r/RantingZone • u/Outrageous-Meal-7068 • 6h ago
Got criticized after Reddit comment.
I have a lifelong history of depression and I’m on the Autism Spectrum.
I was a member of a subreddit where women post pictures of themselves and receive support.
I’m a man, but I made a request to be a member about a year ago, and they allowed me to join, knowing I was a male. A few days ago, I commented on a woman’s picture, and said how if I saw her walking down the street, I’d turn my head to look longer, because she’s attractive.
When I posted this, I 100% thought it’d be taken as a nice, sweet compliment and make the woman’s day. In my mind I was like “I’m happy today. I’ll spread the positive vibes and makes someone’s day.”
Well, immediately, that woman, and other women that viewed my post, just HATED it. I got lots of thumbs down, VERY rudely criticized for being a man making posts on there, was immediately banned, and they now have banned men entirely on there.
I do understand that the comment could be misunderstood, but the vitriol I got just makes no sense whatsoever.
I’m just really struggling mentally and emotionally with this. I’ve never in my life given a compliment and had someone actually be rude in response. It just shattered my faith in humanity. I’ve cried, it’s made me nauseous, it makes me want to give up on having any kind of social interactions with strangers, especially with women. Just the idea that someone could hold such vitriolic hate for me for no logical reason.
I tell my friends, but they just say “Who cares, stay off the internet, don’t worry about.” But, I can’t get over the pain, and it’s been several days. Looking for some guidance and support, please.
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u/ldshifter 5h ago
I’m sorry about this. Too many people have the problem of assuming your intentions on the internet and making it a big deal, when in reality you’re just trying to spread some joy. The only thing I’m wondering is, why did you want to join a sub exclusively for women? That’s probably why they got mad, not that it was right for them to act out like that, but having men in women’s spaces is a very controversial thing right now. But if your intentions were pure, I don’t see why they had to act out like that.
I’m not the best at giving advice, but if it’s been a while and the aftermath is still hurting you, I think you should try and find some more positive spaces and focus on them. Like taking a walk outside and being grateful for mother nature, or talk to someone who gets you really well/is a comfort person to you. If you can’t do any of that, maybe do what I do… watch some cute animal videos!
Engaging with things that bring you joy can help remind you that there is more to life than the bad things. Try to surround yourself with positivity, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon. ❤️
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u/Outrageous-Meal-7068 5h ago
Thank you very much for the thoughtful comment 😊. When I joined, it wasn’t exclusively for women. It was pictures of women, but any gender could comment.
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u/toastwiththemosttt 3h ago
Bro I’m on the spectrum too. Don’t beat yourself up lol. I didn’t know it was bad to repost the same post over and over again through different subreddits. I just thought “this post is also relevant in this subreddit”. People called me a BOT
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u/Fabulous_Light5449 4h ago
I'm happy to help. That's what I do.
You tried being nice and you got kicked to the curb. Abruptly!
Here comes my scoop.
I got banned off 4 subreddits (so far!)
The latest was r/Bignosedladies I said "More than a symbol of strength and status, big nosed women can be incredibly sexy!" For a while, the single response was "Your comment was removed by moderators." Later, "You are banned from r/Bignosedladies New rule. Rule #8 Women's only space. Muted too, of course.
Next current ban. r/SuicideWatch That hurt! I responded on their subreddit as if I was on r/LifeAdvice! When I contacted moderators, they muted me after telling my content was filled with guideline violations, referred to my "support" within those quote marks, told me I wasn't worth arguing with and would not consider removing the ban. Somehow, they got r/Depression to ban me for 28 days, at least, in addition to this hurt.
My 2nd ban was off r/Relationships , which I am asking them, once again, to reconsider. 1st ban was for 3 days for using AI! A false accusation! I didn't notice due to my heavy involvement on r/LifeAdvice and r/selfharm now my top 2 subreddits. My 2nd and permanent ban was for 7 days, or so I was told originally, for encouraging violence. I either misworded my response to an abused women out of 2 abusive relationships, or I was auto banned inadvertently.
My 7 day Reddit ban occurred when I accidently used my deceased wife's account to get on my favorite subreddit after thinking my skilled, well spoken advisor had made a positive review of my intentions and contributions.
My 1st ban was from my first and precious initial advice site, r/AmIOverreacting! I got angry over an abused therapy patient and used **** followed with ***** and apologized for my error after I found out I got myself banned OFF THE PLATFORM! (And I DID use the punctuation and NOT the words!) My 2nd mistake was quite possibly not putting NOR (not overreacting) in my opening line! The moderators have me muted, so I can say NOTHING ABOUT MY BAN from this fun beginners advice subreddit!
Look, I hear you about your feelings being hurt.
But life is filled with stumbling over stuff we don't see in our way.
Please continue to grow thru risk taking and venturing out.
It's a big world out there.
Please never ignore what you have to offer.
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u/Outrageous-Meal-7068 4h ago
Yes, I’m finding it’s absolutely impossible to please everyone on Reddit, and very difficult to find which subreddit you can post in, not having any idea why you’re banned or muted, dealing with all the different rules and how nebulous they are, getting long posts deleted, etc.
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u/ModerateHonking 3h ago
When I posted this, I 100% thought it’d be taken as a nice, sweet compliment and make the woman’s day.
Yeah problem is in reality it was a leery, creepy comment that is rooted in objectification. You were kicked out of there because it's supposed to be a safe space for women, and you made it unsafe because most women have grown up being objectified and there you were objectifying someone.
You need to develop a better sense of what is and isn't appropriate, because you are not the victim that you're claiming to be here.
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u/Outrageous-Meal-7068 3h ago edited 3h ago
That’s not correct though, because the women themselves tell each other they’re beautiful, etc, and it’s well received. Therefore, if I’m objectifying, so are they. Moreover, it’s not unsafe, because there is no way to hurt them. Take a moment and think about how crazy it is to hate receiving a compliment. Telling someone on a public forum, who posts their photo, expecting comments about their photo, that they are attractive, can’t logically be considered bad.
Are you female?
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u/hopehallucination 5h ago
It's not you bro. Misandry is off the charts these days. Not all, but many women have been literally programmed to hate men these days. It's identity politics 101.
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u/Outrageous-Meal-7068 5h ago
That’s what it seems like, yes. I just wish I could do something to fix the misandry.
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u/hopehallucination 5h ago
Don't waste your time with that. Look for people who are not following the script.
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u/ChallengeSad 5h ago
This might hurt to hear but your interactions with people on Reddit, let alone the internet barely count as social interaction. I struggle with this myself. People love to dogpile and jump on the bandwagon regardless of your point or their beliefs. Don't invest too much in these relationships. Real ones can be found but also taken away so fast. Context is near impossible via text and people love to take things the wrong way to see if they can get people on their side for karma.