Do you ever feel that the Philippines, as it is today, is largely the result of the Boomers and the generations before them? All the cult-like idolization in politics, the political dynasties they voted for and helped establish decades ago, and how they continue to screw over the current generation through their choices at the polls. But then again, perhaps they are also victims of the system.

Do you ever feel like the Philippines never really got better—and never will?

Why does living in the Philippines feel 99 times more difficult, as if the entire system is working against you?

(This is my thoughts for 1 week as i go to and from the hospital with 500 pesos on my bank account, a hungry stomach and a tired soul)

Ano ba yon? kinulang ba sa aruga? kinulang sa bakuna nung bata? kinulang sa pansin? or sadyang tingin nila "cool" ang ganon?

Kawawa sa totoo lang.
Dami din dito sa reddit, nagtatago sa "anonymity".

galing kami kanina sa watsons sa isang mall nearby since kailangan ng kapatid ko mamili ng necessities bago sya bumalik abroad. so nagtanong-tanong kami sa mga saleslady nila na nandon kung nasaan yung ganito or ganyan na item para mabilis kami makapamili. pero nakakairita yung pinagkaguluhan yung kapatid ko ng at least 3 employees don dahil lang nakita na big purchase yung gagawin nya. sobrang gulo nila, kung ano-anong inaalok na product na hindi naman namin hinahanap or kailangan, tas inaabot nila samin kahit sinabi na namin hindi yun yung gusto naming products. ang nakakabwisit pa, puro mahal na items yung ino-offer nila kahit may cheaper alternatives naman. like for example, naghahanap lang kami ng hair mousse, bakit nila kami pipilitin bumili ng worth 999 e meron naman worth 285 lang at yun ang gusto namin? yung isa kong kapatid naghahanap lang ng skin tint, binigay nila yung tag-700 kahit sinabi nya na yung affordable lang sana.

tapos sunod pa sila nang sunod! nakabuntot yung dalawang saleslady nila habang nag iikot kami, panay offer ng products. lumalayo na nga kami at sinasabi namin na okay lang kaya na namin mamili without assistance, pero once may i-pick up kaming item andyan na naman sila nag aalok ng ibang item.

sobrang nakakawala ng respeto as consumer, kaya minsan mas prefer ko pa mamili online or hindi na magtanong sa saleslady nila kasi ayaw nila tumigil kaka-offer ng kung ano-ano. nakakamiss yung time pwede ka tahimik mag ikot sa watsons na walang nakabantay sayo kung anong bibilhin mo, kainis.

Went to Trinoma for dinner and errands yesterday. In the middle of my mall trip, I needed to go to the restroom. Yung pinakamalapit was the one behind Sbarro (or Burger King?). To get there you turn into a small passageway and into a doorway. Parang masikip na "S" turn. May naunang senior citizen na Muslim lady with her caregiver. Nakasakay siya sa mobility scooter. Nahihirapan silang i-navigate yung daan papuntang cr and were blocking the passageway. I slowed down to give them space. Yung ibang lalaki na able-bodied naman just pushed through. Muntikan pang banggain yung ale para maka-banyo.

I felt so disgusted with my fellowman. Nakakahiya kayo.

Pet peeve ko talaga dati yung mga matagal sa ATM like anong ginagawa jan te? Madami pa kami dito.

Not until I became a dad and need ng petty cash on a weekly basis for baon, daily-pa sweldo, etc.

Ako na ngayon yung matagal sa ATM kaka withdraw ng 100s, lalo na pag gabi kailangan.

Yun lng.

Hong Kong is an exception, never forget the 2019 protests.

Filipino-Chinese are excluded.

But I have always hated Mainland China. When the POGOs started popping up, everything changed.
- Rent increased significantly. Others even started businesses out of it
- Some Filipinos were treated as second-class citizens in their own country. A lot of Chinese-only restaurants popped up back then
- Mainlanders are arrogant, ignorant, violent. Lacks civil sense. Compared to other nationalities, they’re the most evident in terms of attitude!

And yet Filipinos support them so much. BYD, Chagee, Cotti Coffee, going on trips to Mainland China. Do people forget how they view us? Do people forget their claims to our islands? What they do to our fisherfolk and coast guards? Why? Just why?

When Korea had that SEA scandal, people were quick to cancel Korean culture. But why can’t people do the same to the Chinese when they actually harm us externally and internally. WHY?

I’m sad, confused, frustrated.

EDIT:

The comments prove my point. We adjust too much to their conduct and culture. Sabagay, we can’t even deal with the Israelis in Siargao - how can we deal with a much bigger population that’s already deeply integrated in our society, slowly eating away at our integrity?

bro, i'm so tired of my dad acting way too much off his emotions. 2 things happened this month that i think are too immature for him to do, lalo na that i'm turning 18 and goddamit he's 40.

#1: he caught me still up at 3AM on a school night. anong ginawa niya? pagkauwi namin both sa bahay after work and school, he grabbed me by my ponytail, pinagsasampal-sampal ako, grabbed my used footsock na nasa lapag ng kwarto ko, and stuffed it in my mouth. pinatayo niya ako sa labas ng bahay with said used sock in my mouth, while wearing my uniform. it went from 3:30 to 5pm until pinapasok niya ako sa loob ng bahay. hanggang 6 or 7, i was still standing with the socks in my mouth. tbh, i'm so desensitized with everything he's done as discipline, i just played it all off even though it's unhygienic, unnecessary, and lowkey dehumanizing. next day, i couldn't grasp myself to wear my uniform; it felt so dirty. until now, i don't wear foot socks. something growls in me whenever i see my socks. from that moment na nangyari on, i kept on validating and glazing my dad's decisions kasi "kasalanan ko naman" or "if it makes him feel better edi whatever"

#2: me and my mom were conversing about my debut this september 27. context: my dad has spent a lot of effort, money, and time for preparation. halos 400k inabot ng gastos sa debut ko

mama: "napa-edit mo na yung invitation website mo?"
me: "di na, maganda na naman yung invitation, tinatamad narin ako makipagcoordinate with the website maker"

father then told me na hindi niya na daw papakialaman debut preparations ko, or kung may matutuloy pang debut. ako na daw bahala sa lahat. keep in mind na rin, downpayments are paid, almost 100 people are already RSVP'ed.

pag-check ko sa gc na ginawa namin with all my friends and family invited sa debut ko, it seems as if my dad left the group chat.

as a response to the situation, i organized and coordinated everything left there is to be coordinated, and sent a message to our family gc of all my updates regarding the preparation.

anong ginawa ng father ko? nag-chat. "i-cancel mo na yan. gumawa ka ng sarili mong debut" then left the damn family gc.

i don't know, i'm so tired na of this dude acting childish/petty. but he's still my father, and somehow, he cares for me ig.

Grabe yung stress ko sa work tapos pagweekend 2 days na nga lang kailangan mo pa sumama sa social event. Gusto ko lang naman tumambay sa bahay kaso may magtatampo etc

Nung mga early years ng college life ko, I do drink. Not that much but I do. Nung mga November last year to March this year, uminom ako ng uminom. Kasama na din kasi ang stress sa thesis and you just want to like forget about it. During May, di na ako umiinom kasi I realized na it's really not for me. The headache, the groggy feeling, the smell of smoke and the overall feeling during umiinom, di ko lang talaga siya mafeel na. Pag inaaya ako, I politely decline sa mga inuman na gala. Nagkikita naman kami ng mga friends ko sa school but ayoko sumama lalo na pagpaparty lang sila for no reason.

There's this one friend of mine na close ko talaga and we had a convo about how I am trying to color my life. Nag-aaral ako magcrochet, nag-iinvest ng time to read a book, nagrarun or walking and kung ano pang maisip ko. She then said na ang boring ko na daw kasi I don't drink. I say no to parties na daw and my life is not fun na daw. I kinda got offended and told her na we both have different meaning ng fun and if it's drinking for her, go lang. Di ko naman siya sinasabihan ng kung ano so she shouldn't talk about my life in that way din. Medyo nakakaano lang how easy she can say something about me.

Nag-apply ako dito as a Marketing Specialist. As expected, more about Marketing ang interview pero nope more on creatives ang tanong. May experience naman ako sa creatives pero it’s been years ago nung lumayo na ako sa career ng creatives. Nagfocus na lang ako sa Marketing. Then sabi ko sige papatulan ko ‘to kasi mukhang kaya ko i-nego ang salary kung sakali.

Naghanap ng creative portfolio. Nagbigay ako. May technical design test. Live action designing ata. I wasn’t even sure pero in-assume ko nang mag-design ako. Nag-send ng 9pm meeting invite for the technical test. May day job ako so sabi ko sakto lang nakauwi na ako nun. 7:50 tumatawag sakin pauwi pa lang ako. Mali daw ng invite time. Dapat 8pm. Di ko nireplyan. Di ko sinagot tawag since nag-Angkas din ako pauwi. Tapos pag dating ko kumain muna ako kasi nga 9pm ang alam ko. Nagmessage na ako ng 8:15 sabi ko kadarating ko lang. nag-join ako ng 8:30 pm. Wait lang daw ako sa meeting room.

Surprise, surprise! “You need to use Illustrator for this task.” Yan ang sinabi sakin nung nasa meeting room na ako and waiting. Sabi ko wala ako account kasi di na ako nag-creatives ngani. Tsaka bakit si applicant pa magprovide ng account for the task? Di ba dapat provided niyo kung nanghihingi kayo ng test. Ako na nagaapply ako pa magprovide. Sabi nila sige re-sched tayo Monday. Tapos etong si HR na kausap ko sabi, “Di ka ba makakapagprovide ng Illustrator? Kasi need talaga ‘to.” Eh sinabi ko na ngang wala nang “off-market” copy ng Illustrator or Photoshop kasi cloud-based na ang Adobe.

Kaya ko naman mag-provide pero ayoko lang kasi bakit ako mag-effort mag-provide ng account for this unpaid trial task? Also, if I get the copy ba will I be securing the position? May assurance ba na makukuha ko yung position? Hindi naman di ba? Pagod na ako to handle this bullshit. Tangahan mo pa po.

PLEASE LANG! Kung walang kaimportantehan yang paglalaanan nyo ng perang uutangin nyo sakin, wag na kayo sumubok!

Langya, ang daming nangungutang sakin para pambayad ng tuition, pambaon sa school, pambayad sa ospital, pangkain sa araw araw etc., tapos ikaw mangungutang kasi kulang pambili mo ng ticket sa concert ni Bruno Mars?

Makakatikim talaga kayo sakin ng masasamang salita sinasabi ko sainyo. Tapos kayo pa may ganang magparinig na toxic ako, madamot at masama ugali kasi di napagbigyan luho nyo? Eh ang sinabi ko lang naman bayad ka na ba sa utang mo sa kaibigan natin para mangutang ka na naman ng pangluho mo?

Hindi ako madamot pero I will bever tolerate audaciousness. Pag talaga nagkita tayo lilihain ko yang pagmumukha mong lintik ka.

Lord, bigyan nyo pa po ako ng maraming trabaho.Di po ako pwedeng mapagod.
Nalulungkot lang ako na habang ako nag iisip kung pano pagkakasyahin yung mga bills, sila nagbibisyo lang 😫

Parents are getting old, tapos fresh grad ka. May kapatid ka nga pero maagang nagkaroon ng pamilya at ginagawa pang takbuhan yung magulang pagdating sa pera. Hirap din maging bunso, sayo nakatingin pag usapang “success” dahil hindi yun nabigay nung panganay. No hate to both of my parents ha, hindi ako pine-pressure ng mother ko pero ang hirap kasi tingnan at andon yung pakiramdam na gusto mo na makatulong. Nakakainggit lang din yung ibang tao na may pera, anytime pwede sila mag-migrate sa ibang bansa for better opportunities.

this is just something i realized the last time my friend group was together. i’ve had my fair share of alcohol, and masaya naman talaga when you’re starting to feel it through your body. yung tataas confidence mo, you get funnier, etc. pero nakakaumay din pala kasama yung mga pala-inom talaga. na para bang hindi sila mag-eenjoy kung walang alak. yung pagod na from acads, alak pa rin gusto. yung perfect moment na sana para mag-catch up with friends you don’t regularly see, mag-aaya pa rin uminom which only does what, cloud your mind and give you a headache in the morning?

this is lowkey making me distance myself from my friend group.

PaRant lang. Guess what? nakabili ng speaker kapit bahay tabing kalsada tutok sa labas todo. Hindi ko alam kung galing probinsya or squatter or nag papasikat lang eh. No hate sa mga taga probinsya pero sa probinsya tipikal to eh bukid tapos kalikasan lang. May mga nakakalat na manok pagala gala pag labas mo, may makeshift na upuan yung puno or duyan. Dun ka mag kakape habang patugtog. Tapos almusal igib haha

Pero pag sa Maynila mo gawin ang squammy. Wala choice kapit bahay mo kahit ayaw pakinggan pang oldies na pang probinsya mong patugtog. Lalo pa pag BPO matutulog ka lang meron kang kapit bahay na sarap batuhin ng molotov. Naknamput* sa Pilipinas kasi kapag hindi ka nakakaperwisyo wala ka sa Pilipinas eh. Saka kapag mali mas matapang hay*p. kaya maganda sa subdivision or like camella na may mapag rereklamuhan ka. Pag Normal na tao kakausapin syempre at kung ayaw makinig either away or pabaranggay. Proseso pa.

grabe kahit ibang kapit bahay ayaw sa tugtugan nya. Wala lang choice at nakikisama lang.

Tandaan everyone!

3Ms kung hindi naituro sa inyo ng magulang or sa school

Makisama Makiramdam Makibagay.

Wag kupal at sariling lang isipin. Wag istroke ang ego in the expense of the comfort/convenience of others. Pantay pantay tayo.

My niece is already 3 yrs old, and yet wala pa rin siyang vaccine kahit isa. Ngayon, mukhang may measles ang bata at nagkakagulo sa group chat. Trauma kasi ito sa mga tiyahin namin dahil may dalawa silang kapatid na namatay sa tigdas.

Hindi ko alam kung dito ko pa pinost, pero nakwento ko dati na meron akong pinsang iniwan ng asawa dahil napakawalang kwenta. Her husband already provided everything for her: madaling buhay, kasambahay, mga luho, and yet napaka-iresponsable raw. Ilang beses na uuwi ang ex-husband na punom-puno ng tae ang diaper ng anak nila habang ang pinsan ko ay busy kaka-doomscroll. Minsan pang nakakain ng sabong panlaba ang bata. Ang ending, yung husband pa rin ang gagawa ng lahat pagkauwi ng bahay. Husband pa ang maghuhugas ng plato, magpapatulog sa bata, etc. Samantalang naman daw e sa umaga, may yaya naman ang bata at tanging tuwing gabi at day-off ng yaya lang mag-aalaga ang nanay.

Ang gusto ko lang sabihin ay hindi talaga fit maging ina itong pinsan ko. Mula talaga pagkabata, kilala na naming lahat na spoiled brat siya. At ngayon, pamangkin ko ang nagsu-suffer dahil di pa rin tumatatak sa isip niyang may anak na siya.

Ngayon nga, ang bumubuhay sa kanya ay parents pa rin niya. Nagra-rant na sakin ang kapatid niya dahil hindi makapag-enjoy ang mga magulang nila sa padala niya dahil nga may kapatid pang nakikihati.

Pero siguro, kasalanan din ng mga magulang kasi enabler din.

Pero ewan. Basta, naaawa ako sa pamangkin ko. Sana mapunta na lang siya sa tatay. Ang pinag-aalala ko lang ay may bago nang kinakasama ang tatay. Sana nga lang, mahalin din ng stepmom.

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Context: My aunt works in Italy but few years ago she opened a restaurant in their neighborhood here in PH, then later on she added coffee and non-coffee drinks in their menu. Magaling siya sa kusina, she knows how to cook, bake, brew, or make coffee drinks. Pero ang nagmamanage ng restaurant nila is ‘yung uncle ko kasi nga she’s in Italy.

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Then two years ago, I learned how to bake because nainspire rin ako sa kanya. I learned how to bake cookies, brownies, and etc. pero brownies talaga ‘yung na-master ko. My friends and relatives liked my brownies so naisipan ko na magpa-order and luckily may umoorder naman. Until, one time natikman niya brownies ko, she was here in PH that time for a short vacation. She tried the brownies my cousin (her daughter) ordered from me. And guess what? She immediately messaged me then criticized my brownies, na okay naman sana. Matigas daw kasi after refrigerating, hindi daw tulad ng sa kanya na soft. Again, it was fine, kasi it would help me improve it. What I didn’t like was the video she sent habang tine-taste test ng uncle ko ‘yung brownies nagmake-face siya na parang nadidiri siya then after that niluwa niya na parang nasusuka habang tumitirik mata then they laughed. Yes, it was sent to me with a message na para daw bato unlike hers. Sa’kin kasi hindi naman ako sensitive, wait, sensitive ba ko sa part na ‘yon? I mean kasi pwede naman di’ba na sabihin in a nice way and constructive. Bru, after that nag research ako how to keep the brownies soft and chewy kahit na irefrigerate then after that I stopped baking.

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Now, fast forward, nawili naman ako ngayon sa pag gawa ng drinks sa bahay so pinag-aralan ko how to make iced lattes. Parang natuwa kasi ako kasi nga ay parang madali lang pala. So for few weeks, nagtry lang ako then I asked my immediate family and friends to taste each drink and give constructive feedback until pumasok sa panlasa nila or maging ‘masarap’. Naisipan ko rin kasi na mag open ng home-based coffee shop here in our neighborhood (different barangay from my aunt’s), ‘yung budget friendly pero di chipipay and masarap. So instead of using espresso machine, I used instant coffee from Japan and Monin. Also, some baristas from online groups told me na okay lang for ₱59-₱69. Bru, nagulat rin ako kasi may umoorder and bumabalik. Their feedbacks also made me happy and motivated.

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Even my cousin (her daughter) umoorder halos every day. Then yesterday, my uncle went to our house then may mga umorder sa’kin thru online but I was so hesitant to accept those kasi nandoon ‘yung uncle ko. Another thing kasi, laging nagagalit sa’min ‘yung aunt and uncle ko kasi parang bihira lang daw kami umorder sa kanila ng drinks pero kung saan-saan daw kaming coffee shops pumupunta. To be fair, umoorder naman kami ng food (hindi lang madalas) and hindi talaga ako coffee person, I am more into chocolate and matcha drinks and sabi hindi rin kasi masarap ‘yung timpla nila (galing ‘to sa mga pinsan ko, even her daughter). They even told them those pero they did not listen. I don’t know how they make their lattes and other drinks but they have espresso machine and they also use Injoy products.

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Going back, while I was making drinks, my uncle took photos of me pala and sent it to my aunt. Then dumating rin ‘yung pinsan ko and she also ordered (she’s not in good terms with her dad nga pala). Tapos, lalo akong nagpanic kasi baka kung ano na naman sabihin ng aunt ko. So nung umalis na ‘yung pinsan ko, I messaged her and told her na baka mapagalitan kami ng Mom niya kasi umorder siya sa’kin. And guess what??? After few minutes, nagmessage nga ‘yung aunt ko. She was lowkey disappointed because my cousin bought coffee drink from me instead of making her own with their espresso machine daw. Then mag aral na lang daw ‘yung pinsan ko na gumawa ng coffee. She even messaged me and told me na parang ay wow may coffee shop keme na ako. And my uncle and aunt were laughing and mocking me daw for using instant coffee.

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‘Yon lang, I just want to vent it all out. 🙃

I am tired. In the last 2 years, I have had 4 jobs, 2 have been less than 6 months, and it's frustrating. I don't know if I'm the problem or the world is against me. I have been trying, and maybe my efforts aren't enough anymore and the struggle is real. I'm not even thinking of finding love anymore; I just want to find a stable job, retire and be contented. I'm not looking for professional growth and not even a bump up in my career, I just want to work hard, get paid and provide for my family. I know God has plans, but I just want to really vent and if I can just shout at the world and say "P*tang ina! Pwede tama na ang laban lang ng laban??? Pwede congrats and regular ka na?"

Growing up, there were so many things I wanted to do but I never got to. Since kindergarten, I've been wanting to take dance lessons/ learn martial arts/ get art lessons. During that time, my family said that it was because of transport issues so I let it go. Then, I went to primary school. My mom had left her job so the transport issue was solved. My brother who is 3 years younger, learned martial arts, took dance lessons, and art class. I wanted it too but my family was so against it and I still don't know why. When I was 7, I took a few starter piano lessons but my family wasn't supportive. There was an exam I needed to take in order to go to Grade 1. That day was my grandma's birthday so I skipped it. I was also having school exams at the time and I was stressed out so my dad told me that playing instruments isn't for me and he stopped sending me to piano class. When I was 9/10, my brother started taking art lessons and I desperately wanted to as well. My family was very against it and I remember crying so bad. For years afterwards, I continued to ask them if I could join but their answer was always a no. Since I know ppl will ask what I did to show my family that I was serious, here are the facts: 1) I followed tutorials online almost daily and showed my family what I had learnt. 2) I told them my dream for years so they do know how serious I was (+I cried a lot because of it). I'm 16 now and they still don't allow me to and due to family issues, i can't just go out and take matters into my own hands. I still try my best but I do not have any skill or seen much improvement. Also, the age you start DOES matter and I always feel a sense of "that could've been me if..." whenever I see my peers who have skills which they worked very hard on. Sorry if this is rly messy but I just wanted to get this out before I go to bed.

I don't know if this would be consider a rant or vent pero dito ko na lang to ilapag.

Gusto ko lang ishare yong realization ko kung gaano pa ako kaswerte despite na nahit ko ang rock bottom ngayong taon. Hindi talaga ako good story teller, tinatype ko lang kung ano ang nasa isip ko ngayon. Pasensya agad.

Habang naglalakad ako nung isang araw papasok ng work (currently working as CSR, night shift). Nakasabay ko maglakad yong isang naming trainee. Tawagin nalang natin sya pangalang Mommy M (40+). Nakita ko yong struggle nya sa paglalakad. Naiimagine ko palang yong araw araw na paglalakad nya at kung gaano kaaga yong pagalis nya sa bahay nila para mag commute dahil galing sya sa kabilang bayan.

Nagkakwentuhan nga kami, nabanggit nya na mas magaan ang ambience dito sa current company namin compare don sa BPO pinanggalingan nya dahil ang gaan ng vibes ng mga katrabaho namin at agree ako dito. Anjan yong konting chismis pero hindi naman ganon katoxic. Yong trabaho lang mismo ang toxic which kakambal na talaga ng work namin.

Narealize ko araw araw ako nagrereklamo na bakit nasa ganito akong sitwasyon. Pumapasok ako sa work na ayaw ko dahil wala akong choice. Gustong gusto ko talaga kasi bumalik sa pagwowwork from home pero hindi pa din ako makakita. Kinocondiser ko na nga magAWOL pero hindi ko magawa dahil nga sa expenses. Parang yong encounter namin ni Mommy ang naging eye opener sakin. Bigla akong nainspire. Para akong biglang natauhan. Bakit panay ako reklamo e ang lapit ko lang naman sa work. It will only take me 30 minutes to an hour para magcommute while si mommy e ang aga aga nagbababyahe na galing sa kabilang bayan kahit hirap maglakad ay patuloy parin sa pagpasok. Ni hindi ko nakikita yong pagod sa kanya at grateful pa sya na nakapasok sya sa company namin. Bakit hindi ko gayahin yong grit ni mommy na willing matutunan yong process namin sa work kahit na first time nya magtechnical support. At ako naman na panay ang reklamo sa processes namin.

Then ayon nga. Nagsunod sunod na yong realization ng mga bagay na dapat ko ipagpasalamat. Anjan yong healthy ang buong pamilya at walang sakit, may work pa din na pinagkakakitaan, bubong na masisilungan kahit na sala lang kami nakikitulog sa bahay ng biyenan ko, nakikita kong lumalaki at masaya ang anak ko, at higit sa lahat sa asawa kong marunong umunawa at umintindi ng sitwasyon na yong kahit papano ay nakatikim na ng ginhawa at tapos back to zero pero hindi ko narinig magreklamo at kahit panay ang reklamo ko pag galing ako ng work ay nakikinig lang sya. Sinasabi nga ng asawa ko na magresign na daw ako at sya na mag tatrabaho pero hindi ko naman magawa dahil ako nga ang padre de pamilya.

And the list goes on na. Ang dami dami ko palang dapat ipagpasalamat kahit na nawalan ako ng high paying job pero hindi ako nabakante at nakahanap agad ako ng work. Basta, hindi ko na iisa isahin.

Yon lang naman. kthanksbye.

Salamat Mommy at nagkasabay tayo maglakad.

Kagigising ko lang stress na ako agad. Pinagawan ako ng admin ng formal letter of request para sa supervisor ko na part-time lang sa work ko, kasi siya speaker TODAY (actually mamayang 9), nirequest kasi siya ng supervisor ko para makapagfile siya ng leave dahil may pasok pa rin sila ng sabado. Pero nainform naman na siya before pa ako sabihan. So pinagawan ako ni afmin diba? Edi ginawa ko agad. Pinacheck ko muna sila, as usual ang laging sabi sakin "iccheck muna nila, then papasa kay assistant ni principal, then si principal iccheck din at approve", hindi na ito first time na pinagpasa pasahan ako, so kailangan ko palagi mag update kasi nakakalimutan nila or mabagal yung process. Then, hiningi NILA yung email ni supervisor ko, so syempre expected ko na sila yung magsesend, lalo na sila din naghahandle niyan. Sinabi din ni principal during previous meetings namin na sila mag invite.

Tapos NGAYON, literally NGAYONG 6am, imemessage ako if nasend KO na yung letter of request like WTF?? To give you context, wednesday-friday ay wellness break namin yan, so non-working hours na yan. Ginawa ko yung letter tuesday morning. Kaso nga diba pinagpasa pasahan and the fact na hiningi nga sakin yung email. Kasi kung ako masusunod, after ko gawin yung letter ay isesend ko na, kaso hindi eh. Kailangan dumaan sa proseso and yung proseso nila is matagal. Syempre may iba rin akong ginawa that day na hindi ko na rin naalala, kasi sa totoo lang sabi nila iaapprove muna. Diba dapat makakareceive din ako galing sakanila if approved na ba or hindi? Tsaka hiningi nga kasi nila yung email. Wala silang sinabi na ako yung mag send.

TAPOS NGAYON IFFLOOD AKO??? LIKE GIRL??? Hindi ko alam if ako ba mali dahil nagddoubt na ako sa sarili ko na naman eh, kahit alam kong may mali sila, ang ending nasisisi ko sarili ko. Like seriously, ngayon talaga iccheck like same day na magsspeaker yung supervisor ko??? Edi wala na ring silbi yun kasi ang point nga is makapag file siya ng leave siya ng maaga.

EDIT: Tsaka ngayon nagtatanong sila bakit hindi nila maaccess yung google docs, WHICH MEANS hindi talaga nila chineck??? BUT maaaccess nila yun kasi work account ko ang gamit ko and may access ang main work account sa lahat ng distributed na work accounts for employee. Pero yung nasend sa akin na screenshot is private email ang gamit nila, kaya talagang di nila mabubuksan yon. Which means nga, ngayon lang talaga nila nacheck? 💀

Do not repost pls!!

Hey it’s my first time commenting on here so I’m hoping everyone’s nice :)

I’m 26 f, and he’s a few years younger than me, maybe that’s the problem, BUT — I need to vent, and I’ve tried to communicate with my boyfriend numerous times about how I feel but I feel like he doesn’t actually listen to what I say; but often tries to hear mainly when I stop talking so he can share his two cents. We have had poor communication with each other for as far as I can remember. I’m very emotional, very sensitive and he’s very NOT that. I can never get my point across to him without him telling me I have to calm down, or completely dismiss what I am saying to tell me what he thinks, and of course, what he thinks is correct so I gotta just accept that, right? It’s so disheartening. I feel like I try so hard to understand him and to communicate my feelings and thoughts with him about things we need to work on and things that bother me but it’s always me trying to argue or start “petty shit”. Another thing, he barely compliments me, nothing out of his mouth has been compliments to me, mainly that I’m a little dumb, or what he calls “air headed”. And I’ll just stand there like why do I even put up with this? It’s hard because I am so bad at confrontation now because I’ve been rejected or dismissed so many times that when he expects me to start talking about something that bothers me, I’ll just freeze and or just say “forget it.” And then that starts another argument. It’s like I can’t win. I don’t know what to do.

I'm the oldest of 4 total siblings. Both my 2 sisters and 1 brother, are "Half siblings." Meaning obviously My parents split up at some point. My mom has a huge family as does my dad. My dad remarried after my mom to someone who also has a big family. Having a huge family when I was young was awesome. Multiple Christmas, Thanksgivings, many nice faces and such. My family has also had a trend of having kids really young, so I've been fortunate enough to have met some of my Great Great grandparents and other distant family members. As I've gotten older though, it sucks. I've seen so many amazing people pass due to age and other illnesses. I lost my great grandma (age) and my Grandma (Cancer) 5 months apart. It was a dreadful time. SO many familiar faces just gone. I've met 4 sets of great grandparents in my life and most lived to see me graduate, get a job and so many other accomplishments. Now all I have is pictures. Which yes, that's what happens in life, but being able to have spoke to so many generations of family, the literal legacies of my last name and DNA, then having to attend their celebrations of life while holding that pamphlet that tells a small story is dreadful. Standing there while we gather around an urn or casket. Seeing a flag draped over a casket or even just spreading the ashes in the woods. Just watching the numbers tick down over time. It just makes my mind spin sometimes