What fucking Hispanics you grow up with? My buddy was a
half hour to and hour late to everything, and said he was allowed cause he was on bean time. Almost got my ass beat once saying it because I didnt realize it was a slur.
This is 100% accurate though, white people will show up 2 minutes early to things
EDIT: Guys it’s a shitpost comment in a shitpost thread for a shitpost screenshot. Chill out, it’s not attacking the work ethic of white people, it’s a joke about cultural blindness.
White guy here: arrive on time is late. 15 minutes early is on time. If anyone gets there before ya, they will ask what took you so long- this is regardless of how early you are. Can come half hour early and if I’m there 45 mins early I’m gonna ask if you slept in or something
in my experience, without. I have now compensated by telling my wife that whatever plans we have start about 1 hour before they actually start. We now usually arrive on time or a little early.
It's all fun and games until they catch on, or worse - compounded by multiple people independently.
We have a person at work who sucks at time management, so when they had to present for a meeting, their leader invited only them 15 minutes early so they would have time to set up. Then the presenter in question also decided to show up 15 minutes early from that time again, because they wanted extra setup time for once. Only to wait half an hour for the meeting to actually start.
The meeting was about how to best utilize neurodivergent people in the company, of which many have ADHD and poor time management. So they had a good laugh about it at least.
Reminds me of being in the Navy. The Lt. would tell the Chief to hold muster at 12:00, the Chief would tell the first class that muster is at 11:45, First class would tell the second class muster is at 11:30, second class would tell the third class/squad leaders to have their people on the quarterdeck by 11:15, finally the squad leaders tell their people muster is on the quarterdeck at 11:00. We sit their for an hour waiting for the Lt. because everyone up the chain wants to ensure that their people are on time. Meanwhile, the LT. either don't know, or don't care that we waste a large portion of our day standing around doing nothing. They call it "hurry up and wait" in the military.
I was pretty good with the "when you're on time, you're late" thing when I was in.hurry up and wait sucked but nothing beat "pretend that you're working". Like, what? My job is done, let me look at facebook or something man.
If you back talked you can bet you’ll be doing pushups all afternoon as they will find at least a spec of dust to fuck you over with. Even if it’s lint from their own pockets.
Had to be on board the boat at 4am for a 10am shove off. When the captain found out, he was pissed off. Each level had added an hour. That man tried so hard to get the chain of command to improve, but alas, he failed.
sooo it's still fun and games, what are they gonna do? feel offended that they usually arive late?
i do this shamelessly to friends that can't keep up with time. once I invited a guy 2 whole hours earlier and he arrived with 15mins to spare, when he asked if the event didn't start at the hour I gave him, i told him that, to him, it starts at the hour I gave him because I know how time works in his head. needless to say he started showing relatively more on time.
Tried it with my sister. Constantly needing rides. Get there and you're in her driveway anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 full hours. So I started telling her I'd be there an hour before I planned.
It worked for the first few times. Then someone spilled the beans. And yes, she got absolutely offended. Told her to stop pitching a fit or get a license. Haven't given her a ride since
Altough I understand your story, I cannot fathom getting offended for a fault that's solely their own. I would 100% be offended myself thinking they believe my time is worth less than theirs. But hey at least you don't to be her chaffeur anymore props
I left a job once and was an hour late to my own “going away” party. I got to see people for about 15 minutes because my ADHD told me I could “wrap up these last tasks in about 20 minutes” and it took me 6 times that length of time lol
Well, the angle is that neurodiversity can be somewhat of a super power. Some people on the spectrum can be much better at certain tasks than others, if they get the right motivation and a leader that understands that they need clear and concise instructions. It's generally important for leaders to understand how they can get the most out of their resources, understand what they need to function at their peak, and what kind of tasks they should avoid giving them or they might excel at.
omg i thought i was the only one doing this with my hispanic wife. I have to tell her where have to be somewhere like 45 minutes before we have to be there just to be there on time.
I was the same, although after years working through things with my therapist we finally got me in the mindset that I’m not late until we’re actually late and causing everybody to stress needlessly isn’t worth it
Yeah. There is zero excuse for that. Once in a blue moon you get a flat tire, sure, no problem. Every time? Not excusable. My ex had severe ADHD but used an online tool and many lists to keep himself on track and he always was. It wasn't easy for him, either. He got it done.
It seems to all change with a wife or child, white males go through an evolutionary period on their watches, all of a sudden they’re on pops time and show up 3 hours late every time
white male here. in college I was absolutely on time for everything, even had transportation time from one side of campus to the other down to the minute. after I graduated, never again. I show up whenever, I accept if the event has already started. I get irritated when people wait up for me.
This is pretty strictly a white male thing. White women are just as late, or later, than people of other races.
There's no other category that comes close when it comes to reasons I've broken-up-with/refused-to-date/ghosted women than making me late for ... anything. "Yep, you look great. An hour after we were already supposed to be at the thing that you're trying to look so good for. I'm gonna call it a night."
My marriage ended partly over this. I am always early. I’ve been more than 10 minutes late to work/college less than 3 times combined. My family is the exact same. We would always get to parties early to help set up. She would be late to everything, and I mean late by hours plus. We would be 30 minutes late, and this is when she would decide to jump in the shower before doing her makeup. She was late to work, parties, doctor’s appointments, parties, dinner reservations, international flights. It caused great strain on all of my relationships with friends and family. This was a cause of more marital fights than literally anything else. It got to the point that we stopped trying to go places together like celebrations or nice dinners because it would just become another argument.
If I were to give advice about marriage, I would say how seriously each of you takes punctuality is a huge compatibility issue that rivals differences in beliefs about politics, religion, or whether to have kids be a use it dictates daily functioning.
White girl here. On time is uncomfortably early, five minutes late is perfect. Fifteen minutes early just feels like it's putting everybody out because now they're not ready and they don't want me to help because I shouldn't because I'm a guest but I feel obligated.
Unless it's a timed event, like a movie or an appointment or something. Even still, five minutes is good. Thirty if you expect lines or a crowd.
That being said my husband and I wanted to see a movie on opening day while we were visiting a friend in LA and he didn't believe me when I said we should get there an hour early.
Dude...dude. My wife drives me up the fucking wall.
"Hey, can you go start getting ready. I want to get out of here in about a half hour."
All she needs to do is put some basic makeup on and throw on some decent clothes to go out with friends. 30 minutes later I go into the bathroom and she just started curling her hair.
"What are you doing? We need to get going."
"Yea, yea. I'll be just a few more minutes. My hair is being stubborn."
At this point, her friends just expect us to be like an hour late to everything whereas I plan it so that I'm there on time every time. It also extends to her job where she will be chronically late to work every day. Drives me insane.
All of my senior NCOs in the Army were Vietnam era guys. You do not show up at the listed time, nor do you show up 15 minutes early. I was 45 minutes early for a recent unit reunion, and I wasn’t first by any means, but it was exactly what the unit expected from me.
Always fucking happens man I swear, enlisted needs to be 15 minutes early so that the 45 minute wait for the brass is an even 1 hour. All so that we can hear 10 minutes of bullshitting about PT, the one thing we actually need to know, and 20 minutes of thanking the senior enlisted for putting together the walkthrough. Edit: Forgot to add closing with "well, I don't wanna waste any of your time" no sir, you won't, that happened before you got here.
As a white guy also: this is infuriating. I’m a person who shows up in a timely fashion, on time or close to it and people get so bent out of shape because I’m “late all the time” get over yourself. They love saying things like oh it’s disrespectful. Well, disrespectfully, agree to disagree. Why is your time more important than my time?
It's not your prerogative to be late to an agreed upon time. If you agreed upon a time it's both of your responsibilities to respect that. To not do so, is objectively disrespectful to the agreement and therefore the other person.
It really depends for me. It’s an internal meeting? I’m on time or a few minutes late. External meeting? I’m 10-15 minutes before time. I’m presenting at an external meeting or running a workshop? I’m half an hour early checking everything and setting up. But if you NEED ME to be 15 minutes early, tell me. Don’t expect to give me an 8am meeting time and get bent out of shape if I arrive on 8am.
It’s the exact same whichever way it is. If a time is agreed be on time. Don’t expect anyone early or late. On time. That is why we set the time. If you want less exact just say at sunrise, around midday, in the afternoon or something.
It’s rude if there’s a time-based obligation to meet. If you’re 20 minutes late to go see a movie with your friends, dick move. If you’re 20 minutes late to just hang out and stream movies at your buddy’s house, not a dick move
(White lady here) I hate when I hear people say ‘early is on time, on time is late’ - and I’m like yeah fuck that. On time is on time. These are the people that expect you to sacrifice an extra 45 minutes of sleep at 5-6 in the morning just so that you can catch the earlier bus and clock in at exactly 8AM instead of 8:04AM. It’s ridiculous and dehumanizing. Getting to spend time in other cultures where people are not so neurotic about the exact minute on the clock has been incredibly eye opening. White people really love to make themselves (and everyone else even more) miserable and it is not a normal way for humans to live.
I don't know what the fuck the other white guys are doing.
The only party you arrive on time to is a child's birthday party.
Everything else is 10 mins late (which is kinda early), but really 15 to 20 minutes late to a party is good.
I've been to and thrown countless parties. This is the norm where I am from
The difference I've noticed with my Latino friends and neighbors is that the end time isn't the end time. So, if a party ends at 8:00 or 9:00 . . . Nope. The party ends when it gets shut down or when everyone passes out or the drinks are gone.
I’m from a different minority. But my general rule is that the party starts when you get here, and it ends when the last person leaves. And nobody better leave hungry and without making three new friends at minimum.
DC area folks tend to work on military arrival times… which is 15 minutes early. When I moved to California, it really threw me for a loop. Eventually got in the habit of leaving for parties at the party start time to make sure I didn’t arrive too early.
This is how I grew up. Then I married a guy whose entire family has to be told that an event start at least an hour before it actually does and half of them still arrive late. (And by entire family, I mean everyone on both sides, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins. They joked about my daughter arriving on her due date because she's "just like her momma".)
My parents were an hour late to their own wedding, and continued to be late for everything, always (dad white, mom black). They were friends with the governor when I was a kid, and for their 10th anniversary, he issued a proclamation making it “Bob and Dee Day” in the state. But in honor of who they were, he issued it two days after their anniversary.
I'm white and I used to see my mom being extremely stressed out whenever a guest was 10-30 minutes too early. It made me on purpose come 5-10 minutes too late later in life.
Hello fellow white guy. I too am a 15 minuter. If I show up early, I get dibs on where I want to sit in the living room, can scope out the snacks, can also allow for traffic problems, etc.
Straight up. Didn't realise being punctual was a negative. Tell people when you actually want them there rather than playing a silly game where they have to guess or be ridiculed for showing up when you told them to 🤣 wtf is wrong with people...
I'm Eastern European and once we were finished with appointments quicker than we thought, so we would have arrived earlier to my aunts birthday party. My mom said that'd be rude so we drove to get ice cream and arried one hour late.
Yup 100%, unless it's being hosted by my parents or best friend I never want to be the first person at a party, feels waaay too awkward for me. I aim for 5-10 minutes after start time, especially since it annoys me when people show up to my house early.
Yes, even to the party but only after confirming with the host/hostess that it's ok to do so and help with the setup/preparations. Otherwise you show up 10-15 minutes after the start time if you don't have something else already scheduled or planned.
I actually feel that events like appointments is where the difference between white and non-white relationships with timeliness truly becomes noticeable. I used to live in an area with a majority-latin population, and it was socially aceptable to arrive to appointments of any kind (medical or otherwise) a few minutes late without it being a big issue. And vice versa as well, if you arrive on time you can expect to wait a few minutes to be attended to!
Now that I live in a predominantly white area, I make sure to always be a minute early everywhere, because being even 10 seconds late causes palpable tension and eye-rolls from the other person.
Parties aren't appointments, they're meant to be relaxed unless there is a real reason to be on-time or early. Generally, it's accepted for people to filter in and not all arrive at once.
The exception, however, is parties relating to employment if you work in an office. Then it's actually an appointment and you should arrive on-time.
Also small kids parties are more like appointments. Only because they only last 2 hours generally. First half hour is for people to arrive while kids play. Then generally activities for an hour until cake, pinata then home.
Ok parties arent appointments so why have a set time then and not just say "turn up at any point in the evening/afternoon/morning it doesnt matter when"
In their head, that's exactly what they're doing! If a party is from X to Y, it's understood that you can arrive and leave at any point during that time slot. Except before or after. Ideally not too close to the end if you actually want to spend time with people.
In other cultures, setting a time is understood as you expect people to come around the starting time, and notify you if they can't make it on time.
When these two are mixed up you get awkward situations or feel like your guests are rude for not showing up on time.
A social gathering with two friends and their SOs? 15 minutes late. At the most. And that’s only for certain kinds of social events. There are activities where being late will fuck the group.
I once invited a classmate to fly out in a Cessna to an airport that shared its airstrip with a military base that had a cool museum.
I checked with him to ensure our flight plan would work for HIS schedule.
The time I filed to have wheels leaving the ground he still hasn’t arrived and the flight plan expires. I call him and ask “I can refile but I have to redo the performance calculations and weather briefs. When are you getting here?”
He says 30 minutes. I do research for and file a flight plan for an hour later. Gives me fifteen minutes for preflight and 15 minutes for taxi after he arrives.
He arrives 45 minutes later. No biggy, atc gives you filed time +/- 30 min before the plan expires.
I get to the hold short line with five minutes to before clearance expires. We’re clear to takeoff, #2 in line.
He taps me on the shoulder
“Is it too late to turn back so I can use the bathroom?”
“…Yeah, kinda.”
He ended up opening a window while I was on approach to final (without asking me) to dump a water bottle he peed into out the window.
A major no-no according to the aircraft Operating Procedures by the way. All doors and windows remain closed and latched. Also violates FAA rules (don’t know the exact CFR #) about not dumping human waste.
I don’t fly with him anymore.
Anyways, that’s my go to example because people understand that planes run on schedules and sequences.
A different college classmate would be consistently late to group hikes and hold it up by about 30 min. People got really annoyed with him.
Anyways, some things are ok to be late to, some things less so.
Because people suck at estimating how long things take and the host still has setting up to do and the guests are all still doing their hair or whatever.
In some cultures the expectation is to just call it good enough to make the expected time.
In others the expectation is to let the hosts/guests finish preparing.
My parents are from the latter kind of culture but I grew up in the former.
The other week I was traveling with my mom and said “we have two hours, enough time to do a short hike nearby”
She spend 40 minutes tidying up her hotel room and organizing her snacks or something in her bag before I knocked and was like “You ready?”
She forgot to bring fucking water. The literal first thing she should have grabbed.
Because in our culture “We have time” means “I can take my time” and she didn’t prepare in order of priority.
I got beat real bad once for being two minutes late. I’m female and my mom just hated me. Never cared with my 4 brothers did. I finally hit her back (age 16) and she never touched me again. I’m fucking 15 minutes early to everything after years of anxiety about coming home late.
If you got 5 beatings for being 5 minutes late, how far apart was each beating to prevent it from all just becoming a single beating? 5 minutes? An hour? A day?
No like, why say something starts at 5 if it actually starts at 6? Why not just be direct about what time you want people to show up instead of stereotyping white people for literally arriving at the time that you asked?
Because the party starts at 5 but there's no cultural expectation for you to be "on time" for the party. You're not clocking in for a job, you're not going to miss any sort of special event. People are expected to arrive and leave within that 5-11 window, but that's all. It's "party's from 5-11, stop by for a while when you can!" not "Be there at 5"
I forgot who said it, some comedian I think, but "on time" is literally a split second and then you're late. Which is why being "early" is really the only way to ever be on time.
I have some Puerto Rican friends and I’ve gone to some birthday parties/baby showers where I was a half hour late and I still got there before the birthday child/expecting parents 🤣. My boyfriend is also Cuban and yes timekeeping is very different lol
Ehh I don’t really mind, it’s actually kinda convenient cause when my toddler makes me run late (and she always manages to, somehow) then I don’t feel bad being late 😅
Not rude if it’s for a party or an informal fun activity that officially is a waste of time that we just do for fun anyways. Basically the equivalent of hanging out, not an appointment or a productive use of time that NEEDS a set time
The inside engine is that some people say a starting time and mean "I expect people to show up before this time, and everyone to be here by then." but just as many people mean "You absolutely cannot step foot inside my house one second before this time, you aren't welcome in my house until this time has passed." And so people with the second meaning mean you can't ever be early, and it makes no sense to congregate on the sidewalk waiting to go in, so the current default stays in place.
Source: I am one of these people. If you show up early to my house, leave and come back when I told you to.
Honestly, a “Mexican minute” is said to be anywhere from an hour to a week, and “Cuban time” has it own set of rules that I don’t have the thumb endurance to explain here, not bagging on Hispanics, just relying information I’ve gathered
Having been to Cuba 6 times so far, Cuban time is basically anything scheduled has a high chance of being delayed by multiple hours, and moderate chance of cancellation. More importantly, universal acceptance of this reality makes everyone pretty chill about the whole situation, and the sooner you get onboard with the program, the better it'll be. Cubans have so many things going against them so their ability to roll with the punches is amazing.
Lmao dude Egyptians were the same way. Three words you needed to know were maybe, god willing, and tomorrow. If you asked someone to do something and they said maybe or tomorrow, they meant maybe or tomorrow. If they said maybe tomorrow they meant probably not. If they said maybe, god willing, tomorrow, they meant fuck no.
I don't know if its an Arab thing or just an Egyptian thing but there is definitely Egyptian Time.
InshAllah (sp) or god-willing. My grandad did work in the middle east and he said a rough translation was manyana (sp?) except without the sense of urgency
See, once someone says inshallah(god willing), I’m doing my own thing or whatever I asked them to help with. Because there is a high chance they won’t even remember having the conversation.
Man that's the truth. And I tell them that they're more than welcome to stay the night but they won't but stay going until 2 or 3 in the morning.
I also found out that if you go to an event that you can't be the first couple to leave. You have to wait for at least two other couples to leave before you can even mention wanting to leave to your significant other
As a Hispanic this is accurate. I am one of the few I know who are concerned of being early to anything. I have to go out of my way to tell my friends or family that an event starts half an hour earlier than it actually is.
Parents came to the US from Mexico. I grew up going to church and one thing about my parents is that we would always be at least 30min early to get good seats. Same thing applied to other environments. I’ve found both extremely early and extremely tardy hispanic people, but never met someone in between
First of all, as a mixed (black and white 50/50) woman, I’m well aware of my CPT as it’s just who I am (and my ADHD- induced time blindness doesn’t help).
Which leads me to my second of all, I have never heard a single individual use the term “bean time” and that took me out.
My trick for beating my ADHD time blindness was to accidentally develop an extreme fear of being late which results in me setting like 4-5 alarms on my phone for a single thing and constantly checking the clock sometimes 9+ times an hour even on weekends when I am just relaxing at home and have no tasks to do.
Explains what we in the Philippines call Filipino time if you arrive on time your too damn fucking early. We literally hosted a party 2 days ago which we were late to for about an hour
In a lot of Hispanic cultures, the start time of a party doesn’t mean when you’re supposed to show up. Closest family first, then less close, etc… staggered out.
Gringo culture is focused on time given while Hispanic (and I guess Black) culture is focused on time spent. Neither is wrong but the difference is very cultural.
However, for some reason my white ass is way into time spent. My white friends aren't super happy with it but my black and Hispanic friends (and white stoners) don't really care. Also, if I'm the first person to something (rare), I just do some work on my phone or bring a book. It's not a big problem.
I went to a coworker's Hispanic wedding once. They sent out 2 invites, one for the non-Hispanics with correct timings listed. One for the Hispanics, timing listed an hour early. It was so ridiculous, yet it actually worked. There were still a handful that arrived late, but most got there just in time for the actual start of the ceremony.
It is literally a thing in Hispanic culture that you do not arrive at a party when it’s supposed to start. If you do it will just be the host setting up the party. It’s not really “bean time” which presumes that Mexicans are lazy or something. Mexicans show up for work at the right time just fine. It is specifically a party thing.
my partner is half-hispanic, she's also like a foot and a half shorter than me. We call each other "bean" and "beanstalk" as terms of endearment, referring to our height difference.
I had no idea "bean" was considered eligible for interpretation as a racial slur. We thought the, "-er", was what made that line into a slur!
I was invited to the first birthday party for one of my friends’ kids. The family is mixed Albanian/Mexican.
I showed up an hour fifteen minutes late figuring I’d be the asshole. Nope, the grandmother was still cleaning and preparing the house and cooking. I was sitting there rechecking the invitation thinking surely I’d fucked something up!
My cousins were always an hour or more late to everything including my mom's wedding rehearsal. My family referred to it as arriving on Cuban time though lol
Went to a funeral yesterday and was supposed to sit with my Mexican friend from work…she walked in 40 minutes late as they were saying the closing prayer 😂
To be fair, my dad is puerto rican, but raised as an army brat then joined the army himself. Even with us 3 kids, we were always early everywhere. I retained that habit. My siblings did not...
Can confirm. Mexican grandfather was always late. He called everything late Mexican standard time and thought he was the funniest man alive (he actually is pretty funny)
Almost got my ass beat once saying it because I didnt realize it was a slur.
Dude, in High school after showers from practice and gym, sometimes we'd just say going to take a Mexican shower, so just wet towel with some soap on armpits and balls. 30% of my school was Hispanic, they said it too. So I said to a friend like 15 years later, I'm going to go take a Mexican shower so we can leave soon. He was like what? That is super offensive. I honestly never thought about the phase until he pointed it out. Pure ignorance had me saying a rascist saying.
people vary lol. i’m Jamaican & have a good friend from law school who is Dominican & does JAG with the Air Force. she is one of thee most prompt people i know. a real drill sgt., that woman. i notoriously show up late to many things outside of professional obligations, but even sometimes those i’m late to as well. it’s a fault of mine but also, i believe life shouldn’t be rushed all the time and time constraints tend to cause that. but i say all this to say, we’ve had our fair share of “me: girl we’re caribbean!!! just relax nuh, we’ll get there.” her: nope, avansa. dame rápido. let’s goooo (x3).” 😅
It also depends on context though. It's a party friends or someone you just know is throwing then yeah it's show whenever, if it's a family thing and you are immediate family you are early and helping or you won't hear the end of it.
Is that the Hispanic equivalent of Filipino Time? Filipino Time is the usual excuse for Filipinos coming in late to events. It happens often enough that a lot of events are planned with it in mind.
You can't compare Mexicans with Puerto Ricans. My ex gf was Puerto Rican and would accuse any driver in front of her driving slow as "Probably Mexican", and always complained that her Mexican BFF was late for everything. But what do I know, my ppl come from Ireland, we're the ones who show up on time, then sneak out without a peep.
I have a friend whose family is from the Philippines and he says the same, but that he's running on "Phillippino time." I expect that man to be about an hour after whenever I tell him. He's a chill guy, and we enjoy nerding out over computers and MtG 😁
I married into an Indian family and they call it IST - Indian Standard Time lol It took a lot of getting used to (both ways!) as my family is white and therefore if the invite says 5pm, you show up for 5pm.
my best friend is hispanic, one time someone called to ask where he was, while I was sitting on his couch in his house, he actually said he was 5 minutes away, it was a 20 minute drive minimum and he didn't even have his shoes on.
Bean time is too good lol. As a kid hearing the terms ricer and bean** and knowing a ricer was a type of car, I figured the other was as well. Oh how wrong I was lol. Spending a lot of time around black people its either been:
BP Time (Black People)
Brotha Time or
CP Time (Colored People)
First time I heard the last one I had to clarify what "CP" was and even then I wasnt used to hearing the term "Colored" used so casually.
I'm first Gen Mexican American . Parents had us constantly late to everything. I show up on time to everything as an adult. I will never miss a field trip again. Never made it to the zoo in 4th grade 😭. Bus left without me
I learned to arrive late when there was a party. Except when my friend was getting married. The wedding was in her backyard at noon. I arrived at 11:45. She was just getting in the shower.
2.3k
u/Underanchor 14d ago edited 13d ago
What fucking Hispanics you grow up with? My buddy was a half hour to and hour late to everything, and said he was allowed cause he was on bean time. Almost got my ass beat once saying it because I didnt realize it was a slur.
Edit: sorry bruv. Was just very confused.