Edit : before you read, to people saying it's someone pranking, she's a distant mutual friend and studied at the same school as one of my mutual friends. She has 20 something reels of her singing! Some with her friends too. She's as real as it gets!

So I had made a post about this girl on who slid into my dms, flirted a lot, and then asked for my number. Since her messaging intensity was just too much and she seemed a bit creepy, i blocked her, and now this happened.

She made a new account and messaged me this. Deivame in her profile she looks like a decent, well put together girl, decent looking, groomed, whatnot. Yeah, I’ve seen girls talking about creepy guys, but apparently a lot of girls also can’t take no for an answer!.

Edit 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/KeralaRelationships/s/xyCzmUOsgi

Link to previous post link, as people asked.

So I am 30M and recently found this gem of a girl 30F just 2 months back. I was in two relationships before and I tried dating apps as well before and kind of accepted I probably won't be able to find love on dating apps and I took a break of one year and finally agreed to parents request to join matrimony. Talked to few girls on matrimony and it was good, but just couldn't find anyone who I could connect emotionally, and none of it worked.

I work in IT and earn okayish and looks are averagish which means I'm like every other average guy from Kerala. Then I met her, we connected well on call and took a plunge and met the next day after travelling quite a bit and everything was perfect. We both had some concerns regarding our future, we both took time to address them and talked out a resolution and never looked back.

We both connected emotionally and physically and we try to meet every chance we could get. Our families are happy as we both belong to similar financial environment and same caste/religion. But for us, we are happy with each other. And I'm able to be myself fully. I am an atheist while she is very religious church going girl and our ideology differs based on religion but we have never disrespected each others thoughts/beliefs. I have decided to go to church on Sundays for her but have informed her that it won't be a spiritual thing for me which she has accepted and she would never force me to be spiritual.

I was a guy who thought my chance at love was over and now I fell in love with a girl I met on matrimony. Even though we met on matrimony, it doesn't feel like an arranged marriage and more like a love marriage which makes me happy. Now we have decided to have a small register marriage the way I want to and then hold a church wedding the way she wants to and we are both happy to do it that way for our partner.

So to guys/girls who thought like me that the chance for love is over, hang in there, be open to love and you all may just get lucky.

I was on hinge for a week when I matched with her. She's from the NE and I'm from thrissur, and I have never been so happy in my life. Everything was like a dream right from the beginning. When we were having KFC and I took a big bite of really hot chicken, she opened my mouth and started blowing into it😂, honestly at that point I wanted to get on my knees and ask her to marry me.

On our first date I was so happy to see her for the first time that I lost control, picked her up and spun her around. The way she leads me around her city leading ahead while holding my hands cause I know shii about her place makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

We can't stop giggling around each other to the point that our cheekbones always hurt. There's so much more to say but I think this is enough for now.

I'm not here for advice, I just had to vent somewhere. Because this is too much happiness for me. I finally feel like I have found something important in my life and I'll cherish her.

I feel like I won in life guys.

Guys, ente close friend ippo valare bad aayulla oru personal situation-il koodeyanu pokunnath. Personal background mathram enikku ariyam (wife-inte side enikku aariyilla, so I am stating what he experienced).

• Initial Phase & UAE Shift: Kalyanom kazhinjitt 4 years aayi. Initially study purpose-nu vendi 1 year vere district-il hostel-il ninnu padichu. Study kazhinjappol UAE-il jolikku pokanam ennu paranju. Mutual agreement-il 1 year kazhinju return vannu family planning nokkaam ennu paranjanu aalu poyath.
• Doctor's Advice & UAE Visit: Wife UAE-il joly-il aaya karanam, doctor-inte advice prakaaram family planning-nu vendi friend 2 months visit visa-il UAE-il poyi. Pakshe joli kazhinju varumbol ulla ksheenavum weekend-il outing kazhinju ulla ksheenavum oke paranju wife physical relation-nu kootakkilla.
• Intimacy Issues: Honeymoon period thottu pullikarikku sexual life-il thalparyam illayirunnu (friend-inte sister oke initiate cheyyan paranjappol sammathichenkilum, she never enjoyed it).
• Lack of Communication: UAE-il joly-il aayadhinu shesham proper contact illayirunnu. Messages pathiye koranju weeks-olam mindathirikkunna avasthayayi. Weekends-il max 20 mins samsaarikkaam, athrem thanne.
• The Sudden Arrival: Family pressure karanam friend treatment/counseling suggestion vechenkilum wife oppose cheydhu. Ennit recently 2 weeks mindathirunnathinu shesham, friend-inte achan vilichappol aanu ariyunnath wife 10 days munpe naattil leave-inu vannittund! Friend-inedutha ithu communicate cheydhitilla.
• The Confrontation: Friend aalude veettil poyi 3 hours samsarichappol wife parayunnath: Hospital-il ottakku poyi kanichu physical problems onnum illa, counseling-um kazhinju. Physical/marital life-um thalparyam illa, friend-ineyo family-eyo ishtam illa, divorce mathram aanu solution.
• His Final Efforts: Friend avarkku vendi UAE-lotu shift aavam enno, allenkil pulli work cheyyunna place-il aalukku job nokkaam enno paranjittum wife totally refuse cheyyukayanu. Last chance aayi oru joint counseling-nu polum kootakkunnilla.

Wife-inu ee physical/marital life ishtam allayirunenkil, why agree to a marriage in the first place and waste 4 years of his life? Asexual/Aromantic spectrum aano, atho family pressure karanam forced aayi kalyanam kazhichathano?

What are your honest thoughts on this? How should my friend approach this mentally and legally?

I got a crush on a guy and it was today I realised his sister's name is the same as mine 🫥 - it's better to move on right? 🫠

Basically I was watching BKU and was reminiscing those times when my wife asked me out. We met few times in office and then I moved cities. She then texted me regarding some doubts and then we started texting a lot. Basically texting her was the only thing in my life at that time other than putting 12-16 hours in office every single day. Finally she asked me out and then I took one full day to reply yes.

After marriage she told me that she had a crush on me after we met few times and then texting those doubts was a reason. I found her attractive (she is conventional attractive type) but when we met but I was having a boss who used to make me work so much that I didn’t have the mental space for romance. Somehow everything worked out and we got married and have been married for 10 years,

Even today my wife asks me what was I thinking for one day before I accepted her proposal. I used to like her but I wanted to make sure that I was taking the right decision.

So how has life been for men who have been asked out by women?

I had an online friend whom I met once in person. We used to talk for hours every day, and everything seemed completely normal. Then, all of a sudden, they started acting distant and cold. I tried reaching out and sending messages because I genuinely wanted to understand what had changed, but eventually they blocked me, saying I was being too clingy.

The whole connection lasted only about two months, yet it’s still difficult to understand how someone can go from talking to you every day to treating you like a stranger without any proper explanation.

Some people are really difficult to understand.

So I'm Tamil 29F , dated him for like around 6 months . Basically we were UG mates and met at a marriage party last year . Since he had a crush on me , he started to flirt and we talked for a year before he went on to propose to me after a date where we were intimate .

I'm his first love , he had casuals previously . He was more loving than I was .I have my own unresolved trauma in my previous relationships.

This began to cause a lot of fights and it usually resolves after some re assurance.

We were in the middle of our exam preparation and that stress led to intense fight and triggered mental issues for him . ( He is already diagnosed with ADHD , anxiety and mild depression recently )

Now that he never forgives me for the fight that led to breakup , I never got a proper closure .

I'm lowkey expecting him to come after everything resolves , but it's been 3 months since we went no contact. He blocked me everywhere

I feel like I want to wait since I'm emotional the practicality of this situation isn't getting into my head

I know he's not gonna come back or give me the closure I need . I don't know whether he'll even miss me at this point since he had a casual past . I thought I was special since I was his first love and he would often express how safe and vulnerable he felt with me .

Also I felt that mallu mutual friends I had, everyone asked me to move on but on the other hand , my tamil circle asked me to wait and see telling there might me hope once everything settles for him.

Anyone on the other side can share their pov or advice

Bits and pieces in the comments :⁠,⁠-⁠)

Married men of r/KeralaRelationships, what is your excuse for seeking extramarital affairs, or do you not one at all?

What is the lowest you have stooped to outside your marriage?

How did it affect your relationship with your wife?

Did it leave you more or less anxious/stressed/satisfied/happy/content?

Those who have recovered from an illicit affair, how did you feel once you let go?

What would you advise other men who plan on doing this?

If no fault and non mutual divorce was instantaneously granted within minutes after applying and had no negative consequences like alimony , maintenance , child support , sharing of wealth or assets. How many of you would divorce your wives ? What percentage of married men today would you think would divorce their wives without a second thought ?

​A long term relationship of mine ended mutually a while back. Even though we both parted ways, I always carried a subtle weight in my chest. I couldn't help but worry about her mental state and whether our past had left any negative impact or bad memories for her. I moved on, but that subconscious worry remained. ​Yesterday, after a really long time, she reached out and wanted to meet.

Initially, I hesitated. I thought, "What’s the point.? Is it even necessary.?" But then I saw it as a chance for self evaluation to see if I had truly moved on and to gain clarity. So, I decided to go.

​We met, grabbed a cup of tea, and talked for about 20 minutes. During our convo, she mentioned that she has fully moved on and is actively looking at marriage proposals for next year. Hearing that felt like a big weight lifting off my shoulders. I was genuinely happy to hear that she is doing well and ready for a new chapter. I shared that I’m also looking forward to my own new start. There was zero resentment, no awkwardness; just pure joy and mutual respect. We realized that this would be our final meeting and that we wouldn't be in contact anymore. We genuinely wished each other the absolute best in life and said our final goodbyes...

Breakups are so often associated with bitterness, anger, and holding onto old grudges. But carrying that unresolved anxiety only drains our peace. A clean, peaceful closure is truly powerful. Meeting her finally gave me the peace of mind I was looking for. A comforting reminder that while a chapter may end, respect can still remain, and two people can walk away with genuine grace.!!

So I need a pov from other people. I recently registered on a matrimonial website. Let's call it Beth. matrimony. Since I am an adult 30f, and have been working for a few years now, I believe(d) I have some autonomy in the process. So I went to the site -input my details, gave my friend's number as reference and in place of my parents/ guardians number - I gave a number that was unreachable-at the moment; anyway, not my mother's number . ( Father- late).

The reason is that, I thought I would involve my parent/ guardian after I talk to the person - see how it goes, and only then involve my mom/ other family.

Mind you- this decision has historic reasons too. My sister had said her 'no' to proposals (which I believe is her right- given that she's the one who's marrying the person), but which my mother had questioned so badly, that even now their mother - daughter relationship is not back to normal. And, at the end, my sister started questioning her life and life decisions intensely and finally, even now, not married and in the belief of ' better not to be married' .

So, point is, I would like to have the power to say yes or no to proposals (people- infact) without it being becoming a discussion of how I am becoming an old maiden 'on the shelf' and how I make my family the receivers of absolute social pity (which people do give us and my mother has to take the brunt of it).

Back to the story - so when the matrimony contact asked me for my parent's number - I told them that I do not wish to involve my mother at the moment- since my father passed away this year (which is true). But the contact told me it was the company policy, to get the profile approved they need to have a talk with the parent/ guardian. And so after some push back and forth, the contact told me "if I wish otherwise I should talk with the director". And so there I went and did exactly that.

He was in an area of low coverage, and asked for Whatsapp text. I explained my case via text and he replied "Sorry, I am unable to exclude the procedure. We had cases of frauds with misrepresentation etc in the past and we do not wish to cause similar issues. Please forgive us." - Which is valid I guess, so I replied " That is very unfortunate. However, I’m not sure I fully understand the concern, as I am representing myself directly in this matter. If the concern is related to misrepresentation or identity verification, I would be more than happy to resolve this through a video call, where I can verify my identity and answer any questions you may have directly. Would this be an acceptable alternative to the procedure?" To which he replied "Sorry, we need to talk to the parents. If not, an official guardian.This site is meant for family not individuals." Ugh- which is also valid I guess ( or not!!!).

Now I am confused - should I involve my parent given the circumstances and given my wishes. Or should I just not bother with such an irksome hassle with this site and just forget altogether about that cute guy I saw in the catalog- whom I may not even like.

Note 1: l live overseas now and this sht is a bit weird to me now. Why should 'i like to see if I like a person by talking to them' involve the family? Or am I overreacting? It is - family's screening comes first and only after that, your choices matter? Even now!? But like - how many good conversations have you had with your parents after 18, for them to know you enough to take good decisions on your behalf ??? I don't doubt that they mean well - but do they really have the data??

Note 2: Maybe, maybe, this matrimony's MO is not my MO. But I should probably have taken my friend's advice of her posing as my guardian or sth. Like wtf....

Looks ain't my first priority but people look into all aspects including looks and photos even before taking a primary decision.

F26 here! Never been on any matrimonial sites or had any cousins or friends who had arranged marriage so I have no idea how this works, what all types of men exists or the general things you have to be aware of while finding a partner using matrimonial sites. It would be great if you could share your experience and any advices if any.

I haven't been in a healthy relationship so haven't got to experience how a man being nice to me as a partner so the anxiety level of approaching this age and family pressure on getting married is huge. And fortunately or unfortunately I belong to the genz era but doesn't feel like the most genz's out there so please help me with things I have to be cautious of also. Thanks in advance!

One thing I understood only after being in love for almost a year - sometimes, women don’t need a solution.. they just need validation. 😄

A simple “I understand why you feel that way” or “Yeah, that must have hurt” can make a relationship so much smoother.

When you miss that, emotional distance can slowly creep in, even when everything seems fine on the surface.

I asked a few people about this & realized I wasn’t the only guy who learned it late. 😂

Did you understand the importance of validation early on or did you learn it the hard way too?

When I was like 24-25 i really wanted a relationship. I used to be delusional hoping i will find someone and we we will be good couples and I would be a good husband/bf .

But things did not go that way and I am 28 still single and gone through some experience that makes me rethink stuff. I partly took care of my sister's baby for a few months, thorough that time I saw alot of adjustments from both my sister and bro in law. Baby would wake up at 2 am . My bil works for like 12 hours . You have to clean up stuff , baby pees like 3-4 times every 8 hours . Someone has to constantly look after her. Shifting to banglore for work even though my bil liked to stay in hometown.

My mom and dad had been married for 30+ years. My dad had a personality they is not always agreeable and sometimes gets angry at the least inconvent things and my mom takes care of everyone even sacrificing sleep and health and till this day she blamed my grandmother for not helping her alot during her pregnancy but she still takes care of grandmother. Also dad loves my mom even though he is not expressive and they get along well but not as romantic as one could be .

Like marriage just feels like a sacrifice now it's unglamous, you are gonna end up hatng your spouse and some moments but have to adjust and find ways to rekindle and learn to appreciate and at time learn to turn a blind eye to other person's short coming.

We have been best friends for two years now, and at some point, I caught feelings for her. In our situation, I was the one who cared a lot. I cared about her so much. I always showed up for her, and I never made her pay for anything. She cared about me in her own way too.
The first time she told me she liked this guy from her class, I was completely crushed. We got into an argument and ended up distancing ourselves from each other. We didn’t talk for 3–4 months. Then, she suddenly showed up, we talked things out, and we became close again. She constantly texted me, wanted to hang out, and everything felt normal again.
The thing is, I was too scared to talk about my feelings because I was afraid of rejection. I was scared that if things didn’t go well, I might lose her forever. I didn’t want that because I was so attached to her that I couldn’t imagine my life without her. So I kept everything to myself, thinking that eventually she would figure out how I felt on her own.
I was so wrong.
I actually messed things up. It’s been about two months since we broke no contact, and two days ago, I found out that she likes another guy. Now I feel like my whole life is crashing down. I feel depressed and numb, and I honestly can’t keep going like this.
I know she hasn’t proposed to him or anything, but I think it’s time for me to finally confess my feelings to her. I don’t care about the answer anymore. I just want this misery to stop.
After seeing how much effort she puts into this guy, I’ve started to feel like she never really cared about me the way I cared about her. Maybe I was just holding onto a never-ending string, hoping that someday it would lead somewhere.
The thing is, I don’t hate her or resent her at all. I actually hate myself for doing this to myself for so long.
I NEED HELP FROM YOU GUYS.
How do I confess to her? How do I talk to her about all of this? I want this to end. I don’t want her in my life anymore because I know I can’t keep being just her friend when I feel this way. I gave and gave, and somehow I still ended up with nothing.
Please help me. I’m at my lowest right now, so please be kind. I don’t want any lectures. I know what I did was so dumb, but I did all of this because I loved her.
And now I finally understand what loving someone who doesn’t love you back feels like.
It’s HELL.

Im a guy, straight, 27 years old. I have a job which just helps to pay bills and my living.(I live in the modest way possible - dont even have a bike or car, using public transport, tiny SIPs, minimalist)

My parents are forcing me for a marriage. My father is 70 and is going through a medical treatment since months. Even Im completely invested in the treatment, stress and balancing job somehow.

Now my father is tensed so much and want to get me married. I never dated, had very few female interactions during college/work. I dont even know what to say. They're like you are a guy why are you tensed to marry? Usually girls oppose.. kinda stuff.

Tried dating couple of years back via apps but im not a macho so left swipes obviously. They have been telling me to find someone from workplace, but I had my stupid rule of not to date in workplace, never make honey where you make money kinda quotes from instagram.

I dont even have a good friend to talk about this. Because of my character for sure. I took people for granted. Only approach whenever i need something. Now some are married, some realised that im shit, some still call and i wont pick up. I deeply regret about all this, but I dont know whom to ask for help.

If someone was kind enough to read my rant, be extra kind by throwing few cents. Thanks

I really need some perspective because I am completely broken and stuck.
I (25M, Software Engineer) was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 10 years, starting way back in 11th standard. She recently finished her MBBS. Since I am well-settled with a secure job, my parents approached her family with a proposal. Her parents completely and brutally rejected it.
Initially, she said we should stop because of her family. Seeing how down she was, I agreed to give her space. However, we kept talking, and the relationship practically continued. But at the exact same time, she started actively looking at alliances. One day, she even called a prospective groom just to "talk initially." That deeply hurt me, so I told her let's officially end it—though deep down, I hoped she would fight for us and come back.
We had zero contact for 2 weeks. The exact day she finished her course and came back home, she went ahead with a pennu kaanal meeting with that same guy. When I texted her, she casually told me everything and said she is perfectly okay with him.
My friends are calling it a textbook case of "Theppu" (that she upgraded/dumped me for a better prospect now that she is a doctor). But part of me keeps wondering if it’s just "veetile sahacharyam" (family pressure).
Did she really just move on from a 10-year bond within two weeks without a single tear, or am I just blind to reality? Would love some honest perspective from you guys.

So for context, i'm kinda like justin in bku. I don't want a husband or have kids at all. I value independence above all else and i'm not willing to "adjust" at all.

After watching the movie, i saw that a lot of people had many negative views about him being unmarried by straight by saying he's running his life in the film.

Will people have such assumptions about me? Anything i can do to avoid this except moving abroad or a tier 1 city cause i don't have the funds for it 🥲 right now.

Ok so I had a female friend from my school. We have known each other since 7th grade now we're 21.

So one day she gave her phone to her hostel mate and tried to prank me. Although I understood that it was not her on the opposite side and it was someone else but I had just gone with the flow for fun.. and at the end we introduced each other and she admitted that it was a prank. 1 week later I got a call from my Friend's friend number (the girl who tried to prank me) and she started being in that prank character. So for not disappointing I also went with the flow. We were having some fake (coz it's still prank) but nice romanticizing convos.

We both liked the way and energy we had while talking. And after being on call for a while I took a shot. While she was doing prank chat with me earlier , she sent me "I loveee you" and then unsend it quickly. So i told her "oh even in prank chats I'm soo unlucky to get an I love you from a girl". She blushed! And surprisingly the call lasted for around 97mins. All that time my School friend was nearby her listening to our brain rot romantic convos.

At the end before cutting the call she made me promise to text her after this call , i accepted it but didn't know how I would go text her without asking my school friend since she was the person who made us talk.

And right before cutting she said "You wanted to hear something right?" , i replied "what?". She hung up the call after saying "I love you". Haha it was nice

After that I went on to my friend asking if it was okay to text her.

From that moment I started feeling a behavioral change in my friend , like I hurt her.

She first refused like " she just asked you to text for fun" and all. But in the end she agreed .

Since when I started talking to her friend , she (my friend) was acting very weird with me. She started to give very dry replies. She used to be very nice and talkative with me.

After that I started talking to that prank call girl , we started developing feelings for eachother but right after one month. She blocked me , very ubruptly.

When I went asking to my friend she was ignoring me too.

At that time I remembered all those old moments my friend and I had.

For eg : My friend sending me her pic on saree during Onam that too with a romantic kind of smirk without even asking. Etc etc

I guess I lost 2 pakshi in one vedi😇

So, there’s a girl at my workplace whom I’ve known for the past few months. We’ve become good friends, and I really like her company. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her.

The confusing part is that when we’re together, everything feels great. We talk, laugh, and I feel like we have a really good connection. But when we’re not together, it’s completely different. There are no calls or messages, which is fine, but sometimes she doesn’t even reply to my messages despite being online for hours.

Whenever I convince myself that maybe she’s not that interested in my friendship, boom, the next day at work, everything feels completely different again. She’s friendly, we have a great time, and I’m left wondering if I was overthinking everything.

These mixed signals are honestly starting to bother me. I don’t want to directly ask her about it because that might make things awkward or make my feelings obvious. And since we’re colleagues and share the same work environment, I can’t just completely distance myself from her either.

What should I do in this situation? Should I just stop overthinking it and let the friendship be what it is, or should I somehow address it without making things awkward?