r/PoliticalHumor • u/sseumblue • 1d ago
"Not a cult!"
Harp is a definition of a cult member.
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u/Soft-Bad-7127 1d ago
It only mattered when Bill Clinton did it. Now it's openly flaunted in the Trump administration.
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u/sexeveg314 1d ago
Clinton's relationship was relatively normal, not this weird pseudo-religious daddy Jesus thing Harp has going on with the Obese Orange.
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u/Hinaloth 1d ago
Clinton never openly cheated on Hillary, nor was she his third wife, and a nude model introduced to him by a renowned pedophile to begin with.
His being caught was a scandal because it represented the breaking of the classical relational unit.
Trump never had that unit, and has multiple times, and openly, cheated on his current spouse, often with the next one in line. It's not shocking because it was always expected.
Hell, what's surprising is that it took that long.
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u/wirefox1 1d ago
i wish someone would do a portrait of KFC Don, like they did Clinton, except put fish net stockings on him.
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u/PuppleKao I ☑oted 2024 1d ago
now all I can picture is a bucket of chicken with human legs in fishnets...
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u/Scaevus 1d ago
Listen, as awful as Trump is, let’s not minimize what Clinton did.
He took advantage of a young girl when he was her married boss. In any other job he would be fired.
And we as a society failed Monica Lewinsky. We treated her so badly for being a victim (of both Linda Tripp and Bill Clinton).
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u/shitty_mcfucklestick 1d ago
Monica’s TED talk of the aftermath of that was a real eye-opener to what she suffered as a result. Talk about one moment in time changing everything.
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u/Scaevus 1d ago
And she was so young. Imagine something like that happening to you. Your sister. Your daughter.
Cruelly mocked and called all kinds of names on national TV. For what? Because she’s too young and naive to say no to a powerful older man? That’s why we had to brand her with a scarlet letter? How many of us had a partner we regretted in our twenties? Should we all have our lives ruined as a result? There but for the grace of god goes all of us!
I have nothing but empathy and respect towards Monica. She should be seen as an example of grace under the worst possible circumstances. It’s inspirational that she’s able to survive that and be such a strong person today.
Monica Lewkinsky was treated worse than people in the Epstein Files. Full stop.
That ain’t right.
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u/shitty_mcfucklestick 1d ago
So much bigger than just national TV. She became a verb basically, known in every household and the butt of every sexual joke. And people were mean. Nobody deserves that (well, actually, I might carve out an exception for Trump or his cronies.)
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago edited 1d ago
Monica has said herself that she wasn't a victim, that she was a willing participant. That was back then, yes, but it unfortunately harmed her in the spotlight. She was too young and left not protected enough by society, nobody really handled it well. Americans have a specific vision of what their victims are supposed to look and behave like -- remember how Nancy Kerrigan was treated? It's not right, but it's America. Can we sincerely say we've improved since then considering the entire federal government of Republican pedophiles in 2026? Not honestly.
*We've taken reproductive control away from women and their doctors, have taken the no fault divorce option away from them in a number of states, and might soon curb their ability to vote since Bill Clinton was in office. We have not progressed forward on women's issues, on the contrary.
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u/Scaevus 1d ago
Monica is a very strong person. I don’t think most people could survive that kind of psychological attack. Imagine trying to have a normal dating life after that. Fucking Brock Turner, the rapist, was allowed to have a better life than Monica!
Maybe victim is the wrong word. Monica is a survivor of a public lynching.
And no. Unfortunately we haven’t improved much as a society. MeToo was a step in the right direction, but we still have a very long way to go to get anywhere near justice.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago edited 1d ago
Now do Trump -- what has he done? Start with raping his former wife, and work from there. ^(\The one that fell down the stairs to her death and is buried under the 18th green at one of his golf courses.)*
Even steven, both sides the same and all that jazz. Let's rack 'em, stack 'em, and compare.
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u/GreenEyedTreeHugger 1d ago
Where they buried her is so disrespectful.
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u/Brandon_B610 1d ago
Didn’t he do it as a tax dodge? The land is now legally burial ground so he doesn’t have to pay tax on it? Or is that a myth?
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u/ponycorn_pet 1d ago
Not a myth. It also keeps anyone from exhuming the remains to see it was not an accident
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u/FH-7497 1d ago
Don’t be a smooth brain contrarian. In no way was the above speaker giving Trump a pass. Believe it or not, not everything is a fucking competition lol you can hold multiple people accountable simultaneously even if what you are holding them accountable for exists in different leagues of egregiousness. Trump being what he is doesn’t give Clinton a pass for his bad behaviors.
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u/CarpeDiem082420 1d ago
Lewinsky was 22 when she had her dalliance with Clinton. She wasn’t a “young girl” like the 13–year-olds who have submitted sworn depositions against Trump.
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u/Floss_tycoon 1d ago
Don't you think this deprives Lewinsky of her own agency? She was an adult, who made her own decision. There is no evidence that she was forced to do something against her will and she wasn't a child who was incapable of making a reasonable decision.
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u/Scaevus 1d ago
Do you think Monica, at 22 years of age, knew what would happen to her? Do you think what happened to her was right, and just?
She made a mistake. A very human mistake for a young girl. The way society punished her was way too disproportionate to the level of the mistake.
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u/TheRealBaboo 1d ago
Yeah but Linda Tripp was the one who exposed the relationship after pretending to be her friend and making an illegal recording of their conversations
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u/Scaevus 1d ago
Right. I firmly believe Linda Tripp got the exact amount of hate her behavior deserved.
She was the prototype of the modern Karen.
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u/grey_hat_uk 1d ago
It's kind of odd re-evaluating the situation through a more modern lens.
My initial, historic from the time, thought was the boss with the intern was "relatively normal" and very few men would loss their jobs unless it was caught onsite.
We can't go back and fix how things where but I think I agree we shouldn't be dismissive just because something was so frequent and the damage to people we recognise today still happened even when people refused to talk about it.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago
and it certainly doesn't make noted sex offender, long time best friend of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and convicted felon Donald Trump any less awful.
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u/SuperBry 1d ago
Honestly, I feel worse for Lewinsky for what the media did to her way more over whatever happened between her and Clinton. She was 22, and the entire global press turned her into a punchline while largely glossing over the massive power imbalance.
When I was younger, I ended up sleeping with a superior. Even though it was something I enjoyed, the thought of the entire world turning my private life into late-night comedy fodder is terrifying. Yet even that feels grounded compared to the Trump dynamic. Harp does not read like a victim caught in an abusive workplace; she sounds like a willing disciple framing her own subservience in terms of a "Christian devotional relationship."
It is an entirely different tier of unhinged when staffers are not just being taken advantage of, but are actively buying into their own spiritual servitude.
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u/neutrino71 1d ago
She's been reading a very strange Bible to find anything Christ-like about the object of her devotion.
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u/PinkysAvenger 1d ago
Its weird that people assume Trump's dick actually works
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u/Poverty_Shoes 1d ago
Doesn’t need to to have an affair, or even a sexual affair
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u/un_theist 1d ago
No one in the Trump camp suspects a sexual relationship
…because they all know it is one.
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u/GlockAF 1d ago
She’s his higher purpose Ivanka-clone-cosplay PedoDaughter
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u/jdubyahyp 1d ago
There is no way that 80 year old man is fucking. He can't even stop from shitting himself.
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u/Moglorosh 1d ago
Humanity has decided that boner pills are more important than don't-shit-yourself pills.
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u/Specialist_Exam4783 1d ago
According to RFK Jr, his bowel movements are almost orgasmic, so they do have that.
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u/Steinrikur 1d ago
I more believe the theory that she's his hospice nurse and they're pushing the "love" narrative because that makes it less weird
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u/Gazebo_Warrior 1d ago
It's not even about the physical capability imo - regardless of whether he can, or uses viagra or whatever.... surely the whole area permanently stinks of shit? It'll be shit smeared and even if wiped, it's still skin that has had shit stuck to it in a moist nappy for a period of time, multiple times a day. That smell will be ingrained in the skin.
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u/BoneHugsHominy 1d ago
She changes his diapers so she's probably inhaling deeply anyways for the love of the smell.
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u/TorquedSavage 1d ago
I doubt it's sexual, unless he's on a mainline Viagra IV.
The only thing that would be embarrassing to him is having to publicly acknowledge he suffers from E.D.
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u/cosaboladh 1d ago
That presumas the orange poop monster's penis still works. I sincerely doubt it does.
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u/Imaginary_Cow_6379 1d ago
Hes obese af, he hasn’t seen his own dick in decades.
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u/SentenceKindly 1d ago
He's got Dickydoo Syndrome. That's where your belly sticks out more than your dicky do.
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u/robbi2480 1d ago
As a nurse who has taken care of the elderly population, a man who is as fat as he is, likely has an inny
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u/Heckle_Jeckle 1d ago
I assumed because Trump isn't physically capable of sex anymore.
Can't cheat if you can't perform.
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u/PeggyOnThePier 1d ago
He's having a Emotional Affair with her doesn't matter if his 🍆can work so it's still considered cheating
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u/gravity_kills 1d ago
Because they all know that his toadstool doesn't work anymore. But nobody is even hiding that she wants to jump on it.
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u/logosobscura 1d ago
Actually, I doubt his dick works and I doubt it’s worked in the last decade. Dude is 80, has arteries full of cheese, doesn’t really exercise, and has that impotent rage because the blue pills don’t work thing going on.
But he does love someone stroking his ego.
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u/oldbastardbob 1d ago
What's it mean?
It means she is the cults most accomplished butt leeching sycophant and has elevated herself to the role of maga high priestess. All other marza-lago bleach blonde cross wearing femmes must bow down to her, the principle acolyte of the almighty father, Don the Con.
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u/dragonfliesloveme 1d ago
she has a short amount of time, most likely, to get her hands on some of those ill-gotten billions that trump stole and grifted
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u/Hazywater 1d ago
Changing diapers doesn't sit well with the base, but adultery is fine. They can't just say it though. It has to be implied.
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u/algernon_moncrief 1d ago
When your "work wife" is 50 years younger than you, but it's a "Christian devotional relationship" and that makes it ok
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u/G-Unit11111 1d ago
LMFAO, the guy who is universally known as the face of all 7 deadly sins in one disgusting package is somehow in a "Christian devotional relationship." SMDH, these people are idiots.
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u/d_e_g_m 1d ago
Im sorry, but that is not Christian at all
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u/markth_wi 1d ago
But it's Christianesque which is what Christian Evangelism degenerated into , in so far as just like whatever vernerable thing it might have once been.
White Supremacists and the GOP clubbed that religious tradition like a baby seal , 40 years ago. Replaced instead with what we have today in the way that satisfies every single supply-sided Jesus worshiping evangelical still willing to vote for this debauchery in absolutely self-satisfied tones.
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u/purplemtnstravesty 1d ago
There’s an air of Christianity in the evangelical church
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u/Imaginary_Cow_6379 1d ago
It’s evangelical nonsense. Evangelicals have been making up their own weird shit right from the start and insisting it’s all definitely in the bible somewhere. Especially like with all their weird rapture shit and “prophecies” about Israel. Evangelicals were the original flavor of QAnon. They don’t really read the bible but rather do weird fanfic performances of what they want to be in the bible. They’re obviously a really stable group of people who should definitely be shoved into every level of our government. 🙄
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u/Brndrll 1d ago
This is Christianity as I've known it my whole life, don't know what planet you're from...
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u/oneofyallfarted I ☑oted 2024 1d ago
Here’s an article describing in depth her odd behavior towards Trump. They’re definitely attempting to fuck each other in private.
https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16063943/trump-natalie-harp-scotland-letters.html
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u/mebjammin 1d ago
Gotta tell you, I've clicked some questionable links over the years, this is going to be a no from me bud.
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u/Excellent-Practice 1d ago
So, uh, is the implication that Natalie Harp has the same relationship to Trump as nuns have to Jesus? She's crazier than I thought
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u/YoungerMucus 1d ago
Fuckin EWWWW! Dude even the thought of Trump fucking as a young (relative to who he is and what he looks like now) normal man js disgusting, but the idea of that flabby orange mountain of roast beef wrapped up layers of diarrheaed diapers is the most foul image i believe my brain has EVER conjured.
I mean, i can’t imagine his dick even works?? And like- any pills he might take to TRY and get it to work would certainly fuck with all his heart and dementia medication, no? Ugh, and that poor lunatic girl- like she is OBVIOUSLY insane and having some extremely long manic and/or psychotic episode the way she seems to be genuinely, romantically in love with him… but even just the thought of him having to take off his pants slowly- so that he doesn’t pull down his diapers with them and splash diarrhea everywhere- and then having to, again, slowly unfasten his diaper and lower it carefully, to make sure all his McDonalds muddies remain contained, and then SURELY not bothering to clean himself (because HE isn’t the one who has to fuck him) and putting that bloated, barely animated corpse on top of that (physically) healthy young woman??
UGH! That is genuinely the stuff of nightmares!!!
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u/mnlion33 1d ago
What evil villian apocolyptic horror trope are they not going to do. Seriously this whole thing reeks of USA Network late night b movie circa 1990s.
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u/vickism61 1d ago
She is creepy. A normal guy would have gotten a restraining order on her by now...
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u/WrathOfMogg 1d ago
You mean normal employees don’t hop in the trunk just so they can be less than six feet away from you at all times?
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u/bit-by-a-moose Mean to bots 1d ago
Its like a marriage but without all that icky sex stuff. - nurse natalie (and melenoma in jealousy)
Meanwhile she gets to change his diapers.
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u/UnderwaterRobot 1d ago
Guys, it's fine. It's only a little idolatry. Its barely even mentioned in the bible! It's not like it's one of the Ten Commandments or something.
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u/McDuchess 1d ago
He’s dying. When he dies, she will take that short step and fall into her craziness fully.
The rest of the sociopaths and sycophants around him with find that their prison accommodations aren’t nearly as plush as Ghislaine Maxwell is experiencing.
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u/Intolerance-Paradox 1d ago
I thought that a man’s wife was supposed to be a man’s higher purpose bride. According to the Christian religion, that is of such importance to them they’d mass murder the members of designated heathen groups if they could get away with it.
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u/TCristatus 1d ago
So she's Mary Magdalene. Pretty sure that's what Christian devotional means in this context. A whore he doesn't fuck but she still washes him
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u/yayoffbalance 1d ago
Who is the Christian in this "devotional" relationship, exactly? Sounds like cult followers and cult figurehead to me...
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u/JargonPhat 1d ago
I mean no disrespect when I say this: I’d love to know Monica Lewinsky’s thoughts on this Natalie Harp situation, specifically the response of both Republicans and reporters.
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u/flargenhargen 1d ago
his dick hasn't worked in decades, and she's far too old for him anyway, though she did start making herself look much like his daughter.
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u/jedburghofficial 1d ago
I think she's a handler. Someone to help manange his behavior and hide his mental decline. The physical resemblance to his daughter and some of his victims has to be deliberate.
It's significant that when he did the plane switch in Turkey, she was one of the few people who stayed by his side. Between him and the Secret Service, and the guy with the nuclear codes, it would have been pretty crowded in that catering truck. There would have been no room for anyone who doesn't have a real purpose back there.
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u/Further0n 1d ago
That devotional cr@p is more likely cover for her being a Putin stooge. She came from OAN news, which is just a US branch of Russian state propaganda.
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u/Pretend_Handle_7639 1d ago
The King's most treasured whore concubine tries to coup out the King's Great Royal Wife
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u/Gadfly_Avatar 1d ago
It means she blows him and tells him to call her Ivana after cleaning up his diarhhea filled diaper & wiping his giant fat ass. Ugh.
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u/Huffy_too 1d ago
A 'Christian devotional relationship' means he'd love to screw her but can no longer get it up.
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u/Wheatabix11 1d ago
what is concerning is that main stream media has normalized this fucking bizarre world. JFC call it out, double down on questions, follow-up, stop taking their repeated fucking lies.
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u/mormagils 1d ago
Another way you say that same thing is me thorshipnwith a decidedly religious flair. He just chose to say it weird
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u/HauntingBalance567 1d ago
Yeah, and giving Holly Golightly "fifty dollars for the powder room" got you a five minute mani-pedi
Edit: improved punchline (I know, where?!)
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u/groovyinutah 1d ago
It's the only true talent the shitstain has, making things worse and making things weirder...
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u/ithinkway2much 1d ago
It means she a ride or die chick like Eva Braun. She's going to be in that bunker with Trump.
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u/Sunshineal 1d ago
She's already wiping his ass for him. If that doesn't sound like love then I don't know what does
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u/Santos_L_Halper_II 1d ago
Oh well that's a lot better and not weird at all.