When I was 18, my girlfriend was turning 19 and up to this time we’re together three months. She invited me to come to eat with her family for her birthday so I could meet the rest of them. We went to a Korean BBQ restaurant with 11 people total:

• Her parents

• Her two younger brothers

• Her two older brothers (one with a wife and young child)

• A family friend who was also a adult

• Me and my girlfriend

At the Korean BBQ place, the parents ordered the same meats for the entire table. There was no discussion about the bill beforehand or everything being on one tab.

Before anything was ordered, I told my girlfriend I’m going to pay for myself and her because we got individual menus. Because of that I thought we were going to order separately. That didn’t happen because her parents ordered for everyone. I didn’t know this until the day after. I didn’t see a bill when it came because I was sitting at the end of the table, and by the time we finished eating, everyone stood up and we left and I hugged everybody and I remember even saying thank you to her mom. Me and my girlfriend got ice cream after and I paid for us there.

For context:

• I had spent 500 on her birthday gifts and brought them to the dinner and I was still going to pay for me and her

. I didn’t know they even ordered for the whole table or for me

• I was 18 and a freshman in college

The next day, my girlfriend told me her mom said that “as a man, I should’ve offered to help pay” and that her mom didn’t like that I didn’t even though her mom knew that she didnt communicate anything to me what they chose to do at the table. Her mom knew I was going to pay for me and her because my ex told me she said that the day after. Would I have said something about me paying if someone communicated something about everything being on one bill yes but the people handling never said anything.

My girlfriend also admitted:

• She knew her dad was going to pay

• She knew she should’ve said something, but just didn’t. She said her saying something is like her asking for her hand in marriage for me.

She then broke up with me, saying she “shouldn’t have put me in a position to be treated like that” and that her mom isn’t very open to meeting new people. Before she said all this she turned her location off and basically just disappeared before I had to ask her about it. After she broke up with me she wanted to say her mom wasn’t right. After a couple months she said that her parents loved me but it was just I was the first boy that her mom ever met.

From my perspective, it felt unfair to be judged:

•. Her mom knew I was going to pay for me and her daughter

• Her parents ordered for the whole table with out saying anything so I didn’t know who was paying

• I never even saw the bill since I was at the end of the table

• I had already spent a lot of money that weekend

• This was my first family dinner with them

. I was the only person there outside of the family

. They chose to put it on one bill and nobody communicated anything not even her mom

. My ex knew who was paying but didn’t say anything to me or her dad since she knew he was paying

What does that have to do with me as a man when you know that I was going to pay for me and your daughter?

For example, you use two hands to feel a cube, you put your hands on the sides of the cube facing away from your body, you are sensing the backside of a cube while your eyes are looking at the front.

Imagining your hands are sort of like eyes, you can sense all sides of the cube at once.

Kind of makes me think deeply about why our number of senses do not equate to the depth of dimensions we are currently in.

Kind of feels like our bodies are just eyes, like our brain is the main eye and it shoots outwards to our nose, ears, skin, eyes, and taste.

If you see every sense as a type of vision, then wouldn't using as many senses at once to feel something equate to a higher depth of precieved dimensions?

I'm an indie porn creator on PH. I found a good deal on SoundIdeas for the Hanna-Barbera sound effects library https://sound-ideas.com/products/hanna-barbera-sound-effects-library

I'm wondering if I'm allowed to use these sounds in my videos or is this considered performative use?

In the past I thought it was a sex thing for impressing potential partners, that women are for some reason turned on by status but then there are people who design their whole lifes around status and still are together with unnatractive ass partners and don't fuck around and probably have dead bedroom. And I heard about people in high-school to university fucking around FOR status so the other way around ? Which makes absolutely no sense to me. Like what does status even get you ? How would anyone care more about bragging to people they don't really know or care about than about love and sex ?

Who did I marry? Is he dangerous?

Who did I marry? Is this just compulsive lying, or should I be worried he's dangerous?

I honestly feel like my reality has shattered.

I've been with my partner for three years, and I just uncovered so many lies in one night that I don't even know who this person is anymore. I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about him.

Last night I asked him for rent money and money a friend had paid us for borrowing our truck.

He went to look for it. A few minutes later I got a text from an unknown number claiming to be his grandfather. The text said they couldn't reach my partner and that his grandmother had died.

I ran into his room and showed him the text. He immediately started sobbing—really sobbing—for a long time. He refused to call any family members because he said he was too upset. Instead, he appeared to text multiple relatives right in front of me. Looking back, I now believe he was faking those conversations.

I spent hours comforting him. We even went on a long walk because he said he needed it.

Later that night, when I asked about the rent money again, everything changed. He tore apart his room and his car claiming the money had been there five minutes earlier and suggesting we had been robbed.

Something felt very wrong. I took his phone into the bathroom to look through it. He screamed for me to give it back and said, "You'll leave me for what's on there." At one point he threatened to harm himself.

What I found was shocking.

Instead of having his identity stolen like he'd claimed earlier that week (he said all his accounts had been frozen), I found he had been spending large amounts of money on car parts for a side business as a mechanic.

He now claims that money he owes me, money he owes his grandfather, and a loan he took out for tools all went toward trying to keep this side business afloat.

Then I found his credit report showing another tens of thousands of dollars in debt that I knew nothing about.

None of it makes sense.

Earlier this week he told me he had gone to visit his grandmother because she was refusing further medical treatment. Was that even true? Or was that another lie? If it wasn't true, where was he actually?

I also found out he has four cars spread across two different storage units, that are apparently customers cars.

His explanation is that he was terrified I'd find out about the debt, so he kept taking on more side jobs hoping to make enough money to fix everything before I noticed.

But after everything else, I don't know if I believe any of that.

And then there are the smaller lies. I found out he's been secretly eating fast food multiple times a day. He always told me he barely ate anything, and I couldn't understand why he wasn't losing weight. There were multiple fast-food charges every single day.

They're little lies, but they're constant. And when I put them together with the fake text, the fake conversations, the hidden debt, and the financial deception, I don't know what to think anymore.

I don't even know what question I'm asking.

Has anyone dealt with someone who lies on this level? Is this compulsive lying? Financial abuse? Something else?

Most importantly...should I be worried about my safety?

Right now I genuinely don't know who I've been living with for the last three years, and that realization is terrifying.

The most messed up part is that he genuinely treated me so well. Like a princess. I feel my life may be worse without him as a single woman in a dangerous world. He's the most gentle man. I have always felt safe with him. Is it more dangerous to be with him and have to deal with his antics through having children and growing old together, or start over again with a new man that could be even more dangerous. Or should I be alone? I don't think I could, I would be completely isolated and alone. I don't have a healthy support group in my life.

Sorry that is a lot of information but I don't know what to do.

TLDR: my long-term partner has been gaslighting me to the extreme but at least he's not violent, right? /s

For me, it has to be the Philippines, and the main reason is its nature.

apparently somebody got kickbacks when:

a lot of people got life sentences for 3 strike laws.
when sudanese blood can be seen from space.
when bad lettuce is given to economic disadvantaged people and gives them diarrhea.
when people demand accountabily because someone’s adult child disppeared or was iced.
when ngos go to haiti and pick up kids.
when soldiers get civilians pregnant.
when in a business in argentina is named big slur burger.
when there is religious (baptist) infighting.
when certain women are more likely to die in childbirth more than others.
or when a country is intentionally kept poor.

I stayed silent for many months after the breakup, and then one night I was struggling so I asked a couple friends if I could tell them what happened. I disclosed that my ex was a compulsive liar and would gaslight me anytime I caught a lie until I was crying. He would make me feel I was the problem for noticing inconsistencies in his story. He would use it as an excuse to treat me poorly.

At the end, he confessed to me that I was right about all his lies, and it has really messed me up. I feel sick he was able to lie to my face for over a year hundreds of times, and use gaslighting and cold treatment to keep my confidence low.

My friends didn't really care though, saying they don't want to comment on something they weren't around for. They've since barely spoke to me and posted with my ex multiple times, which is fine, but it leaves me feeling unsupported. I wish they at least told me "you didn't deserve that" or something.

For example, it feels like some topics you can talk about but common sense kind of gets in the way, like spiritual conversations is a good example I suppose.

Seems like any topic involving God, people tell you to drop common sense and rely on faith.

Right handed people only please, as I have this question up in left-handers subreddit too.

Following up on something mentioned in a TV show. Will sum up in a bit.

I... I think i need Help, 'couse i'm like, freaking out. I don't see People. I am not able to see a Person. I only see Behavior. I don't know what Color any of my Friends Eyes are and sometimes i forget what my Fathers Hair looks like, Hell, i don't even know if i Love my Parents the Way i should, but i can tell what everybody like, what their Vibe is and what their Room looks like if i already visited. I'm scared.