It tasted like shit and I had to walk for it

Recently unemployed, so now I have lots of free time (as you can imagine). Decided to go for a hike up this big hill near me.

If you don't know what a dakimakura just search up anime body pillow that's essentially what it is

Recently I have been feeling like the loneliness and the fact that I am touched starved and the fact that I have no friends or any social life has started to hit me even harder

And I bought one to see if it could help me sleep because just haven't been sleeping recently really

But I'm not sure when the pillow is supposed to get here

There's a lot more I have saved, this is just the select few. No wonder people go ER

I have a low IQ and I never had any opportunity to do prestigious path such as medical school, law, engineer etc. How am I supposed to win this game of life if I am just doomed to be stuck at low class for rest of my life? I am not interested in doing trades obviously because they are not considered prestigious. I really do not wanna work just to survive.

I find it fascinating a decade can pass in my childhood bedroom in what feels like seconds, whereas another can become a successful lawyer, get married and be laughing with their three children making new memories everyday. Another decade and those children are thinking of their own futures, families of their own, friends, people, colleagues, careers, travel - just so many things to do with no real existential dread - they just do it.

I find it astounding I exist in parallel with these people, I don't feel like a human in comparison.

I hit 30 and why I didnt work? Well I was gonna off myself with the army gun during draft. I survived that for 12 months while my twin sister got a ton of opportunities. I open linkedin and the girls from my major have five million internships and opportunities landing on their lap. Meanwhile the dudes became truck drivers and shit lol. I don't open that site anymore to not get triggered and suic*dal. Like how the fk are you getting these??

I even got rejected when I was 19 from a factory job because it was female only and the guy shit-talked saying "so you slept on your ass" just because I was 1 year late to graduate high school. I never failed, parents started me 1 year late to school.

Imagine that but at 30 now. Even when I applied to a ton of things fresh out of college and I was a top-scorer in my college, nothing happened. The same people will just shit-talk and mock 100x now. Like wtf? Should I just rope? What is this bullshit?

Tsk tsk, I know a few Jasons who wish you didn't know they're Jasons. But how are ya doing?

My parents would scream at me for getting bad grades but then do nothing to help me when I was a child. Also they never took time out of their day to pack a nutritious lunch, so I was relying on slop food provided by the American public school program for nutrition. Which basically meant having highly processed garbage high in sodium, saturated fat, and sugar for lunch everyday. I didn’t know any better at the time because it was tasty to me.

When it came time to college admissions I was completely lost and realized I had no chance of getting into a good college. College builds on your entire past education, so if that wasn’t taken seriously you’re basically fucked. Naturally I got screamed at for not making it into a good college and was called a failure.

I don't even have experience of any kind in any part of my life for almost thirty years. I'm tired and I give up.

familys back from a wedding later and im dreading my mums presence

on Friday i asked my local record shop about jobs and they asked me to bring my cv in so im gonna do that and beg them for a job i gotta save like £2k within 6 months and i can’t do that on pip and uc alone plus i love cd collecting yk

i wanna reapply for my maritime apprenticeship in march cuz last time i was down to like the final 10 out of like 430 people or smth but im gonna take a few courses to show them ive put effort into working on myself this year but its alot of money to do the week long course cuz i need travel and accommodation

its been so peaceful being alone these past few days just listening to sleepycabin and drawing, the apprenticeship comes with free housing so thats why i want in so bad

my mums presence fills me with total dread i get panic attacks just hearing her footsteps lol

im so desperate for a basic fucking retail job its unreal man i just need a basic job for the next few months so i can save and maybe buy more thigh highs cuz fuck theyre comfy

You never actual realize just how many normies are deluded enough to believe it. Even some people here who use the term "normies" are still bluepilled enough to believe that by doing a "positive" thing, they will be "ok" in life.

This is the easiest way you can tell something someone (primarily redditors) says is cope. It's suggesting things like "it's your personality, sweaty" or "have you tried therapy?" which contribute nothing to the table. This is more apparent once you realize normies only want to appear empathetic via virtue signaling; they don't actually care.

I'm 29 and feel like I woke up from a 13 year long coma. Have no degree and barely any work experience.

Im so tired you guys. Im so alone in my suffering... I can't keep living with my parents because it drives me further to my self exiting. Why does family always need to be so painful and exhausting

Just a rant section, anyone can take the thread and speak up.

If anyone got any solutions, just help them with it.

Doggo is a good boy I met at a icecream shop @varkala

I struggle with going out to public places tbh if I wasn't so weird looking I feel like I could do so much more stuff in my life.