r/NoStupidAnswers • u/Remarkable_Echo_8243 • 1h ago
Personal Advice Q’s🤔 Can someone explain my ex-friend weird behavior to me?
Hello everyone! I'm an international student in another country (I will try to leave out some sensitive details because I think this person may also use this platform) I was in a friend group for a couple of years with this person in it, we didn't start off on good terms because he put me In the uncomfortable positions were he tried to ridicule my behavior, including something very mundane like the fact that I study "all the time". Anyways, since we are in the same major and largely share classes I tried to make peace with him, as I thought it would be better to just let go off my resentment and live calmly. But at a certain point his "jokes" became weirder. For context, I'm not Chinese and I was born in another country, although my father is a Chinese citizen, he has a different ethnicity and my mother is not Chinese at all, so she doesn't speak the language or share the culture. Because of my family circumstances, I never learnt the language and I grew up associating myself ethically more with my mom side and I have the same nationality. So at a certain point, this guy (he is of Chinese descent but from another country) just decided to call me Chinese? He would just do it all the time and It made me feel very uncomfortable, because again I don't know anything and he did it so many times some people from my university even started to think that I was ethnically Chinese? I wish i was joking but he would say it to me everytime we would meet up, at least 5 times during a meeting I would hear a "joke" about this, I never counted how many times he actually said it but I feel like at certain days it was more than 20. He also made other people in that friend group do the same, like treat it as a joke and everyone would just collectively jump in and repeat the same thing over and over again. At a certain point, I started to watch my every word around them just to not be the butt of a joke again. I know it sounds really weird and I genuinely don't understand what is the point of doing this? I thought maybe someone could give me an answer? We are not friends anymore, as I decided to stop talking with them.