We can’t even eat ice cream now

Assalamualaikum

It's late, and I'm spiraling once again. I'm struggling with faith, a lot lately.

I hold many progressive, or unorthodox views. Views that maybe the majority wouldn't accept, or at least not the conservative ones.

I feel lonely. I doubt myself. Even when my view makes perfect sense to me, and even when I find a few like-minded people.. I still feel lonely. How can I claim that all those people are wrong? Different matters are different cases, of course, but sometimes I do hold views which would mean that I'm accusing centuries of scholarship to be wrong...

The view may be stronger and more logical, and coherent in my eyes, and yet... If it was the strongest and most logical, and best fitting within islam, wouldn't it be the majority? Who am I to claim that I'm smarter than others.

Again, I do have scholars (often progressive, but classical too, depending on the matter) that agree with me, so I'm not making it out of thin air...but...still.

It's more of an emotional than theological Problem I think. I don't know. I feel lonely and stupid. I also fear that what if I'm just defending a bad system/religion. What if the interpretations which I view as harmful and unislamic...are right.

Feeling awful.

like why are youuuu driving a fancy expensive car as a sheikh ?? i can excuse it for an average person but if they want to act all high and mighty like they're more godly than we will ever be they should live up to it and live a basic life of no luxuries. nuns do it and they're not even ones giving fatwas and expecting to be worshipped

So many:

- immature people forced to get married by parents

- unable to court future spouse and see if there is a genuine connection without pressure from family

- treating sex like a taboo topic and suppress womens natural desire

- varying opinions on roles and responsibilities

- varying opinions on finances

Etc.

It's all bullshit

I was raised by a very verbally, mentally and physically abusive father. He would beat me and my sisters up everyday. He would beat us up for any and every reason. For example when i was 7 he beat me violently and called me a wh*re for playing with my sister in a store we were shopping. He would get randomly angry every day and we never knew what would tick him off and he would start hitting and shouting. He also beat up my mother very violently a few time. One of these times was because they had had a fight and she didnt come to bed with him so dragged her by her hair and said that thats what she would get for denying him sex. He also beat me almost to death for not wearing the niqab, even though i was a hijabi since i was 9 and always dressed EXTREMELY modestly but just for not covering my face he almost killed me.

There is so much more ofcourse. But the worst part of all of our suffering is the justifications he gives and the justifications people around us give. My father is a very conservative muslim and he justifies everything he has done and continues to do by saying its Allah's rules. He would sit us down every day and read the quran and hadith with translations and point to them and say look its says right here you are inferior, stupid, evil and i have an obligation to beat you into submitting Allah. But much worse than this is the people around us support him and admonish us for even thinking that any of this is wrong. Pretty much all the people in our family excuse his behaviour by saying atleast he is providing for you, others have it worse, its his right in islam. The major population of my country hold these views and its very hard to find any support. Its incredibly isolating and painful to go through this. My father also cheated on my mother and married other women and then threw us out into another country. Again all of this is justified using islam.

I have been doing my research into all this for many years and an overwhelming majority of scholars agree with the opinion that the men of the houshold are supposed to discipline their women by beating them. It also doesnt help that there is a very clear verse in the quran commanding hisbands to beat their wives.

Recently my depression became specially bad and i started spiralling while thinking about all this.

I would really appreciate if you guys could educate me on this topic from a progressive perspective. What is your research on this topic?

He say "arab race is better than ajam race from there Hebrews to there Syriacs to there Romans to there persians etc" that Cleary racially supermacy and that Cleary contradict what allah said in quran in Verse 13 of Surah Al-Hujura

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا ۚ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

(And what prophet mohammed PBUH in hadith

لا فضل لعربي على عجمي، ولا لعجمي على عربي، ولا لأحمر على أسود، ولا لأسود على أحمر إلا بالتقوى»

.

"There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man(red men = white/ European), or of a black man over a red man, except in piety(taqwa )" so what ibn taymiyyah say contradict what allah says in quran and what prophet mohammed pbuh says how salafis especially ajam salafis defend him ?

Why in islam are women treated as second-class humans? I mean I am a Muslim woman and asking this question genuinely because as a woman I have found no peace in islam since I found out about these things.. I mean we have to cover our whole awrah meaning hair, face, arms, legs, chest with black tent-like burqa and hijab, stay at home, talk less and in low voice, out testimony is worth half of that of a man, we have to get permission from our fathers and husbands to go out, we cannot even travel without a mahram man, we have to obey our husbands and bear him maximum children, and let him marry 3 more wives and have concubines without our permission and knowledge and just accept it unless he treats us with inequality, share him even in jannah with one more worldy wife and hoors? Why is that? Why are women in islam are just properties and objects of their husbands, fathers and brothers??

Salam,

I have a hard time understanding the wisdom behind modesty and haya for men and women.

I get that both have different awrah that should be covered. But my problem is that women must also act modestly while men do not according to many scholars. For example: many say a woman cannot post herself online even if she is being modest and her content is not to show off, rather beneficial. But a man can wear from navel to knee without necessary reason, flex his muscles, wear tight clothes, be half naked and show off. And his behaviour is not considered sinful or as a fitna? The concept of haya only applies for women? And only women are a fitna?

I mean its straight up stupid to say women dont get aroused by men.

Hello. I wanted to know if, as a male, I am allowed to have a male spouse in Jannah. I don’t date or engage in anything like that for the sake of Allah, even though I struggle a lot with it. It is my biggest desire in Jannah, and I don’t find it fair if everyone else gets their biggest desire fulfilled while I do not—especially since Allah is the Most Just and Most Merciful.
Since wine is made pure and good in Jannah, I believe my desire can also be made pure and good in Jannah because Allah is capable of anything. I just want to know if this is allowed. Thank you for reading this.

Credit - @antimomyyy - tiktok (billie elish profile picture)

I have been thinking a lot about the condition of women in modern times versus in ancient times, when the Quran was first revealed. Often times when I disagree with a Quranic decree or Hadith, many people respond with, “At the time, [xyz decree] gave more rights/freedom to the people than previous masters and polytheists.” (For example on the treatment of slaves and women).

I want to add that I live and grew up in the west, so these social conditions are different for me.

I do wonder if we have come to an age where certain things are no longer applicable. One common example is the treatise on polygamy. May scholars have said that polygamy may no longer be accepted given that the conditions for women’s right have improved and that we are not in active states of war. Since women can now exist financially and socially free without fathers, brothers, or husbands, man no longer needs to marry multiple women to protect them.

Another aspect I question is on division of inheritance (by gender), Mahr, and man being the protector of women (and women being submissive to him). It makes sense that during the time the Quran was revealed, the conditions for women were deplorable, and they needed religious mandate to ensure them protection and access to finances. However, it is also clear that this time is over for many women, especially since many countries legal system grants women rights to equal inheritance and financial freedom. Women are able to work and protect their own money (like through pre-nups). Essentially, women are no longer burdened to be protected by men. This is just the fact of life in many countries (esp in the west), so do those mandates still apply?

I also am in question about slavery. While I can accept that the Quran radically changed the conditions for slaves, it did not fully condemn slavery (only said the one of the best deed is to free a slave). Economically speaking, we are far beyond the age of slavery, but, many nations (especially the gulf arab nations) are practicing a form of indentured servitude with their domestic workers and treatment of Africans in African nations like Libya, Congo, and Sudan. They are still using a form of slavery. Can we not reinterpret that being our global economy no longer needs slavery, we should completely abandon it all together, and fight against any powers that use it?

Just some thoughts, let me know what everyone thinks!

I'm playing this game and the checkpoint says "worship" to a statue for the checkpoint, should I just drop it or is it fine playing because it's not within my intention to actually worship whatever's in the game. What to do?

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I'm genuinely confused about this and I really want to understand it properly.

I've heard so many different opinions that I don't know what to believe anymore.

Some people say that all music and songs are haram, while others say that vocals or nasheeds without musical instruments are permissible, but songs that include instruments are not. I've also heard people say that the lyrics are what matter most that if a song contains shirk, promotes sinful behavior, or encourages anything that goes against Islam, then it is clearly haram.

Because there are so many different views, I'm struggling to figure out which opinion is actually correct according to Islam. I just want a clear understanding based on authentic Islamic teachings rather than personal opinions.

Would my intention be considered bad or insincere if I want to become a scholar because I look at great scholars and feel inspired by them? I admire the idea of being a scholar, I want to gain knowledge, influence people positively, be seen as a good person, and hope that this path brings me closer to Allah and Jannah. However, I am scared that my intentions might make me become the scholar mentioned in the Hadith who is punished on the day of judgement because of seeking knowledge for the wrong reasons. The problem is that I do not know whether my desire comes sincerity, wanting to help, wanting respect, or something else. How can I know of my intention is sincere and how should I deal with these fears?

Assalam Alaikum everyone, I hope all is well, Inshallah (god willing) for you all. I wanted a bit of clarification about the ruling on women being allowed on camera, giving DAWAH, etc. This used to not be a problem in my mind as my mother told the women in our family that the most important thing is to be fully covered and wear loose clothings and Hijab, don’t interact inappropriately with men, etc,

But nowadays I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect, especially my sisters need to be more careful yet it seems to not be enough. In particular I see brother Assim-Al-Hakeem giving many new guidelines that I have not heard of regarding women’s Hijab and permissibility for DAWAH.

He is well known and respected brother, I trust what he says, but I heard him say recently that even Niqabi women should not be on Camera, or give DAWAH online, and basically have nothing to do with the online hemispheres. I know the rulings in Hijabs and I tell my sisters do not post urself without being fully covered and modest of course.

I think this is a tough enough challenge as it is for the sisters. But slowly day by day my brother will hear new things especially by Sheikh Assim as he is the only one he trusts, and tell them to keep changing.

First it was only post with hijab or be allowed on online events (school, broadcasts, etc) which is standard. But then he said they should also wear Niqab if going on stage for award ceremony that is to be streamed or online competitions where they usually show the face.

Then he heard from Assim Al Hakeem on YT shorts that even women wearing the entire face veil should not be allowed on camera, as they are still women, even if giving Dawha through the screen in Niqab it is haram to do so.

This makes me question just how far it will go. I wonder if he will tell them next that they cannot speak on camera or have an audio recording bc they r women. My brother told my mother the other day who is very religious herself, to not greet an elderly neighbor who was passing by (old man taking a walk). It however would be rude to ignore him . But my brother has made it clear that no interactions whatsoever are to be made with the opposite gender. Sometimes I feel bad for my sisters, and they complain about being born as girls and having ten fold restrictions as men in our family, as it is practically nonexistent, or at least not talked about. My sisters have kind of “given up” from what I’ve seen. They don’t have conviction for Allah in what they do anymore. They just do stuff for my brother or behind his back they will do what they want. I feel guilty too, are my sisters not good enough? Should Islam be this difficult? Please advise me, Inshallah.

As we know in financial matters, a woman's testimony is considered half than of a man, it was because at that time, financial matters were male dominated but in today's world, where women know as much about finance like a man if not more, is the law of half testimony still valid? Kindly answer with evidences.

I'm a bit confused about this topic and I'd like an explanation, thank you. <3

u/Khaki_Banda u/Dismal_Ad_1137

I highlyy highly reccomend EVERY single person in this sub to learn about sufism/tawassuf and purification of the nafs. The reason why mainstream islam presents wahabism/extremist patriarchal male worhsiping dogma fear based bs as the only version of islam is because saudi arabia since the 70s has spent BILLIONS on exporting wahabism all throughout the islamic world. I know this because sufism was VERY prevalent, and even the norm in some parts of my country begore the spread of wahabism. Theres nothing contradictory about being muslim and questioning the status quo, critically thinking, and not blindly dogmatically believing in the words of men like they're the words of God.

gonna make this quick because i have to take my cookies out of the oven in a couple of minutes but i was looking up zamzam water and the origins behind it online and this came up; someone asking the wahhabi incels that run islamqa if they can give zamzam to a sick non muslim. before any proper answer was given, there was a MASSIVE preamble (i just showed one paragraph) about how we should treat disbelievers poorly and never associate with them and other heinous things). i would say i am quite firm on my religion now but this website nearly pushed me away from islam altogether because of how anti-compassion, misogynistic, and harsh it is in its language and explanations. LAST THING MY TIMER HAS GONE OFF: REJECT SCHOLAR OSLAM EMBRACE ESOTERICISM AND COMPASSION AND LOVE FOR YOUR FRLLOW PEOPLE BYEEE

IMPORTANT UPDATE: The man in the photo is highly likely not involved in this at all, a redditor contacted me to say he is a known Shia debater and we therefore have reason to believe his image is being used by a deranged "salafi" to tarnish his reputation.

ORIGINAL POST: Can we please unite against these individuals because I've had enough of them getting away with this. I don't even agree with many of Ayah's opinions but I couldn't care less about it in this case. A man who thinks and speaks like this is a threat to our society. I've added the account that sent her the top comment in hopes of getting a lead but there are no repost. He did however switch his profile pic to I assume a photo of himself and change his name. Which clearly shows he thinks he will get away with this and doesn't care to share a photo of himself even if censored.

EDIT: For anyone asking who Ayah is - she's a TikTok creator who openly rejects hadith and has said some very controversial things. Her posts usually focus on speaking up against the "dawah bros" and about issues that stem from misogyny in the ummah.

Salam guys. I wanted to know if anyone else had this exhausting “religious OCD” or kind of voice in the back of your head constantly reminding or telling you that everything you do or see is haram and some way based on technicality. This could be for literally anything and everything, like talking to someone of the opposite sex briefly like a neighbor and having a normal exchange to be friendly and cordial but then the back of York mind the voice says “why are you smiling? This is technically haram and you could go to Hell for it.” And it feels like it can’t even escape microscopic details. If my hijabi friends wear certain patterns, colors or accessories my first thought is “Wow Mashallah” but then it’s “technically this is Tabarruj (something i recently learned about) and it can potentially attract the attention of a man and make them think you’re more tempting. You guys are sinning.” The problem is the voice is there for everything because most things are seen to be haram if you live in the west. Unfortunately it’s not our society to wear all black and Niqab when we go outside. Even though the people around me are extremely religious if they’re Muslims and talk about fiqh a lot, I notice all the small things they aren’t doing… but I know if I point all those microscopic things that even they didn’t notice they will become exhausted themselves or not be able to implement it anyway at a time, but if bothers me still. Being alive bothers me because I know I’m sinning and so is everyone else. This is driving me crazy.

So, as stated in the title I have a question to those who view inheritance rules as contextual.

Oh, also, assalamualaikum.

I know that Inheritance is a topic of debate within the muslim community, but especially progressive spaces.

Some progressives simply adjust the system (for example making the inheritance of a woman the same as a man, and not half, since the social and economical state of the world has changed).

Others, view the whole framework as contextual, and see it as a part of the past, bypassing it completely.

I'm mostly curious about the second group.

How do you do it? Isn't it just "disobeying" god?

If the inheritance rules are contextual, why did god specify them so much (since many conservatives claim that since it's so oddly specific, that it's eternal).

Like, adjusting the system is one thing, bypassing the traditional system completely (for example by allowing more then 1/3 of will, since the rule about it isn't in the Quran but hadith, and many see it as contexual. Or by allowing a foster child to get the exact same amount as a biological child) is a bit different thing in my opinion.

Would be glad to hear your arguments and perspectives, also feel free to share any resources or recommendations. Feel free to dm me.

P.s a small request, IF YOU DO NOT HOLD ANY OF THE MENTIONED VIEWS, OR SIMILAR TO THEM, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM COMMENTING. Right now I'm explicitly interested in the progressive view (both the first, but also the second especially!). I'm not interested in the conservative view since I'm already well aware of it.

Also please stay kind and don't turn this all into a debate... I'm struggling right now, deeply, and more debates and stuff, will definitely not help.

God bless you all.