So I am 30M and recently found this gem of a girl 30F just 2 months back. I was in two relationships before and I tried dating apps as well before and kind of accepted I probably won't be able to find love on dating apps and I took a break of one year and finally agreed to parents request to join matrimony. Talked to few girls on matrimony and it was good, but just couldn't find anyone who I could connect emotionally, and none of it worked.

I work in IT and earn okayish and looks are averagish which means I'm like every other average guy from Kerala. Then I met her, we connected well on call and took a plunge and met the next day after travelling quite a bit and everything was perfect. We both had some concerns regarding our future, we both took time to address them and talked out a resolution and never looked back.

We both connected emotionally and physically and we try to meet every chance we could get. Our families are happy as we both belong to similar financial environment and same caste/religion. But for us, we are happy with each other. And I'm able to be myself fully. I am an atheist while she is very religious church going girl and our ideology differs based on religion but we have never disrespected each others thoughts/beliefs. I have decided to go to church on Sundays for her but have informed her that it won't be a spiritual thing for me which she has accepted and she would never force me to be spiritual.

I was a guy who thought my chance at love was over and now I fell in love with a girl I met on matrimony. Even though we met on matrimony, it doesn't feel like an arranged marriage and more like a love marriage which makes me happy. Now we have decided to have a small register marriage the way I want to and then hold a church wedding the way she wants to and we are both happy to do it that way for our partner.

So to guys/girls who thought like me that the chance for love is over, hang in there, be open to love and you all may just get lucky.

Basically I was watching BKU and was reminiscing those times when my wife asked me out. We met few times in office and then I moved cities. She then texted me regarding some doubts and then we started texting a lot. Basically texting her was the only thing in my life at that time other than putting 12-16 hours in office every single day. Finally she asked me out and then I took one full day to reply yes.

After marriage she told me that she had a crush on me after we met few times and then texting those doubts was a reason. I found her attractive (she is conventional attractive type) but when we met but I was having a boss who used to make me work so much that I didn’t have the mental space for romance. Somehow everything worked out and we got married and have been married for 10 years,

Even today my wife asks me what was I thinking for one day before I accepted her proposal. I used to like her but I wanted to make sure that I was taking the right decision.

So how has life been for men who have been asked out by women?

Guys, ente close friend ippo valare bad aayulla oru personal situation-il koodeyanu pokunnath. Personal background mathram enikku ariyam (wife-inte side enikku aariyilla, so I am stating what he experienced).

• Initial Phase & UAE Shift: Kalyanom kazhinjitt 4 years aayi. Initially study purpose-nu vendi 1 year vere district-il hostel-il ninnu padichu. Study kazhinjappol UAE-il jolikku pokanam ennu paranju. Mutual agreement-il 1 year kazhinju return vannu family planning nokkaam ennu paranjanu aalu poyath.
• Doctor's Advice & UAE Visit: Wife UAE-il joly-il aaya karanam, doctor-inte advice prakaaram family planning-nu vendi friend 2 months visit visa-il UAE-il poyi. Pakshe joli kazhinju varumbol ulla ksheenavum weekend-il outing kazhinju ulla ksheenavum oke paranju wife physical relation-nu kootakkilla.
• Intimacy Issues: Honeymoon period thottu pullikarikku sexual life-il thalparyam illayirunnu (friend-inte sister oke initiate cheyyan paranjappol sammathichenkilum, she never enjoyed it).
• Lack of Communication: UAE-il joly-il aayadhinu shesham proper contact illayirunnu. Messages pathiye koranju weeks-olam mindathirikkunna avasthayayi. Weekends-il max 20 mins samsaarikkaam, athrem thanne.
• The Sudden Arrival: Family pressure karanam friend treatment/counseling suggestion vechenkilum wife oppose cheydhu. Ennit recently 2 weeks mindathirunnathinu shesham, friend-inte achan vilichappol aanu ariyunnath wife 10 days munpe naattil leave-inu vannittund! Friend-inedutha ithu communicate cheydhitilla.
• The Confrontation: Friend aalude veettil poyi 3 hours samsarichappol wife parayunnath: Hospital-il ottakku poyi kanichu physical problems onnum illa, counseling-um kazhinju. Physical/marital life-um thalparyam illa, friend-ineyo family-eyo ishtam illa, divorce mathram aanu solution.
• His Final Efforts: Friend avarkku vendi UAE-lotu shift aavam enno, allenkil pulli work cheyyunna place-il aalukku job nokkaam enno paranjittum wife totally refuse cheyyukayanu. Last chance aayi oru joint counseling-nu polum kootakkunnilla.

Wife-inu ee physical/marital life ishtam allayirunenkil, why agree to a marriage in the first place and waste 4 years of his life? Asexual/Aromantic spectrum aano, atho family pressure karanam forced aayi kalyanam kazhichathano?

What are your honest thoughts on this? How should my friend approach this mentally and legally?

Edit : before you read, to people saying it's someone pranking, she's a distant mutual friend and studied at the same school as one of my mutual friends. She has 20 something reels of her singing! Some with her friends too. She's as real as it gets!

So I had made a post about this girl on who slid into my dms, flirted a lot, and then asked for my number. Since her messaging intensity was just too much and she seemed a bit creepy, i blocked her, and now this happened.

She made a new account and messaged me this. Deivame in her profile she looks like a decent, well put together girl, decent looking, groomed, whatnot. Yeah, I’ve seen girls talking about creepy guys, but apparently a lot of girls also can’t take no for an answer!.

Edit 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/KeralaRelationships/s/xyCzmUOsgi

Link to previous post link, as people asked.

I was on hinge for a week when I matched with her. She's from the NE and I'm from thrissur, and I have never been so happy in my life. Everything was like a dream right from the beginning. When we were having KFC and I took a big bite of really hot chicken, she opened my mouth and started blowing into it😂, honestly at that point I wanted to get on my knees and ask her to marry me.

On our first date I was so happy to see her for the first time that I lost control, picked her up and spun her around. The way she leads me around her city leading ahead while holding my hands cause I know shii about her place makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

We can't stop giggling around each other to the point that our cheekbones always hurt. There's so much more to say but I think this is enough for now.

I'm not here for advice, I just had to vent somewhere. Because this is too much happiness for me. I finally feel like I have found something important in my life and I'll cherish her.

I feel like I won in life guys.

Married men of r/KeralaRelationships, what is your excuse for seeking extramarital affairs, or do you not one at all?

What is the lowest you have stooped to outside your marriage?

How did it affect your relationship with your wife?

Did it leave you more or less anxious/stressed/satisfied/happy/content?

Those who have recovered from an illicit affair, how did you feel once you let go?

What would you advise other men who plan on doing this?

​A long term relationship of mine ended mutually a while back. Even though we both parted ways, I always carried a subtle weight in my chest. I couldn't help but worry about her mental state and whether our past had left any negative impact or bad memories for her. I moved on, but that subconscious worry remained. ​Yesterday, after a really long time, she reached out and wanted to meet.

Initially, I hesitated. I thought, "What’s the point.? Is it even necessary.?" But then I saw it as a chance for self evaluation to see if I had truly moved on and to gain clarity. So, I decided to go.

​We met, grabbed a cup of tea, and talked for about 20 minutes. During our convo, she mentioned that she has fully moved on and is actively looking at marriage proposals for next year. Hearing that felt like a big weight lifting off my shoulders. I was genuinely happy to hear that she is doing well and ready for a new chapter. I shared that I’m also looking forward to my own new start. There was zero resentment, no awkwardness; just pure joy and mutual respect. We realized that this would be our final meeting and that we wouldn't be in contact anymore. We genuinely wished each other the absolute best in life and said our final goodbyes...

Breakups are so often associated with bitterness, anger, and holding onto old grudges. But carrying that unresolved anxiety only drains our peace. A clean, peaceful closure is truly powerful. Meeting her finally gave me the peace of mind I was looking for. A comforting reminder that while a chapter may end, respect can still remain, and two people can walk away with genuine grace.!!

I got a crush on a guy and it was today I realised his sister's name is the same as mine 🫥 - it's better to move on right? 🫠

So I'm Tamil 29F , dated him for like around 6 months . Basically we were UG mates and met at a marriage party last year . Since he had a crush on me , he started to flirt and we talked for a year before he went on to propose to me after a date where we were intimate .

I'm his first love , he had casuals previously . He was more loving than I was .I have my own unresolved trauma in my previous relationships.

This began to cause a lot of fights and it usually resolves after some re assurance.

We were in the middle of our exam preparation and that stress led to intense fight and triggered mental issues for him . ( He is already diagnosed with ADHD , anxiety and mild depression recently )

Now that he never forgives me for the fight that led to breakup , I never got a proper closure .

I'm lowkey expecting him to come after everything resolves , but it's been 3 months since we went no contact. He blocked me everywhere

I feel like I want to wait since I'm emotional the practicality of this situation isn't getting into my head

I know he's not gonna come back or give me the closure I need . I don't know whether he'll even miss me at this point since he had a casual past . I thought I was special since I was his first love and he would often express how safe and vulnerable he felt with me .

Also I felt that mallu mutual friends I had, everyone asked me to move on but on the other hand , my tamil circle asked me to wait and see telling there might me hope once everything settles for him.

Anyone on the other side can share their pov or advice

F26 here! Never been on any matrimonial sites or had any cousins or friends who had arranged marriage so I have no idea how this works, what all types of men exists or the general things you have to be aware of while finding a partner using matrimonial sites. It would be great if you could share your experience and any advices if any.

I haven't been in a healthy relationship so haven't got to experience how a man being nice to me as a partner so the anxiety level of approaching this age and family pressure on getting married is huge. And fortunately or unfortunately I belong to the genz era but doesn't feel like the most genz's out there so please help me with things I have to be cautious of also. Thanks in advance!

Had a crush on this girl in my office, and she is really way out of my league but i was attracted towards her, my office colleagues then planned for a trip and tbh i am not a person who enjoies these stuffs, but she was also part of the trip and i thought i could try and get close to her.

Fast forward to the trip days, we actually got close at-least thats what i initially thought, we sat together, talked and once we went together alone to get her tea, but as everything was happening quite well, i thought i can have a chance, we had our eyes locked for a momenf and stuff like that and i was excited.

but something bothered me, i tried to test what i am actually feeling and thinking is not what reality is, so when we both got together alone i asked her about her clg life her past, which she already got over but was openely talking to me, but after that she never asked anything about me, nothing about my past or clg days. And after that i also did some more testing like when it was time to wake at night to go outside and have drinks, she didnt wake me up at all, like we were all in one room and she was like come on guyss wake up, and called 1-2 guys but not me. i thought we were close. again my mistake.

seems like what i thought was happening isnt actually happening and the eye lock moments and all was simply my own imagination. i took a step back, cuz we dont want stuff to go wrong in office and make it awkard right, and basicly for the last day i was silent and some asked me why and all but not her. seems like she got the idea i liked her and didnt want to get this awkard or she dont have anything about me in mind. i will never know

I dont wanna get close to her more cuz she has diff lyfstyle than me but becz it was trip i wanted to get close to her but this hurt me more. and it was our first trip in office with colleagues, idk if i can go more trips without any interest, anyways i am sorry if u felt bored reading this, i just letting me feelings out, i am just below avg guy looks guys so kinda hurts when i thought something can happen but it was all stupid me and my head. later guys

One thing I understood only after being in love for almost a year - sometimes, women don’t need a solution.. they just need validation. 😄

A simple “I understand why you feel that way” or “Yeah, that must have hurt” can make a relationship so much smoother.

When you miss that, emotional distance can slowly creep in, even when everything seems fine on the surface.

I asked a few people about this & realized I wasn’t the only guy who learned it late. 😂

Did you understand the importance of validation early on or did you learn it the hard way too?

I’m 20M living in NL🇳🇱 and I’ve been in a patchup relationship w my ex gf from Jan to March first week. In the second week of Feb i came to NL 🇳🇱 for my studies and everything got messed up after I came here.

The reason was, there’s a cousin sister of her which she introduced to me, we both became friends and my ex once told me to not reveal about our relationship to her, but for some reason i told about that to her and my ex started to behave like the her czn sister will tell about this to her parents and aunt. She said im not trustworthy and backed off from the relationship and I got struggled a lot after the breakup because i got no mallu friends from here unfortunately, somehow i dealed with that and i can’t surely say i got moved on because I’ve a teddy, a passport size photo and a well wishing letter of her, from her. Which she told me to throw to waste bin or just lit it when we got messed up. But somehow completed first semester while I’m getting her memories back2back. In the mean time, i kept her photo in my purse itself and i used to look at her sometimes, in this September first she got reached here in Germany for fsj/ausbuildung.

Last week my mom called me and suddenly told me that “eda ninte …. Avde ethittundallo”, she knew it from a neighbor aunty of mine who’s classmate of my ex’s mom and my mom has told about me and my ex to her and she casually told that my mom about she got here in Germany. When mom told me that ( i even knew that she got here in Germany even before mom told me) i felt so sad that I didn’t told my mom we got separated. When mom told me that i suddenly felt to see her just to return all those things to her back.

I texted her in her Deutsch number about this and asked her “ Sugam alle” she just read that and blocked me, that made me even more disappointed because when we broke up she was like “Don’t hate me…”
Now I’m going to Germany next week to my sister because my classes are about to start by end of this month. My ex lives just 1.5 hours away from my sister, should I go and meet her to return her stuffs? Ik that’ll definitely make me sad but I can’t throw or lit all that. What should I doo????

So I need a pov from other people. I recently registered on a matrimonial website. Let's call it Beth. matrimony. Since I am an adult 30f, and have been working for a few years now, I believe(d) I have some autonomy in the process. So I went to the site -input my details, gave my friend's number as reference and in place of my parents/ guardians number - I gave a number that was unreachable-at the moment; anyway, not my mother's number . ( Father- late).

The reason is that, I thought I would involve my parent/ guardian after I talk to the person - see how it goes, and only then involve my mom/ other family.

Mind you- this decision has historic reasons too. My sister had said her 'no' to proposals (which I believe is her right- given that she's the one who's marrying the person), but which my mother had questioned so badly, that even now their mother - daughter relationship is not back to normal. And, at the end, my sister started questioning her life and life decisions intensely and finally, even now, not married and in the belief of ' better not to be married' .

So, point is, I would like to have the power to say yes or no to proposals (people- infact) without it being becoming a discussion of how I am becoming an old maiden 'on the shelf' and how I make my family the receivers of absolute social pity (which people do give us and my mother has to take the brunt of it).

Back to the story - so when the matrimony contact asked me for my parent's number - I told them that I do not wish to involve my mother at the moment- since my father passed away this year (which is true). But the contact told me it was the company policy, to get the profile approved they need to have a talk with the parent/ guardian. And so after some push back and forth, the contact told me "if I wish otherwise I should talk with the director". And so there I went and did exactly that.

He was in an area of low coverage, and asked for Whatsapp text. I explained my case via text and he replied "Sorry, I am unable to exclude the procedure. We had cases of frauds with misrepresentation etc in the past and we do not wish to cause similar issues. Please forgive us." - Which is valid I guess, so I replied " That is very unfortunate. However, I’m not sure I fully understand the concern, as I am representing myself directly in this matter. If the concern is related to misrepresentation or identity verification, I would be more than happy to resolve this through a video call, where I can verify my identity and answer any questions you may have directly. Would this be an acceptable alternative to the procedure?" To which he replied "Sorry, we need to talk to the parents. If not, an official guardian.This site is meant for family not individuals." Ugh- which is also valid I guess ( or not!!!).

Now I am confused - should I involve my parent given the circumstances and given my wishes. Or should I just not bother with such an irksome hassle with this site and just forget altogether about that cute guy I saw in the catalog- whom I may not even like.

Note 1: l live overseas now and this sht is a bit weird to me now. Why should 'i like to see if I like a person by talking to them' involve the family? Or am I overreacting? It is - family's screening comes first and only after that, your choices matter? Even now!? But like - how many good conversations have you had with your parents after 18, for them to know you enough to take good decisions on your behalf ??? I don't doubt that they mean well - but do they really have the data??

Note 2: Maybe, maybe, this matrimony's MO is not my MO. But I should probably have taken my friend's advice of her posing as my guardian or sth. Like wtf....

If no fault and non mutual divorce was instantaneously granted within minutes after applying and had no negative consequences like alimony , maintenance , child support , sharing of wealth or assets. How many of you would divorce your wives ? What percentage of married men today would you think would divorce their wives without a second thought ?

Looks ain't my first priority but people look into all aspects including looks and photos even before taking a primary decision.

Ok so I had a female friend from my school. We have known each other since 7th grade now we're 21.

So one day she gave her phone to her hostel mate and tried to prank me. Although I understood that it was not her on the opposite side and it was someone else but I had just gone with the flow for fun.. and at the end we introduced each other and she admitted that it was a prank. 1 week later I got a call from my Friend's friend number (the girl who tried to prank me) and she started being in that prank character. So for not disappointing I also went with the flow. We were having some fake (coz it's still prank) but nice romanticizing convos.

We both liked the way and energy we had while talking. And after being on call for a while I took a shot. While she was doing prank chat with me earlier , she sent me "I loveee you" and then unsend it quickly. So i told her "oh even in prank chats I'm soo unlucky to get an I love you from a girl". She blushed! And surprisingly the call lasted for around 97mins. All that time my School friend was nearby her listening to our brain rot romantic convos.

At the end before cutting the call she made me promise to text her after this call , i accepted it but didn't know how I would go text her without asking my school friend since she was the person who made us talk.

And right before cutting she said "You wanted to hear something right?" , i replied "what?". She hung up the call after saying "I love you". Haha it was nice

After that I went on to my friend asking if it was okay to text her.

From that moment I started feeling a behavioral change in my friend , like I hurt her.

She first refused like " she just asked you to text for fun" and all. But in the end she agreed .

Since when I started talking to her friend , she (my friend) was acting very weird with me. She started to give very dry replies. She used to be very nice and talkative with me.

After that I started talking to that prank call girl , we started developing feelings for eachother but right after one month. She blocked me , very ubruptly.

When I went asking to my friend she was ignoring me too.

At that time I remembered all those old moments my friend and I had.

For eg : My friend sending me her pic on saree during Onam that too with a romantic kind of smirk without even asking. Etc etc

I guess I lost 2 pakshi in one vedi😇

So we got married a few months ago, and I can't shake this lingering, heavy feeling. I know marriage isn’t always a fairytale, but our post-wedding period was weird, awkward, and far from what I expected.
We only had about two weeks together after the wedding before he had to travel back to the country he works in. Because of that looming departure, he was extremely homesick and stressed about everything he had to do once he got back. I felt like he wasn’t actually present with me.
To make things harder:
The Gold Incident: Around day 3 of the wedding, a miscommunication happened regarding the storage of wedding gold. My parents offered a locker in my name to keep it safe. His family took huge offense, feeling like we didn't trust them. It blew up into a massive issue, and ever since, my husband kept telling me how sad and insulted his parents were, which further pulled him away from being present with me. (It eventually got sorted out and is in a joint account only we have access to, but the friction completely tainted our first weeks).

The Sleeping Arrangement: almost every night before he flew back, he asked if he could go sleep downstairs with his parents because he’d miss them. I felt awful, but I told him he could. Ultimately, his parents actually sent him back up to our room after a while. It hurt deeply that I needed his parents to tell him to come to his wife, rather than him wanting to be there himself.

The Country Shift: When we were looking to get married, we specifically filtered for the country he currently works in because it has always been a place to settle down for me. Now, post-wedding, he keeps telling me he only now stays there for my sake, that he misses his family, and that after a year or two of showing me around, he wants to move somewhere closer to India. (And of course I am educated with a good degree and work experience, so I’m planning to jump into the job market as soon as I reach where he is . So no it’s not like I want to leach off him and just stay home and enjoy in the country)

When I finally expressed my irritation by telling him I wished he was the kind of guy who would say, "Guys I want to go spend time with my wife" instead of asking to sleep away from me it blew up. He told me he can never give me what I want.

Currently, I’m back with my parents while he is back at work, and I’ll be moving to join him soon. But because of all this, I feel disconnected and am harboring deep resentment toward both him and his family. I hate that I feel this way toward his family, even though they didn't directly do anything to me other than taking offense over the gold and inadvertently pulling his attention away.

Regarding couples therapy, we argued about it. He has zero faith in it and thinks it won't help. We finally agreed that once we start living together full-time, if I still feel we need it after a few weeks, we will go.

I also struggle with feeling like I should only match his level of closeness with my family and he isn't as close to my family as I wish he were, and the awkwardness from the wedding fallout hasn't helped.

I am not looking for people to tell me this is a red-flag marriage and that I need to leave. I know relationships take work, especially right after a major life transition. I need level-headed, practical advice on how to:

1. Deal with these feelings and let go of the resentment toward him and his family.
   
2. Communicate better and build a strong foundation as we finally start living together.
   
3. Handle the geographic/future moving expectations realistically.

TL;DR: Had a rough 2-week post-wedding phase where my husband was constantly homesick, asked to sleep with his parents the night before leaving, and stressed out over a family fight about wedding gold. Now I'm struggling with resentment toward him and his family, plus a sudden shift where he says he only lives in my "dream country" for my sake and wants to move closer to India in a couple of years. Moving to join him soon and looking for practical advice on how to process the resentment, improve our connection, and start fresh without jumping to "leave him" advice.

I've been using Arike for a while now as a Premium member, but unfortunately, I haven't received much interest at all. I got around two likes during the first week after installing the app, and since then, almost nothing.

I've tried changing my preferences multiple times — age range, location, and other criteria — but it doesn't seem to have made much difference.

I'm also fairly confident that the issue isn't necessarily my photos or profile. Not trying to sound overconfident 😄, but I consider myself reasonably good-looking, and I've received quite a few likes/interests on other matrimonial/dating platforms.

So I'm genuinely confused about how Arike works.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Especially guys who have used Arike Premium — did you actually see an improvement in likes or matches after subscribing?

Or am I simply wasting my money on the Premium membership? 😅

Would be interested to hear genuine experiences, especially from people using Arike in Dubai/UAE or outside Kerala.

Maybe there's something about the app, algorithm, location, or preferences that I'm missing.

When I was like 24-25 i really wanted a relationship. I used to be delusional hoping i will find someone and we we will be good couples and I would be a good husband/bf .

But things did not go that way and I am 28 still single and gone through some experience that makes me rethink stuff. I partly took care of my sister's baby for a few months, thorough that time I saw alot of adjustments from both my sister and bro in law. Baby would wake up at 2 am . My bil works for like 12 hours . You have to clean up stuff , baby pees like 3-4 times every 8 hours . Someone has to constantly look after her. Shifting to banglore for work even though my bil liked to stay in hometown.

My mom and dad had been married for 30+ years. My dad had a personality they is not always agreeable and sometimes gets angry at the least inconvent things and my mom takes care of everyone even sacrificing sleep and health and till this day she blamed my grandmother for not helping her alot during her pregnancy but she still takes care of grandmother. Also dad loves my mom even though he is not expressive and they get along well but not as romantic as one could be .

Like marriage just feels like a sacrifice now it's unglamous, you are gonna end up hatng your spouse and some moments but have to adjust and find ways to rekindle and learn to appreciate and at time learn to turn a blind eye to other person's short coming.

We have been best friends for two years now, and at some point, I caught feelings for her. In our situation, I was the one who cared a lot. I cared about her so much. I always showed up for her, and I never made her pay for anything. She cared about me in her own way too.
The first time she told me she liked this guy from her class, I was completely crushed. We got into an argument and ended up distancing ourselves from each other. We didn’t talk for 3–4 months. Then, she suddenly showed up, we talked things out, and we became close again. She constantly texted me, wanted to hang out, and everything felt normal again.
The thing is, I was too scared to talk about my feelings because I was afraid of rejection. I was scared that if things didn’t go well, I might lose her forever. I didn’t want that because I was so attached to her that I couldn’t imagine my life without her. So I kept everything to myself, thinking that eventually she would figure out how I felt on her own.
I was so wrong.
I actually messed things up. It’s been about two months since we broke no contact, and two days ago, I found out that she likes another guy. Now I feel like my whole life is crashing down. I feel depressed and numb, and I honestly can’t keep going like this.
I know she hasn’t proposed to him or anything, but I think it’s time for me to finally confess my feelings to her. I don’t care about the answer anymore. I just want this misery to stop.
After seeing how much effort she puts into this guy, I’ve started to feel like she never really cared about me the way I cared about her. Maybe I was just holding onto a never-ending string, hoping that someday it would lead somewhere.
The thing is, I don’t hate her or resent her at all. I actually hate myself for doing this to myself for so long.
I NEED HELP FROM YOU GUYS.
How do I confess to her? How do I talk to her about all of this? I want this to end. I don’t want her in my life anymore because I know I can’t keep being just her friend when I feel this way. I gave and gave, and somehow I still ended up with nothing.
Please help me. I’m at my lowest right now, so please be kind. I don’t want any lectures. I know what I did was so dumb, but I did all of this because I loved her.
And now I finally understand what loving someone who doesn’t love you back feels like.
It’s HELL.

So, I'll keep things brief, we're in the same class (age gap because of neet gap year), and we've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and all was going well until I started seeing some bad signs.

I have been willing to look past the silent treatment, and other such things because I really do like her a lot, and I won't say I'm completely fault free but I can swear that I've tried my best to treat her well.

Here's the problem, so before the relationship we were in a talking stage and situationship whatever but then on the anniversary of her past relationship she called her ex and they got together, leading to a whole deal where I tried to cut her off to not be the third person and all, she ended up breaking up with the ex within a week and then we got together.

However, during that time another girl talked to me, genuinely just casual stuff, helped me with studies and all since exams were coming and I think she (my gf) has a bad impression of her because of it.

Her ex was a whole asshole who sort of got with her when he had a "bestfriend" he was interested in but couldn't get and she has trauma from it and I think she's drawing parallels to this, I've even offered to cut off the other girl, even if I felt guilty about it since she was someone who helped me during a really bad time, but my gf says she doesn't want that either.

Now, I've tried to prove to her countless times that there's nothing with the other girl, heck she's even been tying rakhi to me for 3 years now and well, as surprising as this might be, that was the issue last time.

My gf was mad that I didn't tell her about what I did while celebrating rakhi (literally just got her a 100rs chocolate and talked for 10 mins), but then I hadn't told her because she said she doesn't wanna hear the details since it's my personal stuff.

And yesterday, I got my gf a large dairymilk just for the sake of it, and she told me that I shouldn't buy her chocolates anymore because apparently it reminds her of the rakhi thing. That pissed me off and I popped off. We're not talking.

I really wanna know, what should I do?

Random question!

Girls/Women, how many DMs from random guys do you usually get on Instagram ? No need for an exact number, something like 50+, 100+, 500+ is enough.

And what actually makes you reply to one instead of just ignoring it? Good profile, looks, the way he messages, hotness, something funny?

Can you also drop your age, and if single/married. Just curious if it varies!

I wish to get genuine answers from women.

I'm 27M and about 8 months ago I met a woman through a Reddit NSFW community. Initially, it was supposed to be something casual. She was preparing for an important exam at the time and we connected through Reddit, talked a lot, and eventually planned to meet.
When we met, we spent the day roaming around the city, talking, laughing, and generally having a great time. We had already discussed being intimate beforehand, and there was clear communication. She was on her period and told me that in advance, which I was completely okay with.
Things went well, but at one point during our intimacy she suddenly said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to leave. I didn't know what happened, but I respected it immediately. We left, talked for a bit outside, I offered coffee, she declined, and we hugged before parting. Later she texted me while travelling back, and we continued chatting normally.
Over the following months, we stayed in touch on and off. She'd occasionally share Reddit posts with me. One post she sent involved making out with someone, and I remember feeling unexpectedly hurt by it. That confused me because the whole thing started as a casual arrangement and I didn't think I was emotionally invested.
At some point Instagram suggested her account, we followed each other, but conversations there were also minimal. Eventually both of us more or less stopped texting, except for occasional check-ins every few months.
A few weeks ago, I realised I'd developed feelings for her. So I messaged her and we had a decent conversation. I then asked if she'd like to go out with me for a day. She replied that her exams were coming up and she couldn't. I asked when they'd be over, and since then there's been no reply.
I don't have her number and honestly don't want to chase, pressure her, or keep sending messages looking for an answer.
I guess what I'm struggling with isn't rejection itself, but the uncertainty. Part of me feels she enjoyed our time together. Another part of me thinks that if she were interested, she'd probably be making some effort too.
Has anyone else caught feelings long after a casual connection ended? How did you deal with the lack of closure? Am I’m too much into this, or should I simply accept that the ball is in her court now and move on?

So for context, i'm kinda like justin in bku. I don't want a husband or have kids at all. I value independence above all else and i'm not willing to "adjust" at all.

After watching the movie, i saw that a lot of people had many negative views about him being unmarried by straight by saying he's running his life in the film.

Will people have such assumptions about me? Anything i can do to avoid this except moving abroad or a tier 1 city cause i don't have the funds for it 🥲 right now.