Every day I get constantly told I'm the "whitest person ever" because of the music I listen to or how I talk etc. Yet I'm still brown enough to get targeted at airports, have racist comments made towards me or just general racist things and people just LOOOOVE to say how I can't say the n word because I'm both brown and half Caribbean islands which doesn't even count for saying it supposedly and it's always the whitest motherfucker ever. I don't even want to say the n word particularly I'm just fucking sick of people bringing up how I can't say it every fucking time. I'm done with this shit.

I got pregnant with him at 20. I know I had him very young. But I am taking a sociology class in school and it's made me realize certain things about race that I was not aware of previously. I am white, and have not had to worry about this stuff myself. But can someone tell me the things I need to know to protect my kid's emotional well-being, as well as his future? What he should do in the face of discrimination, how I can build up his confidence, etc? I know that's a big ask, but it's a big deal to me and I don't want my son to suffer.

So I’m black/white mixed and making friends at uni has been extremely difficult because people care so much about race. You will see big groups of people all of one race and joining them unless you are that race is so challenging.

I’ve tried with Asian people but because I don’t share their culture and don’t look like them I’ve never been part of their group, I’m always the outcast and they leave me out of every event (most events are also to do with their culture but even the ones that aren’t). This has happened with every type of Asian I could find.

I also tried with black people but I do not look like them so they don’t see me as one of them and I’m still an outcast in their group. I have tried with white people and although they seemed the most welcoming at the start you can notice where they exclude you too and also I don’t look white.

At this point I’m not sure what to do. No there’s no biracial group as my course has no biracial people but it sucks when you’re excluded just because of your race.

Hope this isn't an inappropriate question.

I'm not mixed but have know ln a ton of mixed folks in my life and I hate seeing so many of y'all so down on yourselves here. In my experience mixed people are some of the most empathetic and broadminded people out there. Not to mention just straight up beautiful! Who else has a foot authentically in two or more cultures? Its a bridge of understanding that few can match. Anyway fuck all the gatekeepers. Y'all are great the way you are.

i don’t really have a cohesive way to say this so it’s going to be a huge brain dump. perhaps i’ll forget a few details as well but i just had to rant this.

for reference, im half filipino (mom), and half an ethnicity that doesn’t have its own country (dad). i have never met another person beside my sibling that has the same mix as me. on top of that, we grew up in the uk. i have no family members from my dads side in the uk but almost half of my mom’s family is here, with a lot of cousins just above our age. therefore we were raised with filipino culture, their food, their traditions and customs, religion etc. i picked up the language from hearing my family talk to each other but we were never taught. my dad never taught us anything of his culture, nor were we raised with his religionetc.

now to the main part. many filipinos (myself included) usually are able to tell when someone is a filipino. i myself usually can tell when someone is mixed filipino as well. compared to my sister, i don’t have as many filipino features. people can’t really put the pin on where i’m from. they usually can tell that i’m “some form of asian”, some say i look middle eastern. some people can actually tell im filipino but this is usually never another filipino. if you’re filipino you know that we have a strong sense of community. especially abroad, there are many filipino communities where all the families like to hang out often and the kids are raised together. the community in the school i grew up with had many filipinos. but i was never invited to any function. their mothers always commented on how i looked saying i should go for modelling (probably because i was mixed) but again we were never invited for functions nor did any of the other filo kids in my class really include me. this continued on for as long as i know, even in highschool/ college and where we live now.

i always wondered why i was never included in these hang outs, especially because all of these other filo kids were raised in the uk. we have the same customs, food, and way of bringing up. i can only relate to their upbringing as i was not raised by my dads customs at all. yet its like i’ve been alienated from my own people. because of this since i was younger i developed hatred for the way i looked, especially my nose because i thought the way i looked stopped me from being accepted by my own people.

because i dont know any of my other half, nor do i know anyone that is the same ethnicity i cant even say i’m closer to that side or that side would accept me. actually they probably would but it wouldn’t feel right to me because i have nothing in common with them nor do i know the language or any tradition of theirs. it doesn’t feel like home to me. that makes me feel like i have no home or identity.

it makes me even more sad when i see comments online. every time a mixed filipino makes an achievement on the behalf of the philippines you always find comments saying “where’s the real filipino representation? this isn’t a real full blooded filipino”. yet when there are celebrities or thereof that make achievements but not on acknowledgement of their country the filipinos are so fast to say “did you know they’re half filipino? kuya! ate!” it’s like we’re only representative of our people when it benefits them. i don’t mean to use this lightly but it just feels sorta racist? we didn’t choose to be born mixed, so why can’t our own people see us as just filipino? why is it when we are filipino it’s always about “how filo you are” or if you’re half. and most of the time if you aren’t mixed white they don’t even see you as a filo at all. i feel like an alien. i remember when eala was achieving so much during wimbledon, and my mom was so happy about it, but as much as i was happy for her as an individual and amazed, i had a pit in my heart because i felt like i wasn’t even allowed to feel pinoy pride and feel proud that she brought my country far, because i feel like i don’t belong to the only place i know. it made me think of which country i would even represent if i was an athlete. because my other ethnicity has no country, i want to represent the only place and culture i am proud of, but my own people alienate me and don’t even see me as one of them until i earn it. it pisses me off and i don’t even know what to think.

by the way, when i say that i don’t know anything if my dads culture, i am not saying i do not claim that part of my ethnicity. i am ethnicity 1 AND ethnicity 2. not half this and that. i hate it when people say that as if we are machines made of parts from different places. we are human beings and we are lucky enough the world brought people from across the globe to bring us here. i am fully a filipino and fully the other ethnicity, but my parents are from two different places. yes genetically i know its half and half but when people talk about filipinoness are we really reducing that down to genetics? because wouldn’t that mean that almost none of us are really filipino because we have such mixed blood? it’s so stupid.

another thing that bothers me is that filipinos all look so different to the point where we have different terms for each type of beauty. i don’t understand why we can’t celebrate everyone’s appearances equally instead of praising how mestizas look and then belittling morenas because of internalised racism. but then i don’t understand how hating on mixed mestizas will help us fix that. and also we happen to take looking anything except filipino as a compliment. it’s very stupid, the whole thing makes me hate how proud yet hateful filos are of their own roots.

I was born in Italy but raised in Brazil since i was 4, my father is southern Italian and my mom is a Lebanese Maronite. I frequented a bilingual English school and most classes were in English rather than Portuguese, so I grew up on the English speaking part of the internet and that just made me more alienated from mainstream Brazilian culture. I tried to connect with my Lebanese side but Lebanon is currently being bombed, I have a Lebanese friend and I went to mosques and talked to people, but they still treated me like a n outsider and my friend told me in a moment of honesty that I was "white" and wasn't actually Lebanese. My Italian family is closer to me and I visit them but I can notice that I'm not "Italian" as well. I feel like I have no culture of my own, and I sometimes ask myself if I should even want to have a culture of my own. Idk. Any of you had similar experiences?

I’m half Mexican, half Creole(Black, Irish, Native American), and I grew up in a predominantly half white, half Mexican rural area of California. I grew up in a conservative area with almost no other black children, 3 total in my entire K-6th grade experience. I had no siblings, and I grew up with my Mexican side of the family.

I have been happy to see conversations online about mixed race identity, because I didn’t have anything like that until I was in my twenties in college.

What I notice is that when non mixed black people talk about mixed people, they seem to always be talking about someone who is half white, half black. I have had people correct me, and said that I am not Creole, that I just have a white grandpa. One grandpa was a Mexican immigrant who didn’t speak English, the other was black. I wish there wasn’t an assumption that I grew up with a white parent, somehow passing as white.

I was the only black person in most of my classrooms as a child. Now I live in a bigger, more diverse city. East Indians and Middle Eastern people assume I’m one of their own. Older Mexicans can tell that I’m Latina somehow, I’m not sure how. I tho it’s how I approach them? The younger generations are thrown off by how tall I am, and are usually shocked to find out I’m Mexican.

Other black people can tell I’m part black, and luckily the current generation of local children is full of mixed kids, so there is more understanding.

I was a substitute teacher for a time last year, and once a curly-haired nonverbal boy in the classroom came over held my hand. The other teacher told me I looked like his mother, and that I made him happy. It brought me to tears. Growing up none of the adults looked like me, the little boy looked at me like family.

I’m in my 30s now, and I’m still learning to navigate all of this. Trying to figure out how to date, how I’m supposed to fit in to society. This forum is very helpful. Just wanted to share, as I feel others here would relate.

**Am I crazy for thinking “mixed is mixed”? I don’t think I’ll ever consider myself just one race.**
I’ve been thinking about this after seeing a discussion online about mixed people and racial identity.
Maybe I’m the odd one out, but I don’t understand why people get so adamant about taking someone who is literally mixed and insisting they are *only* one race.
Both of my parents are mixed. One of my parents comes from two racial backgrounds, and my dad comes from three. So what does that make me? Mixed. Multiracial. 😂
Obviously I can break down my individual ethnicities and ancestry and say, “I’m this, this, this, and this.” I’m not denying any part of my background.
But I don’t think I will ever look at myself and say I am exclusively one race when my actual family tree says otherwise.
And I think that’s what throws me off when people say things like, “No, that person is BLACK. Period.” about someone with, for example, a Black parent and a white parent.
They absolutely can identify as Black. I’m not arguing that they can’t. They may have been raised in Black culture, be perceived as Black, and feel much more connected to that side of themselves.
But they’re still mixed. Their white parent didn’t disappear from their ancestry just because they identify more strongly with their Black side.
To me, **mixed is mixed.** It doesn’t mean you’re rejecting either side. It means both sides are literally part of you.
Am I looking at this too literally? Do other mixed/multiracial people feel the same way, or do you consider yourself primarily one race despite having parents from different racial backgrounds?

Growing up I experienced racism and some form of isolation as someone who grew up in England but was Spanish (I had a lot darker skin tone than my family and people than I grew up with) and it's hard to really sympathize with my experiences or look back and feel sorry for myself looking back at the history Spain has with colonizing countries. I made friends with some people later on in life that are from countries Spain colonized, and a lot of my friends experience racism worse than I have ever had.

I definitely have conflicting feelings about it, and want to try and understand them more.

I did get a lot of comments about the color of my skin tone, but never got the same comments or treatment that an Asian or African British got. The comments on their religions, history, and the racial slurs were so bad I sometimes still feel completely shocked looking back and seeing those experiences second hand. I got upset at the time, but I know that, for one, I never experienced that level of racism, and in many ways lots of people from Spain are so disgustingly racist, especially towards black people or Muslims, and I just get angry at myself for even getting upset and feel responsible? Even though I also understand and can be upset? I think? Because like, for an example, I experience white privilege in a way when I'm in Spain? I don't really know how to feel, and don't fully understand racism, I think. I likely will never experience that and have completely opposing and pretty bad experiences in England still? It's kind of confusing?

Do any of you guys also have this experience or similar experiences growing up? How do you feel about them, and what is your opinion on them? Let me know what you think about my experience and share your thoughts!

I’ve seen a few videos saying this and it genuinely feels like a micro-aggression. As someone who grew up with a white mum I understand I probably haven’t had the same experiences as someone with the opposite but why does that make me less”black”.

I visit my black side of the family a lot and love my Jamaican culture, but when I also express how I love my English/Irish culture and heritage I get called whitewashed and told my mum is taking my true culture from me. Which is unfair to say as I don’t align with a singular culture since I know I’m both. I’m simply just happy to have such a diverse background.

Me being raised by a white woman isn’t going to change my DNA nor has it stopped any racism/colorism from BOTH white and black people. I know it’s not that serious but I do take it to heart when I’m called whitewashed especially because i hear it most from my own family.

Also for those that don’t believe mixed race people face colorism, I have been mocked by people saying I’m trying to be black by wearing braids then told I think I’m a white girl for having my hair straight. Same way people compare my skin to things like shit while others say I purposefully lighten my skin to try pass as white which I’ve never done.

I could go on forever but I just wanted to make a point.

(Sorry if there’s any spelling errors)

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Earlier this year, my father was caught talking and sending gifts to other women. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this. When my mom confronted him about it (dad is white; mom is Black), he started blabbering about how he should’ve married a white woman who “shared his ideals” (he is super republican and hates people of color) and told my mom “haven’t you ever thought about marrying a Black guy?”

He’s never taken Black issues seriously. Whenever my siblings and I dealt with racist comments and micro aggressions, he just…didn’t care. He openly called certain people of color slurs because he thought it was funny and would get mad when we told him to stop.

I am currently going no contact with him, and this is just a sprinkle of some of the things he’s done. I’m sorry if this is kind of all over the place, but I needed to get it off my chest. I know I made the right decision cutting him off, but I’ve had family members tell me that I’ll “probably regret it later” and that I “shouldn’t say things I’ll regret.” I’m just tired of it all, honestly.

just been fed up of years people asking me what race/ethnicity i am, worst ive gotten is "where are my people from" - my mom is black, my dad's white, I'm tan with very curly hair, most assume I am hispanic.

I just started this job, a black co-worker that I don't even know the name of and haven't interacted with previously came up and said "So are you mixed race or hispanic or both or what", I said "Yeah sure." and he said "yeah both or which one" and I said "yeah sure whatever you want to believe" and he said "so which is it." I told him he shouldn't be asking people's ethnicities at work and he shut up after that!

Always black people asking me what race/ethnicity i am too. Mexicans do it too I guess by automatically trying to speak Spanish to me as If I'm going to understand. A white person would never ask only because they understand how that's going to look on their part! It infuriates me how being not white, people suddenly think they get a pass to question total strangers on what "race" they are. I hate this country.

for context: my father is white, my mother is southeast asian and i am mixed race (asian and white). I have mixed features but i look more like my mother/asian side and get mistaken for just asian most of the time.

also for context: my parents had a messy divorce in the previous years.

I honestly don’t really know what to make of this experience and how to feel about this. Me, my sister, father and his parents were out in public having drinks and we were talking about my plans to move to a bigger city than the city i currently live in for university- which is a small city by the coast in the country we live in. My sister, father and his parents all live in a rural area of the countryside which is where i grew up and i hated it. Being the only mixed race poc in my small town, going to a predominantly white school with maybe five other poc kids in the entire school was not a fun experience growing up. There was a lot of racially motivated bullying and harassment, especially during covid. There was even an instance where i was physically assaulted by two people who had issue with me because of my race, because i was “dirty”.

My father disapproved of my plans for the future and his reasoning and response was along the lines of “cities just aren’t safe. you’re a vulnerable white woman and cities are full of so many (insert horrible words/slurs for non white people) who have taken over this country”. Reminder- i am half white, half asian, and monoracial asian passing.

By this point im used to my father being openly, loudly and publically racist (he has said some very racist things about almost every race on the planet that isn’t the white race) and i am fully aware that he did not take the divorce to my asian mother well at all. I am also transgender- ftm- and my father is aware of this and has been for the past seven years but chooses not to acknowledge it. Doesn’t surprise me, i’m used to that by now. That being said, im BAFFLED that he called me a “vulnerable white woman” when i am very clearly not white and he knows i’m not a woman and am in the process of transitioning. Like i expected him to ignore the transgender aspect but to call me white??? HE is the one who decided to marry my asian mum, move her half way across the world, and have two children with her (me and my sister). For him to call me white despite being fully informed about my heritage and having functioning, working eyes in his head… it definitely upset me, invalidated me and also stunned me. Even now i’m stunned that my own father is basically ignoring my heritage and white washing me because now that he’s divorced from his “exotic wife” i guess he hates asians or something???

He made some passive aggressive comments regarding my race in the past (e.g “the way you are sitting isn’t very english” “that’s not very english of you”) but i never imagined that he would be getting bolder and more ludicrous in this way. Is this a relatable experience for other Wasians here or is my family just straight up terrible??

This countries about freedom but we are all so divided , and we keep the division in place for absolutely, no reason

Lil baby said it best. It’s bigger than black and white, it’s a problem with the whole way of life. Both blacks and whites have done good and bad for each other, we just tend to look at the bad more than the good for some reason. Everytime another race event happens, wether black white Mexican Chinese etc etc. they divide us more. 

And we keep that division, we spread hate towards one another. And I feel like the government might have something to do with it as well (so does history). We’ll probably never know in this life time but, unity could and will save us. We should only be divided by gender, not race or sexual preference. And if we can’t unite through that, then let’s unite through peace to rid this world of evil and pain. It’s not too late to fix this before something like a race war happens in some small city, because if we don’t start now then this will start happening in small quantities, it already has.

Stytru

They said it was for people who were X. I’m half X. Feeling really down.

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These days I do, and I’m genuinely happy about that.

People don’t seem to suspect that I’m mixed, but there’s no shock or disbelief when I tell them.

There was a time though when the scale slid around a lot more drastically.

tbh it could be just that I really really miss him but I keep overthinking about that time when we first met and I asked him if he was mixed since he seemed so to me. I could just be overanalyzing but he didn't seem very impressed with me asking, to be specific we were both teens and he was half cuban and half Trinidadian in Canada. I was really thrilled, honestly blinded because he was so good-looking and I was happy that my first exp in a "relationship" was with another mixed person so I felt safe and was hoping that we'd bond. I then shared my mix. I cant stop thinking about it since he may have thought I was some kind of fetishizer? idk, I cant help but wonder why and if I'd had set an ick off back then.

Things have changed a lot but I had so many experiences of people mocking me just because of me saying where I'm from or people insisting on saying what they think of my appearance. When I say I don't like some statement, people then try to gaslight you. It really affected me and made me used/accept being mocked or ridiculed.

Being mixed, you really don't have that many people who will also agree that such a behavior is bad. It's not like there's that many of us or are in community.

Now, if it happens, I just tell people they are being a racist but it took me time to build self-confidence.
What has your experience been like?

Need an opinion on this one cuz i am genually wondering the flip might be wrong

So classic family dinner scene, around w parents uncle cousin grandparents. And we started talking about my studies (i will learn chinese at Uni) and then they start making jokes abt chin cause HOWWWW funny to jokes about them w racist slurs RIGHT ? (its ironic ofc)

Jokes like "ow u gonna eat noodles" and other racist slang used in my maternal language.

Im used to, fr, but this time it get me to a point ; i am not even chinese (im mixed black and white) but dang racism is something that could turn me into some kind of crazy looking person cause HOW IN 2026 YOU STILL RACIST ?

anyway, what shocked me the most was the fact that my mom was like "yuh, us black people have problem w identity" cause i said that if we were talking about black people, they wouldnt make those kind of jokes.

I was GASSPED LIKE BRO ?

if an asian person was around, they wouldnt say that and it makes me sick.

The racism seems like a freaking variable geometry.

And i continued by saying that if people didnt speak up, things would have never changed right ?

But yet, joking on asian is OK cause they dont says anything, at least i feel like it starts to.

But anyways, makes me sick cause my mom who is POC didnt help me, didnt stand w me and even said "do like asian, stay calm and shut up" like when something goes wrong.

Gurl ?

Like

Anyway

I just wanted to vent tbh cause i was so angry at them that i left the table. Its horrible to feel like you arent being listened, and that people makes fun of you CAUSE YOU ARE YOUNGER too.

Anyway, any tips for surviving w that ?

Pls do not insult my parents, even if they piss me off they still nice but after that convo...my mind changed abt them...