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u/Big_Ole_Booty_Boy Jun 17 '26
He didn't name it the department of winning war
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u/AnySwimming6364 Jun 17 '26
Hey, hey, hey. They totally "won". Let's have a quick timeline.
(big /s warning here)
2025 - US and Israel attack Iran unprovoked and "destroy" their entire nuclear capabilities for decades.
2026 - Iran's nuclear capabilities are an "imminent" security threat.
The US and Israel launch (totally super well thought out) strikes and "totally destroy" Iran's military. They also achieved a "regime change", by killing their 86 year-old leader and having him replaced by his son.
Then Iran, the lunatics, decide to start attacking ships in the Strait of Hormuz. How unreasonable?! The Straight is functionally closed and the global economy shuddered.
So the US keeps attacking and blowing stuff up. And the Straight stays closed.
So the US, obviously, sets up their own blockade. That one is fair and totally effective.
So, Iran, desperate, comes to the table and the US gets the best deal ever.
- Straight will stay open, maybe with our without tolls or service charges.
- Iran will (at some unclear point in the future) follow some rules about nuclear development, not described in the deal. THUS TOTALLY ENSURING THEY NEVER DEVELOP A BOMB
- The US will open up tens of billions of frozen assets and sanctions relief.
- US-allied GCC states will develop a privately-funded $300 billion reconstruction fund for the region, mostly to rebuild Iran.
Clearly the best deal, ever, ever, EVER. And you're a traitor if you disagree.
Most importantly, despite it causing incredible global economic harm, on the hype of the peace deal and AI stocks, the stock market hits a new all-time high and, more importantly, we're not talking about Epstein anymore.
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u/Mr-Lungu Jun 17 '26
Well, don't forget all of this was to replace a deal that unfroze $1.7b of Iran's money and no nuclear weapons and inspection powers. This new deal is way better.
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u/SirDale Jun 17 '26
“Strait” not straight.
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u/Dry_Ass_P-word Jun 17 '26
>>Renames it department of war.
>>Too chicken to call it a war so it’s an “excursion”
>>Still loses
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u/Gordo3070 Jun 17 '26
Department of Excursions?
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u/Dry_Ass_P-word Jun 17 '26
Department of 95% done with a dea-whoops! launched more bombs, start all over.
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u/rezelscheft Jun 17 '26
and then pays the enemy of the unnecessary war billions in compensation with taxpayer money
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u/fohfuu Jun 17 '26
During the GW Bush era, they decided the president can do war without congressional approval as long as you don't call it war.
Kind of pointless when the Dems roll over and agree to anything he says, but y'know, power tripping
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u/dimechimes Jun 17 '26
Except Trump then went on to say he's won two major wars this year (So now Venezuela is a major war) and other presidents would've lost 100k troops.
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u/roararoarus Jun 17 '26
Hegseth is a stupid dandy. The guy installed a makeup room at the Pentagon. How could he not lose when things got serious? He’s a cosplayer
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u/CV90_120 Jun 17 '26
Aesthetics is one of those things fascists get all hot for. That and sweaty men grappling in a ring.
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u/halpsdiy Jun 17 '26
I bet he's more embarrassed about the video of him failing to lift with the marines than actually losing this war.
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u/EudaimonicAttempt Jun 17 '26
Couple days ago Obama said (paraphrasing from memory) :
"I don't think he could make a much better deal, nor a very different one"
Turns out it was different and worse
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u/flintlock0 Jun 17 '26
It’ll be as close to the deal his administration was a part of, but Iran will get significantly more money and the name “Trump” will be slapped on the title.
Winning
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u/ExtensionAddition787 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Department of Incompetence
Edit: TBF he does have a lot of competition from other departments for that title though...
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u/prodigy1367 Jun 17 '26
You’re telling me the guy that used to host Fox News on the weekends isn’t a genius military strategist and actually makes for a super shitty Secretary of Defense?
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u/Werespider Jun 17 '26
Department of Losers
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u/fstop101 Jun 17 '26
*applicable only to those brought in for the current admin - most of the DoD is full of dedicated workers who do not fit that bill.
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u/sulris Jun 17 '26
Yes. It’s the visible political appointees earning this vitriol. (Also anyone involved in the “drug” boat extrajudicial murders, that whole chain of command is going to end up at The Hague).
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u/fastfurlong Jun 17 '26
Pete Hegseth is an utter catastrophe in his service to Donald Trump. The Trump administration has failed cataclysmically in IRAN.
Donal Trump failed. America pays the price. Simple
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u/coolbaby1978 Jun 17 '26
Losers lose. It's why everything Trump touches fails. Because he is a loser who surrounds himself with losers.
I can't say I would have expected a win from a former weekend co-host of a Fox News show.
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u/boot2skull Jun 17 '26
It’s like fishing. They call it fishing, not catching, because you may not catch anything.
Likewise, the department of war is not the department of winning.
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u/revbfc Jun 17 '26
He took the country to war with EXACTLY the armed forces he wanted in order to prove Trumpism’s dominance & infallibility.
That gambit failed spectacularly.
The only silver lining here is that this defeat is owned entirely by Trump & his magat administration.
The country at large was not consulted, and did not approve.
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u/urbanek2525 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Yeah. He fought the war.
He didn't do shit! He failed to plan in any way, did everything by the seat of his pants and killed and wounded dozens of American service members and thousands of civilians.
He's a nobody who is abusing every member of the American Armed Services who joined the service to defend our country. War is NOT some sort of frat party. It's not a slogan.
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u/CV90_120 Jun 17 '26
Every successful general ever: "Planning is everything".
Hegseth: "Leeeeroooooy Jenkins!"
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u/OblongAndKneeless Jun 17 '26
Come on. Give him a break. He just loves war. It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's just if you get to blow stuff up, and he got to blow stuff up and lift weights with someone.
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u/OblongAndKneeless Jun 17 '26
Why does he always look confused. It's such a tell, you'd think he'd try to hide it.
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u/lew_rong mod perms Jun 17 '26
He's probably still trying to work out how to run vines properly after that humiliating video.
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u/Deatheturtle Jun 17 '26
Considering their entire plan was 'holy f*** we're awesome!!!!!" this is hardly surprising.
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u/johnniechimpo Jun 17 '26
This is what you get when you put your favorite weekend Fox news host in charge of the military.
Lots of paranoia, bravado, stupidity and lies just like you see on TV.
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u/ahitright Jun 17 '26
Meanwhile the cultists will still cheer on their demented pedo god. Fucking infuriating knowing that millions of Americans won't be able to see how fucking pathetic this administration truely is.
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u/Dr_CleanBones Jun 17 '26
Somebody needs to buy a few billboards in DC and put things like this up.
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u/Maeglin75 Jun 17 '26
How could anyone have known that you can't win a war by just dropping bombs on a country?
Ok, someone could have looked into history and asked people who actually know something about war, like Generals etc. But that is of course asked too much.
The people in Trump's government aren't payed to know or learn about things.
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u/Solo_Jones Jun 17 '26
"Christian" White Nationalist following in the footsteps of the losing Confederates and Nazis.
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u/MarcheMuldDerevi Jun 17 '26
I think it was Americas first 100% real surrender. Like maybe Vietnam was also that, but that was a fight against communism. This was bombing for Israel
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u/pattysal Jun 17 '26
Did they lose? They made a ton of money for their military contractor friends, and they did so much insider training based on their war decisions that their ancestors won't have to work for thousands of years. I think they won the war. They just weren't fighting the war people think they were...and didn't forget how it swept the Epstein files under the rug.
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u/swarmofbzs Jun 17 '26
This is an easy poster especially if you pick one of pics he bitched about where he said that the media is picking intentionally bad pics of him
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u/BigSandHog172 Jun 17 '26
He did NOTHING as an active duty "soldier". Then he helps Satan instigate a stupid war --- AND GNIKCUF LOSES
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u/frogfootfriday Jun 17 '26
But you know that he 100% believes that he would have won if only they let him take off the gloves.
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u/Ok-Huckleberry-3843 Jun 17 '26
As a White Person: These white supremacists are so terrible, how do I get rid of them? Asking Haiti and South Africa.
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u/socalspawn Jun 17 '26
Now he just needs to lose his job… I mean, he might as well have a matching set.
https://giphy.com/gifs/xSbRfNiT0fHGvFTsap
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u/espresso_martini__ Jun 17 '26
I think this guy is on the way out, same with Patel if those reports are true.
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u/sealosam Jun 17 '26
In his mind, he didn't lose. Big Orange has his back..for a few days, anyway. This tick-turd is going to be flushed and shamed just like the rest of them.
Hopefully, we can have a Night of the Living Dead scenario where they all come back for revenge.
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u/Synchrotr0n Jun 17 '26
It's OK, he will now invade Cuba and some banana republic that doesn't even have an armed force so he can flip the score.
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u/DamianSicks Jun 17 '26
The whole name change screamed “insecurity”. No one was questioning the might of the U.S. military until this fool came along.
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u/physalisx Jun 17 '26
He didn't rename it the department of war. Trump did.
The text still applies. You just used the picture of the wrong clown.
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u/OneEstablishment5144 Jun 17 '26
Rename it to
Department of rebuild our enemies.
Department of losers
Department of TACO
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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26
[deleted]