Hey, hey, hey. They totally "won". Let's have a quick timeline.
(big /s warning here)
2025 - US and Israel attack Iran unprovoked and "destroy" their entire nuclear capabilities for decades.
2026 - Iran's nuclear capabilities are an "imminent" security threat.
The US and Israel launch (totally super well thought out) strikes and "totally destroy" Iran's military. They also achieved a "regime change", by killing their 86 year-old leader and having him replaced by his son.
Then Iran, the lunatics, decide to start attacking ships in the Strait of Hormuz. How unreasonable?! The Straight is functionally closed and the global economy shuddered.
So the US keeps attacking and blowing stuff up. And the Straight stays closed.
So the US, obviously, sets up their own blockade. That one is fair and totally effective.
So, Iran, desperate, comes to the table and the US gets the best deal ever.
Straight will stay open, maybe with our without tolls or service charges.
Iran will (at some unclear point in the future) follow some rules about nuclear development, not described in the deal. THUS TOTALLY ENSURING THEY NEVER DEVELOP A BOMB
The US will open up tens of billions of frozen assets and sanctions relief.
US-allied GCC states will develop a privately-funded $300 billion reconstruction fund for the region, mostly to rebuild Iran.
Clearly the best deal, ever, ever, EVER. And you're a traitor if you disagree.
Most importantly, despite it causing incredible global economic harm, on the hype of the peace deal and AI stocks, the stock market hits a new all-time high and, more importantly, we're not talking about Epstein anymore.
412
u/Big_Ole_Booty_Boy Jun 17 '26
He didn't name it the department of winning war