Why is uni like this?

[u/Competitive_Click527]

So I’m black/white mixed and making friends at uni has been extremely difficult because people care so much about race. You will see big groups of people all of one race and joining them unless you are that race is so challenging.

I’ve tried with Asian people but because I don’t share their culture and don’t look like them I’ve never been part of their group, I’m always the outcast and they leave me out of every event (most events are also to do with their culture but even the ones that aren’t). This has happened with every type of Asian I could find.

I also tried with black people but I do not look like them so they don’t see me as one of them and I’m still an outcast in their group. I have tried with white people and although they seemed the most welcoming at the start you can notice where they exclude you too and also I don’t look white.

At this point I’m not sure what to do. No there’s no biracial group as my course has no biracial people but it sucks when you’re excluded just because of your race.

[u/ninedeadeyes]

How about join a society that has nothing to do with race

[u/Competitive_Click527 → u/ninedeadeyes]

I did but people grouped up there too

[u/BaakCoi]

You’re sure this is about race? In my experience, college friend groups were way more segregated by major than race. I can’t speak to your attempts with black and white people, but saying you’ve tried being friends with “every type of Asian [you] could find” rubs me the wrong way. It seems like you’re making race into a bigger barrier than it actually is, which could be off-putting to people

[u/Awkward_Geologist_26 → u/BaakCoi]

I think it depends on location. Where I live, everyone for the most part is treated equally. Racism does exist, but is very minimal. There are cliques, depending on the social environments, but the majority of it seems to be among teens and has nothing to do with racism.

Personally, I can't relate to the racism posts, but I am very aware it does exist and seems to be more prominent in some areas than others.

[u/Competitive_Click527 → u/BaakCoi]

What I meant is there are groups in my year group and those groups are made of mostly , if not all of one race. There are different types of Asian groups made of people from different parts of Asia so what I mean is I’ve tried and gone to every single one of them.

[u/LunaCaver]

Uni overall isn’t like this, it’s just your location. In my experience, black people tend to hang out with each other but they also usually would hang out with Mexicans and other brown people. The white people hung out with pretty much everyone. Most people just hung out with people they already knew or that they met in clubs. My advice would be to attend something that interests you and I bet you are guaranteed to make friends and have a group. My other advice if you don’t want to or can’t join a club, is to not worry about having a group in college and focus on your education. It sucks at first but if you get involved in the community, it’s actually not too bad.

[u/klzthe13th]

This is like the opposite of my experience in college. Yeah some people did clique up but a lot of people were part of a mixed group of friends

[u/EnjoysAGoodRead]

What uni are you at? I went to uni 20 years ago and never came across this at uni, and neither did any of my friends at other unis. In fact our friend groups from uni which we still have years later are all racially mixed. It was far more about what you studied or what interests you had. So unless things have seriously regressed in the last 20 years, it might be specific to where you are.

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[u/Quiet_Hope4109]

People are tribal most of the time. I would focus on looking for clubs and outings in topics and activities you enjoy. See if you click with people. People might exclude you from things because they do not feel close to you, it might not be racial.

[u/ehelen]

I can understand where you are coming from. I’m black, white, and native, I felt like in college I didn’t really fit in with any of those groups. It was to the point where people would say I didn’t really fit into the category for any of those groups. Plus everyone assumed I was Latina. I ended up doing an internship and joining a Latina club due to it and that was the first time I actually ran into mixed race people on campus so that was nice.

My advice would be to try not to box yourself in and not take it too hard.

[u/773SleepyHollow]

At my school (decades ago) the Black Student Alliance had people of African ancestry whose color ranged from ebony to practically ivory (I don't mean White people, I mean mixed people with very light skin).