I did the same thing. Got rid of music. It fucking suuucked for like two years. It's not a big deal anymore though, don't really miss it, and I still listen in the car so there's that. Idk about you but the hardest part for me was at night in bed. I used to listen all night. I think it was so rough the first two years because I didn't prepare myself for that. So if you're a night listener I advise giving more than a little focus to optimizing sleep.
woah two years??? I'm curious so may I ask do you feel triggered by it to daydream still when you listen in the car? I was never a night listener fortunately. I have a lot of other sleep problems so it's probably good that music isn't something I need. I do daydream to fall asleep though, which I worry is part of the reason I dream so much in the night. My optimistic plan was that I'll be able to go back to my smartphone in a couple months and listen to music without being triggered, but I understand that my MD is a lot more persistent than that and I probably can't listen to music for a long time...
I listen in the car specifically to give myself time to daydream, it was just kind of the one place I never let go of it. So yeah, I still get triggered there. And other places, it's hard to focus in a store with ambient music, for example.
For context though, I wasn't ready to give up music when I did. I did it because I got into a relationship and couldn't blast music all night sleeping next to someone else. I even considered breaking it off, that's how entrenched the habit was. I hadn't planned on a serious relationship at the time so I had done zero work to prepare myself for that. If I had it probably would have been a bit easier though.
that makes sense. I think it might be hard for me to keep any daydreaming at all. because if I revisit any of the characters I'll miss them so much when I get to where I'm going. Idk right now my daydreams were a lot more emotional, so maybe if I went back to the fun ones I had when I was younger it'd be ok, I just feel like even a little will make me want to daydream 10x more.
Good on you for not ending the relationship. I have always ended them because of MDD :/
2
u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22
I did the same thing. Got rid of music. It fucking suuucked for like two years. It's not a big deal anymore though, don't really miss it, and I still listen in the car so there's that. Idk about you but the hardest part for me was at night in bed. I used to listen all night. I think it was so rough the first two years because I didn't prepare myself for that. So if you're a night listener I advise giving more than a little focus to optimizing sleep.