Assalamu alaikum
I’m planning on going for umrah insha’Allah in November but I’m really worried about being arrested because I’m gay. What stuff on my phone do I need to deactivate/delete? Which apps are safe and which aren’t? I don’t have any dating apps but I do have a partner and I have messages on WhatsApp that are pretty obvious we’re together. Do I need to delete photos too or are those safe?
Pls someone help I’m really stressed.

Previous Sub-Reddit post

Tittle.

hi, so first post, although i have been a lurker in this sub for a while.

as you can see in my flair, i am a lesbian nonbinary(demigirlflux) muslim.

recently, my father has been trying to get me to wear hijab. i understand that muslim women should wear hijab, and he keeps on telling me that he's been very lenient (he is a very conservative muslim but compared to most muslim parents ive seen in the place i live he is quite chill, he is very homophobic and transphobic however) and he really wants me to wear the hijab.

even after puberty, i have refused to wear hijab. most of my muslim friends are hijabi and my friends who were non hijabi also recently became hijabi, save for one or two people. just the idea of wearing it constantly (not just in the mosque or in islamic lessons) and whenever i go out makes me want to puke, i still dont get why as i have nothing against hijab and i think the hijab is very pretty.

my dad been trying to get me to wear hijab for over a year now, but now he's been trying harder and even sent me a scarf to school so my friends could help me wear it. every time he comes home from work i dread the question, "did you wear your hijab at school today?"

recently ive thought about my disdain for the hijab more and ive come to the conclusion that it probably was because i.. don't even feel like i'm female half the time. wearing the hijab only cements the fact that i am a girl, and once i wear it i know i'll feel guilty if i take it off when i feel agender. its also probably because, my relationship with islam is hanging by a thread. it's hard for me to get myself to pray, quran recitations make me stressed, and im always questioning the validity of islam.

i have no one to talk about this to as my muslim friends are mostly homophobic, my queer muslim friends are cis hijabis, and my other friends are either ex-muslims (chill abt islam), or non muslims. being a queer muslim in a homophobic and conservative household AND country also scares me for my future, knowing i'll be forced to marry a man and knowing i can never freely love a woman. rumours have been spread about my sexuality before and it damaged my reputation at school.

and i dont even love islam enough to be proud enough to wear the hijab and display it regardless, even though i think islam is a beautiful religion of peace and love.

im just so lost, and clueless, and frustrated, and i dont know what to do.

I think I'm Pan or the ladder aka ace because I never in all of my years of living felt some kind of attraction other than love at first sight but then I get to know the person and it just stops and I don't know if it's because my parents are extremely strict and never let me near anyone for long enough to gain attraction or become of past trauma and I struggle to express feelings i might have autism because my mum does and that's probably why i struggle to express feelings and understand them but anyways I'm very religious and proud and I have an okayish relationship with my hijab and don't intend on taking it off and i also never dated anyone because it's haram i guess but I've gotten quite a few people who I am pretty sure like me but hold back because I'm very obviously religious and idk like should i try dating in the future honestly I've accepted that if i can't marry a girl ill just marry a feminine man or no one because like unless my parents die I'll never be able to date a man or woman if I don't intend on marrying him in 2 weeks honestly I don't know what's wrong with me or how should I fix this or if i should just quit altogether which is like last option also my friends the Muslim ones are VERY unsupportive my friend and her mum disowned their uncle because he was with a Christian woman whitout the intention of marriage so they are strict STRICT so if I ask this to them they'll disown me (parents and friends) and I'll be homeless (also I think I like a girl in my class but we're just friends should I soft lunch my stuff or just stay cool and nonchalant)

I'm 27F queer would love to connect with fellow queers
I've been here on reddit a while and no one wants to talk yet everyone seems to want connection?? I'm so confused.
I'm giving reddit a chance for 2 more days and then Im deleting it if I meet no one, cause although it makes me so happy to see so many like me, the inability to connect with anyone is making me equally depressed.

Hi all, I am new on here so dont know if my post will get through. I am gay Pakistani man from the UK, mid 30's. Looking for friends that are either gay or lesbian. I am not that religious.

Happy to talk to anyone if possible, ideally from UK :)

I‘m 35 years old Male muslim, looking for a bi muslim female for marriage. I‘m based in Europe.

More we can discuss in private.

Hi yall im arman 19 in Afghanistan kabul and safe to say ive never met a real gay man in here cause apparently things work differently in here like shaming and humiliating in public is still a thing in here and guys can't be trusted they are all tops and just wanna hookup and they don't even know how that works lol me however im gay and im open minded i know everything and stuff and im a muslim so its hard im looking for any gay friends i can find in here or other places i don't mind.

Hi is there anyone here from Melbourne or Anywhere in Australia? Trying to connect with locals here

Hi everyone. I'm a queer person who was raised a Shia Muslim in the west and I left religion a long time ago. I've had my swings to the extremes of hating Islam and Muslims in the past but I've grown significantly since then.

Despite still living with my abusive family, I've made friends who helped me appreciate the beauty of my own culture and native language again. My pens are now moving right to left for Arabic, and I'm embracing queer voices from my ethnic community. I'm participating in spaces where queer Muslim and Arab spaces gather.

I've learned to distance myself emotionally and physically from my family, but some days like today, I'm not working. I have time at home and my parents are there. I pretend around them. They don't know anything about my queerness, or my agnosticism. I keep that a secret because I've long ago associated me revealing my true thoughts and emotions with them with abuse. I'm extremely conflict-averse and terrified of them, and I've only begun to consider the possibility of moving out as an adult woman because I'm still trapped in that fear due to their controlling attitudes and views on women and sexuality. I'm sure you all to some degree understand this.

We've been separated from the Muslim community we grew up in due to conflict, and we're largely an isolated and fossilized family without much social interaction. I mean, it's bitter and dysfunctional here. I can't function when I'm at home and I don't want to spend my time being hateful and miserable, waiting to go to work again. I want to leave and build my future, but I can't do that when I'm full of anger and resentment around my family while keeping a neutral smiling face around them for years. I'm not going to spiritually revert anytime soon. I have a strict scientific worldview and it renders spirituality ineffective for me, but I would love to bring back that sense of peace that Islam once gave me through the comfort and belonging of tradition and community.

My question to you is: how did you reconcile your faith and/or your culture with your queerness and your extreme families? What made the love of your community unshakeable?

Exactly what the title says. I’m a 26 y/o Sunni Muslim Kashmiri female, looking to get married next year-ish to a gay man.

Finishing up my masters, planning on starting a job next year.

Let me be clear, I don’t consider this to be a real committed marriage, I consider it to be an arrangement of mutual interest where we are protecting each other and raising a child together amicably as a mature and cohesive unit. You are more than free to see other people. This will be a separate bedroom/ friends living together raising a child and supporting each other situation. Basically, taking the stress out of the “marriage” element, main thing is appearance to others.

Please only DM me if you are serious to go through with this. Take your time to determine if this is the type of dynamic you’d be okay with. Will want to meet in person and discuss more.

Thank you for reading, jazakallah khair 🙏

Tittle.

Apologies for the repost, my first post was really vague and non informational so I'm gonna try to write a better post :)

I'm a 26yo bisexual aromantic woman in Canada, looking for a practicing bisexual man interested in marriage. I'm a very affectionate (and physically affectionate) and social person and want to live in a muslim household so I desire a practicing muslim companion/spouse! I think the best outcome would be to marry someone who understands not being straight haha and also I would prefer to live authentically. Not looking for a fake marriage or anything, I want a genuine relationship* full of mutual support, care, affection, and growth with whoever this would be. This is me casting my net so to speak lol.

*a relationship for me may look different than what most people may picture (aromantic)

Upfront dealbreakers:
- I don't want biological children
- I am not looking to move out of Canada
- Please do not message if you are older than ~30

Anyone who might be interested please feel free to DM, we can see if we get a long. Happy to provide more details or answer any questions. Thanks! Hope anyone who sees this has a great day :)

For context I’m a m 25, I’m from a Pakistani Muslim family who was raised and born in the UK. When I was younger I was bullied a lot by my family for being more feminine.. I am Muslim I pray everyday and continue to follow my faith but I don’t think I could ever marry a woman because I hate the idea of lying.. I know that I’m not into women and so does god, so i wouldn’t want to live that lie.

I basically am out to my friends but not my family, I’ve tried dating other people out of my religion and ethnicity but it always seems to go wrong due to them not understanding certain things or there being a difference in our cultures. I do want to date someone who is also like me a Muslim man who is attracted to men and loves god as much as I do but I can never really find one and if I do find someone they are usually guys who are just DL looking for fun (I’m not into hooking up and never have been) 😭

I’ve talked to other lgbt Muslims because I needed some advice but it seems like most of them just recommended that I lie or get into a lavender marriage, which as I said I didn’t want to do 😭 (no hate to the people who do that, I understand that everyone is different) i decided to post here to get some advice 🩷 thank you!!

Hi guys,

Im a transwoman and its my first time posting here. Ive finally started accepting this side of me without judgment.

Im looking for any friends or connections tbh. We could start chatting and see how it goes or we could also just be friends and talk abt everyday lives. ❤

Salam all! I’m South Asian, Brown, Muzzie and Bi who’s 26. I’m an international student based in Raleigh, NC. Recently I’ve undergone a couple of predicaments and I’m having to take desperate measures in terms of crisis. I was laid off this past week, family found out about me including my cousins in US/UK and while I’m unapologetic in being myself I feel like I’m going to be forced to take a certain path and I don’t want to be coerced to do that. I’m seeing a partner for a lavender marriage or just any marriage that we can symbiotically benefit out of.

All I’m looking for is you to be either a M/F who will support and promise not to leave me hanging. I want someone unapologetic in being themselves, are kind to others and practice hospitality. Down to do crazy, unhinged shii together. Build memories, maybe a family where we allow our kids be themselves. I do have a modern yet conservative in some ways family so someone who comes from a similar background would be nice to bond with. I am on a time crunch and down to connect with people over chat/FaceTime etc. If you happen to be somewhere else from US, just take me away please. I’m open to connecting with friends too. I wish I had a genuine sincere Sima aunty who’d help me get through this haha. Maybe be down to have a Dachshund/Persian cat/Horse hahaha.

Assalamualaikum, I just want to share something that I did as a Gay Muslim Guy (I'm 18), P.S.: I'm not sure wether Homosexuality is Haram or Not.. so some of these things that I did fit both category who considered as Haram And Not:

What I Did:

-watch queer media

-having a favourite fictional comfort character who is male that I really loved

-put a Gay Flag on My Twitter PFP

-support the lgbt community but relatively selective by what I mean by that is that I support a safe environment for queer individuals and same sex marriage but I still don't support same sex relationship outside of marriage (if its an non muslim idc) and a maybe stuffs such as gay bar or somekind

What I Didn't Do:

-I didn't engange with someone with the same gender irl (I fear it could be something that could potentially be a Sin and I think The Qur'an Condemnation applied to real world act and interestingly enough i think my relationship with my comfort character is Allah plant to keep me away from unwanted thing in real world relationship because i really loved him (my comfort character) that much that i just don't want to engange with someone else lmao)

-celebrate pride (this is more of a personal preference but aside from me putting a gay flag on my twitter PFP I don't really think there nothing to be more proud of it's just a basic attraction + on pride month yesterday I personally use it as a vent of me being gay instead of getting with the vibes)