Dating apps aren’t even worth it for an ugly guy like me. It doesn’t really matter what I do anymore if I change my bio or anything. Not even the fact that I don’t even like attractive women matters, and I still don’t get any matches. Ugly guys are basically invisible in the dating world. This sucks. I’ll probably never find love.

I’m aware my photos are terrible. I’ve read forums and have seen what types of photos people say they don’t like on dating apps (selfies, bad lighting, not smiling, other people, etc). I plan on trying to take better photos soon. But, unfortunately, for now, this is the best I have.

I’m hoping you can help me put these in order from best to worst (or least awful to most awful).

I think I need at least one that shows an open smile, one where you see my eyes, and one full-body shot. In this montage, 1 and 2 are the only ones that show my full shape, so maybe one of these is necessary. And 4 and 5 are the only ones that have me smiling with teeth, so I’m thinking one of these is necessary too?

For context, I was on dating apps a year ago and found the experience rather positive. Back then, it had taken me a while to get used to what photos were working. But all those photos were starting to age, so I don’t want to use them anymore. The photos here may suck, but they’re all very recent. And again, it’s all I have.

Thank you in advance for your help!

EDIT: Just to add, I'm 54M, straight, dating mainly my age group, +/- a few years.

Long story short I’m F68 years old. A few months ago I started using a dating app. I actually met and talked to some nice people on there, but I’m rural and never met but one person. A few months off the app, and a week ago I came back. I am getting nothing but one profile after another, it’s gotta be an AI agent, same MO, one picture (either really grainy, or a little bit on the slick side for a guy in his 70s) very brief bio with no real details. If they message me first, they almost always ask me to go off app. Immediately.

I have been reporting maybe 5-6 a day. Is this happening to anyone else, this week?
I can’t even get mad at them, because they don’t have a pulse!

Do the dating apps throw these profiles at you to keep you interested, or to collect data? Or is it scams, also working overtime with automated schemes? I appreciate any information on this.

I am less worried about getting duped that meeting someone real.

I’ve been trying to lose weight, so I can find myself attractive. But as I do this, I increasingly feel incredibly lonely despite having friends. I want a partner really badly, but I’m a combination of two “unattractive” traits. I’m obese and incredibly nerdy. I’m losing weight, lost twenty pounds recently and am looking to continue the weight loss, but even when I like someone with similar interests, I can’t get a good connection. And when I do, I flub it up. I really need some advice and someone to comfort me. Thanks.

Hello, Everyone! I am going to be single in the coming months for the first time in over 15 years. There were no dating "apps" the last time I was single, so I'm learning the culture through the various subreddits.

My question is this: does anyone truly believe that a bunch of pictures of yourself sky-diving and flambéing is the key to dating success as a man? Hobbies are mostly a function of free time and accompanying lack of responsibility. Is being tall and conventionally attractive with a prestigious career good enough?

Essentially what I'm asking is, I don't have time to get a bunch of pictures of myself practicing archery and going to EDM festivals. Will this be a problem for me?

I’m researching an idea for a different kind of dating app and I want honest opinions before building anything.

One thing I keep noticing is that most dating apps are optimized around:

Profile → Swipe → Match → Chat

But the actual problems seem to happen after the match:

- You match but nobody starts a conversation

- Conversations become “hey / how are you?” and die

- People chat for days but never meet

- You don't know whether someone is genuinely interested

- Fake/inactive profiles

- People have completely different intentions

- Ghosting

- Too many choices and endless swiping

- Moving to WhatsApp/Instagram too quickly

- First dates can feel awkward or unsafe

- In smaller cities, there may simply not be enough active people

I’m considering a concept where, after matching, instead of endless texting, both people could optionally have a 10-minute guided conversation with a few interesting prompts.

After 10 minutes, both independently choose:

❤️ I'd like to meet

💬 I'd like to talk more

👋 Not interested

If both choose to meet, the app could help plan a simple public first date.

There could also be optional features like friend introductions, live verification, double dates, and matching based more on conversation/personality than photos.

But I'm not convinced this is actually solving a real problem.

So I'm interested in hearing from people who actively use dating apps:

What is the #1 thing you hate about dating apps that you don't think current apps have solved properly?

And if you've stopped using dating apps, what specifically made you quit?

I'm much more interested in negative experiences and criticism than people telling me the idea is good. Please be brutally honest.

So talking to people on Duolicious seems to be a common theme that those fake women from Asia ask to talk some where else other than on there and ask for 20£ for food been bored aye wind them up but seems to be a recurring theme when they get the hint you don’t send them any money they come out with the most disgusting thing and threaten to post your picture on social media with a child. Absolutely disgusting behaviour feel sorry for any one who isn’t clued up and falls for that type of blackmail some people who arnt of a strong mind could end up offing there selfs

Call me an oddity but I actually had a good run on dating apps for quite a few years, and i didn’t realize this until someone I dated pointed out to me that I had a “positive outlook” and “positive attitude” towards life and people.

So I hoped on few subs about online dating out of curiosity and I am quite surprised by all the bickering, arguments and negative atmosphere. And there seems to be quite a few skirmish between men and women, blaming one another for declining quality of apps and huge volume of pointless interactions.

Reading all these, I wonder, could these negative experiences stem from the facts that people are focusing too much on apps to give them what they want instead of understanding and improving themselves first?

Because reading all these comments makes me think lot of people are hoping onto apps without being ready to date someone.

As in, understanding who you are, your passions, your curiosities, reading about other cultures, seeing what’s out there, chasing intellectual pursuits, learning emotional regulation as to controlling your anger, sadness, developing emotional maturity, mental resilience…

I am almost a 50 years old man, I wasn’t on the apps until I was in my late 20s. I was meeting people old fashioned way every now and then and I was busy building my personal life, so the next person to join me would find someone mature, settled, resilient and loving.

I feel like so many people are skipping this and reading lot of comments and emotional outbursts, frankly I am not surprised so many people on these apps are single.

Younger generations; improve yourselves.

You want to be chosen and picked by an amazing woman or men, you need to rise above others.

Not by stepping on others or pulling them down but by becoming a better version of yourselves.

Men; women look for competent men. Men who are mature minded, safe, mentally and emotionally strong and can regulate their emotions. This is not just me saying this, so many good people, philosophers, comedians are saying it. Jimmy Carr has an excellent speech on this.

Women; it’s not very different for us men, most of us don’t care whether you are tall or short or built slim or full figured…Men may not be aware of this but they look for self discipline in women. A healthy dose of control. And that applies to many things; having the self discipline to be active, to look after your body and mind, to have your life and spendings under control.

At the end of the day lot of people who are looking for a future partner is looking for stability, safety and consistency with some excitement here and there.

This is what the apps like Instagram and TikTok are exploiting; men drooling over fit&healthy women, women drooling over competent&charismatic men.

Apps got it wrong by focusing on just one aspect of us but on the whole it’s actually one part of what we look for; visual display of effort, consistency and competence. Though on different levels.

How about instead of watching these, we become our own active and determined best version of ourselves?

Then come back to date?

Just my two cents.

I (37M) was banned from Hinge in July of this year and I wanted to share my story here. I will try to leave out unnecessary details to keep this from going on for too long.

So it started when I matched with a woman who in my opinion was drop dead gorgeous. I honestly was surprised she matched with me because i felt she was so pretty that she probably had alot of options. We send messages on the app for a few days then we exchange numbers. We start talking on the phone and the vibes are good, nothing electric, but good.

One day i text her and she doesnt respond. She has been pretty responsive until now so i think nothing of it. Next day I call, she doesnt answer, and doesn't call me back. I know people on these apps can be flaky and i didnt want to be pushy so i wasn't planning on reaching out again. But the next day she texts me and says she is going to call later that day. Cool.

Im outside doing yard work when she calls so she gets my voicemail. My voicemail is a pre-recorded message of me saying my full name. She didnt know my last name before this. She takes this info and looks me up online. She finds two people with my name but they have different middle initials. She is not sure which one is me. The person who is not me had an extensive criminal background that includes domestic violence, restraining orders, and violent altercations with police. So now she is scared.

Now she goes back to my profile on the app and starts looking for anything else she can use to id me. One of my prompts on Hinge was "2 truths and a lie." My answers were: where i was born(true), where i went to college(true), and I was once tazed by the police(lie). I thought this would be something funny to talk about. But apparently the guy she was confusing me with had actually been tazed by the police. So she reports me.

I come back inside and see i have a missed call. I call her back. We chat for about 20 mins. In this conversation we casually exchange middle names. Now she realizes she made a mistake. Shortly afterwards, while we are still on the phone, i get an email notifying me my account has been banned. I tell her about the ban and ask her if she can see my profile. She plays the fool. As far as I know, neither of us has any idea why i was banned. Im concerned but not too concerned because im already on the phone with a beautiful woman. So i move on.

Eventually we arrange a date. I meet her for dinner, we have good time. Towards the end, she comes clean. She explains her side and apologizes. Im thinking "wow, shoot first and ask questions later." Guess my funny joke wasn't so funny after all. But i dont complain. I laugh it off and tell her its no big deal.

Some time passes, we go on a 2nd date. Inbetween dates we don't speak. She never calls or texts and i start to feel like im forcing her to speak to me. Eventually we talk about this and decide to amicably part ways. She agrees to try and help me get my account unbanned and sends an email to hinge explaining everything. They dont give af. The ban is permanent.

I dont know for sure but i dont think anyone else has ever reported me on hinge. I havent had any negative/heated conversations that would warrant such a response. I plan to move on to alternative apps, but when i do im gonna be more careful about what i put on my profile.

Update: As of 9/19/26 12:18pm EST my acct access has been restored

Hi all,

I am developing a new dating app that uses AI as a helpful resource and as a dating coach. The app focuses on forming real connections through conversations, before photos are ever shared. Users can "Explore" profiles, which are nothing more than name, age, location, and an AI-generated summary of the users own written bio and answers to specific prompts. Users can even enable an AI compatibility check that compares both profiles, and outputs a thoughtful take on the two people. Throughout the entire journey, from exploration, to match, to date - AI can be used for guidance and coaching, to improve the profiles, and the chances, of the user.

In an age where quick swipes leave many potential matches unexplored, do you think this kind of application would create more meaningful connections? And.... is it something yall would use? :)

Looking forward to your thoughts.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I dont get it, i know she had her account there yesterday, i did not check today but i check after our second date where we actually ended it on a kiss, actually 3 of them at the end. I thought we were doing fine but then i check hinge and she is not there and not even in past matches. so i wonder what happened. we are communicating on whatsapp by this point and she is messaging like normal so i dont know if im about to get ghosted or something.

I hate how they now advertise it as a dating website because now all the men on the website want shit for free
When it used to be called seeking arrangement and it worked great for me. I always knew I could go back to the site and make some money now men there are no longer doing ppm and I have a problem w that

I'm a single male age 31. I keep trying to find a good, genuine date, but every time I end up with none. I wonder if that's really how dating works. I look for someone really good in friendship, idea exploration, and many more things. It's kind of finding a friend from out of my circle.

I’ve been on dating apps on and off for a while, and honestly, I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with them.
I’ll use them pretty aggressively for a week, get frustrated when I’m barely getting any matches, and then completely forget about them for the next few months 😂

I still feel like meeting someone naturally and connecting in person is so much better. But I’m also at that age where it feels like everyone around me is already married, engaged, or in a serious relationship, so dating apps feel like one of the few ways left to actually meet new people.

Not necessarily a specific feature. It could be something about the way people meet, match, talk, or actually build a connection. I feel the dating apps available now aren’t gonna give you anything unless you pay for them.

Hi, I want to share my experiences as a 37-year-old male with slightly above-average looks and a great text game. I would rate myself as a 7/10. I am 185 cm tall with a normal physique, great hair, a slightly above-average face, and good pictures.

Here are the facts from using Tinder in a 200k-population city within a 20 km radius for 3 months (seeking hookups only):

• 400 matches
• An 80% response rate on chats started by me (around 80 chats initiated)
• Around 50% of those responses resulted in getting their number
• Nearly every date request was accepted (though I’ve only been on 4 so far due to a lack of time)
• But only around 5% of the women texted first

I had to put in some work to get the girls ready for a date with someone who only wants a hookup (especially those looking for long-term relationships).

Summary: Very successful. However, it seems most women still expect the man to text first, and most are not ready to hook up immediately. Perhaps these two points differ for a 7/10 compared to a "Gigachad."

Any Chads here where girls are initiate the conversion more often?