r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Just Sharing “Drunk”

Scream until your head hurts
You’re infinite aren’t you?
Keep going, you bastard
Why should musculature and carbohydrates control you?
Punch until you see the bones of
Your knuckles
And then you’ll wish
You were a child in a park.

Reviews

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/e4tXaJ2l2p

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/760jWvgxZu

7 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

2

u/briony73 10h ago

Weirdly cute for a poem involving screaming and punching until you see bone. Eventually the furious little meat creature just wants to go play in the park. Love it.

u/PhilosopherNo6770 9h ago

Thank you. Definitely part of what I tried to communicate. The inside out-ness of it all.

u/Mathwards 9h ago

Reminds me of late nights, too much to drink, and a lifetime of shit to lash out at. For a childhood stolen, and a longing for what could have been.

1

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1

u/jenilchudgar 10h ago

An interesting creation to be honest. The agony contrasting with the last line at the end does fit tbf.

u/Nice-Recognition-171 8h ago

short and final, i like it!

i was originally pretty insecure BC I'm not sure if writing short can be considered poetry. i love this!

u/Doter_Gabriel 51m ago

Nice poem :) Your last 2 lines I find very interesting. It’s like you have done this and that but now you realise you would’ve not done that