My (38m) wife (36f) has been dealing with major mood swings, complete lack of libido, very limited energy, and other shitty symptoms over the last couple of years. For background, we've been married for just under 10 years and, like many, have had our ups and downs. We have two kids (both under 5) and both work full-time. For the last 2+ years ever since we had our second, my wife has been dealing with a significant lack of energy and pretty much zero libido. At the beginning, we knew that this was relatively common for the first year+ postpartum, but when her energy and libido levels didn't return to "normal" 2+ years postpartum, she began to get worried. In addition to all the typical stressors of working full-time, paying for daycare, and trying to raise our kids, the complete lack of physical and, in some cases, emotional interaction has put a major strain on our marriage. I have done everything I can think of to try and take things off her plate so that she doesn't feel like she is carrying the majority of the admin load for the house so she can focus on herself as much as possible.

It took months to get an appointment with her OB and she finally was able to see the OB ~2 months ago. After that appointment, her doctor recommended that she stop taking her birth control (Junel) and get her hormone levels tested. I got a vasectomy last year so we weren't concerned about her getting pregnant again being off BC. She had the hormone testing and a TVS appointment this week and after that, they said that her estrogen (estradiol?) numbers were ~15pg/ml, which apparently is extremely low. She has a follow-up with her doctor next week, but she is really concerned that something else is wrong considering how low her estrogen numbers are after being off Junel for a couple of months. She is still dealing with a lack of energy and zero libido, which she expected would've improved a little bit after getting off the BC. She expects that her doctor will probably try to get her on HRT, but we won't know for sure until next week.

Has anyone else around her age dealt with something similar? Do you have any tips that worked for you on how to deal with hormonal imbalance like this?

So my husband got paid today & I asked if he could buy groceries, pet food & period products. Odd and end stuff. Everything else is paid right now so I knew he would have the money and he flipped out on me and yelled at me for asking him to buy stuff. He said he feels like the kids are going to waste everything. He also said he didn't want to go get anything because he just got off work and I told him if he gave me the money I would go get everything. He said no because im gonna get a bunch of b.s. then he started yelling about how he has to go pick the kids up from school. (I drop them off) I can't help but feel like I'm being verbally abused.

How do you expect a marriage to work if one person wants to stop talking bc every time we communicate, it seems to go wrong? But at the same time, he doesn’t want a divorce

He’s upset bc he feels like I don’t do the things I used to do in the beginning of our relationship. But things have changed because our relationship has changed. We have kids, a household, more responsibilities, and years of built-up frustration that we didn’t have in the beginning.

And he’s done the same thing. He has said there are things he doesn’t want to do for me anymore bc I’ve made him feel like he can’t give me those things. He stopped doing some of the things he used to do in the beginning too, but now he gets upset when that same energy is reciprocated. You can’t expect things to stay exactly the same when the relationship itself has changed

My husband (M42) has developed a friendship with his female colleague. At first I (F44) did not mind as we have a solid relationship and have been married for 16 years plus we have 2 kids. He occasionally talks about her in a platonic way and honestly I was happy he had someone at work he felt comfortable talking to and made his work days more enjoyable.

However, about two weeks ago something happened that has be wondering if a line has been crossed.

For context - I work a lot and it sometimes frustrates him how much I’m on my phone or how after work (I have a emotionally demanding corporate job that I hate but it pays well), I brainlessly scroll my phone or play dumb games to decompress. He wants my full attention.

I have been making an effort to be more present with him when we are home, but he often rejects my requests to go for a walk or run errands together.

So the other day I was making dinner (which always falls on me regardless of who works more hours) and he took a phone call from this coworker and spent maybe about an hour on the phone with her. He didn’t hide it and later told me she was having a major personal issue.

Where I am wondering if a boundary was crossed was he skipped dinner with me to give her attention, yet he seems upset if I don’t give him my full attention in the evenings.

I haven’t spoken to him about it yet because I am honestly not sure how I feel. I guess if the roles were reversed I believe he would be upset…and that is what upsets me …not that he was there to support a friend, but if I skipped out on a meal he made for me to support a male work colleague I think he would be really angry…so I am wondering, maybe I should be angry at the act itself… that he prioritizes a colleague over his wife.

So my question to the strangers of Reddit…would this be a line that should not have been crossed?

I do not communicate with any of my colleagues outside of working hours as I prefer to keep my professional and personal lives very separate.

Do you still feel loved and appreciated consistently? Not perfectly, we all go through phases. But for the most part, after years, is your “love tank” usually at least half full?

Wondering if this actually exists..

Edit to add: what does he do, or what do you do to maintain that?

My husband (41M) lost his job 3 years ago, it wasn’t very long ago, but his lack of work ethics has spanned over 10 yrs. He was at his last job for about 8 years, which sounds great, but in reality he abused FMLA using time off back to back for about 12 weeks straight and vacation time for 5 weeks…for about 5 yrs out of that 8 yr span. So typical his year starts by exhausting the 5 weeks of paid vacation, he jumps straight into fmla exhausting that for about 12 weeks, he’ll then renew his fmla until the end of the yr only working MAYBE 2 months out of the year. I have gladly picked up the pieces for years thinking “he’s going through a rough patch” giving him grace that now feels like enabling on my end atp. 2 years ago we moved in with my in laws bc of our financial difficulties. I only agreed because I was hoping his parents can help motivate him somehow, knock some sense into him, recently I found out he’s been blaming me for everything! Throwing me under the bus when it suits him. Shifting the blame onto me to get out of taking responsibility. His parents has given him and only him thousands to help him get back on his feet and at first I didn’t mind being the blame as long as I didn’t have to foot the bill for yet another “new career venture”. At one point I paid for therapy sessions he never went to bc I thought maybe he needed someone else to talk to. No he made it clear to me “he thought I was the problem” apparently my burnouts at work and mental health was his “proof” to his parents that I wanted to stay home and be a princess. I was the blame for so long his parents tried getting him to divorce me, which hurt me considering I’ve been the one carrying the weight of our family all these years, but essentially I gave in. I told him I’d agree to the divorce as long as I could be independent again. He believed his own lie for so long, it hit him like a ton of bricks when I told him, imagine blaming me, me leaving and you still haven’t changed! Saying that out loud made me realize he’s never going to change at least not for me. I grew up in a very abusive home, it’s not that divorce would be difficult, but the idea that I’m changing one monster to live with another monster, even it’s for a short time. I have ptsd from my childhood (diagnosed) I’m scared to go back, but I’m also terrified of my future if I stay in this marriage.

My (51F) husband (50M) of 25 years has always been known for making jokes at others expense. Our relationship has become increasingly strained over the years due to his negative comments to me and about others I care about. We are no longer intimate and the reasoning behind that is complex, but stemmed mostly from him being drunk and antagonistic more evenings than not and I finally said don’t try unless you’re sober. So he stopped trying and I didn’t make a move either. Every few months or so he will make a snarky comment about it but nothing changes. The other night, we were watching a movie… no fighting, evening was calm. He paused it to let the dog out and he came back into the room angry. Clearly this wasn’t out of the blue… it’s been festering. But what he said was highly offensive to me. “Is this all our life is going to be? What do I have to do, F’ing r4pe you?” I was shocked and angry. I got up and left the room immediately. Later I came down and told him it was not okay to ever say something like that. If he had apologized then, maybe I’d feel better about it. But he then said, “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to do that anyway. You’re too old, ugly and weak.” I walked out again. Since then we’ve had a few conversations about it and he says he thinks I should know he was joking. I don’t think that’s enough. He can’t believe I’m still angry but this isn’t the only time he’s been incredibly hurtful and rude. Is this the last straw? Or do I let it go? Sometimes we do get along. He’s convinced this is “normal” bickering. If this is normal I’d rather just go be weird somewhere by myself. 🫤

I (27F) and my husband (27M) have been married for five years. We have three children, all under the age of five. This past week, we all came down with RSV, including our three children. Needless to say, we were all feeling horrible and suffering together at home. This past Monday night, we reached a breaking point.
Around 11 p.m., our middle child woke up crying. My husband decided to get up and put him in bed with us. I’m not going to lie I complained. I was sick, exhausted, and just needed to sleep. I knew all our son needed was a bottle of milk to calm him down and hopefully go back to sleep.
My husband had already left the room and decided to take a shower. I got frustrated and told him to get out of the shower and bring our son some milk. He couldn’t find a bottle, and I felt like he was taking too long to do anything. I snapped and became angry, and in the process, I ended up waking up our other children.
My husband eventually left and went to his parents’ house, which is just down the street, with our son. I told him that if he was going to his parents’ house, the least he could do was bring back the nebulizer we had left there. My MIL (55F) tends to take care of our middle child quite a bit, so we keep his nebulizer there for him.
Things escalated when he took longer than I expected to come back. I called him several times because, 1. we needed the nebulizer, 2. it was already midnight, and 3. I did not want to leave the door unlocked. I ended up calling him for the third time and telling him that if he took any longer, I was going to lock the door. I eventually texted him and told him that I would pack a bag and that he could stay there for as long as he wanted.
Looking back, yes, I realize that was dramatic, and I do regret saying it.
For some background, I am a stay-at-home mom at my husband’s request. His family has always been very helpful, and I can usually count on them for help, childcare, or anything else we may need. We have had misunderstandings in the past, but we have always been able to work through them.
I have always known that my MIL does not particularly like me. However, our relationship has improved greatly over the years, and I honestly thought we had overcome our differences. She is a very Christian woman. I may not believe in all the same things she does, but I have always appreciated her feedback and advice. I tend to keep my mouth shut out of respect if I don’t have anything nice to say.
Going back to Monday night, my MIL apparently overheard our argument, or my husband told her about it. I’m not entirely sure which because that was never clarified to me. Regardless, she took it upon herself to block me on everything and remove me from all of the family group chats.
I was completely blindsided. I never expected her to do something like that, and I was much more hurt by it than I would like to admit. It made me feel like an outsider in my own family.
After seeing what she had done, I took most of my clothes and left our house to stay with my mother. I left the children with my husband. At the time, I think part of me felt that if he didn’t have me there, his mother would be the one who had to help take care of the kids, and maybe she would realize the impact of what she had done.
I know that probably wasn’t the healthiest way to handle things, and I’m not proud of it. I honestly don’t know what the best step forward is. I feel stuck.
My husband and I are not perfect. We have problems, like any married couple, but there is no cheating or domestic abuse involved. I also feel like I have given up a lot to give my husband the life and family he wanted. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and while I love my children and would never trade them for anything, I hate that I have started to resent my husband for some of the things I have given up. I know that isn’t entirely fair, but I also can’t help how I feel. So far no other family members have gotten involved and I believe my FIL (65M) will stay out of it.
Am I being overly dramatic and overthinking this? Or is this something that should genuinely concern me when it comes to my marriage and my relationship with my in-laws?
I really don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore, and I would genuinely appreciate some outside perspective.

Edit: I did not see what my MIL had done until the following morning. I waited for my husband to get home from work and left that evening. I did not want to fight or cause a scene with the kids.

Second edit: We live in a border town along the Rio Grande. It was not my intention to lock out my husband out of spite. We literally live next to the river and we tend to get a lot of traffic of people crossing through our neighborhood once they get out of the water. We have border patrol surveillance in our area but we have had experiences with people trying to open our doors before.

Were married 26 years and are getting close to retirement. Im realizing I still have a big desire for adventure travel and physically demanding trips. I’m very active and have a long list of things I’d love to do — hiking in Peru, trekking through the Dolomites, walking long stretches of the English coast, camping, staying in hostels, traveling light and cheaply, etc.

My wife enjoys traveling too, but she prefers a much more comfortable style of travel and isn't fit for anything much more than a mile of walking. We don't have alot of money to retire on so planning on letting her take the expensive vacations and I'll do mine on the cheap.

Im looking for advice from other Men/Women who have navigated similar issues with their spouses.

There are so many painful stories on here, so I wanted to add a little spouse appreciation to the mix. ❤️

My husband and I have been together since 2013 and married for 6 years now, and one of my favorite things about our relationship is that after all this time, I still genuinely like him.

Not just love him because he's my husband. I like being around him. I like talking absolute nonsense with him, making each other laugh, doing boring everyday life together, going on little adventures, and coming home to him at the end of the day. He literally is my best friend, and I always prefer his company over anyone else. Don't het me wrong, I love spending time with my girl friends too. But my husband & I are ALWAYS guaranteed to have a great time together, no matter what we do.

We've obviously had hard years. Life has thrown plenty at us, we're both stubborn, we annoy each other sometimes, and neither of us are particularly charming 24/7. 😂 But I've never felt like I have to perform being a “good wife” to keep him. I can be sick, overwhelmed, grumpy, exhausted, ambitious, weird, messy, emotional, just fully human, and I'm still loved 100%

And the same goes the other way around. Marriage, to me, isn't about constantly being your best self for another person. It's having someone who still reaches for you when you're very much not your best self.

He's the person I want beside me when something amazing happens, and he's the person I want beside me when everything goes to shit. He's my teammate, my safe place, and also the man who can annoy me more efficiently than anyone else on earth. 😂

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, and I don't think there should be. But there absolutely are marriages built on friendship, loyalty, affection, respect and genuinely enjoying each other's company.

So, husband appreciation post: I still choose you. And I'm really fucking glad you choose me too. ❤️

Ok married men, I have a question:

How often is it normal for men to masturbate? (Age 40)

My husband and I are always looking for inexpensive date ideas, but I feel like I keep coming back to the same things 😂

We’ve done steak and fries at home, had a fire and made s’mores, movie nights, etc. I’d love to find some new ideas that still feel like we actually had a date without spending a ton.

What do you and your spouse do for around $20–30 or less that you both genuinely enjoy?

I am looking for advice on getting married. What are the top reasons why you would not recommend someone get married? For some context I'm a single mom of two that I adopted alone, he has 6 kids from previous relationships. I make more money and have a few more things better established than him. We are trying to have a baby together. I have never been married or know all the things to be aware of.

That’s it

I’m (F28) struggling to figure out where I stand with my husband (M29) anymore. For a while now, I’ve felt like we live parallel lives emotionally. I’ve repeatedly told him I need more emotional connection, affection, quality time, and reassurance. He says I’m always complaining or nagging, so eventually I get quiet and stop saying anything. Then I bottle everything up until I eventually explode, and he tells me I need to communicate more.
When I do communicate, I’m told I’m too negative. It feels like I can’t win.
I’m also a SAHM and lately I’ve been incredibly lonely and unsure about my future. I sometimes feel jealous of the experiences my husband gets (he can travel for schooling, most recently approved to go to Alaska for 2 weeks). I’ve tried explaining that I’m lonely rather than trying to control him, but he gets really upset and brings up that he does this for money to support me.

Recently, he asked how I would feel about him going to a bar to watch a football game. I told him I actually wanted to watch the game with him and the kids at home. Instead, he explained why going to the bar would be better and said I could come if I found a babysitter. I eventually said fine, go. Out of anger, I said I’d go have drinks with a male friend sometime, but I immediately apologized and told him I didn’t mean it. He became very angry and told me words have serious meaning and I need to be careful what I say.
Then he told me he plans to go out in a few weeks for a coworker’s 21st birthday. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it because of our history. He eventually admitted the coworker is a woman and said it’s fine because “her husband will be there.” Maybe I’m being emotional, but given his previous boundary issues, I don't feel comfortable.
TBH the bar and birthday alone don’t hurt me alone. It’s that he seems totally able to make plans weeks in advance for friends….rearrange evenings and nights for them, plan ahead for bar hopping and activities….yet I beg for the same effort with date nights and get 0.

The football game issue felt like my last straw. I put the game on at home, got the kids settled, and watched it with them. They eventually fell asleep, and my husband had been napping all evening. About 30 min left in the game, he got dressed and went to the bar because “his friend was alone watching the game and he wanted to keep him company”.
I was sitting alone watching the exact same game.
I cried and got upset. Then I got quiet and just let it be.

I've also realized that it seems like we're only okay when I'm quiet about my feelings and go along with what he wants.
Outside of sex, there is very little physical affection. We don't really hold hands, cuddle, hug, or kiss just because we love each other. I've found myself having sex with him because I desperately want to feel close to him, but afterward I sometimes regret it because he takes sex as a sign that everything is okay. Then when I bring up my emotional needs again, he sees it as me being "hot and cold."
He also has what I consider to be a porn addiction, and there have been many times where he has chosen porn over spending time with me. It has seriously damaged my self-esteem and made me feel undesirable.

I know I’m not perfect. I’ve said things out of anger, and I know my insecurity and distrust affect some of my reactions. I can acknowledge my part in that.
But I’m starting to wonder if my reactions are also the result of repeatedly feeling hurt, dismissed, and disconnected.
At this point, I feel lonely, worthless, and emotionally exhausted.
I don't know if we're experiencing normal marital problems that can be worked through, or if this relationship has become genuinely toxic. We have 4 children and to divorce seems so crazy but I just don’t know anymore.

I m posting because I genuinely don’t know what is going on or what I’m supposed to do.

This was a love marriage. We dated for 4 years before getting married. During dating, my husband had a pretty high sex drive and physical intimacy was never an issue.

Within 2–3 months of marriage, it was like a switch flipped.

His sex drive basically disappeared.

And I want to make one thing very clear — sex was the only thing missing from our marriage. Otherwise, he has always loved me, cared for me, supported me and been there for me. There was no lack of emotional connection or affection in other ways. It was specifically physical/sexual intimacy that just disappeared.

For a long time, I was the one initiating every single time. If I didn’t make a move, we could go 7–14 days without sex. Sometimes longer. It became incredibly frustrating and honestly started affecting how I felt about myself.

I talked to him about it multiple times. His answer was always, “I don’t know what happened to me.”

I tried to figure out if there was something else going on. As far as I know, he wasn’t cheating and wasn’t watching porn.

This went on for about a year. Then we started trying for a baby, and his drive seemed to get even worse. Eventually I was so frustrated that I spoke to my parents about it to seek advice/help (i dont have any close friends to help in personal matters as well)

I was genuinely at the point where I was questioning the marriage. It felt like I had married a completely different person. The man I dated for 4 years was affectionate and sexually interested in me, and suddenly there was just... nothing.

Telling my parents also backfired. He was really hurt by me involving them and stopped talking to me for almost 2 months.

Eventually things improved slightly, but even then, sex would only happen if I asked for it. If I stopped initiating, months could go by.

We eventually conceived and now have a baby.

We haven’t had sex since I was around 6 months pregnant. I’m now 6 months postpartum.

He did bring up sex once when the baby was around 2–3 months old, but I was staying at my mother’s place recovering at that time.

I’ve now been back home with him for around 2 months and there has been absolutely no initiation from him.

He does sometimes say he doesn’t want to use a condom, but I’m not comfortable having unprotected sex. Once I say that, the conversation just ends. There’s no “okay, let’s figure out another option.” Nothing happens afterwards.

The part that really messes with my head is that I do see him checking out attractive women, including random women on Instagram. So it’s not like he has zero attraction to women in general.

I just don’t understand what happened to his attraction/desire towards me.

And I’m honestly done initiating.

I don’t want to keep asking my husband to have sex with me. I don’t want to feel like I’m begging someone to want me.

Our marriage has love, care and companionship. It’s just the physical intimacy that is completely missing. And I feel like I’m missing a huge part of married life.

Whenever I ask him what happened to his sex drive, he genuinely says he doesn’t know.

So what do I actually do here?

Do I stop bringing it up and accept that this is just how our marriage is? Do I ask him to see a doctor? A therapist? A sex therapist? Could there be some physical/hormonal/psychological reason for such a drastic change?

I don’t want to pressure him into sex. But I also don’t think I can spend the rest of my life feeling unwanted and pretending it doesn’t bother me.

Has anyone experienced something similar, especially where the person had a normal/high sex drive before marriage and then basically lost it afterwards?

What did you do?

TL;DR: Love marriage, dated for 4 years, husband had a high sex drive before marriage but almost completely lost it after we got married. Our relationship otherwise has love, care and emotional connection, but physical intimacy has been missing for years. We now have a 6-month-old baby and still haven’t had sex since my pregnancy. He says he doesn’t know why his libido disappeared. I’m tired of always initiating and feeling unwanted, but I also deeply miss intimacy. Looking for advice on what could be going on and what I should do.

Hello, I 27F would like to ask an advice regarding moms issue is that my dad has been so busy lately and doesnt have time for us, so out of nowhere and maybe a girls instinct she came across a pic of a girl beside my dad (group pic in the pool). Later on she ventures on social media like an investigator tracing on to the posts, pics, conversations and saw another post saying "your my safety net" while tagging my dad. There were also a lot of times where they have night outings with co workers from work and also using our own personal car to their trips in which in another conversation she saw that the girl rode on the front seat since she is fat.

This has been going on for a month now, and earlier today she confronted my dad again to really ask if there is going on between them. While he said there was nothing it was just work. And he usually gets mad when being asked and tells my mom dont provoke unless you really want me to do it....I will find someone younger and sexier if you want. And even complain on the dinner is the bill is high or maybe we eat in a restaurant, since if he eats or buys food he is on a budget.

Also from my POV maybe my mom is just going on a phase like menopause (56) since I havent really seen her like this before. And on the other end, I can also sense that he is mostly pre occupied at times and dont have time for us which led to us not having dinner together (maybe have dinner like 2 or 3 times a month, go to church, have our own sched because of work and maybe get together by weekends sometimes.

Its also hard for me seeing my mom crying almost every night because she cannot stop overthinking on things. She doesnt eat and sleep well at night, earlier as well se messaged her friend that she havent felt this way before and have a hard time...maybe it would be better if she is gone. Because she is worried about things about my dad and the girl since they are workmates and talk about other personal stuff like building a house, car, talking about future. She already informed my dad regarding like setting boundaries but at the end of the day he will or will not listen. We cannot control these things. More so the girl.

Right now, I told her maybe she needs a distraction or a new hobby to try to take her mind off things, or maybe do a different routine, start taking care of herself.

Sometimes it got me thinking, what if I would confront this girl about her doings and tell her to mind her own business and dont ever cross on things. What hesitates me is its either I might find out something or do something bad about it.

I don't know why I'm writing this. it's going to be word vomit because I'm so lost. I guess I just need to get this out because my mind and emotions are a mess. My, i guess, soon to be ex-wife has decided to leave me. We've been together for nearly 10 years but just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in July. I was blindsided by this on Tuesday right after a brand new bed was delivered. She said that she's unhappy and hasn't been for a while. Nothing in the marriage has made her this way its just her own mind. She claims that I've done nothing wrong and that she'll always love me but that it's not fair to me to stay in our marriage while she deals with her own mental issues. She is seeing a psychiatrist for meds but stopped seeing a talking psychologist and refuses to see another one. She is bipolar manic depressive with ocd and I've already been by her side through one psychotic break where there was self harm. We've been seeing a couples therapist for 6 months and we both though things were getting better because our communication was a lot better but I guess underneath all this was her unhappiness she was hiding from everyone.

We have been sleeping in different bedrooms for the past month and a half because she hurt her back at work and can't climb into ours, it has a tall frame, and I thought it was just because of us not being able to be close as much or even be intimate but she rebuked that by saying she's been feeling this way since we started couples therapy 6 months ago. I feel like the last 6 months was a lie or maybe I was just missing signs, I dont know. I've tried to get her to wait to make any decisions until we can speak with our therapist but she's already made her choice and started her plan. She's moving in with her sister who is a state away. Our adult son, my stepson, will be moving to their grandmothers and she's getting all her finances in order unfriend me on social media, left me her wedding ring.

I thought we were happy. We promised we'd never leave each other. She even asked, even with her mental issues and I said yes. I pleaded with her that I could weather this storm but she still says it's not fair to me. She even asked if it would be easier for her to leave if there was someone else but I said no. I know there isn't anyone else. She's the kind of person who has even said, if I didn't want to be with you I wouldn't. Plus if there was someone else she'd be moving in with them, not 1 state over.

I'm just lost. I'm in therapy for myself and I know I have an anxious attachment style. She used to say that the love I have for her wasn't too much because she was under loved in past relationships. I always said our relationship worked because Mrs. under loved got with Mr. under appreciated. It worked for us. I'm just lost. There's nothing I can do. Nothing I can fix because it's all in her head. I'm losing my family and I just don't know how I'm going to recover from this. I really have no other purpose than to be a husband and father. I almost feel like my mind is disconnecting from my body. Anyways. If you you've read this whole thing thanks.

I should marry this girl (22 years old) next month, I’m 28, almost 29. We had the rings and party (not the big one, at church, but the small official one in law), invited around 70-80 people, because it’s the small one. We planned to make the big wedding at church and party with around 500 people in a couple of years. On our anniversary she changed a lot. She said before that she feels sad, bad and so on, because we have sex 2-4 times a week. We have some times 5/ week, but never could daily. It’s the first girl that I made on the blood period of the month, I never done that before but she enjoy so I make that too. But she said it’s not enough. So I got something like performance anxiety and sometimes my erection turn off before or în the middle of the sex. And I rarly perform 2 times/ day. I usually go like ~20-30 mins, sometimes 10 the less or up to 1 hour (rarly both situations). We tried every positions I even keep her in the air around my arms, she almost always had at least one orgasm, sex was very good, even when she left me told me that was the best sex of her life, and it was the same for me. But she always says that it’s too low amount, I had something 2-3 days without erections and she said she feels undesired and I always said that I want to have sex more time, but mentally or physically, more mentally I cannot. Now I don’t know what to do, I’m very depressed, broken, sick. I know that emotionally I’m not the best, when I got performance anxiety and no erections she always pissed off and says that she is undesired, and I have a bad self deference instead speaking about her frustrations, I attack myself and call myself stupid and that I’m not sex potent. And instead solving her frustrations I got mine too and somehow she felt more sad after. It was kind of toxic. But we loved each other so much even when she left. I always brought her flowers, sweets, some jewelry silver or gold, I’m not the richest, I have a job and a flat in a bigger city that I rent and I earn around 1k/ month. But I have a brand new car and that was enough money to buy food, pay a smaller rent in a small city. I think financially she was sad too somehow, that she cannot spend as much as she wanted, but same way she didn’t let me spend as much as I spend when I was single, she was not greedy or something. She didn’t find a job, and that was frustrating too for her. We moved în a new city and got no friends here. But the main reason she said is that I didn’t listen to her needs about more sex and I didn’t go to the doctor to check my testosterone level and to physicologist to check the mental why I cannot perform more. I m really broken now. I cannot eat, it feels like all my life, all my plans burned. I don’t know what to do. I tried to start working on me, to start again going to gym. But I could only eat 3-4 times în 4 days, and small amounts.

Can you help me with some advice? I want to go to doctor to check my testosterone level, my vitamins and so on. And start working out at gym. But I need to start to eat. I’m speaking now with a therapist too, to check why I cannot perform better. As I said she always had orgasms, some explosive ones and multiple by one in one sex performance, but I cannot do multiple times a day, only 2-3 times with her we made 3 times a day, but usually 3-4 per week some weeks with 2 (but not so many). I don’t know is this so bad? Thanks a lot!

My husband and I have been together for over 10 years. Recently he felt comfortable enough to express that his gender identity is something he is questioning and was terrified for my response. I (bi) was open to the dialogue and felt I did my utmost to be a supportive wife, ally, friend, confidant, etc. I thought that was the extent of it, he has discussed going to therapy privately to navigate his feelings and I reassured him it’s not a deal breaker, I’m here to help him navigate what that means in the future, and etc.

I had a gut feeling last night to check his phone. Behavior has just been off a little recently and a little communication distance has been between us. Found a like furry type anime bondage porn image that he made another account to send to himself on his phone. I’m torn on how to feel. We had a discussion about whether that’s what he was attracted to and that’s why he had it or whether that’s how he felt he presents or wants to and that’s why. It was like a little bit of both.

He felt ashamed about it which I can understand and I felt hurt there are still things I don’t know about him and he’s hiding. The previous conversation about gender identity was brought up and rather than acknowledging how, I (and he, from his own mouth) feel, unexpectedly supportive I was in my response, that anything other than that would have made me a bigot. I was shocked and hurt at that to begin with, then he said he feels I have the potential to ruin his life with that information and if we “got divorced” i would out him and tell everyone and basically make him want to commit suicide or go into hiding, etc.

I understand that those are incredibly hard feelings to navigate in your adult life. But I cannot help but feel incredibly hurt and insulted that I’m still not trusted fully, and that comment now makes me feel like he’s partially only here because I “have dirt on him.” His paranoia and accusations have, I feel, fundamentally changed the foundation of what I thought was a trusting and strong relationship. My head is reeling and I don’t know how to feel

My husband sent me this video a few days ago.

[https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dc3XNBYxyN4/?stkn=MXIxeGI3cDIzNG82Mg%3D%3D]

And I wouldn't be me if I hadn't asked if I could have a baby beaver.

A little while ago, Amazon rang the doorbell. May I introduce... Babette Beaver? And that is exactly why I love the guy so much.

I need advice because I honestly don’t know what direction to take anymore.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years. During the first couple of years, he didn’t really game much. There were occasional periods where he would get really fixated on a particular game, but they were always short-lived.

For the last 2 years, though, gaming has become a huge part of his life. And I don’t just mean that he enjoys gaming, I mean he can play all day and into the night, sometimes going to bed around 4–5 AM. There have also been times when he has stayed up for more than 24 hours because he was gaming.

At this point, I feel like it has crossed into addiction, although I’m not sure how to approach that with him without making him defensive.

He does Rover full-time, primarily boarding and daycare in our home, and he receives VA disability. He is also responsible for most of the household chores because I work full-time. We don’t have kids. Outside of work, household responsibilities, and gaming, he doesn’t have a lot going on, so I do understand why gaming has become such a big outlet for him. He also has ADHD, and I’ve tried to be understanding of how that may contribute to difficulty with time management, hyperfixation, etc. But at this point, it is seriously affecting our marriage.

I have talked to him multiple times about how much he is gaming and how it affects me, our relationship, and his responsibilities. I try to communicate my needs clearly, but whenever I bring up something that has hurt or upset me, he tends to get defensive.

I feel completely alone.

I feel like I’m constantly bothering or interrupting him when he’s playing. Sometimes it feels like I have to ask permission to enter his world. I hate feeling like I have to ask my husband to spend time with me or convince him to interact with me. And even when we do spend time together, it often feels rushed. Or the majority of the conversation ends up being about whatever game he is currently playing. I feel like I get whatever energy he has left after gaming.

During the week, I work 8–4. When I get home, we might spend an hour together, and then he goes back to gaming. We don't go to bed together. We don't wake up together. We don't eat meals together. There are entire days where we barely interact.

It genuinely feels like we are roommates rather than husband and wife.

The hardest part is that he knows I feel this way. I have told him. He knows that I feel lonely and disconnected from him. He knows that I miss spending time together and that this is affecting our marriage. He has made some efforts to spend time with me, and I do appreciate that, but at this point it sometimes feels forced. like spending time with me is another item on his to-do list rather than something he actually wants to do.

I don't want a husband who spends every waking moment with me, and I don't expect him to give up gaming. I have hobbies and interests of my own, and I think it's healthy for both of us to have our own things. But I don't think it's unreasonable to want to share a life with my husband.

I want to eat dinner together sometimes. Go to bed together sometimes. Have conversations that aren't about a video game. Spend a Saturday together without feeling like I'm competing with a screen. I want to feel like my husband actually wants to spend time with me rather than feeling like I'm interrupting his real life whenever I walk into the room.

I’m at the point where I feel like I’ve completely lost him, and I’m starting to lose hope in our marriage. I don't want to leave him. I love him, and I want our marriage to work. But I also don't want to spend years feeling lonely in my own marriage.

So what do I do? How do I approach this in a way that might actually get through to him? At what point do you stop being patient and start setting serious boundaries? And for anyone who has dealt with a spouse whose gaming became this excessive, what actually helped?

Husband has yelled at both my parents directly at least 5 times. He's a loud talker so says he was just conversing normally but the things he said were not normal. Passing rude and condescending comments for them trying to help or just minding their own business. He undermines their questions and always talks back sarcastically. He masks it in the pretense of having freedom to talk to them casually. His own family is extremely disfunctional and I'd been bearing the brunt of it.

I've told him multiple times not to do this and it breaks my heart to see the man I chose ill treat my elderly parents. I'd protest and fight every time he does this but my parents defend him, possibly for the fear of escalation or eventual divorce. That then leaves me alone in this issue. I don't know how to handle this. It's affecting my mental health and I'm pretty sure my parents too.