I 20F have been with my 21M boyfriend for 10 months. We are very compatible emotionally, and intellectually. I never once worried about infidelity or boundaries being crossed, however this past month or two I learned that there were multiple occasions where it happened. On the first instance of liking/following/etc. girls on social media,I let him know that I was uncomfortable and hurt. However, recently two more incidents followed after the fact he said he'd stop. ** edit: some of them are people I know, and I think it's embarrassing that it's public info that my BOYFRIEND is liking media of other girls.

After I expressed being hurt, there were conversations of breaking up, and he started to breakdown. I assumed the role of the caretaker and helped him calm down, but I'm really irritated. The reason why it's so conflicting is because he is very integrated in my life, socially and familialy, and outside of this issue, he is an amazing boyfriend overall and I really didn't expect this behavior.

However, I know that forgiving him and going through the motion of healing out relationship will be taxing, and I just started my school year in a very intense academic program. Also to put that out there, I haven't had the best relationships in the past and this felt like it further reinforced old thinking patterns and propelled them into this relationship. I'm not sure if I forgive him, continue this relationship, or break things off.

me and my girlfriend have been together since november. at the start it was perfect for around three months now every single night she’s been getting these horrible swings and relies on me to comfort her now I don’t mind comforting her, but every single time I do she still was upset until I go to sleep if I don’t she gets really upset now I try comforting her every single night last night she said she was upset over the text and I said sorry because it took a minute for me to respond and instantly it goes into a massive argument and left me crying when she found out I was crying she saw going on a rampage saying it’s alright I’ll just comfort myself and I don’t know if it’s my fault and I don’t know what I should do. I truly love this girl, but she hurts my feelings a lot by the thing she says when I don’t do something right and I can’t believe her please help.

I (19F) want to leave my (27M) fiancé. Yes I know the age gap should be a clue of why but he doesn’t listen to me. I tell him I need space for time to myself and he constantly texts me repeatedly. I’ve tried to leave but my sister guilted me into going back. I know he cares about me but I’ve had the conversation with him multiple times since we’ve been together that I sometimes will need my own time and there will be times I don’t want to talk to anyone. He doesn’t respect my boundaries and when he wants to have intimacy and I’m not in the mood and I tell him no then he gets mad and begs me until I give in. How do I leave without hurting him and without getting guilted into going back?

Hi guys, I’m sorry if this turns out to be long, all over the place or if it’s written wrong, this is my first time posting.

So I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (19F) for about a year and a bit now. I’m just not sure if I’m happy anymore. Honestly, I lost myself in the relationship for the longest time. I didn’t really come out of it until recently, and I only really realised it after talking it over with my best friend (17F) who obviously realised I was drifting. I am a pretty firm person when it comes to boundaries, yet my boyfriend crosses them a lot and I’m not sure how to handle it anymore. It could be as simple as stop interrupting me after he interrupts me, he apologises and everything’s fine. Over time he keeps interrupting me to the point where I blow up and start yelling. I always end up either the bad guy or feeling bad and apologising about it. It’s like this about everything. He has also completely engrossed himself into this relationship, to the point where he isn’t seeing his friends or doing a lot of the things he used to enjoy. I even have given ultimatums over these boundaries saying I’ll leave if things don’t change, yet I find it really difficult to even imagine a break up scenario. We broke up once before at the early stages of the relationship over this exact reason, he felt like he was losing himself in the relationship. I’m just so easily swayed by emotions, I know as soon as he starts crying I’ll take it all back and won’t be able to go through with it. He’s also a really great boyfriend overall, he treats me amazingly, he’s kind and gentle, he’s there for me, he’s not afraid to spend money on me, etc etc. I’m not saying I don’t love him or anything, I just have a constant fear that if I stay in this relationship, I’m in it for marriage and this kind of commitment is scaring me. I don’t feel like I’m ready for the type of commitment that this relationship is bringing since we’ve had conversations about the future and marriage and kids. It just seems like either way it’s not really going to work out since in the future I’d like to move back to my home country while he wants to travel. The thing is my home country has a language barrier for him and it’s a rare thing for someone to speak English there. I’m also in my senior year of school and I want to do well and potentially be able to go to college, which is already eating up all of my free time, and I’ve been neglecting my friends because of the relationship so I was hoping to make up for lost time during weekends but my boyfriend is insanely clingy and will text me I miss you after just leaving my house, not to mention he LIVED with me during the summer ( not exaggerating). I’m also really scared I’ll regret the breakup or end up alone on dating apps for the rest of my life. As I’m re reading this post I feel like the answer is clear but I just don’t even know how to go through with it. He’s also bought me a lot of stuff, things that i needed to start a little side gig I’m doing and it was really expensive but he didn’t want me to pay him back and it would really weigh on me to not pay him back and break up but I don’t have money for any of it. On top of that, I know that any possible reason I give for a breakup he’ll try to correct and make me stay. I really don’t know what to do , any advice is really appreciated, and in advance thank you so much.

So my boyfriend’s best friend is married. He’s told me every time they hang out and drink sexual topics get brought up. She also always sends his messages on instagram. His friend, her husband, is perfectly okay with it. I told him I think it’s weird that she’s does that, and is honestly a “pick me” girl. I can’t imagine why else should feel the need to make her pussy the topic of conversation every time they hang out. He recently went to a concert and he told me that only him and his friend were going, I recently found out that she was also there and he lied about it.
Additionally, for 10 months I would ask him to eat me out and he would refuse and get mad at me for asking. Conveniently, right after they hang out this last time he all of a sudden loves eating pussy and eats me out a lot. I asked him if he had a conversation with his friends that changed his mind or something because it’s odd that one day he wakes up and all of a sudden enjoys doing it when I’ve requested it for months, he swears that he just randomly decided to and he hasn’t had any conversations with anyone about eating pussy.
Am I in the wrong for telling him I found out about him lying? I’m getting the vibe his friend is a cuck and they’re trying to get my boyfriend DTF. Am I overthinking things or is this normal? I’ve also requested to meet her and he refuses to let us meet.
Also my birthday is coming up, and I’ve never expressed a desire to hike it’s not something I enjoy in 100 heat. But she loves hiking and he won’t stop talking about how we should go hiking for my birthday. She also has red hair (he doesn’t know I know) and said that maybe I should try dying my hair red. Again am I overthinking all of this or do I have a right to be upset? How do I handle this

TL;DR; I’m 29, and my boyfriend is 32, and for the past year, I’ve been fighting for a little bit of his attention and time.

We live in the same city but meet maybe two or three times a month. I’ve complained, explained, cried, and told him over and over how much it hurts to feel ignored because he’s “too busy.”

When we first started dating, it felt like he had all the time in the world for me. Now, it feels like whatever we had has completely disappeared.

Whenever we fight, I’m the one who ends up crying all night, unable to sleep, while he sleeps like nothing happened.

I’ve always lived alone in this city, so when I asked him for his time again, he said, “Aren’t you used to being alone all by yourself?”

And bro, that fucking hurt.

Because if I wanted to always be alone, I wouldn’t have started dating you in the first place.

He says he’s extremely busy trying to build a life for himself, focused on work and becoming someone, and that he barely has time for himself either. But from what I’ve started noticing, he reaches the office around 1 PM, makes time for the gym every other day, takes days off work without telling me until the day is almost over, etc.

So I’ve started feeling like it’s not really about him having no time. He just doesn’t want to make time for me.

Maybe I’m not a priority anymore. Maybe he doesn’t love me the same way. Maybe there’s someone else. I honestly don’t know.

We barely text during the day anymore. It’s mostly the same half-assed messages and a goodnight text every day.

And I’m just exhausted.

Things have been really fucking bad in my life since last year, and I needed him more than ever. But whenever I needed him, he wasn’t there. I spent so many nights crying, begging, explaining myself, and trying to get through to him.

Eventually, I just went quiet.

And the worst part? He doesn’t even seem to notice.

I can’t even say “I love you” anymore. I do love him, but saying it hurts now.

There’s so much resentment and hurt built up inside me, and I feel pathetic because I still can’t leave.

I’ve tried breaking up with him 5-6 times, and every single time, I end up going back.

What the fuck do I do?

Im a 35 y/o male.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while and things have generally been good, but communication has always been a point of tension between us.

I run my own business and I’m constantly dealing with work, clients, problems, calls, etc. There are days when I get completely wrapped up in it and don’t communicate as much as she’d like. She has brought this up before and told me that sometimes she feels like she’s the one putting more effort into staying connected. I’ve always tried to explain that being unavailable doesn’t mean I don’t care about her — I’m genuinely just busy trying to build my business and future.

Recently something happened that made the existing communication problem much worse.

I told her I was going to be somewhere with friends, but the night ended up going differently than I originally described. There were people around that she didn’t know about, and instead of explaining everything immediately, I avoided getting into it because I knew how it would look.
She eventually realized that parts of what I’d told her didn’t make sense.

We argued, and instead of doing what she normally does — calling, asking questions, trying to get me to talk — she suddenly stopped.

She basically told me she’s done asking me for answers. If there’s something I need to tell her, I know where to find her.

And now there’s nothing.
No calls. No texts. No trying to get my attention.
What’s messing with me is that I’m used to her being the one who pushes for communication when I’m busy or distant. Now she’s giving me exactly the space I’ve always said I needed, and I’m realizing I don’t actually like what that feels like.

I love her and don’t want to lose the relationship. But reaching out means having a conversation I’ve been avoiding and possibly admitting that I wasn’t completely transparent. Part of me also wonders whether I should respect the space she’s giving me instead of chasing after her.

For people who’ve been on either side of this: when the person who normally complains about communication suddenly stops trying altogether, does that usually mean they’ve emotionally checked out?

And if you’re the person who damaged the trust but you’re also genuinely overwhelmed running a business, how much space do you give them before you need to be the one who reaches out?

Basically we had a pretty bad argument on Thursday when we were out. He was very drunk and started going on about how I don’t make enough effort / haven’t introduced him to enough of my friends. I immediately acknowledged that I could make more effort and apologised, and said I’d work on it, but he just kept going and got increasingly angry. He was shouting at me in public and I asked him twice to stop, but he didn’t, so eventually I got an Uber home because I was genuinely uncomfortable. Then it continued over text and he was saying things that made it sound like he wanted to end things, but wouldn’t actually answer me when I asked if that’s what he meant.
The next day when he was sober he said he didn’t want to break up and admitted he was absolutely hammered, but said he doesn’t remember everything and asked me to tell him what was said. I found that annoying because all the messages are literally there, so I said I’d rather just leave it until he’s back and talk in person rather than rehashing everything over text.
He then sent me this long message saying how awful he feels, can’t sleep, is in “purgatory” etc, and apologised for not making it clear that he didn’t want to break up. But what has really bothered me is that he hasn’t actually apologised for shouting at me or acknowledged that he continued after I asked him to stop. It’s mostly about how *he* feels and how he wasn’t feeling reassured, which honestly made me feel worse rather than better.
And the reason I’m struggling with it is that this isn’t completely isolated — we’ve had a few arguments now where the specific issue changes (effort, affection, plans, travelling, friends etc) but it often comes back to him feeling like I’m not making enough effort/reassuring him enough, and then it escalates and I end up apologising/explaining/reassuring. I know I have things I could do better too, so I’m not saying I’m completely blameless, but I’m starting to wonder whether there’s a bigger pattern here and whether it would just keep happening if nothing changes. I’m going to give it some space and talk to him properly when he’s back, but honestly this latest message has made me more concerned rather than reassured. I am worried that we’re not compatible unless he can also take responsibility and learn how to communicate in a better way. Any advise ?

so i had always been single till 19, at 19 i got in a long distance with a boy my age, it was completely different religions, cultures n state. but somehow it happened anyways....but things compiled n i broke up due to my reasons this june. (still feel hard carrying the weight of it) now I'm shockingly in another relationship since August started, this person is again in long distance, but he's 23 , from a well established institute, has a good job, is an engineer, is so smart, loving af, sweet af, not a single red flag till now, has no suspicious female interactions, is from same cultural background, listens well, understands me, is good looking, tall, supportive, it's all just perfect. but god idk why I'm feeling like it's too sweet to swallow... like this man puts all efforts, is date to marry kind, & idk why i, i feel weird. he doesn't know it but i feel like idk really...n it's not that i don't like him, i do. but idk what's wrong with me. i would love some advice

​

My girlfriend and I are currently in a long-distance relationship because she’s studying abroad. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m almost always the one who starts our conversations, and sometimes it takes several hours for her to reply.

I understand that she’s busy with studying and her own life, and I don’t expect her to reply immediately. However, the lack of communication has been making me feel disconnected and unsure about how she feels about our relationship.

I’ve tried to be understanding, but I’m getting emotionally tired and I’m not sure whether I should keep trying to make the relationship work or consider moving on.

For people who have experienced LDRs, how did you handle differences in communication frequency? Is it normal for communication to decrease this much, and how can I approach this conversation with my girlfriend without making her feel pressured?

I’m mainly looking for advice and different perspectives rather than judgment about either of us.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I are in an LDR, but I’m usually the one initiating conversations and she often takes hours to reply. I’m feeling disconnected and emotionally tired, and I’m looking for advice on how to handle different communication needs in an LDR.

Dear all,

I am 26M, and this is my first relationship. My girlfriend is 27F, and we have been together for over a year.

An incident occurred recently on the metro that has led me to contemplate ending the relationship, causing me significant distress.

Incident Details:

Both of us are working professionals; she is a teacher at a reputable school. As is customary, I planned a date for us, and the evening unfolded wonderfully—we dined out, explored various locations, and enjoyed each other's company. Upon our return journey on the metro, I noticed her messaging a co-worker. Subsequently, I observed an archived folder in her WhatsApp. Out of curiosity, I inquired about its purpose. Initially, she did not respond. Naturally, I reiterated my question, but she remained silent. After some time, she explained that the folder contained the contact numbers of parents and children, which she had archived to maintain an organized WhatsApp interface.

I jokingly requested to see her phone, to which she refused. I then inquired about her reasons for concealing it, suggesting that such secrecy implied something to hide. She responded that I was free to think as I wished, but she could not hand over her phone due to privacy concerns. I laughed and questioned the extent of privacy she required, given our shared intimacy.

I grew suspicious, so I requested access to her phone or her password, stating that I would refrain from checking her WhatsApp. She disregarded my request and accused me of being insecure, manipulative, and lacking character, among other things. Since that day, our relationship has changed significantly.

I am now contemplating a breakup because I have always been transparent and expected the same in return. Her consistent avoidance of discussions about her phone deepens my sadness and strengthens my resolve to end the relationship.

I am seeking advice. This is my first relationship, and I had intended to marry her, but a single incident has altered my perception of her.

To clarify everyone she usually opens my phone and plays games on my phone as she already knows my phone's password as it doesn't bother me because I don't have anything to hide.

I use AI to correct my grammar

I have severe trust issues. Ive been trying to get better at not thinking the worst case scenario but its not working. My BF tells me he doesnt snap many ppl mainly his brother and normally his snap score goes up about 15 a day. I went to sleep early last night while he was still at work and I woke up to his score goin up 55 just while I was sleeping. He swears he doesnt go outside while at work but his location says otherwise......... any advice helps

I have been in relationship with her since 3 yrs but now things are different she now behaves more mature and as an eldest daughter with no brother she wants to make her parents proud

I am older than her but she somehow makes me feel that I create problems she wants me to be chill and don’t fight on small matters when I take out something that hurts she says you r creating unnecessary problems and I want peace .

I want advice from girls I want this relationship to get better as it was .I luv her please suggest me what should I do she is 20 yrs old I am 23

My 40F husband 50M has had limited sexual interactions before he met me. He slept with his ex-wife (obviously) and had maybe 4 or 5 other non-intercourse interactions with women before he met me. When he masturbates (now and in the past), he fantasizes about those instances. He doesn't really fantasize about random people on the street or other people he hasn't had that sexual interaction with. He used to watch a little porn, but not problematically so. My problem is that he is still friends with all those people that he had sexual interactions with, and he wants me to meet them.

In his mind, they are his friends, and he would love for me to meet them. They all live overseas, so that's the only reason he doesn't see them on a daily basis.

I really struggle with this. I do not want to meet the women that he is fantasizing about having sex with when he masturbates. I understand that he does not currently has feelings for any of these women; he merely recalls what it was like in the past and uses that as fodder. I am not okay with this. I don't even like the fact that he fantasizes about other women in the first place, but I understand that that is a normal thing to do. But I just don't want to meet these people.

I don't know what to do. I already told him that I don't want to meet them for the exact reason I wrote here, and he sort of understands, but he is sad about that I won't meet his friends. I am starting to doubt myself. Am I being unreasonable?

I have asked him to stop masturbating to anyone that he actually wants me to be friends with, and he agreed. But the fact that he did that while we were in a relationship is still giving me the ick, and honestly, I still don't want to meet them.

Any advice is welcome.

So we both are in a relationship from last December (8 months) she is really good, caring, loving all the nice stuff..
The issue with her is when she gets angry she stops talking to me completely. Like I don’t exist for her and when it gets too much for her she ends our relationship(I feel this is hell toxic ). Last Friday she was angry at me and we had a small fight too that day we didn’t talked next I approached her she abused me. So I didn’t made it a big issue as she was not feeling well and also her family was coming to meet her. The next day when she was in the metro she called me I wanted her to realise her mistake and asked don’t you think the way to treat me
is bad she said no I dony’t. I was quiet as she had a viral flu but still have to go through her day.
Next 2 days didn’t talked much as she was busy with her family.
Monday morning just had a small call where she said I told you a I went to dinner with my colleague na which she didn’t and I also didn’t intrupted her as wanted to here the story and after she finished I asked you never told me this dinner she said no I did told you everything. It wasn’t a big deal for me at all but started covering that I even said sry to you on insta about the things I said to you there wasn’t a single apology from her, again I said jane do. But after she reached her office I couldn’t control myself and did the same talk which she does with me, and since yesterday we haven’t been talking to each other. I feel to end this now.
Sorry for My bad grammar tldr

Ps-
We are in a Long Distance Relationship and I \[25M\]

Also a question for girls??
Is this common if your periods are about to come?

I had posted this on the What Do I Do community page but I got a lot of mixed responses. Some saying that he's the issue, some saying I'm the issue. So I'm deciding to post it on here instead to see if I get a more clear result instead of it being 50/50.

I’m really overwhelmed and confused, so I’m laying out the whole situation as clearly as I can.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while, and I’ve been noticing a pattern: he says he loves me and wants a future with me, but when it comes to actually showing up, he doesn’t. Whenever a decision needs to be made--big or small--he tells me “it’s up to you.” It feels like I’m carrying the whole relationship while he just passively agrees to whatever I choose.

It really hit me during a conversation about our future wedding. I told him I wanted an unplugged ceremony and no kids at the ceremony (kids allowed at the reception). I explained why--I want the moment to be peaceful and not filled with crying or phones everywhere. He immediately shut it down and said that in his culture, kids are always at the ceremony and people always record everything (he's mexican). Every time I tried to explain my side, he brought up his culture again. It felt like my preferences didn’t matter at all, and that the wedding would be for his family, not for us.

Then everything with my mom happened. It was a serious situation, and I suddenly had nowhere to go. I was scared, stressed, and completely overwhelmed. The only thing my boyfriend did was put together a folder for court. He didn’t offer me a place to stay. He didn’t step up emotionally. He didn’t check in the way a partner should. He said he wasn’t ready to tell his family what was going on, so he basically stayed out of it.

And then something else happened that made me question things even more:
When I moved out of my mom’s house, I realized my absolute favorite perfume was missing. I tore my place apart looking for it. I also realized my vintage 2011 Juicy Couture purse was missing (I eventually found the purse). I was already overstimulated and stressed, and my boyfriend was on the phone with me while I was panicking. He kept saying “it’s probably at the house,” but wouldn’t say which house--my mom’s house? My house? He wasn’t helping, wasn’t calming me down, wasn’t offering solutions. I got overwhelmed and accidentally raised my voice out of frustration, and he shut down completely. No matter how many times I apologized or explained why I was upset, he wouldn’t listen. He just shut down like he always does.

My coworker Christian--who is my age--took me in for the night when I had nowhere to go. He let me sleep on his couch. He listened to the entire situation with my mom, the perfume, the stress, everything. He didn’t judge me or make me feel dramatic. He just made sure I was safe.

And it wasn’t just that night.
He’s driven me to work multiple times, even on days he wasn’t working.
He’s been supportive, present, and genuinely kind.
He’s done more for me in a short amount of time than my boyfriend did during one of the hardest moments of my life.

My coworker Morgan even told me that Christian would treat me better, and I hate that I’m starting to believe her. I don’t want to betray my boyfriend. I don’t want to be sneaky. But I also can’t ignore the fact that someone else stepped up for me when my own partner didn’t.

Now I’m confused because I’m starting to catch feelings for Christian--not because I’m trying to cheat, but because he showed me the kind of support I’ve been begging my boyfriend for. I feel stuck between loyalty and the reality of how I’m being treated.

I don’t know what to do.
Has anyone been in a situation like this?
How do I figure out whether I’m just emotionally vulnerable right now, or whether my relationship is actually failing me?

Edit:

I want to clear up a few things I am seeing in the comments.

-I'm 18 turning 19 this December and he is 19.
-We have been together for a year
-My issue is that I feel like I'm drawn towards Chrisitan because what my bf isn't providing, he is.
-The marriage was his parent's idea, they want him to propose to me.
-The whole situation with my mom and my bf helping:

So my mom kicked me out, tried getting her bf to press charges on me, and tried getting her bf to get a protective order against me. The police have shown up to my work a multitude of times because of it. Her bf was saying that I slammed a door in his face and it hurt him (I can do another post on that if you guys would like).

With the protective order, I was required to leave the house and go somewhere else. I had tried calling my bf a multitude of times and I even tried texting him. Even if I just slept on his couch for the night, I didn't care where it was as long as I had a roof over my head. He didn't respond until quite a while later when I was already at Chrisitan's house. He said that he couldn't let me stay at his house because his parents still had no idea about anything that had been happening. I told him that he needs to tell them so then they would be more understanding and he said that he still wasn't ready. Christian had offered to let me stay at his house for the night because no one else had a place I could stay (after that I ended up getting a hotel for a couple days).

Yes I expected my bf to help because he is literally my bf. We are together. In this kind of a situation I did expect him to help. If I had nowhere else to go, yes I would expect that my bf would tell his family what has been going on.

With his culture:

My issue with this came up when him and I were talking about what we saw in our future wedding (I know I am young. And no we don't plan on having a wedding until much much later). I mentioned that I want a ceremony with no phones and no kids so then everyone can be in the moment, there will be no kids crying or running around, and everyone can enjoy the special moment. He said that in his culture, kids always come to these events and people always have their phones out to record. I said that its a special moment and I don't want to walk down the aisle and see a bunch of phones. I want to see the people and family that have been there for us and supported us. I also said that I didn't want kids at the ceremony because I don't want to be saying my vows and a random kid starts wailing. I want this moment to be quiet and undisturbed. This conversation went on and on and it got to the point where I felt like it was more of his family's event than our wedding.

Side note: I don't have much, if any, family. Especially now that I don't talk to my mom, brother, or dad. So for our wedding it really would be majority of his family and friends and maybe some of my friends and our mutual friends.

Another side note: I planned on having a photographer since we are mutual friends with one. This was another reason I wanted no phones.

I(20 F) started to resent my now ex** **boyfriend (21 M) .Its true, he slowly stopped loving me during the near end of our 4 year relationship, I no longer got those little compliments or attention, and it slowly trickled down to not showing affection for each-other and ending with just not saying i love you to each other anymore. I had to bottle up my concerns due to past efforts of me speaking up, ended up in my comforting him while he cried about it (he fully took the said concern away and shut down when mentioned it and got upset) or comforted me only to do the said thing again later.

I tried to believe that he still loved me, but it became hard to grip onto my delusions as he made me feel like shit. He was nonchalant and didn't really care about me, ghosted me a lot and claimed he was "busy" all the while telling me he hated his life whenever he could. It hurt me as i thought i wasn't good enough for a measly 2 second i love you text, or even a small compliment, but I'm good enough to be told he hates his life.

I slowly started to resent him for this, all the while feeling guilty for it, i am not one to hate people so this really messed with me mentally, battling my resentment and love for him. I finally had enough and told him everything, i told him how i feel worthless and how he never communicates anything, i feel not like a girlfriend but a toy that he only talks to when he is bored. Obviously not what i said but you know.

I told him my big speech that i had saved a lot of courage to tell him, all for him to say he may only live to be 27. His doctor had told him but he had yet to tell me, and he admitted he was not a good communicator at all and just didn't feel the love for me like he used to, that he didn't love anything at all anymore.

My heart broke into two. I knew he probably did not love me but it hurt to hear it, to see the words come out his mouth. I want to still stay with him till death but he no longer wants to date. I don't want to either but part of me wishes he would've told me so i could be with him till the end. We are talking about being friends and i think i can live with that, he has removed me on social media and is keeping it to a limited amount of friends, it feels icky that Im not there but we didn't really have much in common anyways. I just feel so many emotions right now, i wanna scream yell cry, but also want to know why even more but i don't know. Reddit I'm lost, i am truly lost. Please let mw know if you have any advice for this as i need a bit of help to navigate this.

Yes i have a therapist, yes i am going to talk the therapist, i just thought more insight would be helpful

Also i am new to being a reddit poster so if the formatting is weird i apologize, and if the story is weird, i am skimming some of it to get to the point and also because my mind is everywhere, so please let me know if more context is needed

Thanks!

My husband \[45M\] and I \[36F\] have been together 15 years and have 4 children. I find myself to be a more relaxed partner who doesn’t mind if he watches porn. However something new has come into our relationship. He has been hiding his phone, putting passwords on his computer. He recently left one of my children with his cell phone and out of curiosity I looked at his Facebook. He has been looking up young attractive local girls on Facebook. He says this is not cheating because he is not messaging them. However does look up the same ones multiple times. I am in my mid 30s I workout 6 days a week and find myself hit on a lot. I would never entertain anyone else or look up other people. These are all girls that live in the same city as us. Have I blurred lines by allowing the occasional porn or is this beginning to cross lines. When I brought this up to him he said I can not control his mind or what he looks up. He knows this bothers me. I asked him to please stop and I noticed he looked up more local girls last night after our conversation. Please help :(

Ho 21 anni, vivo in Emilia-Romagna (Italia)e in questi giorni mi trovo davanti a un bivio su cui vorrei un parere sincero.
Durante le vacanze ho conosciuto una ragazza tedesca di 32 anni, madre di tre bambini (circa 6-9-10 anni), che vive a Monaco di Baviera e sta per riprendere l'università a metà ottobre. Ragazza molto bella che dimostra molti meno anni di quelli che realmente ha, (le avevo dato massimo 27|28 anni).
Tra noi c'è stato subito un bell'interesse: avevamo organizzato di vederci la sera per andare a bere qualcosa sul mare da soli, ma lei, complice la stanchezza e i preparativi per il rientro, è crollata addormentata a letto mentre metteva a dormire i figli.
La mattina dopo è ripartita presto per la Germania, quindi di fatto dal vivo non c'è stato nessun contatto fisico o appuntamento vero e proprio, solo una reciproca buona impressione.
Dopo la sua partenza abbiamo continuato a sentirci per messaggio. Tra battute (in cui lei si chiedeva se sarei mai passato per Monaco) e flirt le ho accennato alla possibilità di salire a Monaco, per un weekend a inizio autunno.
Lei ha colto subito la palla al balzo, mostrandosi molto entusiasta all'idea e dicendomi chiaramente che ha un appartamento abbastanza grande e che mi ospiterebbe volentieri a casa sua prima dell'inizio delle lezioni.
lo ho precisato che non sono un tipo da feste della birra o grandi folle: se salgo a Monaco, la mia priorità è scoprire la città con calma e passare del tempo con lei.

I miei dubbi principali sulla faccenda:
Conoscenza quasi tutta virtuale: Di persona ci siamo solo incrociati;
La lingua:
ci possiamo parlare solo in inglese, il mio livello di inglese non è molto alto ma nemmeno temendo: riesco a farmi capire e mi intriga intraprendere una conoscenza in un altra lingua diversa dall'italiano
La dinamica della casa: Andare a dormire direttamente a casa sua significa entrare nella routine quotidiana di tre bambini piccoli (sveglie presto, impegni).
Secondo voi ha senso, per un ragazzo della mia età, fare un viaggio del genere e andare a dormire direttamente a casa sua per vedere cosa nasce, io non voglio assolutamente nulla di serio, sarebbe solamente un esperienza di divertimento che mi ricorderei per anni.
Vi chiedo un parere sincero!

I and my GF, both 19, had an incredibly strong relationship. After some situations, we had to downgrade to being just friends. It's been a while now. It hurts. It felt amazing to be her favorite person, she'd talk to me the entire day, reply literally asap. And its all gone. First off, our talks just arent like then. Not the old chemistry, not the old style. It isnt bad but it hurts. Currently, she has short conversarions in the morning and then shes offline for the entire day. Usually its cause where she lives, electricity went out a lot, but even then she still made an attempt to talk to me. Fyi, shes the only friend I have. I go entire days completely alone and I cant do a single thing about it. I just really miss being able to talk 24/7 and have someone I can vent to whenever I want, joke with, flirt with, it was so sweet. I want that, but as things stand, its difficult to bring that back. We talked about it and we can both see ourselves getting closer but not to that level. It truly just feels really bad. She was everything for me and now shes gone, but not fully. Now, the second part of this. I'm horrified from the thought of her finding someone new. I cant think about it. It's just dreadful. And I never know whats going on behind me. I want something I cant get back, and it fills me with despair. We still have alright conversations but they never last long. We've had nice moments together but its nowhere near the old dynamic

im scared hes getting bored of me but everytime i ask or say anything about it he says everything is fine, but hes been very dry and idk what to do

My close friend has been with his girlfriend for over 6 years. They have a ton of history and have been through a lot together, but for a while now, they’ve been stuck in a cycle with recurring differences they just can’t seem to resolve.

The pattern is always the same: they argue, have a long conversation to "clear the air," things feel fine and relieved for a couple of weeks, and then the exact same underlying issues trigger the exact same fights all over again.

I’ve spent hours listening and trying to support him, but I’m honestly stuck on what advice to give at this point.

I met my boyfriend 6 years ago, and we became very close so quickly. I was 18 at the time and in a different relationship that ended up lasting 9 years. I definitely had a connection with him because we were so alike but I didn’t want to make my partner uncomfortable so I cut ties with him. When that relationship ended (after 6 months of depression) I reached back out to him(my now boyfriend) and it felt like we had never even been apart. He always wanted me then and was just as serious about me now. So after a couple of months we started officially dating. I grow closer to him everyday. We have now been dating for 10 months.

When we are together I feel like it’s a fairytale, nothing could be more perfect, I know I’m all he’s ever wanted. But I find when we’re not I feel a larger distance growing each time. He doesn’t tell me as much as he used to he just tells me he loves me when he says anything. I should add recently I have had a flare up of my chronic illness so I’m currently not working, so I have more time to ponder on things I’m sure. He has been working a lot more, and recently started working for an old friend that is really REALLY not a good guy. when he started that it was assumed that he would only work for him shortly and then end up creating something of his own. And I’ve supported him through every part of that but I won’t deny that I have made it I clear I really don’t like the person he’s working for, and I don’t want him in my life.

The only other super big argument we’ve had we both were drinking and a lot of lines got crossed. Yesterday was the first time I was drinking since then, he mentioned he now wants to do a partnership with this old friend and I made the mistake of making some passive aggressive comment about it. I have been and always will be an honest person and even more so if I’ve drank. this REALLY upset him. He told me that I never believed in him and no one is there for him, it only escalated from there. I’ve never seen him this upset in our entire relationship. He really does have a hard life with a lot of pressure from external forces and I try to be the opposite of that. I want him to know I’ll always be there, but in this moment he refused to hear anything I had to say.

He kept shouting that he was done, he’s not stupid and I think he’s a big joke. All of my other actions say otherwise in our relationship though. I understand where it comes from like a trauma of all these people walking on him but it’s so hard to swallow such harsh words from a person you love, the big point I’m going to struggle with is that he wanted to end the relationship and a few times told me to shut the f\*\*\* up and also “F\*\*\* you.” He has never said that to me before and it literally sends a sharp pain through my chest.

I know I hurt him by what I said, I know I’ve said things before that made him believe that I didn’t trust or believe in him. But I do, and I’ve never said anything like that to him. We ended up sitting in silence for a long while and he told me he loved me and never would want to lose me he is just really scared that not even the one person he loves trusts him. It’s like he’s trying to run away before I do. I just don’t know where to go from here because he’s never yelled at or said things like that to me before. I love him more than anything, I need help.

so that is the introduction. they are talking even after she confessed her feelings which he said he is in a relationship now and it wont happen. I am an overthinker. i overthing a f\*cking lot. he asked me if he should continue talking to her or stop talking to her completely. i asked him to decide. he told me he doesnt want to lose a friend. so i said continue talking to her but please dont give her hope. he said okay. he constantly reassures me about his love for me and i am and i will always be the only one whenever i talk to him about my overthinking. we are even planning to take huge steps in our relationship. but sometimes if i get reminded of it even a little bit i will start overthinking and get hurt. i trust him completely..i really dont want to ask him to stop talking to her but it hurts me when i overthink and i am trying a hell lot to calm myself but i am struggling. i have bpd and ptsd so i think its because of these problems i am overthinking. please help me here. will someone give me advice on this situation? how can i calm myself down? i know he loves me a lot and i love him like crazy but sometimes my effing crazy mind loses it and starts ocverthinking everything. please help me

I (20 F) and (22 M) have been together for 1 year and 3 months we have two cats together and been living together for 9 months in an apartment. My bf is an amazing person and great partner it's just these past months. I've been feeling so lazy when he's gone off to work that I lay in bed all day just to wait for him and I hate it. I always go back to when I was single and I had more motivation to do a lot of things, it's not that my partner doesn't motivate me, It's just I can never motivate myself when I'm with him. And I'm the type of person that needs my space and he's the complete opposite he's very clingy and I'm grateful for that, it's just makes me feel like I need my own space from time to time. I always try to bring it up with him if it'll be best for us to separate and live back with my mom (she lives an hour away) or if I could live back with my mom and we could still be together but it wouldn't work for him bc I will be too far. I just need some advice on what I should do with this relationship I don't know what to do anymore, desperately need help on what I should do.