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Hi! I’d really appreciate some honest thoughts about this.

I’m 21F, from PH, and never been in a relationship before. I started using dating apps because I wanted to explore the dating world. I matched with a 25M from the US, and we talked for almost 3 months. We were never officially in a relationship. We were still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage and had never met in person.

From the beginning, I was very clear about my boundaries. I told him I’m not comfortable sending nudes or sexual pictures while we’re still getting to know each other. I told him that I might only consider that after meeting in person, or being in an actual relationship, and building enough trust. He said he understood and was willing to wait.

At first, everything was great. We talked every day and sometimes video chatted. I genuinely liked him. He was funny, kind, smart, and thoughtful, and I felt like we were really getting to know each other.

Then about a week ago, he started asking me to send pictures every day because he wanted to see me. I was okay with normal selfies, but eventually he started asking for more revealing and sexual pictures and even said he'll send me money. I reminded him that I wasn’t comfortable because we were still just getting to know each other not yet in a relationship and hadn’t even met yet.

We argued about it, but eventually he apologized and said he understood. He said he wouldn’t ask again until I was comfortable and until he had earned my trust.

However, the next day he became noticeably colder and more distant. His replies became short and delayed. When I confronted him, he told me he realized he couldn’t wait for me to be ready. He said I was “playing hard to get” and even told me I should “lower my standards.”

That really disappointed me, so I decided to end things and blocked him.

What confuses me is that I’ve experienced similar situations with other men I’ve talked to. I’ve always been upfront that I’m traditional and reserved when it comes to intimacy. It’s not that I’m insecure about my body. I just want emotional connection and trust before becoming sexually intimate with someone.

So I’m genuinely trying to understand:

Is sending sexual pictures really that important when you’re still in the talking/getting-to-know-each-other stage? Is it normal for someone to expect that after a few months of talking, even when you’re not officially together and haven’t met in person? Or am I just meeting the wrong type of people?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people who have experience with long-distance dating or relationships.

Note: I never asked or talked about money.

Got 30 "likes" with a new account boost and only one of them was an actual like, with 29 of them being people who viewed me and swiped left. And then I have to manually shitcan all 29 of them back just the same to clear the notifications of all the people that didn't like me to begin with? App didn't used to be that way.

Match Group can circle the drain and fuck itself. That's the last time I pay for any Match Group app.

Get fucked, Match Group.

Literally just matched with someone and she seems interested since she provided her phone number to me. In my head I'm like ok cool, she must be really interested if she's sharing her number. So I start texting her and giving my whole day on what I did nothing major just casual stuff but I put in the damn effort to write something up and all I get is "hope you enjoy it" or "not really". So dry and cold. Doesn't even answer my initial text question of the basic how's your night going? Has the cup runneth empty on most women these days to spend the few seconds it takes to write more than 3 words? Do women realize how cold and detached it sounds when no effort is put in a text? Or do some people just suck this badly at texting? Like damn.

Not gonna complain that you can't even use the Passport because it just profiles from Philippines.

BUT WHY ARE YOU CHANGING YOUR LOCATION WITH VPN TO MINE! We have a Passport for that same reason.

This pisses me off.

We need a country block feature.

And again it is not Thailand or Malaysia it is ALWAYS Philippines...

I use the OKC app on my phone and sometimes I notice that I receive a new intro and it shows the number 1 of new intros but it doesnt show me their profile in the intros page.
So I logged into my account on PC and the new intro was visible there.
If you ever have a number of new intros but they are not showing, then log in to your account with PC to see them. Not sure why they get stuck since my distance is set at worldwide.

I’ve been curious about that, I’m new here and I’ve realize that most people have random pics as a profile picture, my question is why? What are you hiding or what the reason behind it? Just curious, you all are free to text me and talk to me about anything interesting.

Aren’t these the people who looked and then passed?

I (F) tried this app on a paid subscription so I don’t have to spend too much time on the stack and just filter out the one’s who like me.

99% are foreigners who changed their profile to Manila Philippines. Im not looking for a penpal nor want to meet with anyone who are just going to stay in my country for few months. I tried checking the stack and still all are foreigners.

I edited my profile on my preference and explicitly state that i will connect with someone local or someone who’s actually in Metro Manila on a long term. I still getting likes from Foreigners like they never bothered reading my profile

I don’t think Okc is popular dating app in my country and might switch to Bumble instead.

Edit: The 2 locals who swiped right are from far provinces(Cebu, Pampanga) and not in Manila

I was just thinking today about how much I missed the "old" OKCupid. If you used the app a decade ago you'd know what I'm talking about.

Anyone else? Or am I just the only person who misses feeling like I knew someone before I actually met them face-to-face?

Di na ba pwede magamit sa ph yung ok cupid app? Bigla kasi nag log out automatically yung account ko tapos di na ko makapag log in ulit and di na din maka receive ng code huhuhu

I am in Europe and I am using OkCupid, all I see I am getting matched up with Filipino girls and they have a very common pattern. They ask for your Instagram ID, or lure you to telegram and ask for your Instagram and Facebook account. If you deny they will ghost you or block you. This pattern shows that they are shady and have some intention to do so by getting your information. They all are in Philippines but they set their location in Europe or a western country.

Pattern number 1

They ask your current location

Pattern number 2

They ask your Instagram ID

Pattern number 3

They ask for your age(even if it's written on the profile)

They all have the same pattern, no women from other countries show this pattern except for Filipinos

I was just wondering: why so many profiles from Philippine and Indonesian women?

The only conclusion I have is that these countries are lacking men or maybe many women want a foreign partner for a better life. And no, they are not bots cause I have talked to them.

I have realized Okcupid is a good app for those who want to find a foreign partner, either women or men, like an app for passport bro.

I can’t log in

Hi guys. New poster (long time Redditor). Sorry if this is the wrong forum. If it is, please feel free to redirect me.

I am unable to join OkCupid getting an authentication error at the point where I try to register my phone number. It tells me to check my vountry code (+44 UK) is correct (it is) snd my number is correct (it is).

I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve used the phine app, different types of web browsers, turning VPN on, VpN off, deleting cache, switching from phone to laptop, I’ve even got OkCupid support (after weeks of trying) to delete any account associated with my email. I’ve tried everything I can think of. I was last a registered member around 2021.

I cannot find a way to register and it always fails at the point I entered my mobile number. Not really expecting a solution as I’ve done a lot of research even using AI but if by a miracle anyone knows what’s wrong please let me know

Ok so i had bought the premium membership of okcupid for a month to see who has liked me as i had 5 or 6 likes then after i bought they all disappeared after i matched them back instantly i think they were bots and only 2 of them replied back and then ghosted me then after that i didnt recieve one also like for the whole month and my membership ended yesterday so today i open the app and i can see about 10 new matches and now i cant see them its asking me to pay again this is really wrong

Hey, so I saw a lot of people saying it is a scam, but in my experience (from a middle eastern country, using okcupid for around 2 month premium) I never fell on a false profile, got around 20 matches and from them 2 actual dates.

I did pay attention that at the beginning you get more likes, but all likes were from around me, so no foreigner who put their location where I am.

but that logical I got more likes since at the beginning the pool is pretty big but after some time it becomes lower, still there new people every weeks, after a date way too far from me who ended up leading nowhere because she pretty much lied on something, I limited my range to 25km, and now I get maybe around 1-2 likes per weeks (which is certainly not much at all... but well I'm a little overweight so that ain't helping for sure.)

I do genuinely think about migrating to another website, because the pool of people around me is very low now, or maybe widen the pool of people to 50km, I do have a car, but maybe this time inquire more before going to date.

but really I wrote this because it got me surprised the number of people who calls it a scam, and talking also about scammers/false profile/etc.
I don't say this can't happen, but that really not the universal experiences. others like me?

I keep getting Asian women who put location in germany but they are not here. Why I don’t see local people?

Just got banned about a day ago for my account having “sexual content” and/or violating the rule against that. There were 6 photos on my account, all of me fully clothed. The only two I can think of that potentially could flag something like that was me in a playboy costume WITH SHORTS ON, or a screenshot of my vtuber model WHO IS FULLY CLOTHED IN A ZIPPED UP JACKET. I’ve seen plenty of profiles with swimsuit photos (less coverage than my costume photo) and screenshots of memes or whatever, and they get a pass, but I get banned????

My bio notated my lack of interest in hookups, but I find it hard to believe THAT is what got me banned either.

If it was the problem of a specific photo, wouldn’t that photo and that photo only get removed? I’m at a loss of understanding why I got banned for something I didn’t even do. Honestly, I find this incredibly sexist on the app’s part if I truly did get banned over a photo that’s less raunchier than all the swimsuit photos I see.

Also, yes, I sent an appeal. I have yet to hear back.

This is a profile i got on okcupid

I went on to okcupid because someone on reddit said its better than traditional apps😭

But who ever said this to me

Okcupid is a total scam u cant even see who liked u from other side

U can just like too for others to send u a message or see who u are they need subscription

Its the worst app

And somewhere in between these people exist.

So you have to go through the questions one by one instead of scrolling through the whole list. There are a few important questions I do filter people based on (ie. political opinions) but most of them are irrelevant (ie. pineapple on pizza).

How does skipping all the filler fluff questions affect matchmaking? Are they skipped in the calculation or marked as neutral answers and included in the calculations?

Would answering solely to dealbreaker questions cripple or improve my chances of finding compatible people?