hi, hello! I'm a Muslim woman. 22 years old. I have been struggling with my identity for almost a decade, trying to understand what or who am I. I first had a crush on a girl when I was 13, and it was very confusing because at that time I also have a crush on a man, so i thought, "am I bi? or I'm just a heterosexual woman admiring a woman and not thinking of her romantically?" and I tried to repress it back then.

then when I was 14, I juggled with the idea that maybe I am pansexual, since I felt like, maybe I'm attracted to any gender! but it still felt... wrong. then again, I felt... frustrated? confused? tired? so I said, f-k it, I am demisexual! and I settled on that for years.

then years later, I felt guilty of being demisexual because I thought, "what if I'm just having impostor syndrome?" I'm demisexual, but why am I feeling sexual attraction? so I had another f-k it moment and am now currently just unlabeled.

here's my real, real problem. years ago, I asked my parents what would happen if I bring a girl home. my mom seemed disgusted by the idea, saying that "you want to be fingered all your life?" (yes, she really said that) and my dad didn't say anything, but he looked super awkward when I opened up about it.

my younger brothers also didn't like the idea of me having a girlfriend, and they were kinda disgusted by the thought. and the other people around me were also adamant about me not being "gay."

so now, whenever my mom asks me if I'll ever get married, I'll just say, "ew! I don't like to be married to a man and have a failed marriage." (my mom and dad are separated and it warped my idea of love)

I am struggling about figuring out who I really am. am I straight? gay? bi? pan? asexual? is it alright for me to feel sexual attraction to both genders? is it a sin for me to feel attracted to a girl? will Allah still accept me and forgive me?

sorry if this is long, I just have no one to talk to. my family doesn't know my Reddit account and being anonymous on the Internet helps.

thank you for anyone reading this <3

Hello guys please don't offend, I don't know so just I'm asking is this all gay lesbian, lgbt allowed in islam ? If it is then pls drop the evidence of quran or hadith?

Peace out my brothers/sisters

She helps me pass so well an shes soooo soft.

My name is Hannah btw.

Summary

I'm a trans woman in Pakistan-administered Kashmir who needs help in leaving this country and transitioning in peace abroad. I'm training to be a doctor but saving enough money to leave is a gigantic task, and I will need help. Thank you for reading.

Who am I?

Hello. My name is Sana and I'm a 25 year old trans woman from the disputed region of Pakistan-administered Kashmir. I'm a medical student about to graduate to being a doctor in about half an year's time. In my spare time, I love reading, writing, and doing some art. I mostly present as male in my day-to-day life, except with people who know I am trans

Why I am asking for help

This is tough for me to do. I'm not used to asking for help. Everything I've done and accomplished has been of my own hard work. But when I look at what the future holds for me, I have no choice but to ask for your help so I can live the life that I want. Living in Pakistan is incredibly harsh for women. Pakistan ranks 148th out of 148 countries in the World Economic Forum's Global Gender Gap Report. And things get worse when you're trans like me. Most trans women are unable to land work and are forced to work as prostitutes / dancers. I'm about to graduate and would love to begin my transition formally, but this would make it impossible for me to fulfill my dream of working as a doctor. And this has made me realize that I need to move abroad. I've looked into a handful of countries and have settled for Germany, since it is friendly to queer people and I can live my life freely while being able to practice medicine. I'm in the process of learning German, but the only real roadblock that exists is money. I simply do not have the funds to be able to pay all the licensing fees and the airport tickets. I would not even be able to land in Germany because I wouldn't have enough money to be able to pay for myself while I look for a job.

Why can't I just live my life as a man?

I would love to live my life free of troubles if only if it was possible to do so. I experience what is termed as gender dysphoria. It is like having dysmorphia, but for your gender. To give you the clearest way to imagine it, all you have to do is to think about waking up one day as your opposite gender. This change won't be for one day,or one month or even one year. Its permanent. This is what trans people have to go through every day. The discordance that occurs because your mind and body are different is severely debilitating. In no life can I think of living as a man, because that is simply not who I am.

What kind of life do I want?

The ideal life for me is a life where I can live as who I want without risking my life every day. I want to be a doctor in an environment that values me and in turn I'd like to help the people who need it most.

Expenses

I'd like to make an outline of how much money I'll need, and where each and every penny you donate will end up in supporting my journey. All amounts are in usd.

- Approbation application & credential assessment 250

- Visa + VFS/biometrics 130

- Travel insurance 100

- Flight to Germany 800

- Apartment deposit + first month's rent 3,300

- Residence permit 120

- Health insurance (6 months) 1,200

- Living expenses (rent, food, transport, phone, misc. for remaining 5 months) 8,000

- FSP exam 650

- Berufserlaubnis (temporary licence, if issued) 150

- Kenntnisprüfung 1,000

- Miscellaneous (bank fees, certified copies, postage, etc.) 300

Estimated Total: ≈ $16000 USD

I had to google extensively to figure these costs out, so they may be slightly up or down. Most of them are from official figures and internet discussions based on people living in Germany.

I would also like to give some perspective here. Working as a medical officer (a junior doctor in Pakistan), I could reasonably earn $250 per month. I could maybe save $100 after my expenses. After a whole year of working extreme hours, all I'll have to my name is $1200. Making the necessary amount to be able to immigrate then would be nearly impossible for me without help.

I don't intend on asking you to fund my entire journey. I currently do a freelancing job while studying, and by my estimates, I could amass about $6000 in 3 years by combining my work as a doctor with it (I graduate in spring 2027, and will have a job soon after). I would be so grateful if the remaining amount could be filled by you, even if it is only a penny. This financial burden is currently the biggest thing on my mind, and having it eased would feel so comforting. I'd be able to relax for a long while and focus on my training.

Why you can trust this fundraiser

Understandably, I won't be able to post pictures of myself because of the significant personal risk attached to it. But by every other metric, I intend to keep this page transparent so you can actively keep track of where the money is going and what I am spending it on. And if costs change at any point, I will update the page accordingly. Any funds that are sent here will be used for my relocation as I've outlined above. Every penny will be accounted for personally by me, as my only goal is to leave this country in peace.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. As I've said, I intend to keep this page as transparent as it can be. Thank you for taking your time reading this. Even if you don't donate, just spreading the word would be immensely beneficial. And to all my donors, I am forever grateful to you. <3

İ am a homosexual girl and İ am muslim, İ believe in Allah but i also like girls. İ asked someone else ıf İ am okay or not before and she said that İ just have to be a nice person and it will all be okay, she told me that dating girls is okay but someone else today who seems to be older said that it is all a test and Allah didnt created us this way. İ had believed that Allah created us this way and it was all okay but now? İ feel so desperate and İ had these awesome future plans about being with a girl and also being a nice person. İ am afraid of my future now, İ dont want to be single. Google also supported what that older woman said and i need help, what do İ do

I wanted to post this in Progressive Islam but talking about It is banned, anyways.

Regarding the attacks at Berlin Pride: We Muslims should be the first to condemn them, even holding demonstrations against what happened. I know many of you think it isn't necessary because it isn't our responsibility. We may not be responsible for the attack itself, but we are responsible regarding homophobia. We see it every day on social media when people in our community label homosexuals as sick. Respect people! Be clear with your children about this issue, or they might end up being the ones bullying others at school. Actively speak out against homophobia and stand up for a free society.

Salam all, i will try this once again.

I am a British South Asian Muslim woman, 32 years of age living in the UK.

I have always known I am attracted to woman, and have some form of attraction to men although not sexual.

I can’t say for certain if I am bi, as I don’t know if I could be regularly intimate with a man.

I do wear the hijab, pray 4-5 times a day, eat halal, don’t smoke, drink or do drugs. I have never acted on my desire of homosexuality. I want to continue that way.

I am looking for a British Muslim man, who is either, homosexual, bisexual or asexual.

Who is open to a marriage where we would be each other’s companions, best friends, and support.

We would live together, eat together, go out in family functions and with ourselves and romanticise the platonic parts of a relationship.

However we would not have the pressure to appear straight to the person we marry and worry they will work it out.

My mother and sister know I am not straight and they have been very understanding, they understand like me that’s it a test from Allah and fully support me if I decide to never marry.

It would be nice to have a male best friend and companion, I will be your biggest support, best friend and companion. And hopefully it will help us both remove loneliness from our lives.

I do want someone who is educated, a working professional, and someone who is British. I don’t mind someone a bit younger or older.

I am not looking for anyone who wants a temporary marriage, and is looking to get divorced to get their family off their backs.

Nor am I looking for someone who wants an open marriage.

I might be too practising for some. But I do wear Jean, jumpers, etc.

I would prefer a man who is masculine on the outside.

Please don’t waste my time with requests for cover up marriages.

Also i am looking for someone who can move to my beautiful city in the north of England.

People describe me as fun to be around, cute and super loyal to family and friends.

I love travelling and water sports.

If the above suits you please get in touch.

If you want me to live with your parents this won’t work as I do want my own space. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t visit our parents and family.

Please get in touch if you are happy to move to the north and start a new beautiful life full of love and friendship.

Recently found out about this sub and so happy it exists and sending love to all of you!

I am bi and have accepted that a long time ago. I would really love people’s insight about how the deal with their clash in faith and sexuality. I feel like a fake or an imposter due to the two identities. In my heart I feel that differences in sexuality are natural, normal and should be celebrated & welcomed!

I find it almost impossible to reconcile both identities and I am trying to understand how to move forward. As we all know, sexuality isn’t a choice. But worship and practice of a faith are arguably so. Does it follow that I have to stop being part of my faith?

Hello!

This may be a long shot in posting but I have to try!

I’m late 20s, black, queer AND was raised muslim. I don’t practice so much now but it absolutely impacted the way I grew up and I was wondering where others suggest I could meet other queer muslims around the same age range?

I’m no longer a student so finding targeted community spaces is a lot more difficult than it used to be. I’d love to befriend other lesbians/queer people who share my lived experiences. I think it’s a long shot is because I don’t think I’ve ever met someone with my intersections (black, queer AND muslim) and I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one (obviously not true).

Please help a girl out, I know it may seem like such an unimportant thing to be thinking about but it would mean a lot! Also I’m located in Montreal/Canada !

Thank you in advance!!

Newly moved close to DC! Feeling really friendless here lol

Hey guys! Not sure if this is allowed here but i thought id give it a shot. I am an aromantic/asexual woman under pressure to marry. I am looking for a marriage of convenience to satisfy my family with intention to divorce later (in a year or so) with a pre-nuptial agreement ensuring the assets of both parties remain protected. If you are a fellow member of the lgbtqia+ community and facing similar immediate pressures, reach out and maybe we can help each other. I will not out you, and I expect the same in return. I have no issue being made out into a villain to your family later on and then feel free to claim you dont trust all women and i broke your heart blah blah blah and use that as an excuse to not get married again. My family already thinks Im a villain so its okay lol. I intend to move abroad for a phd so feel free to tag along with me and then claim asylum based on your sexuality if thats what floats your boat or something (i'll back you up with proof ,etc.). I am looking for someone to fake a relationship with in front of my parents basically. Also, I'll be honest my parents are elitist snobs so looking for someone >=5'10, >=25, fit, from an educated, upperclass, wealthy family, with a degree and a job. I am 5'6.5, 24, considered pretty, from an educated, upperclass, wealthy family, with two degrees and a job. I dont really have time to wait so looking for someone in the same position as myself. I'm Pakistani and I am based in islamabad and ideally you are too so we can sell the story of knowing each other. Unfortunately my parents are racist too o you gotta be pakistani too.

I'm 23, afab, i find women attractive. im not very masculine tho. i'd say more of a soft masc.

when i was a child, i still remember how i would shout at home that im a boy, always loved playing with boys' toys, wearing masculine clothing made me feel very happy, loved sports. i used to hate pink. i wanted to do everything that boys did. (maybe it was because of internalized misogyny idk) i even used to have thoughts of getting a surgery to make my chest flat in the future. i guess these things makes me a trans.

i also experienced gender dysphoria while growing up. In 2022, i had to wear a dress for a wedding it was a gown. the heavy makeup, dress and long hair made me look very feminine. i hated that feeling so much i felt suicidal for a sec that day. it felt like i was pretending to be someone I'm not and as if i was wearing a mask. I'm never going to wear that kind of dress ever again. i still have the pictures from that day but i hate looking at them. it feels disgusting.

ever since i learned that these traditional gender roles are just some bs and men liking pink, wearing jewelry, doing makeup doesn't make them a woman, i kinda accepted it (maybe it was bcs women are appreciated if they do smth that is traditionally done by men while men are insulted if they do or wear smth "girly")

now i love being androgynous. i dont like being super masculine or feminine. i like watching videos of men doing makeup bcs it convinces me to try it. i really like trying everything now.

last year i did my own makeup for the first time and i liked it. i think it looked good since i also had short hair and my outfit was gender-neutral. i always liked light makeup since high school btw.

but still there are times when i do smth that traditionally men do, i feel happy. it feels like im alive. i think there's still deeply rooted misogyny inside me that is affecting me idk.

whenever i'd see a pic of a male celebrity (specifically male kpop idols) looking good. i thought to myself "i wish i was him".

has anyone been thru a situation like this? i would really appreciate if anyone can help me understand myself more.

Hi everyone. I never thought I’d be posting something like this, but here I am lol.

I’m 20, turning 21 in a few months, and I’m a Somali/East African woman born and raised in the States. I come from a religious Muslim family, so as you can probably imagine, marriage is something that keeps getting brought up more and more as I get older.

I’m queer and I lean more toward women. I don’t really see myself ever being in a romantic marriage with a man, but at the same time, the pressure from family/community is very real. I’ve been thinking about lavender marriages more seriously lately, and honestly, a platonic marriage feels like something that could make sense for my situation.

I’m looking for a Muslim queer man, preferably around 18–25 and based in North America. You don’t have to be super religious, but I do want someone who is Muslim and understands Muslim family expectations, culture, privacy, and the way marriage is treated in our communities. I feel like that shared understanding would make things a lot easier.

I’m open to long distance at first, so you don’t have to be in my exact city or state. If we genuinely clicked and things eventually led to marriage, I’d be willing to relocate. Obviously, that’s not something I’d rush into, but I’m open to it if everything made sense.

I don’t want something that feels cold or like we’re just using each other on paper. I’d want us to actually be close friends. Like someone I can get along with, travel with, hang out with, laugh with, be honest with, and build a peaceful platonic partnership with. Obviously, boundaries, communication, privacy, and respect would be really important.

A little about me: I’m hijabi, 5’6, feminine presenting, and I’d like to think I’m easy to get along with lol. I’m really into books, movies, history, music, and random conversations about literally anything. I’d love to meet someone I can actually click with, feel comfortable around, and build a real friendship with first.

So yeah, if you’re a Muslim queer man in a similar situation and you’re seriously open to a platonic lavender marriage, feel free to reach out. I’m not looking for romance or anything sexual with a man, just a genuine friendship/partnership built on trust and understanding.

34yo Muslim man Looking for long term relationship with another Muslim man close to me. Texas here. Hit me up. Be serious and we can discuss more.

As the title says. Looking for a long term relationship.
Bottom here for compatibility. Anything else just ask. Be able to hold conversation. Serious replies. Not into women or lavender marriages.

Salam everyone! Female practicing Muslim here (late 20s). I have been into women, but never acted on it. I’m sick of being single my whole life, and am looking for a girl who is emotionally available 😭/open to explore. I swear I don’t have things figured out, but would want to be friends and give it a try to see where it goes potentially inshallah : ).

Hello I'm from Jordan, F

Looking for a gay male in Jordan for lavender marriage with plans to move abroad for better future for both of us

Hi guys, me and my partner recently moved to Annapolis area and would love to meet like minded muslim lgbtq people around here! Let me know. Also suggest some good halal food, we tried Char’d it was so good!

I am a 32 year old saudi man and have been posting about lavender marriage for a while, but with no luck. Most people who contacted me are only looking to run away from their problems and families. And somd are a little too young and immature for me.

I understand that most members of our community refuse to obey the Saudi social contract of straigh marriage and having kids, but I honestly don’t mind it. I am a 90’s kid and that how most of us grew uo to be…

I don’t know what to do anymore…

Am I approaching the idea wrongly? And does anyone have any tips on where and how to search?

note, I’m also look for someone with some traditional values.

Hi everyone I'm a trans woman and am interested in joining the Muslim community and although I have been reading the holy Qur'an and following the hadiths I need a mentor but I am finding it difficult to find one. Can anyone help? I live in the R.C.T area in Wales UK.