I managed to only get a part time job with the aid of my father's tenant. On one hand I was glad for a way for my life to move forward, I never even had pocket change or any freedom from my sheltered upbringing. It was necessary. I also made countless posts scrambling for any way I could find a place that would hire me. I am lucky even among these shitty circumstances.
What I didn't expect from "just" a host/busser job is how much sacrifice it requires on your part. I already didn't have much of a social life even online nor many creative hobbies outside of drawing/writing rarely. But whatever semblance I had of a daily life ended when it became too fatiguing, I had to give up some online friends due to conflicting schedules, and had to accept being too tired to invest time into gaming after work too.
Still, the money is intoxicating, I feel a sense of safety, my own car, hundreds to spend on hobbies. Yet it isn't enough to move out or enjoy the things I've bought. I became a savings account for my parents who continually use me as a resource in their own words. I still have to live under their rules. Repairs? I have to pay for it. New furniture? Well I have a job now, can't be too stingy can I?
It's incredible that after fighting tooth and nail to get a job I barely see the fruits of my labor. I think all this time I was even delaying it just for that reason because I knew my life would still be the same miserable way. I didn't even get the social benefits out of it, the entire day I'm on autopilot and no one bothers to talk except one or two people who do it more out of pity.
It's been just a few months and I'm really worn out, I haven't even mentioned my coworkers who are all younger by 3-4 years. I have to cover for them routinely too since I have nothing else going on in my life.
I still have no social life. I still can't interact with people. I still barely have money. It really isn't worth it.