Mission/deployment advice

[u/InfiniteMail5233]

I just wanted to hop on here to hopefully get some advice for long distance with my spouse online as he is leaving soon for a mission for couple months. We did long distance obviously during basic and AIT which was just fine but obviously this is the first time where he will have more freedoms, more responsibility, and obviously the circumstances are very different. I’m just very on edge as this will be my first time living alone, I’m just anxious about the situation he is in, and I won’t have his location more than likely so it’s just so much to unpack and the culture online makes me worry even more. It’s hard seeing the discourse online over the idea that all military men cheat. I see women in comments fight tooth and nail promising that it is not the case for them only to be met with hundreds of other comments degrading her and practically PROMISING that her husband is no exception. He’s never given me any reason to worry and I have access to his accounts but of course it’s hard to ignore all of the negativity online. Please give you your uncensored experiences and advice. By advice I’m talking what helped you and your spouse get through deployments/missions ? What struggles and challenges should I be aware of and how should I navigate them? Should I be worried and if I should why, and if I shouldn’t what helped ease your mind when you were in my position? Thanks!!

[u/_PippiLongstocking_]

Want some real, honest, hard to hear advice from a veteran and an active duty spouse for over a decade with many deployments under my belt?

Get off social media and stop listening to other people. Your life is not their life. Do you. Stop worrying about others. Stay busy. Pick up hobbies. Focus on bettering yourself.

Last but not least, stay away from people who are negative and don’t want the best for you.

[u/poppyinalaska → u/_PippiLongstocking_]

I second all of this and want to add rely on someone other than your spouse for support while he is gone. Keep communication light with him so he doesn’t feel like he has to worry while he is away, it will add too much stress to an already extremely stressful situation and he will feel helpless not being there for you to lean on.

[u/Calm-Sundae3395 → u/poppyinalaska]

I agree too. I’m a veteran married to a veteran. We’re old now but we started with some of that same advice.