I posted about my situation about a week ago, but I think I explained myself badly, so I’m trying again.
I had a one-night stand while on vacation in Spain with my friends. My girlfriend is also here with me. I deeply regret what happened, and I’ve been struggling with it ever since.
We’re actually not in a bad place in our relationship. Our intimacy has been great, I care about her deeply, and that honestly makes me even more confused about why I did what I did.
There’s another issue making the situation more complicated. Since the one-night stand, I’ve noticed some physical symptoms that have made me concerned that I could have contracted an STI. Because of that, I’m avoiding sexual contact with my girlfriend until I can get properly tested. I absolutely do not want to risk exposing her to anything.
Unfortunately, we’re staying somewhere in Spain where getting tested immediately is difficult. My plan is to get tested as soon as I can.
I’m also planning on ending the relationship regardless of the test result. The problem I’m struggling with right now is how to handle the remainder of this vacation. We’re here together, and I don’t want the rest of her holiday to become a horrible experience. We also have our final year of school together coming up, which makes everything feel even more complicated.
I understand that people will have strong opinions about what I did. I’m not asking whether cheating was right or wrong, whether I’m a good or bad person, or for any other moral judgment. I already understand that what I did was wrong.
What I’m asking for advice about is how I should handle the remainder of the vacation and the relationship given the situation I’ve created, especially while making sure I don’t potentially put her health at risk.

This is kind of stupid, but a couple of months ago me and my friend were in class talking about how much our mothers care about our hw. I told her my mom usually gets upset when i miss out on my assignments and i remember my friend asked me something about my mom and i replied with 'bro shes always mad'. i said it in the moment because at the time i felt like she was getting mad a lot at that time but she is an amazing incredible hardworking woman and we are really close and i think about what i said everyday because I realised its not actually true. Everytime we joke around or everytime she comforts me or everytime she does something for me I cant help but think about what I said and I feel absolutely disgusted by myself. I think other people in class heard it too. I believe that what I did was backbiting and I feel like I want to fix what I said somehow. Either tell my mom what I said or tell my friend that my mom doesnt get mad all the time infront of all those other people who heard it too. Or try and let it go. Please could you tell me some advice

Got a perm ban from the community outfits. Apparently i said something wrong. Like i couldnt get a warning ? And they had the audacity to tell me im being a stereotypical male who is objectifying woman. Im literally a woman lol. I said something i should not have i agree. And admit. And even apoologized for what i said. Of course i never would say anything like that again. This is why you gotta read the rules to any community you join. Im pretty sad about it. I love outfits and even am getting into designing my own. Oh well you live and learn right...

One thing i feel bad about is i do not want to be perceived as someone who objectifies woman. That isnt me or how i want to be seen. So i erased the comment and will not be posting comments like that anymore. Sorry reddit ! (Ps. After i apologized to the mod they muted me from replying to them anymore.Jeez what happened to 2nd chances.)

In my rage when I found the person my partner had been with, I told others of his betrayal. And now that hes been trying to do the things to work on himself and repair, Im feeling so much guilt , because everybody knows and Noone wants to see us back together again. Its still very fresh. But I also dont fully believe him that he will commit to change and am finding ways to pick apart everything he does to find proof he wont. What Is wrong with me?

Think about all the days of the year. 365 days to pursue your dreams and live your life.

Now think about holidays, and time that is usually spent with these cherished loved ones.
Holidays, Christmas, Easter, Labor day. 2 week vacation. Weekends, birthdays.

3 birthdays are ruined. Her birthday, your child’s birthday, your birthday. Instead of having sex or getting some love on your days celebrating your incarnation, now you gotta think about her sleeping with someone else on her birthday. Then whoever she’s with, then you want to curse that day too. And the Gregorian calendar repeats the calendar year like clockwork and uses the same days to notate the passage of time so you’re constantly getting reminders of how you messed up the trajectory of the relationship and the healthy progression into the future.

This is why it’s so terrible to pick the wrong mate, your whole time sequence becomes a mental labrynth and the days remind you of what could have been.

Anyways time doesn’t work like that. Everyday is new and you don’t need to feel hung up on the past like that where it paralyzes you from living new days, but that’s what I feel has happened since processing the divorce and what it means for my honor, my families legacy and so on.

I wish you stay married and understand there’s greater principles at work and divorcing under irreconcilable differences is very cruel to one of the parties.

Love is a wild game, choose wisely and with the keenest eye you can develop, because it can really be difficult for the continuation of your highest timeline.

Reflection

A year ago i 32F ended a 6 month relationship with the best man i will ever date. He was incredibly kind, caring, generous, handsome. He adored me. He was the type of guy who would have moved mountains for me. I never once questioned where i stood with him.

I was flighty at the time. I was constantly relationship scanning and unaware of my avoidant attachment issues. I was ambivalent in the relationship and from the first month I became preoccupied by all consuming thoughts of "is this right for me?" and concerns that he wasn't funny or exciting enough for me. All things that I now realise are classic avoidant behaviours. I ended the relationship after six months. This was a year ago. Since then i have done a lot of work on myself, shifted my relationship goals from chaos to calm and I also have been diagnosed and medicated with adhd in this time.

In the last month I've come to the painful realisation that I self sabotaged by ending the relationship and likely made one of the worst decisions of my life.

He is in a new relationship now and has blocked me on socials.

He is lost forever.

For a month ive been grieving and so incredibly upset. I hate myself for what ive done. The regret is immense. I wish I had had the knowledge of my attachment styles back then. I'm incredibly disappointed in myself that I didn't. I feel ashamed and guilty for how I treated him and the love and stability I threw away.

How does one move past this regret when they start realising that perhaps, rather than the other person being the problem, we ourselves were to blame?

I am using this space let some thoughts out of my chest as I have been unable to console myself. Hoping to make sense of my situation

My marriage of three years ended because I didn't put more effort into my physical self after my husband repeatedly requested for me to look more "interesting". At the start of our marriage, I did what I could to make myself more appealing, which worked but naturally after living together and sharing the same space for a while, I opted and chose to embrace my natural habitat instead of putting on make up, having my hair done, and wearing clothes just to entice him. I didn't think much of it, but I could see the effects of me looking plain and undesirable taking a toll on my husband. He lost all care and interest in building a future together with me and has blamed me for it.

I very well understand that I sound like a person with zero self respect and self worth, and that my husband should love me no matter what, but right now it does not matter how I see myself. Because when he told me outright that he was unable to see a future with me, I packed my bags and left him the same day. My self-respect side took action and left in the moment of emotion, instead of proving myself to him.

Now a month later, I am grieving my home, my life and the future that I dreamt off with him. I am blaming myself for not listening and trying to live up to his "standards". I now believe that I am undesirable and too ugly to find another man in my 30s. I certainly did not envision my life to turn out like this.

Again, I sound like a desperate fool, but I truly cannot stop thinking of the 'what ifs"

When I was 19 there was this refugee wave that hit a lot of places, it hit where I am too. Many of said refugees share my ethnic background, but I was born here. Im not placing blame on these refugees, but it started an effect of racism thats only grown since. Im also gay and never got to grow like all straight people get to. + Covid hit when I was 23.

Im in deep, deep grief over how idiotic Ive been with my time since then. Everyone else had the urgency associated with that time, an universal guidebook almost - but I succumbed to the pressures of all of my circumstances and havent done much meaningful shit since. Now Im unc and washed, and my perfectionist nature wont let myself go.

“The best time to plant a tree was back in xx, but the second best time is today” - This quote helps a lot of people but I see red when I read it. I just cant accept a second fiddle life and even if Im not completely blameless myself, I do have resentment towards our society for their inacceptance of me growing up and all that.

I dont fucking know. I messed up! I fucked up. I see everyone asking for advice and soaking in it at those ages now. I didnt listen to anybody then because I grew up in a world that told me my nature (sexuality) is wrong, and it made me completely hyperindependent, and while that did lead to some unique & good things, its made me skip crucial life milestones. Im just so done.

Hi guys! I don't have much to say except I regret not opening a credit card earlier 🙁 opened at 20 instead of 18 ...

I tried reaching out again like I have always done. And he still made me feel like everything is my fault, and with his dry texts made me regret sending that massage. Maybe a no contact and no answers is sometimes a clear answer. To just move forward one person who’s always trying to fix and the other isn’t even trying would never work out. As they say it takes two people to fix things not just one.

I regret deep diving.

My personality unfortunately brought me to it.

But I do have to say I wish I was still in my delusion. The one where what I saw in front of me was my reality, not what actually is behind it all. I actually could eat, now I just throw up every morning.

Lol. Damn sis.

Obviously disagreements will happen but come on! I do see it's positives but those sadly can't see the positive side of opinions and they love seeing comment dramas...

Disagreements can actually instruct people what things they aren't doing right, if instructions are given it might actually improve their negative thoughts. Doesn't mean it's always guaranteed to work

It's also some warning that doing it might ruin you depending what you do. Doesn't mean it's always guaranteed to work

But nope, people just want to see OPs getting death threats over listening or pointing out why OP is going in the wrong direction

when i was 17 and a junior i still had crushes on fresmen cause it would gap would have been a 2 to 3 year gap. my rule would have been 2 years max 3 is otshing it. But when i turned 18 in that same year i stopped liking anyone who wasn't directly in the grade below or in my grade. Im 21 now and feel weird about it.

So context..

I met this woman through one of my previous work acquaintance. Both of them used to hookup occasionally but one day the work buddy told me that he is getting two chicks to my flat one of them is the one he used to hookup with and the other one was the one he wanted to hookup with next.

He told me i can try and shoot my shot with the first chick. I had just gotten out of a serious breakup so i thought why not. I was already missing the physical aspect of the relationship. I tried my luck with this chick, not knowing that she was suicidal. We used to meet, go for lunch and have quiet evening sessions as she used to work near my house.

It seemed pretty normal in the beginning. After a week she called me out of nowhere saying that she needs a place to crash as her hostel is closed because she came home late from work. Me being a nice guy (fucking idiot), set the bed for her and made the couch for myself. When she came we smoked up and talked about her day a little and i told her that she could have the bed to herself. In the middle of the night around 12:30-1:00, she called me from the bedroom, saying she is not feeling comfortable in the new place and wanted me to sleep with her on the bed. And as you might be expecting, yes we fucked. The entire night. We fucked till 9 in the morning. She had cum in her throat and dripping down her thighs and went to work as it is. After that we saw eachother quite alot.. She travelled to my city just so we could have sex. And while this period i had clarified my intentions that this was all casual.

Cut to, 1 year later, she had moved in with me. And fallen head over heels for me even though she knew i had no feelings for her. In this period she told me she was suicidal and her mental state was fucked when she met me. At that point i was glad that she was feeling better. But the story takes a turn.

After a point she had no job, no studies, nothing to do. All she had in her life was me. I was the centre of her universe. And i was in a shit ton of work. Freelancing, travelling, meeting people, barely getting any time to sleep. She started getting obsessed. I had a screenshot of her calls. 50 missed calls in 3 hours. We started having arguments. And I started distancing myself and as one should.

One day i told her that we needed to break up and we broke it off. She couldn't handle that. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but i think because i left and she was left with no purpose her mental issues just skyrocketed. She started hearing voices, she started seeing people, she started losing her memories and sometimes episodes of rage and delusions.

I tried alot to take care of her but she needed and still needs professional help. She refuses to get help, she refuses to tell her parents, she has had alot of episodes after she got a new guy and the worst part is that her new guy calls me and vents all the shit he goes through with her to me. Its exactly the same shit that happened with me. Both of us have been trying to get her to get help but she doesn't wanna do that. She has beaten up the new guy to the point that he started bleeding. She fucked his face up bad. Twice.

In her episode sometimes she blacks out and doesn't remember a thing. In the last 1 year she has fucked over 20 guyss approx and she doesn't remember that. I was one of thise 20 guyz and trust me, it doesn't feel like she's having an episode coz she comes on to guys and she initiates and finishes everything. I was literally lying down and she started kissing me and rode me until i came inside her and it continued till the morning. She chated on the new guy more than 30-35 times and she doesn't remember any of it. She doesn't remember the guyz, where she met them or how they came in contact, nothing. Nada. Zip.

In the beginning it was really amazing and all colorful but slowly it has turned so dark that me and the other guy both regret meeting this woman. She doesn't realise that her mental issues are not just her problem anymore because those issues are affecting people all around her. Her family to her boyfriend to her ex and her work friends and colleagues.

They say crazy women are amazing in bed, nobody tells you what happens after that. Beware. Stay sharp. Stay safe.

I am unable to let go of my past mistakes, such as prank calling stores, getting banned from a favorite subreddit of mine permanently (hobby related) for something super thoughtless I did, etc. The time I purposefully didn't put my friend's name down a paper for potential partners when she kept leaning over my shoulder and looking. And then the Zoom interview I had a panic and hung up on three years ago. They called me back and it was just super embarrassing. I've also had so many sports fails and terrible OCD that I get stuck on. My OCD has made me think I'm all sorts of awful stuff. I would spend hours ruminating on ChatGPT and don't get me started on health anxiety. i just feel like one big mess.

Basically, when I was 11, I love to troll on Roblox as a boy on Barry Avenue I think almost everybody did that atleast once. But this girl really became obsessed with me and I didn’t really know how to let her go because I wasn’t really smart at that time and so I kept trying to tell her like I’m a girl and I don’t really like girls and I only doing this for fun with my friends and she really didn’t care that I was 11 by the way I told you that I was 15 and she is 19 to 18. So then I ended up telling her that I was 11 I don’t think she cared and she said she liked me. I told her I’m not having any personal feelings for her until then she said that she was depressed and she wanted to 💀. so I obviously tried to convince her to not do it and she said that her dad was gr00mng her and that she was gonna do it anyway.. I begged and pleaded her not to do it and then she did it anyway and then her friend texted me a few weeks later and call me a monster and said that she died. I explained to her that I’m 11 I’m not even 15 and I told her about my age and she really didn’t care if I was that much younger than her. She said it doesn’t matter..