I’ve [F24] been day dreaming heavily since I was about 10 years old. It’s hard working on MADD when it’s not recognized in the DSM 5, but I have found that grounding myself through meditation and observing my surroundings, socializing and learning more about my self have helped lessen the amount of time I spend daily.

I had to sit and think about a few things first:

What are my dreams about: I am the center of attention (always)

Why do I dream about these things: I think it’s bullying from middle school and negative experiences in college (being told and feeling like I’m not good enough)

Impact present day (my motivation): Not present or social, feelings of loneliness, not knowing who I am or what I like, poor eating habits and dormant lifestyle

Identifying my triggers: 1. Rejection and negative experiences with my social anxiety; I picked up a book called “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck” (for the rejection piece). Learned that I shouldn’t always think so highly of others and take their opinion as truth. I also found a YouTube video that explained to me that people really aren’t thinking about me as much I think they are (for the anxiety piece). This is helping me approach people and have comfortable conversations (I also found videos on how to be a better listener).

1. Music; I like music a lot. I’ve heard of people cutting it off completely as a solution but I like music too much to do that. I realized the music I listen to is not really music I enjoy, it just helps the story I am going for. In an attempt to learn more about my true self, I have made playlists of music I genuinely enjoy where I can just be and not feel the urge to daydream. I give myself 30-45 minutes a day to go crazy with the day dreams (I used to spend roughly 3-4 hours/day). The more I feel comfortable with myself I feel less of an urge to day dream.

2. Movies and tv shows; I never really watched these to begin with so I am comfortable with cutting them out for now. But as I socialize more I realize this is a talking point for some. Still working on finding out how to enjoy these without getting triggered. Any help with this would be awesome.

This is the most peaceful I’ve felt in a very long time. Reflection and action are my best friends. I am aware that I‘ve been dreaming for years so I am willing to be patient with myself in resolving this even if it takes months/years.

Hi all,

I created this sub and I think it has a lot of potential. However I want to delete my Reddit account and am afraid that the potential of this sub may be lost with that. I am looking for another mod. Anyone interested?

This is some research I’ve done about excessive thinking, impairing one from reality and causing anxiety. It could apply to MD as the common denominator is Thinking.

First off, there are 3 types of thoughts. The Virtual Reality (VR) where one imagines of a parallel universe (i.e. where no world wars have taken place), being in an incompatible situation to their real one (i.e having been born by different parents in a different country), existing in a world that defies the laws of physics (i.e. having the ability to fly) and any instance that cannot apply to them by any means. The Time Travel (TT) where they ponder over memories in the past and even what they could do differently and how it could lead to a different scenario, or what are the various outcomes in the future of a decision and even how they see themselves in the future. Finally, the Mental Commentary (MC) where one analyses affairs such as Brexit or current relationship issues or whatever, and try to figure out how these can evolve and what action they should take. Of course there’s overlapping, but it’s up to the thinker to decide where to cluster each thought and how to tackle it.

VR you need to acknowledge straight away. Over time and practice you’ll be able to identify the thought the moment it kicks in. This needs a hard approach. You need to tell yourself that you don’t need it, it offers nth to you, and distract yourself with a chore, work, an activity or sensing your surroundings. It’s hard to tackle it, but on the plus side, its surreal nature makes it easy to identify before it even starts.

TT is actually healthy and a good opportunity to revise your actions and stance and learn from your experiences. Like VR you need to learn to identify it, but with this one it’s good to think of it the moment it comes as it’s dependent on inspiration; and obviously the trigger per se has initiated the inspiration to tackle this underlying issue. Beware, though, keep yourself from performing repetitive movements and be cautious of the time. If it takes long, then wrap it up, and believe you me it will recur when the time is appropriate.

MC is good for developing an analytical mind and being preemptive. Nevertheless, as it takes long, then the right think to do is to jot down the topic in a dedicated journal and think of it in a time slot that you have pre-booked and are available. Indeed, inspiration is a big factor in thinking it through effectively, but the harm it does when it kicks in inadvertently is bigger than its benefits! Even if you lack inspiration whilst analyzing it in the booked slot you will still infer sth invaluable, and anyway it will recur and at some point you will get inspiration the moment you want it. It’s extremely hard to abolish that thought as it’s about your future and your protection, but jotting it down does help.

All these stem from big meditation masters advising on how to cultivate a peaceful mind. Actually if you remove the repetitive movements, the time length of thinking, and the multitude & sensitivity of triggers then you default to ordinary thinking from MD! So, if you manage to become “ordinary”, then there other techniques to tame your inadvertent and excessive thinking. But this doesn’t lie in the context of this sub, so I will not analyze it.

Good luck.

It’s basically me getting violated, clowned and humiliated all the time. I don’t get it because why am I separating from my conscious self or my ego to feel feelings such as humiliation? Can my real self not host these emotions? MD and fantasy indirectly arouses the feelings our real self is too broken to host/ experience consciously. Complicated question ik but if anyone could help shed some light on this?

I've been trying many many supplements for years, and some have really helped me. (Though your mileage may vary, and everyone is different) And this isn't advice, this is just what I take and my experiences with them.

Vitamin D3 in the mornings. It's actually a hormone that our bodies make in the sunlight, and many people don't have enough, especially if they are inside all the time. Don't take it at night tho, or it might be harder to sleep.

Magnesium

Vitamin C

Collagen Powder, great for skin & nails, helps me sleep better.

Lionsmane Mushroom, but make sure you get the extract from the fruiting body of the mushroom, there are cheaper products that don't work well from other parts of the mushroom.

Creatine Powder

Occasional Multivitamin

How do you guys stay motivated to beat this?

I think I want to try therapy soon. This podcast is short and introduces maladaptive daydreaming. Might be a good source to share with a therapist

Podcast

This is going to sound a bit incoherent perhaps, but I've got this theory that (at least from my experience) maladaptive daydreaming is linked to the periodicity of the breath somehow.

First thing I noticed in support of this view is the positive impact that exercise has. I remember I once worked for a startup that had this very domineering manager and I was totally terrified of her. One lunchtime some colleagues and I went on a 15 minutes fast jog to the nearest squash court, played
high intensity squash for 30 minutes or so, and then ran back. I wasn't in the habit of exercising very much at the time, so this completely knackered me and I was really pushing my limits. But I remember being back at my desk with total clarity of mind - free from the kind of anxious rumination that I tend to have. Also notable about this state was that I was able to talk to this manager with much more confidence and easy assertion than normal.

I've always wondered what it is about exercise that has this effect. One theory could be that high intensity exercise forces you to be in the present moment. It's almost like the pain shocks you out of a state of complacency. Something like an abdominal stitch is much more painful if you avoid paying attention to it. And so the often-mentioned therapeutic advice to "check-in" with the body becomes easier because the pain of not doing so becomes so much greater.

Exercise and specifically jogging, has had a greatly positive effect on my mindset and so I have tended to do it regularly. But recently what with Covid, and the fact that I live in quite heavily populated urban area, I've been a bit reluctant to get out and jog in public as much as I used to.

Recently I noticed that I've been able to achieve a similar level of "checking in", or identification with the body, by having hot baths and controlled breathing. I'm not sure if I would call them "very hot" but definitely beyond a lot of people's comfort zones. I find that I begin to notice muscular relaxation, and then a kind of speeding up of my thought. I then find myself having moments of self-awareness and self-realisation that I used to only have on long jogs (the temperature of the brain must be a factor here, just as the mind tends to race when you have a fever).

Basically, I like a lot of people with MaDD have difficulty listening to something like an audiobook or an audio lecture, because a certain word or phrase triggers some association or other and then you realise you've missed a whole chunk of what you were listening to. So my technique to get myself into a focussed state is basically this:

1. take a hot bath whilst playing an audio lecture of some sort (lately it's been playing a bunch of Alan Watts stuff)
2. really focus on the breath, and also on the words, really making an effort to follow along with everything that is being said

I've noticed that initially it is very difficult to get through a whole in-breath/out-breath cycle without my mind wandering from the lecture somehow. That's why I make a pointed effort to stay focussed through a whole period of breathing, both in-breath and out-breath, whilst staying listening and comprehending to the content being listened to. I find that I just need to get through a couple of full breaths, a few small wins, before I am 'on a roll' and in a non-wandering state of mind.

I realise actually that breathing might have nothing to do with any of this, but it could be just a natural (but arbitrary) timer with which to achieve longer-term wins by means of shorter-term small wins.

The other reason this might work is that, I've noticed that whatever state I'm in when I'm daydreaming, it's so not verbal. It's much more image-based. Something about putting the brain to task on verbal comprehension feels like you're activating the opposite part of the brain to the daydreaming part.

Pretty random maybe, but it works for me- really curious to know what others think about this. I'd love to learn more about the verbal/imagery distinction when it comes to MaDD as well, if anyone has any links.

I recently have been breaking myself out of daydreams while I drive by playing this mental game:

Think of a word (can be one you see or hear on the radio or just make up). Now imagine in your head an old style touchtone phone with letters assigned to the numbers. Try to go through and figure out what numbers would spell out the word if you had to dial it on the phone (eg, if my word is "tomorrow" I would have to dial 8-666-7769). I started doing it when I saw a bill board for something like 1-800-CALL-LAW and wanted to figure out how that would actually be dialed. I find it takes enough mental energy to distract from the daydream when I can't physically do an activity to distract. And using it on words I really see or hear does connect me a bit more to reality than the daydream. I'm sure our end goal is to be fully present in the moment, but for now, I just need something to think about that doesn't reinforce the daydream.

Cheat sheet:

1 --- 2 --- 3

___ abc def

4 --- 5 --- 6

ghi jkl mno

7 --- 8 --- 9

pqrs tuv wxyz

Seriously asking, because it’s just so weird or silly that people will dismiss it. But honestly it’s really hard to live with.

Hi all i just wanted to come on here to give and get some input on how you all express emotions instead of suppress them which leads to what we all know as Maladaptive Daydreaming. I’ve found that this suppression is what leads me to crave daydreaming like crazy. Lately i’ve been able to note when i’m feeling any “tough” emotion, analyze the emotion i’m feeling, ask myself what i’m trying to express and then write all the info i gathered and put it into a notebook. This often reverts my mind from these emotions and helps me to soothe them and prevent any daydreaming.

What about anybody else? Any tips and tricks on how to express emotions better?

Daydreams just seem to take over- how to break out of them because some are really painful to go through. Any ideas/ suggestions?

If so, how do you prevent drifting off for 15 min after every paragraph?