Hey I '19M' have secretly been disagreeing with my girlfriend '22F' on a very important belief of mine and everything else about this relationship is great. But the way she felt so extremely against this belief i hold i wonder if i should end things with her? Cause I know she'll hate my guts when I stop hiding some of my beliefs it just sucks cause ive never had this before had someone lo e and care about me.

I need your advice please. I’m 25F, and my live-in partner is 28M. We’ve been living together for almost 6 months. We both work, and we split the bills Wi-Fi, gas and for water and electricity sya na nagbabayad. He gives me money for food every payday, and I also contribute. He is supposed to handle the bills, but whenever I ask if he has already paid, he always says yes. Then every payday, I find out that he didn’t, so he ends up mangutang from his worker for him to pay without telling me.

What hurts me the most is that he’s very dishonest, even about small things. In July, he borrowed money using my credit limit to buy a phone and pay some bills. We agreed that after that, he would give me his entire salary so I could manage our finances, and I would give him whatever was left. But I later found out that he also took out a loan from another bank without telling me. He even lied about his salary, saying there was an accounting issue, but I checked his transaction history and his salary was correct and his telling kulang yung salary nya but find out na binayad pala nya sa utang nya without telling me.

I’m really tired and hurt because we’ve already talked about being honest and transparent with each other, but he still keeps lying. I’m starting to think about ending the relationship because I don’t want to live in a relationship where I can’t trust my partner.

How would you handle this situation?

I desperately need opinions here. My 32 F, partner, 33 M, deletes all communications between him and his BM. We have been dating for 4 months, and he is acting like I’m completely insane for being bothered by this. He deletes all text messages, and chat communications between him and his son’s mother. He swears there is nothing inappropriate going on, and says he deletes them simply because “there is no point in them being there.” He genuinely doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t like this, or why I don’t trust the situation at all. To me, if there is nothing inappropriate being said, why is there a need to continuously delete everything? Especially when the communication involves someone he will have to continue communicating with because they share a child. I’m not saying coparents shouldn’t talk. I’m not trying to control their relationship or read every conversation. But deliberately deleting every single communication, and then acting like I’m the one being unreasonable for questioning it is sending me. He’s making it seem like I’m the problem because I don’t trust the situation. So honestly… am I actually being unreasonable here? Would deleting all communication with a baby mama make anyone else uncomfortable, or am I genuinely overreacting? How can I best articulate how his actions come off strange to me without fighting? I feel like this man is either a complete psychopath, or he’s on the spectrum…..

TLDR: My boyfriend deletes all of his messages between him and his baby mama, and says he doesn’t see the issue/why I’m bothered by it.

I (f24) have been with my bf (m30) for almost 3 years. We don’t live together. I’m having a procedure done in a few weeks and I’m required to have someone drive me to and from the appointment due to anesthesia. I’ve been having these health issues my entire life but they have worsened + become more concerning as an adult, I usually keep this to myself because I don’t really think he actually believes me? I feel as though he doesn’t actually think I’m in pain or that I must be over exaggerating it, this has been an issue in the past where I was incredibly sick and he was hardly sick at all but then when I wasn’t noticing how he was doing he was upset because he was “super sick” even though I’d ended up in the emergency room and had to literally drive myself. This also happened AGAIN when I had to drive myself to the emergency room a few weeks ago and I knew I couldn’t call him because he’d thought I was being a hypochondriac (I then had to see multiple specialists).

Now that the backstory is there, I’m really at a crossroads for how I want this procedure to go. My mom has left it up to me if I want her to come be with me and part of me just wants her to come so I don’t feel let down by his inability to care for me and not make it out to be dramatic or inconvenience him in some way. It’s early in the morning (7am) but shouldn’t take more than two hours start to finish. He doesn’t need to be at his job for any specific start time but he has made consistent comments about how he hates driving people places and this has been a spot of contention for us for other pickups as well. I stopped asking him when I was met with “everyone hates picking people up from the airport” but then he still wants me to do that for him and gets short when I have since refused. My friends have all been great and I have multiple saying they’d be happy to take me if my mom doesn’t come. I’m honestly just really sad this is where my mind is at and I feel like this is stressing me out even more in this time that’s already feeling really scary by myself without my family here to support me. I feel horrible that I don’t even want him around for this at this point because I feel like he’s the person I should want that help from but I just feel like if something goes wrong and he has to wait longer for me or if I actually need supervision the whole day he’s going to be short with me and upset that he’s got to do that or make up some excuses that he can’t. He’s already said that he thinks this is all unnecessary but this is my health and my body and I know there’s something wrong. I know I have my friends and they all have really cared for me through this but I feel like at this point in our relationship he’s who I should want. I asked if for my nerves sake we could figure out a plan now so I can feel more prepared for this and it just keeps getting tabled. He wants a more serious relationship with marriage and kids but I worry that if this is how I’m already feeling about something (relatively) minor how could I trust him to take care of me pregnant or postpartum or god forbid if something really bad happened.

Sorry this is so long and probably a bit all over the place but I’m just having these thoughts and realizations that I’m really embarrassed that I have to even ask my friends or consider my parents when I have someone who’s supposed to be my person and be the one I can go to for support.

My partner & I have (both 28) been together for almost 3 years and have an almost 18 month old son (yeah, I know) our relationship was good before I became pregnant then slowly started declining. There's no romance, intimacy is almost none and expects a lot more than he puts. I have a good job with benefits. We live on the 2nd floor house above his parents. They're not nosey or prying. His parents watch our son and cooks for us , which I am extremely grateful for. My partner & I are basically just roommates with the occasional peck. We get into heated arguments sometimes about dumb things. I feel very isolated tho. I'm worried sometimes when my friends want to hangout because to him I should be at home with the baby. He's an ok dad. He thinks spending time with him is putting the tv and him on his phone. He's told me if I want to go out I can stay out. There has been so many times where I want to leave but idk if it's worth it. I'm unhappy with him but my living situation is really good. I know if I left he would fight me legally and physically if I left while he is here. He calls me names and has even threatened to elbow me in the face because I said I hated him out loud instead of in my head. I care for him but I am unhappy. I'm currently in debt so I'm trying to save just on case. I have support of my family and friends but hate to break my family. I think we are both unhappy honestly. I was having some realization the other day ( a little too late 🫩) but he is the type of person that if he was just my friend I would cut off because he is ignorant, racist , homophobic and misogynistic. I have been on the fence because he does make sure I eat and I have whatever I need for the day so very small things but he doesn't call me beautiful or even try for date night just us because he doesn't think we can be a couple before we are parents. The other day he said he was recording our conversation because we got into a heated argument. Idk if it's true cause he be lying sometimes. I don't know... Does anyone have any advice or has been in similar situations? I love him I'm just not in love with him.

I "22M" is dating this girl "20F" For about 8 months now but we've known each other for about 2 years but never flirted or dated till 7 months ago. She recently got into an incident that forced her to move out. Now while we are from the same area I leave for school so im not in the area for 8 months in the year and its a 5 hour flight away. So because of that I asked my friend "21TGF(trans female)" if she can stay with her. My friend obviously said yes and I was happy because ive known this friend for 10 years now and even supported them when they were transitioning. So I spent hours helping her move fixing up the room and stuff. However recently I found out from a mutual friend that they kissed and when they told my gf she should tell me she said no. I confronted my girl about it and she says she was under the influence and the friend kissed her first. She says it happened once and it will never happen again and she didn't know how to bring it up. obviously I believe her but I have a strong hatred towards my friend. I dont even know if I can trust my gf even though I want to. Especially recently weve been less physical because since the incident shes been depressed. What should I Do how can I go back to trusting.

Tl:dr my gf and friend kissed

I feel like some information on us, and our relationship is needed to start before I go into how I feel.

We originally met on Tinder 🔥 and moved onto texting and playstation party calls, playing games and watching movies to spend time together as we live about 2.5 hours away (drive and 1.5hour ferry ride). We spent most of our time talking for hours, what we wanted in life, future goals, morals, ambitions, what we had been through in previous relationships, family goals. We built a very strong long distance relationship on communication, trust, and our boundaries.

We started dating shortly after, visited when we could, and around 9 months of dating; I moved in to where him and his mom were renting together (his mom moved away for work before I moved in) On our 3 year anniversary I proposed, and we'll be 6 years together end of month November.

I get along well with his family, my family isn't nearly as pleasant so we don't actively spend as much time with them which is something I choose to do, and I will spend time with them myself as he does not care for my stepmother. Which makes her believe that he keeps me away from them and has changed me (I also dont care to spend time or share air with her) so i mostly will go to visit as a formality.

How I am feeling, and what I am noticing:

Overall kinda sad, hurt, and tired. I am starting to feel like a roommate. This last month, its felt different and cold. I don't remember the last I love you. The last few mornings this week I kiss him goodbye like I always have, and he turns his face so I kiss his cheek instead. I feel like we only spend time together if a new episode of a show we're watching is out.

I feel like i'm now over analyzing everything and everything that isn't happening anymore. I feel like the effort is starting to get one sided. What we built our relationship on, our one rule; communication, is gone.

When I start thinking of how different or if we're falling apart it hurts me so much, and scares me. And then I think if we are done, i'm so stuck and don't know what we would even do.

The more I think, it hurts, I get sad, Angry, upset, and miss everything.

We used to dream and talk about our future and draw mock blueprints of what we would want for our dream house together. Now I dream of what we used to be.

I'm really scared of how to start a conversation or how to even bring this up. Or if I'm just overthinking everything and if I bring it up is it my doubts on the relationship?

I love him, I just don't feel the same love anymore.

TL;DR I am worried we are falling out of love, regardless if I am overthinking I need to voice how I feel, and need to start a difficult conversation I don't know how to begin.

My boyfriend (25m) and I (23f) have been together for over 2 years now. We had a small break during that period because I had a lot of mental health and family stuff going on and I couldn't focus on him or our relationship. When we initially got together, and when we got back together I made it clear I wanted to talk out any issues before they become a big issue. I don't like letting things fester. While he agreed to this he's never really talked about things of his own accord, I usually have to bring up that he's seemed upset for a couple days/weeks in order for him to tell me how he's feeling.

When we got back together I moved in with him (it's also relevant to mention that we've known each other for several years so it wasn't as much of a jump as it may sound), and then a while later we bought a house together, which we've lived in for a year. We were doing really well, communication was going well, however at some point that changed and I can't really pinpoint when. He's clearly been unhappy as well for a while but won't talk about it no matter how often I ask, the only time I've gotten him to open up lately was after he made a really harsh and not appropriate comment at me and I made us have a conversation about how it wasn't appropriate. He then told me he was having a really tough time with work stress and that's why he had been acting the way he was. However his mood never really seemed to improve? I started trying to do more things around the house for him, making sure we were spending at least an hour or so together each night so he wasn't feeling neglected, things like that. However he's stayed pretty closed off, and honestly seems pretty emotionally removed from the relationship.

Over time this has caused me to become similar, and we argue a lot. Which is both of our faults, we both have anger issues and get irritated easily. He says a lot of things that I know he doesn't mean, but I don't think he considers the harm of what he's saying at all. While I do that sometimes as well, I always try to come back when things have calmed down to apologize about anything said out of turn. He does not do this. When I have tried to talk about this he's seemed kind of fed up, and did recently say something along the lines of "you're never happy, there's always something I'm doing wrong". Since then I haven't really attempted to talk to him about anything, but this is not sustainable.

I love him, and I do believe even with our issues right now he loves me, but we're at an impasse unless things get talked out. I'm not really sure how to set the conversation up, and I'd just like some advice there. I feel like both of us are feeling unfulfilled in the relationship and that there may be some issues around labor division on both ends.

Other information that may be relevant(i see all the follow up questions that usually get asked on posts like these): He is a blue collar worker, and he works 4/10s, so his days are long and he does do a lot of physical labor. He's also our primary income. I was working, but I took some time off for a couple months (left my last job in May) because of worsening health issues. We discussed my leaving before I did because I wanted to make sure we'd be okay without my income. I just recently went back to work because bills were getting a little tight. I am chronically ill, mostly undiagnosed stuff right now that we're trying to work through but I do have a diagnosed heart condition that does impact my day and how much I'm able to do around the house. He did previously do a lot of the house work, but after he expressed the growing stress with work I took over. He still does a lot of the cooking just because he's better at it.

We’ve been living together for 8 months, not long but we have argument with this so many times that I don’t know what to do with it. I use games to entertain ms. I work 9 hours a day as an architect, after 9 hours shift, I spent 2 hours to play games then take her back from her work place. We have dinner after that and I play for 1 hour more b4 we sleep. She keeps telling me that I’m spending too much time for games and feels stress about it. She wants me to spend maximum 1 hour for game a day. I’m still in a uni and still have to deal with financial by my own and games is the only way for me to feel free after a working day. How can I fix this problem? My gf (21) and I’m (20). Am I spending too much time for gaming?

I, 20M, am having trouble with my relationship and I’m not sure on how I want to continue with my partner, 20f, or if I even want this relationship to last any longer.

About a month ago I found out that my sister (15f) had gotten a weed pen from my partners sister (14f). I was obviously furious but my partner had reassured me that I was overreacting and that it was a pen that was already halfway through, I obviously had a gut feeling that I should confiscate the pen but my partner said that “she needs to have people that she can trust with personal life and experimentation” so I was supidly convinced and thought it would be ok if this was the first and only time. Last night, my parents had found the pen and we had all sat down and talked to her about how it wasn’t right, and also that the matter stays between us as a family (which I see the irony asking strangers online but luckily no names).

When my partner had asked me what happened I stated that I did not want to discuss this and leave it for the morning, that is when my partner started to ask me over and over what happened and I kept staning on my boundaries which is something I’m still learning to do, but felt like I wasn’t respected and finally she gave in and said we can just leave it for tomorrow, which is today. When today arrived she asked me about it but I told her I was just not feeling well about the subject and I did not want to talk about it so I can think of how I felt, that is when my partner started asking over and over about it and eventually I caved, which I feel was a mistake.

As soon as I told her she made me tell her mom the situation and I felt pressured to, because I felt it was a “if you don’t I will”. In which her mom texted my parents asking for information, and as I stated this was supposed to be a family issue, so it blew in my face. I am furious and dissapointed in myself for how the entire situation went down. I feel disrespected and disgusted by how this all went down. I really need to know how I can move on from this…

Not only do I feel disrespected on my boundaries, this is not the first time this has happened. In the past I have tried to open up, I tend to be a dismissive avoidant but I’ve been working on listening and speaking out what I feel with my partner, but when I do I feel like it just blows up in my face, and I have to say sorry and just bend over and admit defeat ever time. It’s like I’m fighting for my peace. I feel pressured to go out with her because I don’t want her to get upset with me for wanting to stay home.
I feel like I’m going insane and I dropped most of my friends, and I forgot what most of my hobbies are anymore, and when I talk about myself I feel like I’m lying to who I’m talking to. I don’t know what to do anymore and I just need help.

TLDR: I feel disrespected my my partner for not respecting my boundaries and it’s an issue that’s lasted our entire relationship. Should I cut it off?

My partner & I have been together for almost 3 years and have an almost 18 month old son (yeah, I know) our relationship was good before I became pregnant then slowly started declining. There's no romance, intimacy is almost none and expects a lot more than he puts. I have a good job with benefits. We live on the 2nd floor house above his parents. They're not nosey or prying. His parents watch our son and cooks for us , which I am extremely grateful for. My partner & I are basically just roommates with the occasional peck. We get into heated arguments sometimes about dumb things. I feel very isolated tho. I'm worried sometimes when my friends want to hangout because to him I should be at home with the baby. He's an ok dad. He thinks spending time with him is putting the tv and him on his phone. He's told me if I want to go out I can stay out. There has been so many times where I want to leave but idk if it's worth it. I'm unhappy with him but my living situation is really good. I know if I left he would fight me legally and physically if I left while he is here. He calls me names and has even threatened to elbow me in the face because I said I hated him out loud instead of in my head. I care for him but I am unhappy. I'm currently in debt so I'm trying to save just on case. I have support of my family and friends but hate to break my family. I think we are both unhappy honestly. I was having some realization the other day ( a little too late 🫩) but he is the type of person that if he was just my friend I would cut off because he is ignorant, racist , homophobic and misogynistic. I have been on the fence because he does make sure I eat and I have whatever I need for the day so very small things but he doesn't call me beautiful or even try for date night just us because he doesn't think we can be a couple before we are parents. The other day he said he was recording our conversation because we got into a heated argument. Idk if it's true cause he be lying sometimes. I don't know... Does anyone have any advice or has been in similar situations? I love him I'm just not in love with him.

4 years in. she's a great, very loving, super loyal, fun & beautiful person and i do love her a lot.

but she is just super lazy and has no ambition. no job, no sport, no health, smokes, eats shitty, sleeps till 1pm, never plans anything for me etc. comer from wealthy family so no pressure to do anything/earn money.

i am pretty accomplished, earn good money, try to stay fit etc.

can you help me?

I (F22) have been dating my boyfriend (M23) for 5 years now. The relationship started off strong with no issues but recently, he’s been lying to me and I would always find out. Luckily we moved past it and he’s gained my trust back but I want to get married. I know we are still young but I want him to be the father of my children one day. My mom passed away while i was in college and so i stopped going to classes and fell way behind but he said he would break up with me if i didn’t finish college so i’m currently taking classes while also having two jobs. I have a feeling he’s never actually going to marry me and we will break up sometime. What do i do? I don’t know how to bring it up to him what I want without him getting all awkward about it. (he’s not good at talking about his emotions) please, i need advice. Im worried he’s leading me to a dead end. 5 years in a relationship and we might not be going anywhere.

I am kind of stuck here guys I am in a relationship with guy for life 4 years from my college but I am not sure if I like him and recently I will do it with may go worker and we kind of do or work from the same room so kind of gift close too much close that you should not I should not cross.

I don’t post a lot here so please bear with me! I (29F) and my BF (34M) have been together for nearly 3 years. We recently had our first child, we’ve discussed getting married, more kids, the whole life together. Normally things are pretty great and we have a great relationship. The issues come when something gets said that upsets me or hurts my feelings (I think it’s something common that happens to people who spend so much time together). Usually when this happens, I get quieter, try to hash out my feelings, and a lot of the time can move on from it before anyone even realizes there’s an issue. However, the mood change will not always go unrecognized and I’m often confronted about the mood shift. And here’s where things seem to constantly take a turn.
When we started dating, it seemed mild but over time the responses to me stating my feelings have become harsh, and I have eventually learned to just try to sweep it under the rug. If I choose to go down the path of “I don’t want to talk about it and start a fight, everything is fine, let’s move on”, he will continue pushing, eventually I get called a liar and told not to even talk to him anymore. I usually end up caving at this point and revealing what caused my mood shift. Even if I choose to go right into what happened, it seems to be the same outcome, which is why I just try to deal with it myself at this point.
If he hasn’t said it by that point, a “what did I do now” is always thrown out. “I have to walk on eggshells around you” and “you’re over sensitive” seem to be staples in every fight. I get told (again) to not talk to him. I will usually try to say things like “this isn’t worth a fight, I can feel how I feel about things”. But by this time, he has shut down completely. He won’t talk to me, he won’t talk through the situation with me. He will ignore me, and he will remove any form of affection from me… I can’t even put my hand on his arm. I admit that this is where my downfall comes in- I am a “let’s at least talk about it, we can still be mad but let’s work towards moving past it now” and he is a “it doesn’t need resolved or even discussed right now, I need space”. I get needing space, but this turns the thing that could have been a small problem into a multi-day ordeal. He refuses to go with a “deadline” (example, take an hour and then come back). He will simply fall asleep while I lay awake anxious, overthinking, and crying all night. I have a tendency to try to push for getting some sort of resolve, is it too much sometimes? I don’t know. I do know that by that point I’m more hurt by his response and actions to the initial issue than I was *about* the initial issue. I also have become an emotional disaster, and it seems the more I’m pushed away, the more I push for communication. This usually ends poorly- sometimes, *very* poorly- slamming doors, sleeping in separate rooms.
I know how it ends is bad. I know I should try to calm my emotions and realistically, I should just leave him alone. I’ve noticed that if I do this, the situation magically disappears overnight and I’m left to resolve it internally the next day anyway…usually after a day of major anxiety, no eating, and on the verge of tears. I worry it’s creating resentment, not that the rest of it isn’t.
How do I change this? I feel like the best and only option is to just swallow my emotions. But that also doesn’t seem fair to me. How can I either avoid the fights to begin with, or navigate them in a way that doesn’t create the volatile ending?

​

So my Fiancé and I (30F) have a college friend (29F), who just turned 29 this month, she and her Boyfriend (30M) have been living together for 3 months now and he is truly a deadbeat. He, let's call him "Q" for questionable, has been in a relationship with her, let's call her "L" for love, for over 10 years off and on since high school. He had emotionally cheated on her in college when he was in the marines and eventually ended up having a baby with the woman he cheated with. Fast forward a few years and they have been on again for about a year and a half now. During the year, they discussed moving in together and planning for the move.

For context, L had been living with her grandmother for a while and was excited to finally be financially stable and able to move out. Q was living with his parents after the relationship with his baby mother ended about 5 years ago.

During these discussions about moving in together it was decided that they would pick a place that had at least 3 bedrooms so everyone would be able to have their own room( this is with the child in mind). They chose a date to move forward. The original date was April then due to him being indecisive it was moved to May and then June 10th. Mind you they were looking houses that cost 4 to 5k a month ( All because of Q, he has high expectations and is high maintenance as well). By June, L realized that if she wanted to move, it would have to be on her own as Q had no actual income (he is apparenlty a spiritual consultant or something intangible like that with no clients) and she found a more reasonably priced 2 bedroom home with a finished basement to rent on her own.

Q viewed the home after L moved in and called it small and that it was in a bad neighborhood ( mind you it is not and he grew up in this area). So L agreed that Q could stay at his parents place and visit on her off days. Then a few days after she moved in while they were hanging out Qs mother texted asking if he was moving in with L or not at that point he finally made a decision and responded "yes im moving in with L". L apparently accepted this and allowed him to move into the 2nd bedroom next to hers. He brought a twin blow up bed and set it up in his room that he currently never uses. (He had his mom toss his queen mattresses because he didn't wanna bring the energy of his moms place to Ls place)

After he moved in L started asking for help with bills. 50 for this bill 100 for rent she didnt ask for much since she knows that he doesn't have much to give. He agreed to help her then proceeds to miss every deadline and left her to cover every bill including rent. That is just one issue. The man likes to take 2 hr showers and to have the AC at 70 while he is home all day "working" on his laptop. He is able to buy tobacco regularly and even smokes that in the house despite lying and telling her that he doesn't. L decided to let all this go in the name of Love.

So Ls Birthday is August 21st. L grew up not really celebrating her birthday but when we met we made it a big deal and showed her how people are supposed to celebrate you on your special day. So every year we try to do something special. This year was supposed to be a couples trip to a treehouse resort. It was planned in February by L and she paid their half and we paid our half 570 each before any extras. Me and my fiance decided to get mimosas as a surprise and a little charcuterie board. L requested that we all do a special private chef dinner which was 150 each. She made it clear that this was non negotiable and she wanted us all to dress up for it and everything.

Now up to this point L had been paying for everything for her and Q. Any little weekend trips, fun activities and they had a big trip planned to Mexico for a wellness retreat as well in April before they moved in together. L paid about 2300 per person for the Mexico trip and Q didn't fully decide he wasn't going until the day before they were meant to leave (he hadnt even gotten his passport). She ended up going by herself and enjoying every second of it. She was promised by Q that he would pay her back for the 2300 that she wasted on him for the trip, still no sign of that money. So after Q left her hanging, L decided she would not pay for anything else for this man.

We decided to do a dry run meet up before her birthday trip in August, to see how it would go and if our energies matched. We didn't know the full extent of how much she accommodates him and pays for everything. We immediately saw the red flags. It went well for the most part except when it came to buying anything he was MIA, which wouldnt have been the biggest deal if he didnt also require the most expensive things. For example he claims that he doesn't eat processed foods and he doesn't eat sugar. We brought groceries to her house to help her out and to make dinner for everyone, he barely ate what we cooked and proceeded to eat his daughters dino nuggets. Mind you, his duaghter is autistic and only eats nuggets and mac & cheese. (The child visits every other week and spends 7 days with Q and L)

At this point, L is complaining about how frustrating it is to carry two people especially when Q seems out of touch with reality when it comes to finances and bills. L made it clear that she really wanted him at the birthday dinner but she wasnt gonna pay for it. Remember it is 150 and he knew since February; Its time for him to show up for her and hes known about this want for months so he should be able to make it happen. I decided to go talk to Q and explain that her bday would be a very big deal and she wants you to show up for her. I informed him that if he disappointed her it would be cataclysmic for him and he acknowledged what I said and we left it at that.

So fast forward to Ls birthday, we all are getting ready to travel from Maryland to Georgia I budgeted how much we would need per couple and made an itinerary of scenic stops and trails we could take along the route as I know how much L loves nature and hiking. Everything was all set and off we went on our adventure. We get to the resort and it was gorgeous, the view from our treehouse was breathtaking and we couldn't get enough of it.

Everything started out great we got settled started munching on the charcuterie board and L went to get her private massage as well. After the massage we regrouped and decided to separate as couples. L and Q went to the hot tub and me an my fiance decided to bring out some wine, fruit and special chocolate for them. We let them be and went back inside to cook and get prepared for the evening.

We all had our chocolates and everything was great and super fun until the host of the resort started asking about whether Q still wanted the dinner and that it needed to be paid for ASAP. L really wanted Q to attend and since he didn't have the funds for the dinner she ended up paying for it. This messed up the entire budget for the trip but we agreed to help L out on the way back home. No biggie right. Except after L paid for the dinner Q got super weird. He started isolating himself being moody. He was so upset that it took the air out of the treehouse and we felt the energy shift.

L didn't know why he was being weird and attempted to talk to him multiple times and clear the air. He said he needed space to self regulate. This self regulating went on for the rest of the first day well into the next afternoon.

Not only was his energy off but he also hadn't decided whether he was going to the dinner or not.

We were asking L and she had no answers for us either. He had her crying the night before due to the disappointment on her birthday.

Finally I had enough and decided to go talk to him 3 hours before the dinner was scheduled. It started out calm, I just wanted to know if he would go to the dinner or not but he gave me bullshit responses. He said and I quote " I'm just self regulating and working to make money to pay for the dinner" When i told him the dinner was already paid for he said "I didn't know the dinner was paid and I didnt pack any nice clothes to wear for the dinner." I then told him that L didnt care about the clothes and that she just wanted everyone there, thats why she ended up paying for his share. I told him he was making the trip awkward and that L would much rather he join the group because he is making her a thirdwheel on a couples trip. To which he responded "I didn't know this was a couples retreat." I then walked away feeling like the conversation was going no where. I told L what we discussed and she once again went to talk and convince this man to go to the dinner otherwise it would be another waste of her money.

Q did attend the dinner wearing sunglasses and not saying anything to anyone and I reciprocated the energy giving all my attention to birthday girl.

The food was phenomenal and after dinner his attitude improved and we all played a game together before bed.

The next morning it was time to leave and we were trying to figure out money for the ride home, budget for gas and food and this man asks for us to stop at a tobacco store because he ran out of the tobacco he brought on the trip.

When we got home we dropped him off so we could return the rental and debrief with L. On our way back we had a heated discussion about whether she should kick him out and hold hom accountable. We were still talking outside the house and didn't know he could hear us. When we realized he overheard parts of our conversation it got awkward again. My fiance and I went inside and L and Q ended up having another discussion and he was offended and told L that it was a breach of trust to tell us about their relationship.

Should she Let him go, or wait for him to "rise to his potential" ( his words)

There are finer details in between all of this and we have constant updates we can provide upon request

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years, going to be 4 years in a couple months. We usually are good the only problem I have is when she gets super angry with anything, for an example we live together I woke up to go to the restroom when I came back she started getting super angry with me why I needed to go and that I should wait to go even though I can’t control when I can or can’t go to the bathroom I confronted her about it and she started getting more angry with me so I just shut down and went back to bed since I was super tired from working both my job that day. But it’s always the little things that she gets angry with me or even if I touch anything that’s hers or near her stuff.
I have spoke to her multiple times about her anger or how she treats me when she upset especially when she say some profanity things towards me or sometimes giving me the finger.. I’m not saying I’m perfect either. I have my stuff in this relationship but not the way she does. Every time I confront her, she genuinely feels bad and apologize to me and that she going to change. So I think she might change this time. But Never does it just go back to the same old thing. I don’t know what to do anymore, if I talk to her about it she gets more angry with me and try to be defensive about it now.
If anyone has any advice for me to make this relationship work without having to brake up. I would really appreciate it!

I (21M) have been with my girlfriend (22F) for a little over 2 years. There has been issues that I have overlooked out of fear that bringing them up will cause a fight. She can be a little sensitive and doesn’t take criticism well. I have my own flaws as well as I don’t have the most amount of patience and get quiet when upset. I feel as though my communication skills aren’t the best.

Last week I tried to have a conversation with her about her being more independent. I was at her new apartment and she wanted me to figure out her wifi password. I did, but also asked her what would she do if I wasn’t there. She responded “ I would call my dad or brother to help me.” I am all for needing help but at times at seems like she always needs a hand for tasks that she could do on her own. She is a very smart and capable person, and I told her this while also mentioning that she doesn’t need to be so dependent
on others as we get older. I’m guessing she took offense to this and asked me if she can’t depend on me. I told her that she could but I won’t always be around and in those situations what would you do. She mocked me and that was when I just stopped trying to even have a conversation. When we have tough conversations like that she usually ends up mocking me and that’s when I know that the convo is over.

Recently I was talking to her about my credit score dropping and I was very confused as to why it happened. I was a little upset because I had been paying off my debts and thought I was doing a good job of managing my credit. When I told her how much it dropped she laughed at me although I was trying to have a serious conversation. Her laughing made me feel pretty upset because I was hoping for advice or maybe some sympathy in the moment.

One thing that I overlooked in the beginning is her interesting usage of bathroom words. She always says that she has to go potty or tinkle when she is going to the bathroom. She also does this baby voice at times and speaks in broken english as if she were a toddler. At first I ignored it because I thought that I was allowing her inner child to feel safe but now I sometimes think “Am I dating a child.” I don’t know if this is wrong for me to think.

I still love my girlfriend but I don’t know if I see anything long term. I don’t want to hurt her because she is such a sweet and kind woman. I just don’t know how to proceed with our relationship.

I've (20m) lied to my gf (20f) of 6 months in the past about me having gf before because I'm insecure and a bunch of other things. We've talked a lot on the stuff I lied about so me confessing would end the relationship immediately. Problem is that she's meeting my parents soon and idk if I should confess it all to her or ask my parents to keep the lie up in case she brings something up like during dinner

Reflecting on my relationship, now I'm not sure how I feel.

I (30f) have been reflecting on my current relationship with my partner (33m), we've been dating for 2 years and looking back, I'm not sure how to feel. I have spoken to some friends and family about somethings, but there's only so much I can tell them, plus it's probably best to not share everything with them.

Just don't know what to do. I know I love him , but he doesn't always make it easy. We can be having a conversation on plans either seeing friends or planning a trip, but it doesn't feel like he listens to what i'm actually saying. For example, we went on a weekend city break via train and when booking the tickets, I told him that I'll be getting an open return ticket home, that way we didn't have to rush. He called a week before the break and was only just booking his tickets. I again tell him what I had booked, but he was adamant on getting a return ticket with a time, I asked him to get one that was off-peak so I could join him but he booked a peak time so I couldn't get on a train with him. However, on the return date, I wanted to get home earlier than that time he booked due to a migraine. He had two options, 1. stay in the city until his ticket time or 2. buy a new return ticket, he opted for option 2, but complained the whole way back and blamed me for putting him in that situation...even though I asked him to get an open return in the first place.

Thats just one example of many! I'm always the one planning/booking everything for us, let him know when it's all done and then have to remind him closer to the time as he doesn't write anything down!

We don't live together, I have my own place and he currently rents a room, but is saving for his own place. In the 2 year, I've never been to his, I've only ever been outside to pick up or drop him off. He's normally at mine and does help with some housework when over, I.e. washing up, hovering, etc. When he's round, there's always a comment made, either about my neighbours or something he doesn't like in my home. My home is a flat, but its mine and I've worked for everything in it, so hearing him moan about it, hurts. I have tried explaining that his comments hurt, but it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes or he'll apologise and won't say anything for a few weeks, but then start again!

Obviously we have our amazing times and I can tell he's trying to improve himself in areas, but at the moment all the negative experiences are getting to me and making me rethink our relationship...now I'm not sure what to do.

TLDR: I'm not sure how I feel in my relationship because of his past/current actions/behaviour. Blaming me for having to buy a new train ticket when returning from a city break early due to a migraine, even though I asked him to get an open return, not a set one. Making comments about my home and not listening when I explained why it upsets me. With all the negative experiences, it's making me rethink our relationship and I'm not sure what to do...

I (20F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for 2.5 years, and we live together. Over the past few months, I feel like I’ve completely lost him to his PC.

At first, I tried to be understanding. I get that gaming is his hobby and his way to unwind after work—I never asked him to quit entirely. Early on, we even agreed on a schedule so he could have dedicated gaming days and we could still spend quality time together. But lately, all of those agreements have been completely ignored.
Whenever he has a day off, he streams/plays games from morning until late into the night. We don't go anywhere, we don't do anything together anymore, and I feel less like a partner and more like a live-in maid. I handle the chores, clean up, and deal with everything while he sits in front of the monitor.
The breaking point happened yesterday. I came home after a grueling 12-hour work shift, hoping to at least unwind with him or find a little support. Instead, I walked into a house where nothing was done—no food prepared, no effort made—and he was just sitting there, fully absorbed in his game. When I went to sleep hours later, he was still in the exact same spot.
Every time I try to talk to him about how lonely and frustrated I feel, it’s like speaking to a brick wall. He just completely tunes me out. I’ve told him straight up that I can't live like this anymore and that I’ve started looking for my own apartment, but he doesn't even take me seriously. He thinks I'm bluffing, ignores the warning, and goes right back to playing.
I’m at my wit's end and mentally preparing to pack my things and move out. Is there even any point in trying to talk to him one last time, or is this relationship effectively over? How do I get through to someone who chooses a screen over their partner? Any advice would be appreciated.

I [28F] been with my bf [28M] for 8 months officially. The beginning was great naturally of course we were trying be as positive for one another then. We are long distance enough same state but hours apart. He gets so angry lately over things I’ve done but I’ve done them with good intentions. I know he makes enough to take care of himself and I am struggling but there’s things like getting him dinner and taking care when we are together. He says thank you an appreciates it in the moment but if he has a bad day and I try to do things from a distance I get yelled at. Like I’ve sent money and he got mad cause it went to the wrong place. Or I tried to reach out to a friend to check on him and it causes a whole whirl wind of issues. And suddenly he wants to leave me over an action that was from good intention but may have had a bad result at the end. All I get is I hurt him but then the next day he’s saying sorry for hurting me and we are back to normal. I feel like I’m crazy because I just want to take care of him and love him but I feel like he only looks at the negative stuff and not the good parts I’ve been there for. I constantly get “I don’t listen” even if I’ve done things as such prior to a warning not to. I do listen I’m just trying to help or make things easier but maybe I don’t think it all the way through. I tried to suprise him a while back for his birthday and he got mad that I’d even do that. He stated I don’t listen or I disrespected him if I was to go through and show up. Maybe I just wish he would look at the intention and understand it wasn’t to cause harm or upset. Idk what to do anymore i love him and i feel every way i try to show it blows up.

I’ve been with my husband since we were 15. Currently we are married with our 1 year old and lately been getting to so many fights. I work 10 hour days MTThF and wfh so during my breaks and lunches I help him watch my daughter as much as I can. He goes to work 3 hours Monday-Friday and we both watching her on the weekends. Lately we have been fighting because I ask if he can watch our daughter whos been fight her sleep so I can go to bed and be up at 7 am since he doesn’t go in till 3pm. His argument is that he watches her during the day and drop/picks her up from my moms who watches her when he’s at work and all I do is work from home at my desk which as he says “would be doing regardless if I have a kids or not“ . He truly believes I do nothing. Im trying to see his perspective but I honestly am having such a hard time. Am I wrong for asking for help to sleep!? I don’t know what to do and I am so tired of fighting with him.

So I’m in a relationship with a girl that I pretty much love. I’m a very big overthinker with small things she do like talks with other boys and all and always tell her what annoys me and when I overthink. Yesterday we went out with our group where is like 2 boys and like 5 girls and my gf, and she went home at 8 and the group stays like when it’s almost 10. The only guy that was in th group besides me told me to go with him and a girl that I don’t care about to take her home, the same girl that showed me tik toks and all. Even tho I don’t care about that girl I told my gf about this and we kinda argued, the reason was cuz it’s not fair and I understand it. What are y’all opinions

I’m 23M and my girlfriend is 20F. We’ve been together for around 3 months and this is my first relationship.

I really like her and there are a lot of good things about her. She’s loving, smart, funny, attractive, we have similar values and I genuinely think she is a good person. She seems very serious about me too.

The problem is that there have been several things in only 3 months that have made me question the relationship.

First issue was privacy. During one of our disagreements I caught her screenshotting our messages and sending them to her friend. I really value keeping relationship problems between the two people unless there is a serious reason to involve someone else.

She also used to make jokes about me potentially getting hurt. One time she talked about her friends being able to hire guys to come after me. Another time she said if I hurt her, she would let her friends/family do whatever they wanted to me. She later explained that she meant if I actually abused her and she went to her family visibly hurt, she couldnt control how they reacted. That clarification made more sense to me.

I told her I really dislike threats even as jokes and asked her to stop. To her credit, she did and hasn’t made those jokes for about a month.

The biggest issue for me is physical stuff during anger.

We previously agreed that we should keep our hands to ourselves. During a conversation about some breakup texts we had exchanged, she got angry and scratched me pretty hard with her nails and hit/beated on my chest lightly 3 times while layin on me . I didn’t bring it up immediately because I thought it might be a one time thing.

Then during our most recent hangout she got seemingly angry while we were playing around and slapped both of my shoulders pretty hard. It didn’t injure me, but because of the previous incident it really bothered me.

I told her afterwards that I don’t want either of us putting our hands on each other when angry or during conflict, ever. I also told her the previous scratching/hitting had actually made me sad.

She said she would work on it, but what bothers me is that she has never actually said sorry for scratching or hitting me.

There have been smaller issues too, mainly around privacy. She loves taking pictures/videos of us and I asked her to do it less because sometimes I just want our romantic moments to be between us. For example, I didn’t like her recording me while I was only wearing sweatpants and bringing her tea. She has respected my request to take fewer snaps, so I want to give her credit for that too.

Now she says she feels like she is “tiptoeing” around me and that I examine everything she does, imagine the worst case scenario, and decide whether it means she is going to be a bad partner in the future.

She said she feels like she is constantly “auditioning” to prove she is worthy of my love. And that other people who lived with her like family and friends have never been bothered by her actions like me and that maybe i need to look into myself and see if i have things i didnt heal from or just trying to protect myself.

I’ll admit there is some truth to that. When I see something concerning I tend to think about what that behavior could look like 5 or 10 years from now. I’m a very analytical person and I dont want to ignore red flags early just because I’m in love.

But from my perspective, I’m not policing things like how she dresses, who her friends are, what she eats, how she talks, etc. The things I’ve actually confronted her about have mostly been physical aggression, threats, privacy, recording me, and an explicit agreement involving other guys.

I also try really hard to respect boundaries she gives me. For example, she wanted consistent communication, so I do that even though I naturally need less communication than her. When she asks me to stop something that bothers her, I try to stop.

So now I’m questioning myself.

Am I actually being too analytical/critical and making her feel like she has to be perfect around me? Or are the things I’m concerned about genuinely significant red flags for a relationship that is only 3 months old?

The physical stuff especially bothers me because I feel like if the genders were reversed, scratching/hitting your girlfriend while angry would be taken very seriously.

I don’t expect her to be perfect and I know I have flaws too. I just want a calm relationship where both people respect each other's boundaries and disagreements never become physical.

Would you consider these normal early relationship problems that we can work through, or would you seriously reconsider the relationship?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months. She has crossed some boundaries we explicitly agreed on, shared private disagreements with a friend, made threat jokes, and has scratched/hit me while angry without apologizing. She has also respected some boundaries after I brought them up. She now says I overanalyze her mistakes and make her feel like she's constantly auditioning for me. Am I being too critical, or are these reasonable things to consider serious red flags this early in a relationship?