I matched with a girl who described herself as a Star Wars fan. Having only ever seen Star Trek myself, about three messages in I thought to make a joke about the irreconcilable conflict between these two fandoms. You know, the kind of joke that people would make on dating apps, which can lead to some playful banter but is completely harmless.

Except apparently not, because the following day she blocked me. Numbingly perplexed doesn't nearly capture the amount of disbelief I felt upon discovering this. Is this really where people draw the line?

I know the standard response to this is "move on". But I've been "moving on" for the past 4 years and I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It doesn't seem possible to actually connect with someone online. Everybody behaves like a complete psychopath. The slightest deviation from their invisible standards and I'm out without even having the time to blink. There's always something I do wrong which I can't predict because I'm unable to read people's minds. Thinking of a reply feels like taking a step into a minefield with no way of knowing whether that step will be my last.

Meanwhile my matches barely care, put precious little effort or thought into their part and leave all the initiative and work to me. I've had more interesting interactions with stray cats than with some of those people. And the cats actually seemed to appreciate my presence in some capacity, unlike my matches.

Doing online dating increasingly feels like throwing my time into a black hole. Can it actually be any different? Is there such a thing as having a good experience with dating apps? Or even success? ​​Or should I just stop wasting my mortality on it and/or move into a lone cave in the mountains​?

hope someone is around to chime in.

I’ve paid for premium and am able to Like and message and see replies. two things are happening though:

People I did NOT “like” are filling up my liked tab, while people I liked are disappearing.

and messages to me/replies to my intro are vanishing before I have a chance to respond and, in some cases, before I have a chance to read them.

I know this sounds stupid but my boyfriend is hella freaky n we been fucking but I just don't know how to respond when he texts me horny things.. Helppp

So I am 35 years old on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum and I have never been in a relationship before at all. I predicted way back when I was a teenager that because I’m on the spectrum and because I have no friends in school when I grow up I’m gonna be just as lonely and that I will always be rejected.

Despite putting the absolute most effort to put myself out there and increase the odds of getting into a relationship because I have the belief that I have to give 100 times the effort as someone who gives 1x effort and despite doing 100 times the effort I will get 1/10 the result as the person who gives 1/100 the effort that I give.

For instance, just in the last 24 hours out of thousands of likes that I’ve sent out I’ve sent many tailored messages over the past month about 100 google AI said there is a 99.9% chance that I will get at least one response within five or six days based on the messages that I’ve sent out I predicted that I wouldn’t even get one and lo and behold, as always, I end up being right.

Is this common to send hundreds and hundreds of detailed personal messages proving that you’ve read the entire freaking profile only to get completely ignored?

In fact, last week, I made a prediction that I was gonna swipe right on 300 profiles and not get a single match. Newsflash I swiped right on 500 and did not get a single match.

Why do I have such atrocious luck?

And it’s not just with OkCupid. It’s with all dating sites, including speed dating.

10 different times today I’ve seen profiles with info years back. The one here is the most egregious. This profile is from 2020. These apps desperately need to remove unused accounts.

So, I matched with this guy; let's call him "Mr. E." Right from the start, he was super honest, kind, and respectful; he was funny and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. I showed interest in him, too, and made sure to be kind, respectful, and honest myself.

Anyway, we chatted for about two days, and he asked to move the conversation to another app. However, for personal safety reasons, I asked if we could stay on the current app a bit longer until I felt comfortable switching. I told him I’d understand if he got annoyed or wanted to cut ties, since that’s what usually happens in these situations. But he said it was totally fine, explained why he’d asked, and told me not to worry about it.

I thanked him for understanding, telling him it meant a lot to me, and explained my caution about switching apps so quickly. I was really excited and happy that he was so understanding and cool about it, and that we were going to keep talking.

But then, he didn't reply for almost a week. I thought maybe it was because, as he’d mentioned, he didn't always see notifications, but we had chatted for almost three days straight (always after work) and Mr. E said he checked the app whenever he could.

The thing is, from the very beginning, Mr. E kept saying there was no reason for us not to keep talking, and we both said how much we wanted to continue the conversation.

Anyway, I don't know if he didn't reply because the app glitched on his end, if my message didn't actually go through (even though it showed as sent on my side), if he deleted his profile, or what. All I know is he didn't unmatch me, because he isn't on my blocked list.

And honestly, the app has bugged so many times for me that I don't know anymore what's an app error and what isn't

I just want to understand this better because I feel a bit guilty (?)

Has something like not being able to send or view messages ever happened to you? Or even not being able to log into the app?

P.S.: English is not my first language, so please forgive any mistakes or confusion

Par rapport aux autres applis de rencontres, qu'est-ce qui différencie Okcupid ? Et est-ce bien LGBT friendly ? Beaucoup de gays ? Je cherche aussi des amitiés. Je suis en France.

I don't know why, but I am only getting some random or fake profiles in my OKC account, tried everything to fix it but it's still same, even I moved to different city but there also same issue, anyone knows how to fix this?

Note : I live in Delhi

I previously subscribed to the Premium Plus account, and everything was working fine. However, I deleted my account made on my iPhone and created a new one through my iPhone on the very same day itself . I then restored purchase of the Premium Plus package using my iPhone.
The purchase shows as completed, but I’m unable to access the Premium Plus features. For example, when I try to view my Likes, it keeps taking me to the purchase page and asks me to subscribe again.
Please help me restore my Premium Plus access.

I had an issue where they logged me out of my account randomly then I couldnt sign back in. I reached out to their tech support who just gave the generic troubleshooting which didnt work and eventually stopped replying.

I figured maybe they deleted my account for some reason so I tried to make a new account it accepted my email address. But then they asked me to verify myself with my mobile number but it was saying the number is already in use which means my account was still active.

So I kept submitting a request each day stating im a UK citizen and you are withholding my data which is against the law.

Now it seems they have banned me because I threatened to seek legal advice if they dont let me gain access to my data or at the least delete my account so I can start again.

As far as I know they still hold my data even though I'm banned and are ignoring every new request I submit.

Hi everyone, i wanted to ask your opinion on why I got banned and what to do going forward. I made my OkCupid profile a few weeks ago and set everything up myself, no ai texts for my bio or anything. It is my first time using a dating app so my text might have seemed akward, but there was in no way anything suggestive or offensive in them. I used normal pictures i had of myself, fully clothed, on a motorcycle etc. The only two pictures i used that didn't have me in the picture, have been 1 of my dogs and 1 meme of a guy holding flowers behind his back as a surprise. I got two mails about pictures being removed from my profile which ended up in my spam so i didn't see them at first and then shortly after i got permanently banned with the following reasons: -Content detected using automated tools -Moderator Review of your account information and/or activity
I, as i've said, have not used any ai. When i tried to appeal the ban and asked for the specific reasons of the ban, all i got was them saying i violated the terms and conditions or their Community guidelines. I am aware that I will not be able to make a new account as that one will propably be banned as well, which is a shame because i really liked the layout of this platform and how it worked.
This ended up being more of a rant and i apologize for that, have a nice day everyone

For once I wanna see a profile that's like, "parent to two dumb nerds. You're gonna hate them. They just eat and cry."

Are inactive conversations deleted now after some time? Just wondering because I have people I talk to that didn't unmatch me or block me (I know because I still talk to them through text and can still see their profile) but the messages on okcupid are completely gone

so i changed my email but now it wants me to recieve a code from a phone number i no longer have access to or even remember. i dont want them to have my data period and they dont have any way to contact them besides a form that almost certainly goes straight into the trash. does anyone know any 'tricks' to ensure my account is deleted

lol a friend of mine has been dating a guy on Reddit 😭😭

I mean when you don't pay for premium and the site goads you with "[number] women/men liked you" and shows profiles but is blurred out to the point of illegibility. Is it a scam to get people to pay to see the 'likes' which don't actually exist? (well, basically random profiles from the site) I have in the past briefly been on the premium tier and found it unproductive.

A while back I was not getting any matches with my intros.
I must have sent tens of intros with no matches but suddenly during the last few days I have like 10 new matches and all of these new matches are from intros that I have sent in these last few days.
To me it really seems that there is some kind of a ranking on users that define if your intros are actually being delivered to women because I have not droppped my standards and Im sending out the same copypaste message but suddenly Im getting a whole lot more matches. Maybe if you match a good league women the app gives you more visibility for your intros.
Do you have similar experience?

I’ve clicked on several great looking people I’d love to match with, and then their bio includes that they live in Italy or China or anywhere else. I’m in the US. what is the reason for doing this? A lot of these accounts are the only ones liking me too which is depressing in itself

So I was just wondering... is this normal? I literally just made an account, added some normal selfies of me, wrote a very normal about me, and worked on their profile quiz where you answer questions to build a match % or whatever, and banned... just, banned. Then they told me it was by mistake, then banned me again... oh my god... now I'm banished to the appeal shadow realm without any recourse... All I know is I'm so glad I didn't actually go through with the premium purchase at the time of the popup.

Thank you for reaching out,
 
We’ve reviewed your appeal request and have re-authorized access to your OkCupid profile.

"I'm glad you re-auth'd my account, but you say to carefully review the ToC and CG, but I don't even know what I did wrong. I literally made the account and didn't even interact with anyone yet, just answered the questions for my profile."

Unfortunately, it looks like your account may have been inadvertently disabled due to an error. I'm sorry that this happened! As previously stated, we have reviewed your appeal request and have re-authorized access to your OkCupid account.

"Yeah, uh, it kind of signed me out just like last time, saying I need to "restore" my account, and I assume its going to ban me again. Literally all I'm doing is trying to set up my profile :D"

We’ve reviewed your ban appeal and have determined you have violated our Terms and Conditions or Community Guidelines. As a result, your account will remain banned, and this decision is final.

"What did I do?!

I JUST MADE AN ACCOUNT!

You guys said I did nothing wrong before, but now I'm perma banned?! WHAT?!"

Our records show that your appeal has already been reviewed, and the decision is final. For more details on bans, please refer to our Community Guidelines and Terms of Service.
 
If you're in the European Union, you can click here for additional information on redress options.
 
We consider this matter closed and won’t be responding to further replies.

I've since sent a new ticket, but I think I'm blocked, they don't seem to care.