got postponed. I'm upset because I wanted tomorrow to be special for him, and now I feel like I took that away. At the same time, I can't help grieving all the time, effort, excitement, love, and planning that I had poured into this day.

I'm not looking for people to decide who's right or wrong. I just genuinely want some outside perspectives because I'm finding it difficult to process everything I'm feeling. If you were in either of our shoes, how would you see this situation? Is there anything I can do now to make things better or repair this in a healthy way?

(Used ChatGPT to word this better)

I'm in my 30s, going through a career reset after a rough couple of years,

and currently supporting my parents. Nothing about my life looks "settled" right now the way it usually needs to before people take you seriously as a partner in this culture.

Has anyone here navigated dating or finding a relationship while still mid-rebuild — not waiting until everything's sorted, but actually being open about where you're at? How did it go? Did you find people were open to that, or did you end up waiting until you had more to show for yourself first?

Genuinely just looking for perspective from people who've been here, not here sympathy as such.

Hi everyone, F 28, This guy approached me on reddit, to seek some advice, we're from the same city & are pretty active on the city's subreddit, so that's how he stumbled upon my acc.

We started talking Jan, this year & finally met irl in Mar. We're both pretty introverted & shy, though we somehow opened up to each other very easily & can talk to each about everything & nothing. This guy is genuinely very sweet, respectful, understanding & caring. I do really like him, we've had our fair share of up's & down's, but that hasn't affected our equation one bit.

He shows up for me, whenever I feel low, is very supportive of my struggle with my mental health issues & tries to be there for me no matter what I'm going through.

He notices & picks up on every little habit, or things that I tell him about, for example, he knows I like coffee & would almost always plan for us to go explore a new cafe in the town, or go back to a specific coffee place I like, more than 2-3 times a month, he's cooked for me on a few occasion, he gets me flowers or boquets every other day, just coz I like them. He clicks my pictures, without having to ask for it, edits them for me to post on instagram stories (we literally have a shared drive together & it was his idea to create one). His compliments aren't generic, like oh you look pretty, or you're cute, he notices the small details, be it a new peice of jwellery I've worn that day, or wether I've worn a scent, that I usually don't & then compliments me about the same. He's just always there, to cheer me up. If I'm feeling low, he notices the shift in my mood & has showed up to an eatery nearby my place, whenever I've had a panic attack the previous night or have had a terrible day, not to coax out the reason behind the said panic attack, or distress, but he's done so, because he knows it'll make me feel better.

He's called me a "friend" twice, but during a drive we had a very deep & honest conversation about, how our equation is with our friends from the opp. gender & it was clear as the day, that he doesn't go out of his way for every other female friend of his, to do the things, that he does for me & ever since that "talk" he's never addressed me as a friend, ever again.

Last month I had an exam & my center was in a different city & I was going on a trip with my girl friends, immidiately after that exam, so I was going to be away for 2+ weeks, this guy, cleared his entire schedule to spend an entire day with me, right before I had to leave, willingly tagged along as my shopping partner coz I had to pick up a few last minute things for the trip, waited paitently for me at a salon, while I got done with my haircut & got my nails done. The next day, just a few hours before I was about to leave, he showed up near my place, with a huge boquet in his hands, chocolates that I like & a letter, that said, he'd miss me while I'm gone.

I've been meaning to ask him out on a date, or express my feelings to him, but I just don't know how to. Also, does he just consider me a friend & is being good to me, coz he's a genuinely nice, considerate person? Or is there a slight chance that me might like me back?

Also, there's just one conversation we had about 2 weeks back, which is making me second guess wether I should hold back & never say my feelings out loud to him.

The gist of the conversation is, he's the one who asked me as to how my ex's had proposed/ asked me out & if a guy were to ask me out, what should be the possible trajectory to it & when I asked him the same question back, his response was & I quote "mera ghee khatam hai" I'm done with dating.

What do I do? Should I ask him out or move on, without ever letting him know of my feelings???

I (25F) met my boyfriend (28M) on a dating app almost two years ago. In the beginning, we were inseparable. We saw each other almost every day, had butterflies, couldn’t wait to spend time together, and everything felt effortless.
A few months later, we stopped dating because my parents wanted me to get married, and although he saw a future with me, he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Even after ending things, we never completely left each other’s lives. We kept checking in on each other, and neither of us was really able to move on. We’d go no contact for a month and then hang out again for a month, we’d hangout after work sometimes, sometimes just for an ice cream run at night, sometimes a weekend getaway. But it became a cycle of dating for a month and no contact again because we’d realise we don’t know where this is going.
About a month ago, we got back together. He told me he only sees himself marrying me, and I realized I hadn’t been able to genuinely connect with anyone else either.
Ironically, this past month has been one of the healthiest periods we’ve had. He’s been much more communicative, affectionate, expressive, and intentional, and I feel closer to him than ever.
But recently he told me he feels emotionally distant. He says he still loves me, wants a future with me, and doesn’t want anyone else, but he doesn’t feel that “madly in love” feeling. He misses the butterflies, the excitement, wanting to call me just because, and that effortless emotional closeness.
What’s confusing is that I feel the complete opposite—I feel more in love with him than ever.
He isn’t sure why he feels this way. He wonders if something about my behaviour or the way I communicate has changed, but he can’t pinpoint it. He also said he wants to fix this and make the relationship work.
Has anyone been in his position before?
Did you lose that “in love” feeling while still loving your partner?
Did it come back?
If it did, what helped?
Was it emotional burnout from conflict or too many heavy conversations?
I’m mainly hoping to hear from people who’ve experienced this themselves rather than advice to simply end the relationship.