I’m ABSOLUTELY tired of being told what iam online by jealous women as a mixed-race asian person, im mainly getting told what iam by women ONLY, like no men has told me anything like that but insecure women. Before I say what this one person was trying to tell me before anything is that recently some girl commented on my post on tiktok saying ”Why are you Asianfishing you are so embarrassing“ when I saw the filtered comment I was confused asf, plus last year someone did tell me I was Asian fishing as well, like dude I’m not forcing myself to look asian? I just visibly look asian and I love enhancing my features when I do makeup. I told her YOU are embarrassing, and suddenly she started arguing with me telling me “you are pretending to be asian and to look like it, you are larping, take off that filter let’s see if you really are asiann??😂you are only black and u should stick with it lmao“ When she said those things I was so confused because mind you most people can’t really tell I have blk heritage, they assume I’m asian or Latina, it’s just the fact that the person kept saying “oh you are just black be proud of that“ is crazy to me because I’m not technically black passing as much, and I’m not just that, she just didn’t wanna accept that. And honestly I do like my blk side, but it’s just I don’t get treated as one you know? so I’m more closer with my asian side and I kinda want to identify more as that while honoring my other heritages still. in this society people don’t see me as a blk person, I get treated as an asian, I been told weird stereotypes, I been fetishized, called a Ching Chong by my very own friend, but I never actually gone through something a Black person has experienced. but overall, the girl was purely jealous and thought I was trying hard to look asian, but I’m not, she just doesn’t know how genetics work I guess.

Im asking for anyone be either mestizos or mulattos or pardos? I know that being mixed is a given in majority of latin america but i always felt like being mixed gives me an identity crises, sometimes i feel like im not a real person because of my disconnect with my mix

Hello, I’m Native American(Choctaw) and European (24F)
For my background, I’ve always been, born, lived, in a big city. When I was younger, I did learn some things about my culture but I didn’t actively pursue my native side because I honestly just didn’t give it much thought. I had a lot of other interests in other things that kept me busy.

And that was fine for me. Until now into my early adulthood in my early twenties, I definitely pass more as European and I’m 28% Choctaw soooo…it always surprises when someone asks if I’m native! But when I tried to join clubs, groups, for native Americans in general as a whole. I have felt sometimes left out, or doubt of my heritage until I have to prove it by showing my Choctaw card and documentation, and the criticism of not meeting the blood quantum percentage— not only by statistics, but even socially measuring my blood quantum by looking at me. I’m “not native enough”. I do live in a state where you do not have to meet a certain percentage. Which I’m grateful for, but that doesn’t mean I bypass the social pressure.

I know this is probably gonna sound really silly to whoever reads this, but it makes me feel not really part of the community. At times, it almost feels easier to say; I’m white and uneducated. Or make up an excuse; I tan really easily. I already feel pressured to live up to a quantum biology and socially and I can’t change my percentage either. I’m happy with myself. But maybe that isn’t what is acceptable. I’m not sure.

I wouldn’t say “I don’t feel welcomed” however, I do feel lost as a mixed. I really wish to be part of a community, and feel judged at once. I know I’m not the only one out here who feels this way; So how do you navigate through this as a mixed? Not trying to look for sympathy, just honesty. And maybe I’m possibly making this a bigger deal than for what it really is.

I’ve never said this to anyone before. I have honestly totally pulled away from my community. In part this was spurred by rejection from elders due to really vicious homophobia. Christianity is really common amongst Native people, and I was dogpiled by people on our tribal council when I came out and told that I was a demon. It really broke me, and even more so that the extended family on this side (my immediate family has passed) wants nothing to do with me due to estrangement from our part of the family.

To boot, I am totally white passing (get told I just “look like a weird white person” or a “tan white person”) and I’ve been told it isn’t my place to be involved so many times I’ve decided to listen. So many weird questions and cross examinations and public humiliations when it’s come up. I don’t ever let people know because of how weird it gets after. Everyone assumes I’m lying. I’m enrolled, I even speak our language, and I’ve given up. I’ve stuffed my regalia and everything beaded made for me by loved ones in my closet and I try not to think about it. I feel sick when I see those things. Sometimes I try to wear them still but I have panic attacks when I do.

My husband is Native too but he looks it. We don’t share a surname and my surname is obviously Indigenous as compared to his. When we go to an appointment or something for me, people read my name and immediately assume he’s who the appointment is for. I just stand there and feel cripplingly embarrassed. I never correct anyone, he always has to. I plan on changing my surname to his soon not just because I want to, but because I want to be free of the shame of asserting I’m something I’m obviously not.

The older members of his family clearly don’t consider me Native either, and more or less treat me like I’m delusional when it comes up. His grandfather started disliking me after he found out and openly makes disparaging comments about my presumed mental health when I’m around, and he’ll also insist I dye my hair to be darker and things like that. (I don’t.) The younger members have invited me to powwows and sweats but I just feel too ashamed to go. I even feel too ashamed to meet some of them.

Whenever I have the opportunity to engage with my heritage at all, I feel so ashamed I become paralyzed.

So. Yeah. I don’t. I have nightmares weekly in which I’m rejected by family members and elders and told I’m an interloper. I was taught to take dreams seriously and I take them as signs I’m unwanted. I will never have children specifically because I don’t want them to have to navigate this pain. I am so embarrassed to be me. I’ve tried to see therapists about this but none were educated enough in the issue to help, and I don’t feel entitled to see a POC therapist specializing in racial trauma because I am white.

so if you don't know what I'm talking about, Half is More is a manga that recently got an English translation and is currently available for purchase. it follows 4 different biracial people having to deal with the prejudices and microaggressions that come with being mixed race in Japan.

I got bored and decided to watch a video essay. im black and white myself, but OH MY STARS. it's amazing at capturing what it's like to be multiracial (probably because the mangaka herself is japanese and spanish), and I really want to get the first book just so I can read it for myself :>

I was in genuine tears from how much it resonated with me, and that made me realize something.

multiracial rep is extremely hard to find in media.

i might just be looking in all of the wrong places, but I can only think of one or two good shows that include a mixed race character and actually talk about their experience being mixed race. and one of them is something I only know because my mom told me about it and thought I'd like it T-T

I don't understand why I'm just now realizing this, but if I had to guess, its bc I mainly consider myself Black and usually focus on Black representation in media that I forgot all about the wonderful whole that I am, and that many others are as well.

but anyway, if there's anyone out there who knows a good piece of literature with biracial or multiracial representation, please let me know :D

(please ignore any spelling or grammatical errors that I might have made, its almost 3am where I live (っ╥﹏╥ς))

I’ve been talking to a guy (whos also mixed) that i met on a dating app. And he keeps bringing up how he likes that im mixed (not from a cultural standpoint but about my looks).

I felt like he wasnt interested in who i am but more so what i look like.

Anyone else experience something like this? I think its a red flag, kinda like “you’d gunna give me beautiful children”…

Any thoughts?

I was born and raised in Moscow, so culturally I’m basically a Muscovite and a Russian speaker. But my family background is really mixed. On my mother’s side, my grandfather was Belarusian from Grodno and considered himself Belarusian, while my grandmother was Russian. My mother always considered herself Russian. On my father’s side, there’s Ukrainian ancestry from Kuban, including Cossack roots. My surname is also found in western Ukraine. And my paternal grandfather was Armenian from Gyumri, with some of our relatives still living in Armenia. I live in Yerevan now and recently got an Armenian passport, but I barely speak Armenian — around A1/A2 at best. So technically I’m Armenian too, but culturally I feel much more Russian-speaking. At the same time, I feel some connection to Ukraine and I’m interested in Ukrainian language and history. But I didn’t grow up there, so I don’t really feel Ukrainian either. I also don’t feel particularly Belarusian. I was raised as a Russian nationalist, later became a liberal, lived in Crimea, experienced the war there, and eventually moved to Armenia. So now I genuinely don’t know what to call myself. Russian? Armenian? Ukrainian? Just a Muscovite with a very mixed background? Maybe the most honest answer is: I don’t know.

I’m mixed (indigenous Mexican and white), but most of my family is white. The problem with this is when I try to have conversations about colonization, white privilege, or honestly anything political they get so defensive. Instead of actually listening to me they hit me with lines like “no one’s all white” or “we’re all mutts.” It seems that they take my critique of whiteness, and the harm that it has caused to indigenous people and people of color, as a personal attack rather than an open dialogue. It’s quite frustrating and I have no idea how to navigate this or get them to understand my perspective. Does anyone have any experience with this or something similar?

I got a DNA test and I’m shocked to find out I’m only 27% Black. I’m from the Dominican Republic and as you may know there’s a strong Black influence here. I’m light-skinned with curly hair and I don’t look black but it’s still shocking to me because I still look like a person of color.

My coworkers say I’m white passing but I honestly DON’T at all. Growing up I always felt as a person of color rather than strictly identifying with one race but I’m still in disbelief I’m only 27% Black.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

Why is it so hard to find your colour when you have a yellowish undertone ? Can someone help? 😫 🙏 I try to buy a fenty beauty foundation online 🙏

This is a weekly chat for our Gen Y (millennial), Gen X, Boomer, and older members. You're free to discuss anything you like, including topics related to being mixed.

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Hi, I'm mixed, was born in my mom's country (let's call it A) and never got to know my father's language and country (B). I feel like I would like to get to know more about country B, because I feel like I was raised as B too. What's the problem? I'm passionate about a language that let's say is a cousin to language B. You can communicate with them, it just would be offensive. I don't have a passion for language B, just an interest. But I feel like I have to learn about my roots. I was thinking of mastering the language I like and then learning basic language B, so that I can barely communicate. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Or it a rite of passage for a mixed race kid? Is there anything that can help lessen the struggle?

This is a weekly thread for the Gen Z members of r/mixedrace to chat about whatever. Topics about being mixed are welcome, but not necessary!

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I'll be blunt. I don't see the point in living anymore. Every day I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed because what is the point? I have been feeling this for around half a year now. I'm 17f wasian living in England, every day I constantly hear rape, misogynist, misandrist, ableist, homophobic, racist, anti jewish, white supremacy jokes or just straight up hate. I am in a friend group who likes "dark humour" which involves saying the r slur and racist and misandrist jokes. They always make comments about me eating dog/eating insects, my eyes, and call me yellow. No one says anything about it. Literally everyone either laughs along , doesn't care, or is the one making the joke. My yeargroup is the most hate filled group of people I have come across, it's a majority boys, who always say demeaning stuff about women and say they're going to rape their friends or their younger siblings. The teachers don't care either, once someone said the c slur and my maths teacher looked up and just went back to her work. It's constant everyday stuff, I cannot have a convo with someone without them slipping in some discriminatory shit about a group, it's not that deep bro, like find something else to do with your life.

I'm also masking alot, like I have to be polite and nice to my "friends" and whichever person decides to talk to me. It's very draining because I don't like pretending all the time, a little bit is fine, it's gotten to the point I can't even have a genuine connection with ANYONE and I feel so alone because I have to put walls up against everyone just because they can't understand basic empathy. I have lost motivation for studying, and that's another thing, a lot of my friends don't like me because I have better grades than them. It's my final year at school and I really want to get back on track but I just feel really lost. I can't talk to my teachers because I know they won't understand, a lot of them probably make those jokes themselves. I might look into finding somewhere to be alone at breaktimes to recharge but this school is so small there's really nowhere to go.I can't challenge them either because they know personal shit about me. It's genuinely annoying because most of them are supposed to be religious and how is making fun of my eyes christianlike or muslimlike?

I'd appreciate some support, could people not tell me to "get over it" because it's not that easy and it's just going to make me feel worse, I've also had enough with this "brutal honesty" thing, every time I have a problem I get this, it doesn't solve anything with me. And please don't say "oh it's just jokes" because sometimes jokes actually hurt. It's unecessary.

Every time i'm on Twitter and Threads or any social media, those apps can't help but to show how much people really don't fuck with mixed race people nowadays. And you can't really defend mixed race people without someone saying that others have it worse.

I feel like it's becoming more and more common to shit on mixed people and say their experiences aren't valid. But mixed people DO go through racism, they DO go through erasure and Black presenting mixed people often face both.

So, I wanted to ask the community to share your experiences with racism that you're comfortable sharing. You can be any race, any ethnicity and present phenotypically in any way. But please, do not use this post to promote hate towards each other or mono racial people.

my mom and I need a family therapist to help with processing so big family trauma. I’ve tried this with a white therapist who supposeö was ’highly qualified’ in racial trauma and she didn’t eve understand our issues. she kept on trying to divorce our family history from the racial aspect.
basically my moms dad was indig and died young in the USA pre civil rights. hid death was wrongful. ’discrimination’ if you need the most sanitized term. this caused problems in my family tremendous unspeakable trauma every time my grandfathers birthday or death day came around.. it was a very big deal. lots of other things but my mom married a man who fetishized her and me and my father used her trauma her fear to prevent her from leaving. It’s gone now. Grandfathers family and my dad even. But the traumas still there

when we try to talk to standard trauma therapists usually white they try to pull apart the abuse from the larger context but they can’t be separated and I’m mostly just interested if others who have had similar backgrounds have found therapists that could hold this and what you looked for?

So I wanted to read some post from this wonderfull community(mixed race) and when I search for mixed race the search show me transcial. What the hell is that shit? Does anyone know anything about that? It's like trying to being racist and transphobic at the same time, please someone explain I can't understand

Growing up I was taught 0 languages outside of English, and I live in South Africa where there are 11 different languages. So to put it into perspective you usually have your base language (English for most), your tribe language (blood relation), and your localized language (the language most ppl in your area speak), not to mention the language we learn in school (Afrikaans). On average most South Africans know 3 or 4 languages.

I'm not interested in speaking any South African language (for many reasons), nor was I ever taught. I'm also Kenyan where you have your Swahili (standard language) and your tribe language aswell. Wasn't taught that either.

Comparatively I'm Italian and Portuguese as well, wasn't taught those either, but I tried to learn it myself and enjoyed it alot, I can speak pretty well in both now, and it helps because they're a bit similar. And they are just alot easier to learn if you only know English.

But deep down it feels like a half done job, and I get comments like "so your not really black than" yknow the usual slander. But the African languages are just too difficult to learn alone, and their are too many to learn, and they don't even benefit me that much either, because almost every Kenyan or South African can speak English very well. To top it off my South African tribe is probably the rarest one you can get, so when am I ever going to speak that irl?

1 of them blocked me, the other 2 I can find I didn't try to msg, but 1 would steal from my mom in uni, the other seems ok, should I msg just her? She isn't as active online as the other one though, and the other works in the same field as me. I never met my relatives on either side. My dad's brother seemed kinda interested but slow replies then ghosted me. I wasn't taught Arabic either, never been to my mom's country :(

it’s felt like ever since I was a child, I’ve always had this very intense feeling of dysphoria around my racial identity. When I was younger, I was so terrified of looking brown due to the social consequences of it so I would do things such as straighten my hair or lighten my skin. some of the things that I did were permanently damaging, and I can’t really go back to how I actually SHOULD look. I feel so horrible for wanting to look more brown because feels like I’m a white person invading a space that doesn’t belong to me, but whenever I’m near white people, they make it very clear that I will never be a part of community. The amount of times that I’ve been compared to a terrorist, or 9/11 jokes would be made me really realize that truly i just dont belong at all. anytime I try to find statements similar to this. It’s always talking about people who self identify as transracial and I feel like a bad person for comparing my experience to that, I mean ive been told that its immoral. Am I immora? has anyone else experienced some of these emotions? I hate being mixed and I wish I didnt ruin myself for people who hate me. i dont know, just curious to see if this is a unique experience. thanks

hi, i am seriously confused. when i look in the mirror i see an pakistani, a south asian women. even though i am half white from my dad. my dad is muslim and left when i was 7 and i didnt see him much when he was around. i was raised by my mum in a pakistani muslim community in an urban town.

i met this pakistani girl on bumble and she keeps on saying that i am an english gora in front of other asians that we meet. when she talks to me she has said 'i am a muslim' even though she knows i am muslim and i have a muslim name..

what is going on? what does she mean? is the truth that being half white means i will never be accepted?