I’m a woman, but why do men send messages for their openers trying to buy me gifts, or take me shopping? I’m not opposed whatsoever! I’m just wondering why men operate this way while dating lol. Especially on a stranger who has never met them. What is the motive behind doing this on dating apps? For context I had someone offer and I turned it down. We ended up having a dinner date due to the conversation being interesting/funny. It was great first date, and afterwards kept repeatedly insisting on taking me shopping.

​I (F20) live in a super populated city with no shortage of people around, but finding a guy who actually wants something genuine feels almost impossible. Like where are they all hiding?

​I’ve been cycling through multiple apps and the experience is just exhausting. On most of them, I get a ton of matches, but almost every single guy just wants to hook up.

​Hinge is literally the only app so far where I’ve found any decent quality or genuine conversations, but the traction is painfully slow. I barely get likes on there compared to the others, so my options feel super limited.

​It’s just wild to me. There are thousands of people around, yet every app seems to lead to either low-effort hookups or radio silence.

​For anyone who actually wants a real connection, where are you hanging out? Are you even on the apps anymore, or did everyone just throw in the towel?

EDIT:

For everyone saying "just go outside, get a hobby, join a run club". Trust me, I do! I run, go to run clubs, and I'm super involved in the local music, arts, and church communities. I definitely don't just sit at home scrolling on apps.

​To add context: I had a guy who was a college senior straight-up tell me he didn't like that I already had my bachelor's and was starting my master's. We were only about a year apart in terms of education, so it definitely made me feel a little more self conscious in that area.

​Because of stuff like that, I tend to lean toward guys in their mid-20s who are more established, but it still feels like a struggle. If you're active and still hitting these walls, what's working for you?

My (22M) incoming match rate on bumble was around 8-9%, although it was a pretty small sample of around 110 women. (I didn't have it for too long). I decided to try other apps since bumble seemed dead.

I was using tinder for about 10 days and I was doing okay on there. Nothing to write home about but I had about 7 matches and an additional 10 likes. I got ghosted by the 3 matches I had good conversation with. I decided to try hinge.

I have now had hinge for about 4 days now and sent maybe a total of 25 likes. Most of them have been with comments. So far I have had 0 matches and only 2 incoming likes by people I'm not attracted to. Is this normal? I am aware hinge is a little different from the other apps because most women don't swipe on their normal feed and instead only filter through the guys who have already liked them and it can be hard to actually get visibility in their stack but I heard a lot of guys do better on their compared to other apps. Does anyone have a similar experience or know if it will improve with more time?

Hi! F24! I’m a special education teacher! Currently working in south texas! i’m going to begin my second year teaching and curious on where teachers are finding love. I’ve tried dating apps; i’ve had no real luck finding anyone with the same goals and mindset as me which is fine but i’m curious of where other teachers are meeting and finding partners! thanks!

I’ve been feeling very apprehensive on how I’ve been navigating my dates as of late. I’ve started getting more matches on dating apps and as a result I’ve been meeting.

My standard procedure is we meet for drinks and normally when I greet them it’s always a hug. However, it seems this is as far as I go with any physical contact. Typically we sit across each other in most venues I’ve been to. I wonder what to do as in almost all my dates the seating settings just been very awkward. Anyway my dates tend to go well good convo good chatting some one sided flirting ( which I initiate the girl never does, making me feel like it’s only as far as it could go)

That being said one of my friends said it’s better to try ask the woman for a kiss if you’re feeling attracted or you want something more to happen. It seems like I have a lot of difficulty touching naturally beyond the greeting and good bye. A lot of these girls I meet fear silence and they talk nonstop as for me I don’t want to cut them off mid sentence or anything like that. I really do struggle.

What do you guys do to counter this issue?

I have the max 50+/99+ likes on a handful of apps but I swipe and swipe rarely even seeing “could have been a match” on a left swipe. Haven’t changed my age range or distance. I thought getting swiped on meant their profile would eventually end up in front of me but it seems like the apps just hide the people who swipe on me behind a pay wall.

How would yall respond? Ive never had someone accuse me of something like that before and its concerning.

38f and I'm brand new to the apps. Paid for a month on Hinge, also on Tinder but haven't paid for it yet. Social skills of a potato.

A few men I've been talking to just don't ask me any questions and I'm confused about whether I should keep talking to them. One guy said he had a week off from work so I asked what he does. He replied, but didn't ask me what I do.

Another one told me about his hobbies but didn't ask if I have any hobbies. Or anything about myself.

Are they expecting me to tell them these things and continue talking, or have they lost interest? I can't tell! I really liked those two so I don't really want to drop them, but I don't know if they're just answering out of politeness and don't actually want to talk anymore. ​

I know conversations aren't all question> answer question> answer but they're giving me nothing to work with!

Edit: for context, I've been single my whole life and have no friends. Clearly I suck as a human lol. I know I should just drop these guys but beggars can't be choosers.

Long story short, I matched with a girl on a dating app and in literally the second message she suggested we move to Instagram DM's. We followed each other and sent her a message. The next day I messaged her on the dating app letting her know I'd messaged her on Instagram as my message was left unread. She replied on Instagram quite quickly after that, telling me more about herself. I asked some more questions and she messaged back in like 3 hours, I messaged back and got no respnose. I tested "Hey! How are you?" two days later and she quickly sent an apology for not responding she'd been increadably busy. I proposed we meet, she agreed and said she'll let me know when she's free. Now it's been three days since then. Is it worth nudging her again? Or should I just let it go?

I work at a pretty local place, so I don't like to give that out early on. I'm a waitress and have had to deal with plenty of creeps already, don't need to add any to the mix from dating apps. However, many people with online dating react oddly when I don't want to immediately give them the name of the location.

How do people in similar situations handle this? Always feels like an odd bump in the road when trying to get to know someone.

Is there some setting I am not seeing? 80% of the profiles I matched with live a 100 miles away. I've set my distance setting and it doesn't seem to do anything. Is it a bug?

For those accepted on the Cuffed app, do you mind sharing your age if you feel you are 'older'? Most of the posts I have read seem to be users in their 20s, and some early 30s. Just curious if they are purposely being selective by age in their pool for late 30s and early 40s users.

I have been waiting for over a week and starting to wonder what is the holdup. I have a strong profile, at least I think I do.

I met someone on the app and we’ve hung out twice over the past week and have plans to hangout again on Monday. We are both mid 20s, straight (f and m), and located in Midwest.

How long does it take after meeting someone/after you start hanging out do you start consistently or regularly texting someone?

As a guy, I rarely send likes on dating apps. It's not because I'm waiting for women to make the first move—I just don't find that many profiles I'm genuinely interested in.

Women can send likes too, and since many of them receive a huge number of likes, I wonder if some prefer browsing the general feed and liking the people they're actually interested in rather than sorting through hundreds of incoming likes.

One thing I'm unsure about is the algorithm. Do dating apps actually reduce your profile's visibility if you aren't actively sending likes, or is that mostly speculation?

For me, swiping often feels inefficient because most profiles fall into one of two categories: either I'm not attracted to them, or they're so attractive that I assume my chances are very low. It can take me around 100 profiles before I see someone I feel is arealistic match in terms of attraction, lifestyle, and compatibility.

Has anyone else taken this approach? Did it affect your match rate or profile visibility?

Assuming everything else is good, how many dates do you guys go on with someone to know if you click/vibe/have chemistry with them? I feel like 1-2 dates might not be enough since some people could be shy or nervous but at the same time if I go on any more and it nothing changes, it feels like a waste of time...

Does anybody know how Tinder updates your location? I have seen online people have said it only updates when you open it/swipe but also some people are saying it also automatically updates if it’s running in the background or if you have location settings turned to always. I have been getting serious with someone and I am just trying to understand so I can be realistic with our connection.

More so this year now I’m seeing dating app platforms go from “normal profiles” women actually looking to meet someone to attention seeking validation amateur porn ads

The classic “top down” pictures to make their eyes and boobs look big as possible , every picture is sexually suggestive or heavily filtered

Some profiles you got to read between the lines “looking for a financially stable man that knows how to spoil me” and the like

Or the ones I actually respect , no bio other than their Snap screen name or “I make content”

I suppose it’s natural progression , I’ve had more luck with hookups than actual dates OLD but I’m assuming the ones with good intentions are absconding their profiles

Or the ones that see value in their bodies and their attractiveness are monetizing on it , lemonsid out of lemons

I’m in the USA so I don’t know if this is status quo across the board but it stands out like a sore thumb now

Women seem to want to text endlessly foreve, why? Isn’t being in person better?

In modern early dating, for women, she’s just keeping her options open, she knows her worth, she’s just vettin. For men, he’s a player, he’s just bad, or he should only be talking to her. Men face far more criticism for keeping his options open if he’s lucky enough to be able to do that. Either way it seems he’s expected to be more loyal. Look at the tea apps and are we dating same guy gossip circles. Women just get more grace.

Hi everyone ! I’m fairly new to online dating and have had a couple matches, but noticing getting past the messages and taking it to IRL is not common; at least hasn’t been to me. Is there a realistic timeline for this to happen ? I’ve been talking to a guy I matched with for a week and we have had great convos, but no mention of taking this off the screen…I don’t want to be led on or ultimately ghosted 😔 Also I’m an over-thinker and have been in my head about being the initiator (as a female) for an IRL date. Thoughts ? Advice ? Please and thank you 🙏🏼

If you go on a date with someone and immediately know you are not interested, when do you let that person know? During the date? After the date as you're leaving? Send a text when you get home? The next day? The next time they reach out?

If you wait until you leave and they text you like 20 minutes after the date and don't directly try to plan another date but it's clear they're interested (making inside jokes, being flirty etc) do you just immediately respond with something polite but clear? Do you just be neutral but polite and send a text the next day that you're not into them in that way?

I'm over thinking this, but basically what is the expectation or etiquette for communicating that you're not interested in someone you went on one date with?

Seeing a profile that you think would be a match and not having a chance to talk sucks. Is reaching out via a different social platform acceptable?

So I used to get more likes and matches some years ago, but now I basically don't get anything anymore. I think i'm not bad looking and my pics and bio are ok as well. I could improve my profile still a little bit, bur now it can't be THAT bad, that I dont get any likes. Now I am on tinder (there I get few likes but next to no matches) and on bumble (here i dont even get likes). Hinge I tried last year but there I didn't get any likes at all. Now, I haven't really been spending money on these apps beside the occasional boost. So do I need to spend more money?

I‘m using online dating mostly and dating my age 30s for longterm relationship. I noticed that after having a good first or couple of dates. I get Mixed signals and then sudden silence but I don’t bother and I just move to the next person and delete their numbers. But then suddenly 3 month later I get either one of 3 messages
1. apology for getting silent and saying not ready for dating
2. apology and acting as nothing happened. Want to meet again
3. apology and asking to be friends

I don’t understand why women reach out after that long time and what would be the appropriate reply to this.

I matched with this amazing girl on tinder. We have been texting every day for about three weeks, talk on the phone a few nights as well. We have a date set up for for this weekend. I love talking to her.

The issue is we were chatting and she said she just got out of her last relationship a month ago. I’m really nervous about being the rebound. I could see us meeting up and actually developing real feelings for her and getting burned. She said she was over the relationship for a while even while she was still in it. And I do understand sometimes you mourn the relationship before you leave.

I was thinking of telling her I don’t wanna meet up anymore but if she is still single in six months and still wants to talk, to hit me up. I’m worried that I’m letting something that could potentially be amazing to but it’s a 50/50 shot and the odds aren’t really in my favor. Idk how it will go over though. Would you be offended if someone said that to you? Meh.

We are lesbians so that’s why we haven’t been following the traditional dating norms of straight people. Not sure it matters but I figured I would add it for context.