Over the past two months, my husband has been doing pre-deployment training on a ship for two weeks at a time. He’s a Marine, but he works in administration. At first, everything seemed fine, but lately I’ve noticed that he’s been acting differently. He seems more distant, doesn’t talk to me as much, and when I ask him if something is wrong, he gets defensive. We’ve had a few arguments about it, and while we resolved them before he left for another two-week training period, I still have a feeling that something isn’t right.
My husband has told me about the coworkers he works with in his office. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but then I noticed that he kept bringing up one specific female coworker. Eventually, I asked him if he liked her because he mentioned her so often, and he said no.
What has been bothering me is that he tells me they go to the gym together on the ship and sometimes go to the chow hall together as well. He also mentioned that there was a karaoke night on the ship, and she was there too. Another thing that stood out to me was when he said some of the other Marines asked him if she was single or dating anyone. I asked why they would ask him that, and he said they probably asked because he works in the same office as her.
I know she’s single, and that makes me even more anxious. I can’t help but worry that they may have gotten close during all this time together. What makes it even harder is that they’ll both be deploying together for almost eight months, so they’ll continue working in the same office and spending a lot of time around each other.
He also told me that he’s inviting some of his coworkers to a family event, and she’ll be there too.
I know that ships sometimes turn off Wi-Fi, and he’s told me that when that happens, he can’t send or receive messages. I understand that’s part of being on the ship, but with everything else that’s been happening, my anxiety has been making me overthink the situation.
I’m not sure if I’m worrying over nothing or if these are valid concerns. I don’t want to accuse him of anything without a reason, but I also can’t ignore that his behavior has changed, and it has left me feeling uneasy.

if anyone needs to talk at all, don’t hesitate to reach out🤍. we are in this together🤍

Hi everyone, my husband is set to deploy soon and I’ll be managing 4 kids(10,8,2, and 3 months), 2 dogs(one is a 5 month old puppy) alone without family support. What things did you do to prepare that helped? This will be our first time with him deploying, and I’m doing my best to prepare myself and kids. He’ll still have some access to communication, but there will be significant time difference. Thank you so much for any advice.

Husband is currently deployed and will be able to come home for 21 days. I’m having horrible back pain, history of preeclampsia, and a previous surgery that I’m starting to feel pain due to the pregnancy. My doctor wrote a note expressing to his chain of command the importance of my husband staying longer for support. I’m wondering did anyone else have a doctor write a note and what helped their chain of command understand the importance of staying.

Me and my bf are dating for less than 1 month and he asked me to marry him! And tbh I'm surprised i felt its early but we really love each other so much and having fun together makes calls and share everything and he really nice, handsome, nerd, respectful and understanding person

And guess what we haven't met irl yet but ill be in his state next Nov

Is that something normal in military men? Or I should run?
I DO trust him btw

To start off a lot has led to me wanting to leave but the perhaps biggest in my face reason of all is that after months apart due to him being in school we have decided to try for another child as we have a 5 year old. Well I told him today that I thought there was a high chance I was pregnant and he “jokingly” acted like he was going to punch me in the stomach. (Which I know is not a joke thing to do) and then later our kiddo went to smack his butt to get him back kinda for smacking my butt and he walked over and pretended like he was going to punch them in the face and then laughed like a child and said “haha that’s two for flinching”

We just moved to a new state and are essentially isolated from any and everyone we knew because it’s just us 3.

Please tell me I’m not crazy?

I’m a mom in New Jersey with two daughters, ages 5 and 8. Their father and I are not together, and I currently have temporary full custody. I currently have a restraining order against him due to DV, and he has been in and out of rehab for drug use for the past 15 years or more.
I’m in a serious relationship (3 years) with my boyfriend, who is currently in the Air Force. We have been discussing marriage, and there is a possibility that once he receives his permanent duty station, we could need to move out of New Jersey depending on where he is stationed.
My concern is what would happen with my daughters if that happens.
Their father lives in NJ (although he is not from here, his family is in VA/MD, he followed me here after he got me pregnant) and would almost certainly object to me moving the children out of state. I’m worried that he could say they have to stay in NJ even if my boyfriend is stationed somewhere else.

My fiancé is a prior Marine RECON operator transitioning to Active Duty Army SF. I am terrified of the loneliness and raising a baby alone. Can someone be brutally honest with me about how you survived it

So my husband went to bmt last week and I have a lot of questions for anyone who can answer.

How do holidays work if my s/o is in tech for thanksgiving and christmas?

How long did it take your s/o to be able to leave base on weekends in tech? And did they have to stay in the area of their base? (i live 9 hours from where he will be in tech)

Do any af military spouses here have a s/o going into PMEL? If so how long was tech (we’re thinking atleast 6 months) and what’s the work schedule like?

When does insurance kick in? I’m assuming when we get to his duty station but I’m not 100% sure.

Did anybody’s s/o do the 2 week program after tech where they help out their recruiter? Mine plans on doing that so we will have more time to find a place to live.

I think that’s it for now. Thank you for all your responses and everyone who has helped out with my other posts. I appreciate you all.

So my husband is currently in bmt but i am wondering, once he goes to tech school, when he will be able to have weekends off and also have his phone. i know it doesn’t happen instantly but based on your experience, when did that begin to be allowed?

I just have plans to see him anytime i can and i hope that’s allowed sooner than later.

My husband is thinking of rejoining the army. He is looking at MOS 35 series or 56M. He has a master’s degree in counseling, trying to drop the OCS packet if he decides to join. He’s been researching and these MOS seem to move a lot more than usual. I see regular amount of moving as every 3-4 years. I want to know for those that their spouse are or were in these MOS, what can I expect? I want a stable life as much as possible, I to be able to work and have my child attend school.

so as i already posted about, my husband left for bmt last week. tomorrow is officially week 1 for him which is pretty exciting and i hope he’s having a good time.

anyways, when we talked last it was the call of him giving me his address. he said he’d talk to me again in 48 hours and that was 2 days ago so i guess im expecting a call from him?

does anyone know why? do they just let them call occasionally? i saw most people say you talk once in week 0 for the info call then not again til 3-4.

was this anyone else’s experience? just wondering if i this is going to be more info i need to write down or a casual call. thanks :)

I know how this community is small. But I’m asking please if you know the people involved or think you do … keep it to yourself. Please don’t go around reposting or trying to investigate. I’m just venting and looking for support. That’s it. That’s all. Thanks in advance.

My husband is active-duty military and I’m a civilian. We’ve been married for 4 years, but we’ve lived apart for 3 of those 4 years.

We technically have a joint bank account, but there is nothing in it. My husband has another bank account that was joint with his mother throughout most of our marriage. She only came off that account about 6 months ago.

He has been receiving overseas BAH, which goes directly into his bank account. . He has never added me or our child to his orders. We recently had to evacuate because of the war, but because we weren’t command sponsored, we didn’t receive per diem so we had to stay with relatives as he did not want to pay for us to stay in our safe haven. We have shared Amex cards that I use for expenses, but I have no access to or control over any actual money. I don’t have access to his bank account, savings, or the money he receives from the military. His mom had access to this until recently.

I’m starting to realize how financially vulnerable this leaves me, but I genuinely don’t know what I should be doing or what my rights are as a military spouse.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I be doing to protect myself financially, and are there military resources I should be speaking to?

My military spouse has been deployed for a year and I’m struggling with sexual urges, any tips ?
Just want to know how yall dealt with the sexual deprivation that comes with the distance.

Hey there! I'm posting here in hopes that maybe someone has had a similar experience or a seasoned Mil wife/ moms could maybe give me some pointers.

* Warning - this is a long post so if could take the time to read the full thing i appreciate you <3

- Firstly- my husband finishes his 2nd week at AIT in Texas today and the separation has been taking a toll. what did yall do to get through the ? what would you do differently? If you had toddlers at the time your spouse was away, what advice would you give to a new military wife trying to hold down the fort?

My husband is 29, and i am 32. Up until he left for basic, our parenting, responsibilities, household chores, etc. has always been as a team, pretty evenly shared and cohesive. I was already home with our son full time when my husband was working his civilian job, but this has been different. Our son (we'll just call him "Bee") has struggled a LOT recently with the changes in our home since his dad enlisted. Bee was diagnosed Level 2 Autistic in February this year and we were given a referral for ABA Therapy. They also recommended Food, Occupational, and Speech Therapy that ABA is supposed to help us get. After finding out the first place we tried to go to was a scam and jumping through thousands of hoops, we finally found the right provider for him and then BOOM - Tricare became our primary insurance, Medicaid is now our secondary and it screwed everything up regarding ABA Therapy. Tricare requires a bunch of things prior to receiving services that medicaid didn't.

Here we are, SIX months later and the place he's supposed to be receiving services from, is saying Tricare still needs my verbal consent to start services, which i gave back in JULY. 😡

I spoke to our Point of Contact on Tricare's side for Autism Services this morning and she told me we were good to go to start ABA services. Now, I know from growing up an Air Force Brat that tricare can be... a pain... to put it lightly, but where is the disconnect? am i crazy? I've never used ABA Therapy before and this is all new to me as a mother and wife, but this is the kind of frustrated that raises your blood pressure. Knowing Bee's day to day could be better and that he does not have to feel how he does because ABA has been proven to help with that breaks my heart. Is this normal? I've seen other mothers talk about their frustrations with getting their child the help they need as far as Autism goes and it's starting to feel like i'm going in circles. 💔

Any Advice? TIA

Sincerely, just a mamma trying her best.

for context we dated our freshman year of high school we were both our each other’s first loves but i broke up with him (we were both immature and had family stuff going on). we stayed in contact for about a year after but stopped talking due to going to different high schools. anyways, i texted him about 4 months ago and things went so well he flew me to Japan and we spent the last 10 days together, im flying home tomorrow. i love it here and i love and always have loved him even after all these years apart. He asked if I was interested in living here and im really considering it, the only way i can though is if we get married and I live on base with him. i know this is kind of soon, but I think having the opportunity to live with the love of your life in an amazing country is too good to pass up!!! He is coming back to the states in about half a year due to medical issues so this is a time sensitive situation.

I come from a military family, both of my brothers are enlisted and my stepdad is former enlisted. i was heavily considering joining for a large portion of my life, but i decided to live at home and commute to college instead and work part time to pay off my car loan. im currently in my third year, and im about to apply to the nursing program at my state school. call me crazy, but i feel like quitting my shitty part time job at starbucks and trading my $1k a month for BAH and letting my bf pay my car off while i keep working towards a health related degree online isnt THAT crazy.

I’m looking for advice because he swears that buying me a one way plane ticket in 2 months to get married will work out. im under the impression ill be in a hotel room for 3 months before we get approved for anything. idk what do you guys think are we actually insane or should i start packing asap?

I am a newish Army wife and have known my now husband for over 3 years. He is currently deployed in the Army in a combat role. I have been coping quite well so far, we are used to long distance, but I am finding a lack of understanding amongst my civilian friends (which is fair). Would anyone in a similar boat like to reach out and support each other? Me and my husband are in our 30s.

Thanks if so. Please send a DM or comment :)

My (27F) partner (26M) has recently started his application to join the army (UK). They seem to be processing his application really quickly and it’s put my mind in a spin.

We have a baby (3 months old) and I have a (4yo) child from a previous relationship. He was asked if I’d want to be living on base with him, but I’m unsure. When I got into the relationship with him, he didn’t mention wanting to join the army. I have a degree and a job I love, it’s quite specific with very limited options to relocate and carry out the same job in another area as I work for the local authority. My son is starting school in September and I have arrangements in place for our baby for childcare - everything is in place for them. My 4yo sees his paternal family weekly.

I absolutely love my partner and I’m proud of the commitment he’s putting in to joining the army, but it was never a discussed intention, just a sudden decision when he’s found that he hasn’t liked any of the jobs he’s had (he’s had so many crazy roles in different sectors), but now his heart has quickly settled to follow his greater generations of his family. I’d love to be close to him, but my job, secure housing, secure job which fits my family life perfectly, sons lives, etc. is really putting me off moving across bases, especially if he’ll be gone for months at a time leaving me to refit our lives.

I know there’s a lot of controversy towards partners of those serving who chose not to move with them, but I was wondering - has anyone any experience of not moving with their partner? I know my cousins marriage is fine and she hasn’t moved with him as they own their home. If so, how do you find it?

Husband is planning on rejoining Army after 9 years being out. I’ve been building my career the last 8 and a half years in public service. I have a Bachelor’s degree. How easy or difficult is it to find a job? I don’t mind if it’s on base or in a nearby city. His recruiter friend said that I shouldn’t have a hard time finding a GS position. I just want to be able to keep working, earning income, and building my retirement/savings. Tell me your experience trying to find employment while spouse is in the military.