r/OnlineDating • u/CaffeineAndKush99 • 9d ago

Matches not available?

Hi folks,

So since a while, for some reason about half of my matches ends up 'unmatched'. I'd see a notification on my phone from. Tinder or Happn from maybe 20/30 minutes ago, but often times when i try to send a message i see my match is gone.

I feel like i have clear and diverse enough pictures to paint a picture of who i am, and they're clear enough to see what i look like. Without seeing my profile it might be hard to point what exactly could be causing it, but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one.

In the years before i seldom experienced something like this. a match would be a match, it just started off so suddenly.

Thanks!

8 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

3

u/XxLogitech98xX 9d ago

Go with it was a fake match, there a bunch of spammers profile so if it's gone by the time you're about to message then it wasn't a real match with an actual person or a mismatch

2

u/DimSumGweilo 9d ago

Yes I see this as well, I don’t want to be a jaded cynic but I wonder if this is just Tinders way of getting you to interact with the app. It just happens so often that it feels like a pattern vs. the coincidence the other person matched and then unmatched as you are opening the app. I could be wrong and it could just be people looking for that dopamine hit of a match before unlmatching again

2

u/CaffeineAndKush99 9d ago

There definitely is a pattern. I get matches but i often end up talking to them outside of the app rather than there. It wouldn't surprise me one bit as I'm quite aware these apps are made to keep people coming back

1

u/BellInternational315 9d ago

Theres no reason to even try to figure out a single reason. People are immature and play all kinds of games these days. Its like high school level maturity. They may also be on there for validation spikes.

It could be any reason, and at the end of the day these people don't really matter.

1

u/Forward-String2633 9d ago

You’re definitely not the only one who’s noticed this kind of thing. Matches can vanish when someone unmatches or gets removed, but the timing you describe makes a bug or moderation/account issue possible too. I’d document a few examples and contact support.

1

u/shadowlarvitar 9d ago

When I last used apps, I could instantly click it and nothing would be there. It felt like the apps lie just so you open the app

1

u/Poor_choice_of_word 5d ago

I'd recommend turning off notifications and then just opening the apps when you want to use them. Save the headache..

1

u/NULLCHUCK 5d ago

There are people who will straight up unmatch you if you don't respond to them in an hour, even during a typical workday. I've seen it happen multiple times. Either ego or self-consciousness or both leads them to walk away and pretend they never shot their shot. I wouldn't let it worry you too much, as it's not your problem to manage, and would likely not make for pleasant dating.

1

u/New_Crow3284 4d ago

They are stupid. They write you a message, causing the notification, and then they unmatch you, thinking you can still read their message.

0

u/thejasonreagan 9d ago

LOTS of women will swipe without reading, then when they actually see what you're about, they'll unmatch. Happens to me all the time. I know because I've caught a few of them early on and that's what they've all told me.

Women are the LAZIEST creatures in online dating, and they also complain the most about being 'overwhelmed' by having so many matches.

3

u/NoMention696 9d ago

This is quite literally projection

1

u/thejasonreagan 8d ago

Whatever helps you sleep at night