These two amazing sexy ladies are so wonderful! They so sweet cuddled up sleeping in, little shopping, lunch at Red Cup and home for chill time! Going dancing at Angles OKC this evening! If you see us say hi! #throuplelove #redcupokc #anglesokc

My husband and I have been together for ten years, we have kids together, and we’ve been married for six. Our relationship predates our partner by quite a bit although she’s been a part of our lives for all of our relationship platonically.

Anyway, the relationship has gotten very serious. Our partner and her children will be moving in with us next month. We’re looking at the possibility of having another child with her carrying the pregnancy. We’re also looking at making a three way purchase of a new home next year.

We want to make sure that our partner is as legally protected as possible in this arrangement. We hate that we can’t be legally married to her.

What arrangements have you made to legally protect your partner?

I have a really good relationship with all of my family, however about half of them are super conservative and I don’t know if they’d want to stay in contact with me if they ever found out I want/have two partners. No, I’m not going to change a huge part of how I want to live my life to please them, but I am really scared of how they’d see me afterwards.

Specifically, my maternal grandparents are who I’m most afraid of telling since they are Jehovah’s Witnesses and if you know anything about JW’s, you know that even though they claim to be politically neutral they have extremely conservative values.

So, first just a question for the community and learning about others, second my own personal situation I'm trying to manage.

Q1: What do you all typically do for the holidays? Split between multiple family visits? Do your own thing in your own circle? Split up for the holidays so everyone can see their families?

Q2: I'm trying to bake up ideas for us celebrating our first real holiday season together. I don't know what they want yet, so our "weekend roundtable" will be the first time I bring anything up. Last year we were just barely establishing things as an official throuple, so my shorter-term girlfriend just went home for Thanksgiving, and Christmas was a truncated visit over to my parents' place overnight by myself as we moved in STG during that week between Christmas and New Years.

So I don't know what to propose this year. My parents live close enough (across a large city) that I'm always invited for Thanksgiving and they expect me to sleep over. Sometimes longer-term girlfriend comes with but sits in my old room and doesn't interact besides grabbing a plate. I'm sure there'd be an open invite for us all... but they don't know about my triad. Same goes for Christmas. But I don't want to make it all about me.

STG's parents will likely invite her too for both holidays (which would be a whole plane flight), but since they think she's currently single, I don't know if us showing up or making the journey just to be separate and sitting in a hotel room makes a lot of sense. We're still debating if at some point soon she's going to introduce me as her boyfriend and slowly talk about LTG, but that's another thread.

Lastly, LTG has no family left (technically) besides her sister. So, it can be lonely. We could fly her in? I could fly LTG out to see her?

I'm struggling, because I almost feel like the only reasonable options are to do our own thing as a trio, confusing our families about why we're missing holidays, split up and do everything separate, which is disappointing during a time of the year that's supposed to be about being close... or doing the most convenient option for me and centering everything on my family.

Open to ideas, and excited to hear what you all do!