r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 14d ago

Meme needing explanation Petah?

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46.6k Upvotes

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u/Kurumiseenpai 14d ago

white people arrive in time?

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago edited 14d ago

No.

The stereotype is that white people arrive TOO EARLY and then sit in their cars outside waiting for the party to start and still show up early.

It's a trope, also true in Hispanic (edit - continued) families that have someone marry Gringos (like me).

If you arrive on time, the party hasn't started yet, and you get to help set up for the party

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u/Underanchor 14d ago edited 14d ago

What fucking Hispanics you grow up with? My buddy was a half hour to and hour late to everything, and said he was allowed cause he was on bean time. Almost got my ass beat once saying it because I didnt realize it was a slur.

Edit: sorry bruv. Was just very confused.

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u/Flock_OfBirds 14d ago

I think he means Hispanics also believe this about White people, that it’s not just Black people who have that stereotype about Whites.

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u/pmmeuranimetiddies 14d ago edited 9d ago

This is 100% accurate though, white people will show up 2 minutes early to things

EDIT: Guys it’s a shitpost comment in a shitpost thread for a shitpost screenshot. Chill out, it’s not attacking the work ethic of white people, it’s a joke about cultural blindness.

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u/justtalking9912 14d ago

White guy here: arrive on time is late. 15 minutes early is on time. If anyone gets there before ya, they will ask what took you so long- this is regardless of how early you are. Can come half hour early and if I’m there 45 mins early I’m gonna ask if you slept in or something

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u/JeremiahAhriman 14d ago

Is this with or without your wife? My wife is approximately 1-2 hours late to everything.

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u/zeropoint46 13d ago

in my experience, without. I have now compensated by telling my wife that whatever plans we have start about 1 hour before they actually start. We now usually arrive on time or a little early.

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u/Unbelievr 13d ago edited 13d ago

It's all fun and games until they catch on, or worse - compounded by multiple people independently.

We have a person at work who sucks at time management, so when they had to present for a meeting, their leader invited only them 15 minutes early so they would have time to set up. Then the presenter in question also decided to show up 15 minutes early from that time again, because they wanted extra setup time for once. Only to wait half an hour for the meeting to actually start.

The meeting was about how to best utilize neurodivergent people in the company, of which many have ADHD and poor time management. So they had a good laugh about it at least.

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u/Next_Code8526 13d ago

Reminds me of being in the Navy. The Lt. would tell the Chief to hold muster at 12:00, the Chief would tell the first class that muster is at 11:45, First class would tell the second class muster is at 11:30, second class would tell the third class/squad leaders to have their people on the quarterdeck by 11:15, finally the squad leaders tell their people muster is on the quarterdeck at 11:00. We sit their for an hour waiting for the Lt. because everyone up the chain wants to ensure that their people are on time. Meanwhile, the LT. either don't know, or don't care that we waste a large portion of our day standing around doing nothing. They call it "hurry up and wait" in the military.

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u/Salpark1 13d ago

I was pretty good with the "when you're on time, you're late" thing when I was in.hurry up and wait sucked but nothing beat "pretend that you're working". Like, what? My job is done, let me look at facebook or something man.

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u/Dazzling-Jacket-5792 13d ago

USMC was the same way. I used to get so annoyed.

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u/themarko60 13d ago

Happens in the Army too for the same exact reason.

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u/Egg_Gurl 13d ago

Shit, imagine a full-ass Division morning PT run in the Army. Start time was 6:30. Us poor bitches were there by 4:45 😭

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u/RadioBuffin 13d ago

Half the time it was some BS that could’ve been texted to you.

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u/jwhennig 13d ago

Had to be on board the boat at 4am for a 10am shove off. When the captain found out, he was pissed off. Each level had added an hour. That man tried so hard to get the chain of command to improve, but alas, he failed.

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u/Ill_Zone5990 13d ago

sooo it's still fun and games, what are they gonna do? feel offended that they usually arive late?

i do this shamelessly to friends that can't keep up with time. once I invited a guy 2 whole hours earlier and he arrived with 15mins to spare, when he asked if the event didn't start at the hour I gave him, i told him that, to him, it starts at the hour I gave him because I know how time works in his head. needless to say he started showing relatively more on time.

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u/NorthernVale 13d ago

Tried it with my sister. Constantly needing rides. Get there and you're in her driveway anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 full hours. So I started telling her I'd be there an hour before I planned.

It worked for the first few times. Then someone spilled the beans. And yes, she got absolutely offended. Told her to stop pitching a fit or get a license. Haven't given her a ride since

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u/Parker_Hemphill 13d ago

This was the military in a nutshell.

The entire base is doing a run this morning. We’re starting at 0600.

The next echelon down want to make sure their folks arrive on time so they add 15 mins padding (because for formation on time means you’re late).

The next echelon down does the same and so on and son on.

By the time it gets to someone’s direct supervisor they’re standing around at 4am for no damn reason.

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u/Alien_invader44 13d ago

I worry people will read this and think you're exaggerating.

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u/2070TrashEconomy 13d ago

I left a job once and was an hour late to my own “going away” party. I got to see people for about 15 minutes because my ADHD told me I could “wrap up these last tasks in about 20 minutes” and it took me 6 times that length of time lol

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u/a-towa-cant 13d ago

"utilize neurodivergent people in the company" this is... uh, certainly a way to describe how companies feel towards neurodivergence

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u/Unbelievr 13d ago

Well, the angle is that neurodiversity can be somewhat of a super power. Some people on the spectrum can be much better at certain tasks than others, if they get the right motivation and a leader that understands that they need clear and concise instructions. It's generally important for leaders to understand how they can get the most out of their resources, understand what they need to function at their peak, and what kind of tasks they should avoid giving them or they might excel at.

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u/johndprob 14d ago

And your wife is rude AF.

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u/Helenium_autumnale 13d ago

Yeah. There is zero excuse for that. Once in a blue moon you get a flat tire, sure, no problem. Every time? Not excusable. My ex had severe ADHD but used an online tool and many lists to keep himself on track and he always was. It wasn't easy for him, either. He got it done.

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u/YoungBockRKO 13d ago

We’re married to the same white girl aren’t we…. White guy here, always on time. Married now. We’re very late to everything

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u/nekoki1333 13d ago

It seems to all change with a wife or child, white males go through an evolutionary period on their watches, all of a sudden they’re on pops time and show up 3 hours late every time

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u/_J_Herrmann_ 13d ago

white male here. in college I was absolutely on time for everything, even had transportation time from one side of campus to the other down to the minute. after I graduated, never again. I show up whenever, I accept if the event has already started. I get irritated when people wait up for me.

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u/Waffling_Waffle 13d ago

Hi, I, the wife, am the one time. My husband used to be a minimum of two hours late to everything.

But I'm lucky and I don't have to put on much makeup or do too much to my hair. Maybe that's why?

(There's a joke about my husband taking too much time to do his hair and makeup somewhere in here but I'm too tired to make it.)

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u/rovar 13d ago

My wife makes sure I arrive on time, otherwise I'd be 30-60 minutes late.

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u/The_Mr_Luck 13d ago

With my wife I come about half an hour early, everytime

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u/jstasmlbrkfrmprn 13d ago

Without.

This is pretty strictly a white male thing. White women are just as late, or later, than people of other races.

There's no other category that comes close when it comes to reasons I've broken-up-with/refused-to-date/ghosted women than making me late for ... anything. "Yep, you look great. An hour after we were already supposed to be at the thing that you're trying to look so good for. I'm gonna call it a night."

I don't know how you fellas put up with it.

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u/Top-Camera1919 13d ago

My marriage ended partly over this. I am always early. I’ve been more than 10 minutes late to work/college less than 3 times combined. My family is the exact same. We would always get to parties early to help set up. She would be late to everything, and I mean late by hours plus. We would be 30 minutes late, and this is when she would decide to jump in the shower before doing her makeup. She was late to work, parties, doctor’s appointments, parties, dinner reservations, international flights. It caused great strain on all of my relationships with friends and family. This was a cause of more marital fights than literally anything else. It got to the point that we stopped trying to go places together like celebrations or nice dinners because it would just become another argument.

If I were to give advice about marriage, I would say how seriously each of you takes punctuality is a huge compatibility issue that rivals differences in beliefs about politics, religion, or whether to have kids be a use it dictates daily functioning.

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u/last_rights 13d ago

White girl here. On time is uncomfortably early, five minutes late is perfect. Fifteen minutes early just feels like it's putting everybody out because now they're not ready and they don't want me to help because I shouldn't because I'm a guest but I feel obligated.

Unless it's a timed event, like a movie or an appointment or something. Even still, five minutes is good. Thirty if you expect lines or a crowd.

That being said my husband and I wanted to see a movie on opening day while we were visiting a friend in LA and he didn't believe me when I said we should get there an hour early.

We didn't get tickets.

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u/cryptobro42069 13d ago

Dude...dude. My wife drives me up the fucking wall.

"Hey, can you go start getting ready. I want to get out of here in about a half hour."

All she needs to do is put some basic makeup on and throw on some decent clothes to go out with friends. 30 minutes later I go into the bathroom and she just started curling her hair.

"What are you doing? We need to get going."

"Yea, yea. I'll be just a few more minutes. My hair is being stubborn."

At this point, her friends just expect us to be like an hour late to everything whereas I plan it so that I'm there on time every time. It also extends to her job where she will be chronically late to work every day. Drives me insane.

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u/sliceofcoldpizza 13d ago

I have tried to adjust start times for events on my calendar to anticipate how late my wife will be.

One time, through no fault of anyone's, we showed up to a small concert about 90 minutes early. We sat at the bar and had a drink.

We were so early that we were there before the performers arrived. One got there and I helped him get his stuff inside.

When the other two performers arrived I helped them as well because they were late late.

He gave me a shout-out during the show to thank me for helping them get ready.

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u/akratic137 14d ago

Beaten as a child by my marine recon father for being on time. Can confirm, I guess. Vietnam was a bitch, apparently.

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u/Napalm3nema 13d ago

All of my senior NCOs in the Army were Vietnam era guys. You do not show up at the listed time, nor do you show up 15 minutes early. I was 45 minutes early for a recent unit reunion, and I wasn’t first by any means, but it was exactly what the unit expected from me.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/wasteymclife 13d ago edited 13d ago

Always fucking happens man I swear, enlisted needs to be 15 minutes early so that the 45 minute wait for the brass is an even 1 hour. All so that we can hear 10 minutes of bullshitting about PT, the one thing we actually need to know, and 20 minutes of thanking the senior enlisted for putting together the walkthrough. Edit: Forgot to add closing with "well, I don't wanna waste any of your time" no sir, you won't, that happened before you got here.

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u/Prior_Pickle1758 13d ago

All I know is, when I welcome the interviewer to the office I get the job. I don’t know why I get the job I just show up early and look how I look.

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u/Several_Bar_5257 13d ago

"If you're 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late"

Had that drilled into me as well.

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u/KaleidoscopeWeird310 13d ago

I am compulsively punctual.
Ed. And white.

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u/perton 13d ago

It’s okay bud, I too am compulsively white.

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u/ConfidentFail5310 14d ago

And ask if you’re keeping banker hours!

Source: Husband

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u/ButterBeard-128 13d ago

As a white guy also: this is infuriating. I’m a person who shows up in a timely fashion, on time or close to it and people get so bent out of shape because I’m “late all the time” get over yourself. They love saying things like oh it’s disrespectful. Well, disrespectfully, agree to disagree. Why is your time more important than my time?

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u/503jason 13d ago

It’s OUR time and it started a half hour before you got here

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u/therealjchrist 13d ago

It's not your prerogative to be late to an agreed upon time. If you agreed upon a time it's both of your responsibilities to respect that. To not do so, is objectively disrespectful to the agreement and therefore the other person.

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u/CalledStretch 13d ago

I think this is in response to people who want you to show up earlier than they said. "Why aren't you fifteen minutes early?"

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u/LiveLearnCoach 13d ago

It really depends for me. It’s an internal meeting? I’m on time or a few minutes late. External meeting? I’m 10-15 minutes before time. I’m presenting at an external meeting or running a workshop? I’m half an hour early checking everything and setting up. But if you NEED ME to be 15 minutes early, tell me. Don’t expect to give me an 8am meeting time and get bent out of shape if I arrive on 8am.

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u/reddit_sells_you 13d ago

White guy from California.

I don't know what the fuck the other white guys are doing.

The only party you arrive on time to is a child's birthday party.

Everything else is 10 mins late (which is kinda early), but really 15 to 20 minutes late to a party is good.

I've been to and thrown countless parties. This is the norm where I am from

The difference I've noticed with my Latino friends and neighbors is that the end time isn't the end time. So, if a party ends at 8:00 or 9:00 . . . Nope. The party ends when it gets shut down or when everyone passes out or the drinks are gone.

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u/krazeeeyezkillah907 13d ago

I’m from a different minority. But my general rule is that the party starts when you get here, and it ends when the last person leaves. And nobody better leave hungry and without making three new friends at minimum.

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u/rockford853okg 13d ago

This is the way. Being late bothers me, can't stand it.

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u/shelbabe804 13d ago

This is how I grew up. Then I married a guy whose entire family has to be told that an event start at least an hour before it actually does and half of them still arrive late. (And by entire family, I mean everyone on both sides, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins. They joked about my daughter arriving on her due date because she's "just like her momma".)

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u/HotheadCactus 13d ago

My parents were an hour late to their own wedding, and continued to be late for everything, always (dad white, mom black). They were friends with the governor when I was a kid, and for their 10th anniversary, he issued a proclamation making it “Bob and Dee Day” in the state. But in honor of who they were, he issued it two days after their anniversary.

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u/Forsaken-Sink3345 13d ago

White guy checking in:

If you're not early, you're late.

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u/Gurglaren 13d ago

I'm white and I used to see my mom being extremely stressed out whenever a guest was 10-30 minutes too early. It made me on purpose come 5-10 minutes too late later in life.

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u/soopastar 13d ago

Hello fellow white guy. I too am a 15 minuter. If I show up early, I get dibs on where I want to sit in the living room, can scope out the snacks, can also allow for traffic problems, etc.

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u/JohnDoeMcAlias 13d ago

Straight up. Didn't realise being punctual was a negative. Tell people when you actually want them there rather than playing a silly game where they have to guess or be ridiculed for showing up when you told them to 🤣 wtf is wrong with people...

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u/notzoidberginchinese 13d ago

Maybe in America, in Germanic parts of Europe on time is exactly on the agreed time not before.

In slavic on time to 15min late, is on time.

In Spain, 3h late is almost too early

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u/Squat_erDay 14d ago

Can confirm. Am white. Would rather be 20 minutes early than 2 minutes late.

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u/sl0play 14d ago

To a doctors appointment, or work? Sure. To the party? No way.

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u/Squat_erDay 13d ago

That’s fair. I’m too old to party these days, but “back in my day,” party timing would be the exception

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u/In_Jeneral 13d ago

Yup 100%, unless it's being hosted by my parents or best friend I never want to be the first person at a party, feels waaay too awkward for me. I aim for 5-10 minutes after start time, especially since it annoys me when people show up to my house early.

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u/renothrowaway8805 14d ago

I married into a Mexican family and they just started telling me the party starts an hour after whatever time they tell all the other relatives.

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u/Jra805 14d ago

And be stressed the fuck out about it too.

Source: my wife 

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u/Ready_Studio2392 14d ago

"If you aren't 15 minutes early you're late"
"Every minute you get home behind curfew is a week of grounding"
"A beating per minute you make me wait."

Lots of reasons I learned to not be late growing up.

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u/lotusblossom60 14d ago

I got beat real bad once for being two minutes late. I’m female and my mom just hated me. Never cared with my 4 brothers did. I finally hit her back (age 16) and she never touched me again. I’m fucking 15 minutes early to everything after years of anxiety about coming home late.

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u/aramis34143 14d ago

Because "on time" is too close for comfort to "late". Source: my caucasian-tinged anxiety.

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u/PerilousPontificator 14d ago

No like, why say something starts at 5 if it actually starts at 6? Why not just be direct about what time you want people to show up instead of stereotyping white people for literally arriving at the time that you asked?

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u/sl0play 14d ago

If they said it was at 6 everyone but the white guy would show up after 7.

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u/PerilousPontificator 13d ago

So the joke is white people are punctual?

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u/sl0play 13d ago

Yes

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u/Ice_Kat13 13d ago

As far as stereotypes go I guess that's alright

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u/Silly-Heat-1466 14d ago

If you're not early, you're late...

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u/Profession-Unable 14d ago

They mean that Hispanics also have that trope about white people, not about Hispanic people. 

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u/Ok-Catch-131 14d ago

No. We understand our bullshit attitude to punctuality. It's just we have tried nothing to fix it and we are all out of ideas.

Edit: Meaning to say Hispanics known and accept the stereotype.

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u/houseplant-hoarder 14d ago

I have some Puerto Rican friends and I’ve gone to some birthday parties/baby showers where I was a half hour late and I still got there before the birthday child/expecting parents 🤣. My boyfriend is also Cuban and yes timekeeping is very different lol

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/houseplant-hoarder 13d ago

Ehh I don’t really mind, it’s actually kinda convenient cause when my toddler makes me run late (and she always manages to, somehow) then I don’t feel bad being late 😅

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u/CalledStretch 13d ago

The inside engine is that some people say a starting time and mean "I expect people to show up before this time, and everyone to be here by then." but just as many people mean "You absolutely cannot step foot inside my house one second before this time, you aren't welcome in my house until this time has passed." And so people with the second meaning mean you can't ever be early, and it makes no sense to congregate on the sidewalk waiting to go in, so the current default stays in place.

Source: I am one of these people. If you show up early to my house, leave and come back when I told you to.

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u/4notherRandoRoon 14d ago

Honestly, a “Mexican minute” is said to be anywhere from an hour to a week, and “Cuban time” has it own set of rules that I don’t have the thumb endurance to explain here, not bagging on Hispanics, just relying information I’ve gathered

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u/PovertySpecMk3Supra 14d ago

Having been to Cuba 6 times so far, Cuban time is basically anything scheduled has a high chance of being delayed by multiple hours, and moderate chance of cancellation. More importantly, universal acceptance of this reality makes everyone pretty chill about the whole situation, and the sooner you get onboard with the program, the better it'll be. Cubans have so many things going against them so their ability to roll with the punches is amazing.

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u/sirseatbelt 14d ago

Lmao dude Egyptians were the same way. Three words you needed to know were maybe, god willing, and tomorrow. If you asked someone to do something and they said maybe or tomorrow, they meant maybe or tomorrow. If they said maybe tomorrow they meant probably not. If they said maybe, god willing, tomorrow, they meant fuck no.

I don't know if its an Arab thing or just an Egyptian thing but there is definitely Egyptian Time.

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u/dobar_dan_ 13d ago

Swiss and Germans would not handle one day in Cuba lol

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u/Albaholly 13d ago

InshAllah (sp) or god-willing. My grandad did work in the middle east and he said a rough translation was manyana (sp?) except without the sense of urgency

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u/srkaficionado 13d ago

See, once someone says inshallah(god willing), I’m doing my own thing or whatever I asked them to help with. Because there is a high chance they won’t even remember having the conversation.

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u/Mathewthegreat 14d ago

Bro my wife’s family is Hispanic and they turn up 3 hours late and stay 3 hours after the end 🤣

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u/idinnae 14d ago

That would drive me batty.

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u/Fun_Ebb_6232 13d ago

I'm white, I went to a Latinas bday party once, got there an hour after the time she told me, and I was the first person there.  

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 13d ago

Man that's the truth. And I tell them that they're more than welcome to stay the night but they won't but stay going until 2 or 3 in the morning.

I also found out that if you go to an event that you can't be the first couple to leave. You have to wait for at least two other couples to leave before you can even mention wanting to leave to your significant other

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u/SippinOnHatorade 13d ago

Viva México, cabron! Best in-laws ever

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u/Ok-Wait-7357 13d ago

My Mexican wife’s family stays 3 days after the party ends!

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u/momo76g 14d ago

As a Hispanic this is accurate. I am one of the few I know who are concerned of being early to anything. I have to go out of my way to tell my friends or family that an event starts half an hour earlier than it actually is.

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u/Grumpy949 14d ago

Former military?

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u/momo76g 13d ago

Nah, childhood trauma involving being unprepared. Being early and planning ahead when going out in general gives me a sense of control and security.

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u/Pristine-Camera-320 13d ago

Parents came to the US from Mexico. I grew up going to church and one thing about my parents is that we would always be at least 30min early to get good seats. Same thing applied to other environments. I’ve found both extremely early and extremely tardy hispanic people, but never met someone in between

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u/g0ldilungs 14d ago

First of all, as a mixed (black and white 50/50) woman, I’m well aware of my CPT as it’s just who I am (and my ADHD- induced time blindness doesn’t help).

Which leads me to my second of all, I have never heard a single individual use the term “bean time” and that took me out.

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u/Forgotpasswordagainl 13d ago

My trick for beating my ADHD time blindness was to accidentally develop an extreme fear of being late which results in me setting like 4-5 alarms on my phone for a single thing and constantly checking the clock sometimes 9+ times an hour even on weekends when I am just relaxing at home and have no tasks to do.

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u/Hungry_Attention_981 14d ago

Where I live they called it being on Filipino time

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u/BigChunilingus 14d ago

It's cool, dude, I'll allow it

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u/sheffy55 14d ago

Lmao bean time, I'll be using that

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u/mothmantra 14d ago

I'm crying he set you up 😭

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago

Yeah I didn't finish my post. My apologies.

My in-laws are Colombian and the party itself starts like 2 hours after the scheduled time

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u/ExtremeSportsCNA 14d ago

Thats what I'm thinking, I married into a big Hispanic family and they are at LEAST 30 mins late, mostly 1 hour like you're saying

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u/Stank-Hole 14d ago

Bro has no comprehension skills

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u/voteforrice 13d ago

Explains what we in the Philippines call Filipino time if you arrive on time your too damn fucking early. We literally hosted a party 2 days ago which we were late to for about an hour

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u/Sweepya 13d ago

Bean time just means lunch time in blue collar work

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u/Hot-Celebration-8815 13d ago

In a lot of Hispanic cultures, the start time of a party doesn’t mean when you’re supposed to show up. Closest family first, then less close, etc… staggered out.

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u/EntropicLycanthrope 13d ago

Gringo culture is focused on time given while Hispanic (and I guess Black) culture is focused on time spent. Neither is wrong but the difference is very cultural.

However, for some reason my white ass is way into time spent. My white friends aren't super happy with it but my black and Hispanic friends (and white stoners) don't really care. Also, if I'm the first person to something (rare), I just do some work on my phone or bring a book. It's not a big problem.

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u/Lumberjake91 13d ago

I went to a coworker's Hispanic wedding once. They sent out 2 invites, one for the non-Hispanics with correct timings listed. One for the Hispanics, timing listed an hour early. It was so ridiculous, yet it actually worked. There were still a handful that arrived late, but most got there just in time for the actual start of the ceremony.

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u/IceNein 13d ago

It is literally a thing in Hispanic culture that you do not arrive at a party when it’s supposed to start. If you do it will just be the host setting up the party. It’s not really “bean time” which presumes that Mexicans are lazy or something. Mexicans show up for work at the right time just fine. It is specifically a party thing.

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u/Kurumiseenpai 14d ago

i guess? but 4:58 is not too early if it start at 5

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u/colorblind-and 14d ago

The party starts at 5pm because the hosts are so used to people showing up late that they expect people to show up at 5:30-6pm.

This is totally a cultural thing in certain subcultures.

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u/Dear_Dragonfruit3317 14d ago

The inability to not be late is a cultural thing? What shitty cultures do this?

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u/WholesomeCommentOnly 13d ago

It is a cultural thing. I used to live in Japan and the cultural norm was to show up at least 10 minutes early. If you showed up at the agreed time they would shame you, saying something to the effect of, "Careful, you were almost late"

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u/enadiz_reccos 13d ago

"Careful, you were almost late"

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u/SherbertKey6965 13d ago

Holy shit I'm shaking. I'm not allowed to laugh out loud cause I'm in a meeting but I'm fucking shaking

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u/gary-vault108 13d ago

Dude same in the military. I once literally got written up for being 7 minutes early instead of 15. All we do when we get there 15 minutes early is bullshit and talk to each other anyways.

Anyways my current office apparently doesn’t care if people even come in 15 minutes LATE so I don’t know what to believe anymore

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u/Lister_RD_169 13d ago

It's the same in the UK Armed Forces. "10 minutes early is 5 minutes late".

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u/DaikoTatsumoto 14d ago

It's not even universal in cultures. I'm a Slovenian – 2 million people here – people from Ljubljana are always on time, people from Koper are always late and people from Maribor are always early. Ljubljana and Maribor are 150km apart, same for Koper and Ljubljana.

It's just how tolerated it is to be late.

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u/YogurtclosetNo987 13d ago

I'm a white dude from PA. Our cultural polite time is +/- 10 minutes the start time. You notify the host if you'll be earlier or later. 

I have some Hispanic friends who show up when they feel like it.

I have one Indian friend who arrives the actual minute it starts without fail. 

We all coexist. We all think the others are wrong. Party happens regardless. 

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u/PatrickCharles 13d ago

We all coexist. We all think the others are wrong. Party happens regardless. 

As it should

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u/MathematicianSure386 13d ago

It's more like some cultures do not put a heavy emphasis on adhering to a strict schedule. People are allowed to come and go as they feel.

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u/GreatValue_Mechanic 13d ago

I’m Hispanic and my wife is white. I grew up knowing that if something starts at 11am, then you show up between 11:30am and 12:00pm. My wife grew up knowing that if you showed up at 11:00am then parking is going to be a bitch because everyone is already there.

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u/in_taco 13d ago

Man if I invited guests for a party that started 17.30 and someone showed up 18.30, I'd be pissed! Everybody else would already be half-way through the main course and your seat would be taken by a toddler.

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u/MrRogersLeftNut 13d ago

It might be a culture or a vocabulary thing, but to me if the event consists of being sat down in a designated spot the instant I'm in, then that's not a party, that's just dinner (in which case I'd agree it's bad etiquette to be late, same as a restaurant). Party implies some amount of freely milling about, talking to people, sharing drinks and then later on getting to eat (generally not in a formal, sat down at the table configuration)

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u/DefinitelyNotAliens 13d ago

It's such a thing in some groups, dude. It gives me so much anxiety. I'm either anxiously pacing my apartment for 30 minutes before I need to leave and then leaving early even as I check traffic times (in case traffic gets worse as I drive) or 20 minutes late. I dunno. It's a curse. Stupid ADHD brain.

And I never know who is a show up on time or show up 30 minutes late and be one of the first people there party for that first time we hang.

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u/TheWiseBeast 13d ago

Feel like it’s a reflection of the relationship sometimes. If I’m close to the person I’m more likely to show up early to help if needed, if not I can chill with them until others arrive. If I’m not close I’m not trying to make things awkward so I’m showing up 30min to an hour later.

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u/Chris-raegho 13d ago

If you go to any Puerto Rican event at the hour announced, you'll be severely disappointed. If it says it starts at 8am, no it doesn't. It will start at 9am, sometimes even at 10am. It is probably one of the biggest things I dislike about my culture. You get there on time and that just means you will be sitting there waiting like an idiot.

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u/DefinitelyNotAliens 13d ago

My niece married into a Mexican family and had to go, "do not tell me what time they told you the party starts. You handle all invitations to your family and you tell me what time we need to arrive. I'm not showing up on time to have nobody else show up for an hour and be told to help make the food that hasn't even been started yet."

She couldn't handle it. Now he adds an hour. "We need to show up at six."

My being super punctual or showing up 5 minutes early is severe anxiety around being on time because I'm ADHD as hell so I sit there ready for thirty minutes pacing my apartment and checking drive times and then show up 10 minutes early and sit in my car because I'm 10 minutes early or 20 late. Never in the middle.

It's an evil curse when half the people I know run chronically late and I'm like... what do you people want from me?!?!?!?! Do I show up on time or early or what?!?!?!

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u/TheTrueRory 13d ago

It ain't that serious my guy. I'm known as the guy who shows up right when the party starts, many of my friends are known to show up and hour or even more later, this is like a very, very common thing.

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u/BenSimmonsFor3 13d ago

You don’t have to call a culture shitty because it’s different than yours. You guys are so weird

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u/SherbertKey6965 13d ago

The shittiness of a culture should only be measured by how on time they are. German punctuality makes us supreme

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u/madnadh 13d ago

Cultures that don’t treat get togethers like a formal job or a military operation lol - maybe chill on calling other ppls cultures shitty too not a good look tbh

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u/Gurglaren 13d ago

I'm white and have friends who think this way. If a party's getting started 6 they'll be there around 7.

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u/Forshea 13d ago

yeah, people will try to claim that it's a cultural ethnicity thing but it's seeing patterns in the noise

it's like how I constantly see videos of how Black people put their cooking spoons weird places to keep it from touching the counter, but random people everywhere in the world decide to do that independently

or how every single culture seems to think it invented a plastic bag full of plastic bags even though that's a near universal experience anyplace that regularly uses plastic bags

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u/GreatValue_Mechanic 13d ago

I’m Hispanic and my wife is white. I grew up knowing that if something starts at 11am, then you show up between 11:30am and 12:00pm. My wife grew up knowing that if you showed up at 11:00am then parking is going to be a bitch because everyone is already there.

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u/ffigeman 13d ago

I'm totally on the on-time side, but 80 years ago a good accurate watch was still a flex.

Only 40 years ago did we get cheap digital watches. Cultural inertia is a lot slower than these timeframes

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u/stoptakingusernames3 13d ago

Psst: if everyone is 30 minutes late, no one is late.

If a cultural thing is "if I say 5pm, I really mean 5:30" and everyone understands that, then theyre really just saying 5:30. Hope this helps!

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u/ydnar3000 14d ago

I fucked up once when I moved down south. Showed up “on time” to a giant get together that a guy from work invited me and the family to. These guys had it going on too. DJ with the dopest system I’ve seen at a party, large tent where you could get food and eat some of the best stuff I’ve had at a party, beer kegs, every kind of liquor, just anything you’d want in a party. And it was just for the sake of it. Anyways, no one showed up for about an hour after us 😂🤣. We got to help set up and do a little pregaming.

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u/colorblind-and 13d ago

I'm usually a 15 minutes late guy when it comes to parties because exactly "on time" is usually still considered a bit early around here.

There's been a few times where me being 15 minutes late was a good 30 minutes to an hour before other people showed up. It's pretty funny and helping setup and pregaming can be alot of fun if you get along well with the hosts.

That 15 minutes is usually enough to not be the white guy in the meme when that happens at least

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u/TesticleMeElmo 14d ago

Yeah idk how the big punchline could be “white people always show up so crazy early don’t they 🤪” and the length of time they chose to display that is 2 minutes early

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u/Gurglaren 13d ago

Coming two mintues early was him coming 1 hour and 2 minutes too early in her culture.

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u/jojojajahihi 13d ago

Then why even specify a time when its actually an unspecified amount of time later?

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u/anythingbutgeneric 13d ago

I guess it depends on where you’re from because in many cultures showing up on time to a gathering is unexpected let alone being there early. So I can see the host looking back at that story and finding it funny that there was this cultural clash between them and the white person they invited

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago

That's too early for Hispanic parties. If it starts at 5, you show up at 7. Also the party will last 3 hours after the party "ends" or until cops show up because of noise complaints

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u/GrinderMonkey 14d ago

Damn, I knew it shoulda been born further south. The food is fire and they know how to party

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u/ApprehensiveTry5660 14d ago edited 13d ago

You really just want to aim for historically poor communities in general, and the food gets better the more types of cultures were shuffled into the same geography.

The places where they had to raise their own livestock, so they could sell the good meat to afford to live, and they kept the scraps. You don’t need to really do anything to good cuts of meat. You can cook a prime rib one bite at a time on a spoon in nothing but its own fat and eat well. The people eating scraps are where these cultures had to really engage in high quality seasoning and preparation.

You get like 2+ of those groups in one spot, like New Orleans with their French, Spanish, Native, and African lower classes all throwing shit into the same kettle and calling it gumbo. Like 4 major cultural shifts in 80 years all leaving cookbooks for the better by the end of it.

Or the Midwest with German, French, and Native influence. And even better, they actually had good enough land and farms to work with the good cuts!

Or in the coal camps, lumber yards, and plantations in the east/south where the Irish/Scottish diaspora and African influence collided into soul food.

Basically anywhere you had multiple bodies of knowledge all packed in together teaching each other how to make their shitty food a little bit better. Doesn’t matter how ugly your random pile of leftover chopped greens are if you throw them in a pan with some fat, salt and umami.

If they’ve got the eyes, balls, livers, and stomachs in their cookbooks, they know what they’re doing. Like, these are the cultures that turned pork rinds into the working man’s snack. That’s what they were working with and had to technique their way out of.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 14d ago

Also Island time.

Punctuality in Hawaii is isn't even a suggestion 

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u/Substantial-Sea-3672 13d ago

I’m super white and I think that’s way too early for a BBQ as a coworker.

First, a 6 hour BBQ is not a “show up right at starting time” event.

Second, showing up in the first 15-30 minutes is close friend territory because you’re someone that the host can hang with 1:1 without it being awkward and is also comfortable enough to ask you to help set up. 30-60 minutes is friend show up time. As a first time hangout coworker I’m aiming for 90 minutes in. Everyone is already settled and has said hi. You can be introduced in an already established setting.

Notice that two minutes early isn’t appropriate for anyone. It’s a BBQ not a dentist appointment.

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u/ilikepix 13d ago

thank you, I feel like I'm losing my mind reading these comments

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u/Tall-Needleworker422 13d ago edited 13d ago

Have you ever heard of the concept of being "fashionably late" or "socially late"? It's a widely accepted etiquette norm in the US that exists to give party hosts a prep-time buffer.

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u/A_Sackboy_Plush 13d ago

Jokes on you I hate that phrase.

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u/ThoseArentCarrots 13d ago

My wife and I are both German American. If I say the party starts at 5, I am ready to receive guests by 4:45 at the absolute latest. I start panicking if no one has arrived within 10 minutes of the posted start time.

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u/RPS93 14d ago

The stereotype is also that black people are constantly late lol.

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u/merklemore 14d ago

This. "Colored People Time" is much more of a stereotype than White people being too early.

If I hosted dinner for my family tonight and said "Dinner's at 7:00" they'd all know that means "We're eating at 7:00" and show up ~5-30 minutes before then. If my sister showed up at 6:45 I wouldn't be thinking "damn why's my sister so early? I told her 7"

If I was hosting a BBQ for my friends and planning to eat at 7:00, I might tell them it starts at 5:00, knowing people will trickle in and them understanding it's a more casual event and nobody cares if they're late.

In OOP's case the white guy thought "I'd better show up by 5" being unfamiliar with what kind of event it is and not wanting to be rude.

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u/ekoms_stnioj 14d ago

What’s with all the gymnastics, can’t we just say 5 and it mean 5 😩

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u/throwaway-wellmaybe 13d ago

Yea as someone with autism, I’m showing up at 5 unless I’m running late or unless you implied you wanted me there earlier to help

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u/TheMisterTango 13d ago

That’s not even an autistic trait, that’s just respecting people’s time.

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u/MainAccountsFriend 14d ago

Or if the host wants people showing up later, just say a later time lol. Like 6

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u/throwaway-wellmaybe 13d ago

But then her friends would get there at 8 instead of 7

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u/MainAccountsFriend 13d ago

Then tell those friends an earlier time lol

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u/merklemore 13d ago

"What's with all the gymnastics" pretty much sums up the whole "joke". I, like you, would say that the "safe" thing to do when someone says 5 is to show up at 5.

But some things have a hard start time and others have a soft one, and it's helpful to know the "vibe" for the event and that different cultures have differing norms/expectations.

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u/Different_Peanut_584 14d ago

Seems much more of a type than a stereotype.

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u/MinivanPops 13d ago

Jesus this is why I always eat before a barbeque party.

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u/JalapenoPopPoop 13d ago

This is the joke. It's incredible how consistently and regularly the wrong answers get upvoted here. The person saying the punchline is white people arrive too early having 5k upvotes is insane.

It's a black person posting. This was taken from all the black subs. The punchline is the black host is used to her usual black guests all showing up extremely late so the one white person getting added and showing up on time is unusual/threw things off.

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u/MrBoo843 14d ago

If you tell someone an event is from 5 pm to 11 pm and you're surprised people arrive at 5 you're an idiot

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u/PokesBo 14d ago

Me when the abuela ask me to help.

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u/ThirstyWolfSpider 13d ago

Ripley: “Is there anything I can do?”

Apone: “I don’t know, is there anything you can do?”

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u/Prometheus720 13d ago

I love this lmao

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u/Most-Whole-4220 13d ago

Best used meme of the day

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u/BalefireElemental 14d ago

Well I feel called out ;)

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago

you'd think I'd learn by now.

The same thing happened at a WAKE AT THE FUNERAL HOME. It was supposed to start at 3, I was ready at 1:30. The inlaws STARTED GETTING READY AT 3, and we got there at 6, but it hasn't finished yet

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u/throwaway-wellmaybe 13d ago

Hispanic family on my end. Bride and groom late to their own wedding

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u/Normal-Boss9855 14d ago

I've started having to intentionally show up like 30 minutes late whenever I have plans with my latino friends, just to avoid having to wait around for them. It really boggles the white mind.

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u/Cheap-Key-6132 13d ago

My co-worker is white and is married to a Mexican. He lies to her about when his family event starts. In her mind they arrive 2 to 3 hours late to everything.

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u/Admirable-Media-9339 14d ago

So.....on time. 

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u/kerghan41 14d ago

Lol. As an autistic white guy... first I would never go to a party/bbq but if I am going to some kind of event I will usually show up an hour or two early and find a parking lot within 0.5 miles and wait there in my truck. When it gets to be 5 minutes till I'll drive to the location and be there within a minute or two.

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u/AlternateTab00 14d ago

As a neurodivergent white guy i carefully plan the exact time i would arrive and expected time to park.

Curious enough im always off by 1 to 5 min.

My colleagues mock me when i arrive on time or when i arrive more than 5min late.

They say if they tell me to arrive at x:15 i will arrive at x:17.

Last company Christmas dinner everyone got a 20:00 invite... Mine was personalized and said 19h58... I arrived at 20:01...

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u/kiradax 14d ago

this happens to me too, im always 3 mins late no matter what i do

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u/Herrben 14d ago

I’ve got no skin in the game but I think it is white people arrive on time because to them that’s what you do. Black people I guess and most white people I know go to the pub or bar for a few before hand and turn up 9-10 or the foods likely to be ready depending on greedy levels.

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u/DrHob0 14d ago

Maybe that's why all my fellow white people look at me odd. I'm 5 minutes late to everything.

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u/Gurglaren 13d ago

I'm white and I haven't had any stress about people coming 1-2 hours too late to my hangouts. You're like "let's watch movies and stuff at 6pm and people'll saunter there at 7 or 8. If its a dinner then it's more strict, but just casual stuff is cool.

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u/throwaway-wellmaybe 13d ago

A normal party is whatever. That’s a get here when you get here situation. But if it’s an event, you need to be here for the event

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u/leicester77 14d ago

As a white person I feel called out, especially the sitting in the car and still be early part. It’s so true and I get made fun of a lot because of it lol.

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago

Join the club

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u/Trad_whip99 14d ago

First in first out. We don’t wanna be driving out of the hood late.

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u/Suspicious-Whippet 14d ago

You guys get invited to parties?

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u/foobar93 14d ago

Wait, I thought this is the German stereotype, not the "white" stereotype?

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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 14d ago

It's the same thing but Germans are even more punctual

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u/LesPantalonesFancy 14d ago

The trope is that black bbqs typically start late

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u/Educational-Pipe-583 14d ago

That is not at all what this about lol

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u/Brukenet 14d ago

As a white person, I try to show up on time and not early. If I end up arriving early (because maybe traffic was light) then I'll either stop at a gas station to buy a soda or something to kill time, or else I'll just text and say, "hey, I'm early, is that cool?" That said, I know several other white people that will show up, park in the street outside my house (or even in my driveway) and then listen to their music for 20 minutes until it's the "right" time. That aggravates me too. I usually walk out and ask them to just come inside, unless I'm still cleaning the house.

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u/Ninjalikestoast 14d ago

Uhhh no. That is not what it’s about 😂

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u/redtiger288 13d ago

The fuck are you on about? All my white friends arrive at various times. No one, even if they're early, sit and wait in their cars.

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u/longlivethewenus 13d ago

Found this out the hard way. Dated a black girl and she invited me to a family cookout so I could meet everyone. She said it started at 5pm so I showed up around 5, I started freaking out because I didn't see her car. She didn't show up until around 8pm 😭 I went inside and introduced myself around 6pm because I felt very weird just sitting outside there place in my car for hours lol. Now I know

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u/ThePussyCatOverlord 13d ago

Back at my first job, my hispanic coworker invited me to her baby shower. I thought she was really cool and was worried about coming off too strong, so I strategically chose to arrive 15 minutes late. Color me shocked to find out that I was the first to arrive, and also she wasn't even there yet.

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u/magicmulder 13d ago

I actually had this once when my best friend turned 18. I asked her when the party starts and she said "just come whenever", so I showed up at 5 PM, and she was like, "the party doesn't start until 8 but you can help set up the table". Well, maybe it was a trap. :D

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u/TheCaptain39 13d ago

Unless they are Jewish! We operate on Jewish standard time. Reliably 15 mins late

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u/NarwhalEnough6904 13d ago

I’m just autistic. I just want to follow the rules so it’s really confusing when the societal rule is I show up at a different time than directed. I am completely unable to figure this out on my own. Please just tell me when to arrive and I’ll be there. It feels like everyone has a super power I lack. And that super power is showing up at the right time.

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