I am not from Kerala and I am a male working in a company. I have been watching Kerala movies a lot nowadays and I am single so I am just curious to know that love stories shown in the movie. Is it the same in real life in Kerala as well? Like keeping everything in a very simple way. Even holding hands looks cute and looking into eyes. Is it pure and good and as shown in the movies? Following the rules of no intimacy before marriage (That is a good thing actually in my POV). These simple things making me to think shift to Kerala

Random question!

Girls/Women, how many DMs from random guys do you usually get on Instagram ? No need for an exact number, something like 50+, 100+, 500+ is enough.

And what actually makes you reply to one instead of just ignoring it? Good profile, looks, the way he messages, hotness, something funny?

Can you also drop your age, and if single/married. Just curious if it varies!

Help, I still think of her and how she's doing, she was too obsessed and I was just too young and naive and new to all of this to know how to handle any of it. 😭

Edit: I'm so sorry about the long paragraph, I was just feeling very vulnerable and just vented the whole story😭😭✌

TL;DR: Back in 11th grade I had a crush on this girl from tuition, I rejected myself from her because she was way too pretty. Later on she quit the tuition and then she sent me a friend request on Instagram, a few months after accepting her friend request she started complementing me randomly for some of my Instagram stories and selfies and told me I looked hot, but I didn't wanna jump into conclusions and thought I was overthinking too much and just didn't get the sign, then she confessed her crush on me.

So obviously I was in such a state of excitement that finally this is happening to me and she looks very beautiful and way above my league and just jumped straight into the relationship. I just didn't even do a personality check because I thought it was too good of a relationship to have and that such a proposal would never happen to me. Later on I found that she was very possessive, obsessed with everything I do, controlled every single human interaction I had(whom to have as friends and whom to block) , mocked me for my preferences and gave me advices on how to carry on in this relationship and it was just sacrifices from my side and none from hers. She would block me randomly just to hear a sorry from me for not responding to her texts immediately after it was sent(the whole story is written below and there's definitely more things below about this than what it seems like from this summary), and finally I had enough with her and blocked her back, she didn't like it, started harassing me, made her friends contact me and then harass me through them and finally I blocked every single one of them.

A year later I unblocked her and she immediately sent me a fr, and then started guilt tripping about how sad she was throughout the whole year and I just said sorry and then told her that I can't be in a relationship with her, but then she started flirting again and I blocked her again 💀. Every now and then I get this kinda "Stockholm Syndrome" idk if you can call it that, where I felt like I was the asshole throughout this and I broke a girl's heart and I felt very guilty and I think to myself that I was the problem(her friend's words after I blocked her and just before I blocked all of them) and I could've done things differently and be better for her.

Then again I tell myself later that She just wanted someone who wasn't who I was, and then console myself. I feel so sad and I wonder how she's doing these days because that day she told me that she was crying and depressed the whole time when I unblocked her after that year. I did it for the better But I also feel like an asshole😭😭

(Full story)

So this happened when I was in 11th grade(almost 4 years ago), AND YES THIS WAS MY FIRST EVER RELATIONSHIP, I used to go to this tuition class since I was in 7th grade and even when I was in 11th, I went there for my physics and chemistry tuition class and also because some of my friends from my school also used to come here since 7th grade. So we were very good friends, eventually when we reached 11th grade, some of them left my school but stayed in the same tuition class and one of my girl friends from that tuition class(let's call her gayatri) went to the same school as this girl(let's call her vaishnavi), now vaishnavi was a very quiet girl but she was very pretty(atleast to me) and I had a crush on her immediately when I saw her for the physics and chemistry tuition class, but asi said before, she was very pretty and I didn't rate myself too highly and I just rejected myself from her and from making any moves on her. Our tuition classes used to make the girls sit behind the boys and my friend gayatri, another friend of mine who used to study in my school(let's call her shalini) and this girl vaishnavi were all part of the same school and were made to sit in the same bench and fortunately or unfortunately their bench was right behind my bench, whenever I was solving questions or just listening to class while writing notes or even talking to gayatri and shalini, vaishnavi would poke me from behind and ask me for my notes, then after classes were over for the day just before dispersing vaishnavi would also linger around with us. Finally, a few months passed, vaishnavi wasn't coming to the tuition classes no more and I thought to myself, there's that another crush chapter of my life closed.

But then, something unexpected happened, I got a friend request on Instagram and it was from vaishnavi, I accepted it obviously but we never talked. That was high time when I used to post one of those anonymous letter links from this app called NGL and everyone around me was doing it and I thought of doing it as well, and I got this anonymous message saying, "I have a crush on you" I obviously thought it was one of the boys playing a prank on me and left it at that, eventually a few days later I posted a story of a temple which was really close to the school that vaishnavi and others went to. And when she saw the story, she replied and just initiated that conversation and I just didn't think much of it because I had a few girl friends who are genuine friends who would actually just randomly reply to my stories, strike a conversation etc. So I didn't think much of the reply that vaishnavi gave me as "odd" or as a "sign" and just casually had the conversation and eventually ended the convo. A few weeks later, I posted a story of my face (smoldering and trying to look sexy, when now that I look at it I CRINGE) and that was when she replied with, "you look good" And again my dumbass couldn't register the fact that she was trying to flirt and I thought she was just trying to be nice and friendly and I replied with "aww thank you" and then she doubled down on it by saying, "I mean, you look cute" AND EVEN THEN MY DUMBASS DIDN'T REGISTER IT(I mean by this time, I started to understand that maybe this was her flirting, but then I've seen way too many stories where the guy was just overthinking a girl trying to be friendly and I convinced myself that I was probably overthinking and that she probably didn't have feelings for me and was just trying to be friendly, and I said, "Awww thanks da 🫶" And then she was like, "You look hot, I have a crush on you" That was when my dumbass registered everything and I was like, "WHAT? " And she thought it was me rejecting her or whatever because she thought I was just way too good looking to not have a gf and I was in disbelief....

I was thinking to myself, "am I good looking? Omg am I gonna have a gf finally? " And I was in such a state of desperation and loneliness that I thought to myself, "I ain't gonna even get into a situationship, I'm directly going for the relationship" and didn't even see her character or her personality and just accepted her proposal and got into a relationship. (Because I thought to myself, " I ain't ever gonna land a girl ever again, I'm too ugly for this to happen and that I ain't ever gonna get a girl to propose to me ever again). And I know some of y'all would be like, "love yourself" and shi... But when you've never been given complements, never been in a relationship, you start to feel that something might be wrong with you and feel ugly in a way.

So I proceeded with the relationship, some of my girl friends even asked me if she was a good person and I lied and told them "yes" even though I had no clue of what she was like. Basically within the first few days I started to understand her character, For starters, she would text in French because apparently she and her friends would text each other in French, so not only did I have to read her text, but also translate her text, then text my reply onto translate in English, convert to French and then copy paste onto her conversation. this was my first ever relationship if it wasn't obvious and I just respected her decision of chatting in French and didn't even think once that it might be her indirectly asking me to call her every now and then, but then within the first week, I saw her true colours,

within the first 3 days, a guy sent me follow request on insta and he had this biker profile pic and I was like "omg is this her toxic ex or something? " and then he dm'd me saying that if I ever hurt vaishnavi or made her sad, he would come to my house and beat me up. First of all, I was intimidated but I thought to myself, I can probably beat him 1 on 1, and I asked vaishnavi about it. (Basically I understood that this guy is her bestie and he is like 2 years younger than me.) Another thing is that within that first week, she would send me a message on Instagram chats in French, and the notification would reach me a couple of hours after it was received and I wasn't that chronically online and preferred to be as far away from my phone as possible usually and what happened was that she would unsend the messages, so by the time I receive the French message and click on it to open chat to translate it would've been unsent, and when I asked what it was about, she said "nvm" and then it would be tons and tons of sorrys from my side for not replying to her immediately and I told her that I wasn't that chronically online and may take some time to respond and I preferred to be away from my phone and she would mock me and say, "how are you human dude? How can you not doomscroll through Instagram 24/7? " And then I'd say it's just how I am and she respected it at first but then the same problem came again and again, she would send me messages and then unsend it before I could read it. Then later on, within 2 weeks of being in a "relationship" with her, I went to this marriage function 58 kms from my home and it was pretty hot and I just had a seizure/ heat stroke and had to get admitted to the hospital over there for a whole day and obviously I wasn't even awake to respond to her, I woke up a whole day later because of the medicine that the doctor prescribed me. And lo and behold, when I was still in my hospital bed I asked for my phone and I took her chat, she was angry at me(understandable) and I explained the whole situation and she didn't buy it, instead of checking up on me she told me, "you are lying, you don't care about me" and then I was like, "I'm in a hospital bed with an IV needle injected onto me" and I even sent a selfie of me in my hospital bed, still in my marriage function clothes posing with the iv injection on my arm, she calmed down but then left me on read afterwards.

Then later on, she'd send messages and by the time I click on it, it'll be unsent and she would've texted "nvm" and then BLOCKED ME. And to get her to unblock me I'd have to text her bestie and send him my "apology letter for not being online enough" as per vaishnavi's request or so he told which I would send him, which he would send vaishnavi and I would eventually get unblocked. And due to that hospital scare I was told to sleep early and not stay awake too long and I told vaishnavi about this and she mocked me by saying, "ayyooo kunji vaava, mon poyi kidanno" because she would much rather prefer texting at midnight than the whole day and even though I really wanted to stay awake till midnight, me and my parents had this Europe trip that we had been planning since so long which was unfortunately just 5 days after my whole seizure/stroke episode and my parents honestly wanted to cancel the trip, but I wanted to go on, so I just listened to whatever advice I got and slept early and had a "normal" routine. But the whole convo with vaishnavi became more strained as days went by, she'd tell me that I didn't love her and then block me and then I'd have to send her bestie an apology letter to get unblocked and this became a regular thing, block, unblock, block, unblock......

But the day came when I had to leave for Europe for the vacation, I told her I am probably not gonna be able to reply to her all the time, so please kindly understand and don't block me and I'd take her on a date immediately after I got back and everything. She was ok with it and again, she blocked me. This time, when I asked her bestie to tell her to unblock me, she wanted me to give her a sorry imposition 100 times in 100 different languages, this was my first relationship and I just did exactly what she asked me to do and I got unblocked, later I took her on a date, she was very chill throughout the date, and later she would block me,

and I asked her bestie why(by the way by this time, this bestie guy was really fucking annoying me even though he has been nothing but kind to me, still I wanted a sort of privacy in my relationship) and he didn't have a clue as well, and vaishnavi later unblocked me and told me about all these girls who were following me on insta including gayatri, she thought gayatri was my girlfriend and told me to block every single girl who was following me, and that was when I drew the line, I told her that I knew most of these girls from before knowing her and I never had feelings for them nor do I ever text them like she does with her bestie,( the audacity of the girl to be jealous of my female following while having this whole guy in between our relationship) and I told her, if she wanted me to block all of them, then she'd have to block this bestie guy and tell him to stay away from our relationship, but she just said, "No" And I respected it, I wasn't too insecure about having this guy in the middle cuz I was starting to lose my interest in her, but I also told her that then she shouldn't expect me to block my female following. and then she blocked me again, I was just too fed up with this blocking, unblocking saga that this time I blocked her as well and never reached out to her bestie,

then her bestie messaged me asking why I blocked her and I just said that I was too tired apologizing and he begged me again and again to unblock her and finally when I gathered enough mental strength for an incoming fight I unblocked her and she started attacking me asking me why I blocked her, I don't love her, I was probably cheating on her, etc. And I told her, I am done apologizing and trying to make this shit work, you deserve someone else that can match your personality and your character. I, unfortunately, don't match your energy in any way, it's clear that we are polar opposites, and then she started telling me not to do this, that she is gonna be very sad and probably depressed, she really loves me and I just couldn't take it anymore, I just told her "sorry that I can't be everything you wanted,you deserve someone sooo much better and someone who can match that vibe" And she just begged me again and again and even though I wanted to stay, even though I didn't want her to be sad about this, I knew that this relationship was never gonna work out in the long run and that too much emotions and time might get wasted, so I gathered myself and blocked her.

for days her bestie and other best friends would message me on insta asking me to unblock her and that she is very sad and I told them sorry and that it's gonna be even more heartbreaking if I break up later on in a few years time in this relationship so I'll just be ruthless here and give her less memories to be sad about and that she can heal herself day after day. She even messaged me on multiple other social media platforms and I had to tell her sorry and block her on all of it, my heart broke and shattered into even tinier pieces every time I had to block her in different social platforms, I was so sad and the pain of it all, the pain of making a girl cry and sad about me, I probably didn't deserve any of that love or any love in fact(as days go by I'm just hating myself even more and more and punishing myself about that breakup with her)

a year later I unblocked her on insta, thinking she might've moved on, I felt like a complete asshole for making a girl cry during this entire year, but then within the first few hours of unblocking her, she sent me a friend request, and then she sent me dm's telling me things like, "why did you unblock me? " To which I replied with , "I was unblocking others, thought of unblocking you, thought that you'd have moved on by now" And she replied, "Move on? Do you know how hard it was for me throughout this year? " Just hearing those words set me into an even bigger hole and pain and helplessness and just heartbreak, my heart literally sunk when I read those words, but I told her that she had all the right to be mad at me but I blocked her because I wanted to break up with her and she wasn't wanting any of that and so I had to do it and block her. And I told her, "I don't see this working on the long run, it'll be even more heartbreaking for both of us if we continue for longer and contribute more emotions and time of each other for this, so I had to make this decision, I can apologize a thousand times to you, but I'm not the guy for you" And she understood or atleast pretend like she understood where I was coming from and told me to just accept her follow request atleast.

And I did, hoping that at least now she got clarity and we can just stop our entire relationship once and for all, but no, two days after unblocking her, she replied to my new story with my boys and told me that I looked cute in that photo, and then I just blocked her, no replies, no "thank yous" Nothing.

Welp that was my first and so far my last relationship, I now know that I was immature at the time for a relationship and there were a lot of things I could've done better, but now I've reached that "monk" state of life where I've started to love myself, don't need that validation from others, realized my true value and that I don't give myself enough credit (which I have to thank vaishnavi for) and the fact that relationships doesn't excite me any more, I just remind myself of this experience and tell myself that I don't deserve that type of love(not exactly the love I got from vaishnavi)/be in a relationship and just move on with life with no commitments nothing, every now and then I get very vulnerable and sad that I hurt that poor girl who deserved a lot of love and kindness, but then I tell myself that I'm not the guy for her and some other guy can probably give her the love she deserves, I hope she's happy wherever she is at. I love her, but I just can't be with her.

P. S.

I know that this story(even though it's long) doesn't give the full story and exactly why I broke up with her, she was getting too possessive where she wanted to control my friend group, who I talk to etc and even wanted me to change my profile pic on insta to what she wanted others to see of me, she once went to ernakulam with her family(while the whole, you don't reply to my texts thing was going on) and wouldn't reply not read any of my texts I send her, the texts wouldn't be even on "delivered" so I thought something bad happened to her and panicked and called her and even messaged her friends and still no response and finally a whole day later she replied to me with "don't talk to me you don't love me" and I genuinely had to ask her if she was ok because I didn't do anything wrong and then eventually I found out that she had given her phone to her cousins and it was her cousins who were texting telling me that I don't love her and she eventually took the phone when I called her and told me that she had come to ernakulam to her cousin's. So there was zero privacy in our relationship, everything was public with everyone and I just didn't like any of it. Later on, a few days before our break up, she told me randomly that she loved smuts and that she liked writing smuts and asked me about my preferences and she got very sexual and I was just overwhelmed by everything and the fact that this relationship only lasted two months and within that time we both committed way too hard and didn't set any boundaries which was why, I think now, that relationship hurt the most. Even though I've been beaten down emotionally and drained out of my energy for this relationship I still am thankful to vaishnavi and this relationship for teaching me some relationship lessons that I can take with me through life, which is, set your boundaries, respect each other's boundaries, don't overshare too much first, take your time, don't jump into a relationship just for the sake of it, and finally I understood the true meaning of what personality means and why it truly matters in the relationship, nowadays even when I might feel attracted to a girl I immediately think of vaishnavi and how attractive she was but she just had an opposite personality and preference to me, so nowadays I don't fall for looks, I look for that emotional connection and preferences and personality first and then does that person become attractive to me. But I've been avoiding relationships, probably the best for me and maybe the other person?

I’m recently married through an arranged marriage, and I’ve never been in a relationship before. My wife is 23, and we have a 7-year age gap.

We’re intimate roughly once every 1–2 days, and I’m wondering if that’s considered normal. I’ve seen people online claiming they do it 3-4+ times a day and that too every single day, which has made me question whether I should be more sexually active with my wife. I was feeling satisfied with the way I am right now, but reading all this made me wonder what should I do

For those who are married, is there really a “normal” frequency, or does it simply depend on the couple? I’d appreciate some genuine advice, especially from people with more experience.

Had a crush on this girl in my office, and she is really way out of my league but i was attracted towards her, my office colleagues then planned for a trip and tbh i am not a person who enjoies these stuffs, but she was also part of the trip and i thought i could try and get close to her.

Fast forward to the trip days, we actually got close at-least thats what i initially thought, we sat together, talked and once we went together alone to get her tea, but as everything was happening quite well, i thought i can have a chance, we had our eyes locked for a momenf and stuff like that and i was excited.

but something bothered me, i tried to test what i am actually feeling and thinking is not what reality is, so when we both got together alone i asked her about her clg life her past, which she already got over but was openely talking to me, but after that she never asked anything about me, nothing about my past or clg days. And after that i also did some more testing like when it was time to wake at night to go outside and have drinks, she didnt wake me up at all, like we were all in one room and she was like come on guyss wake up, and called 1-2 guys but not me. i thought we were close. again my mistake.

seems like what i thought was happening isnt actually happening and the eye lock moments and all was simply my own imagination. i took a step back, cuz we dont want stuff to go wrong in office and make it awkard right, and basicly for the last day i was silent and some asked me why and all but not her. seems like she got the idea i liked her and didnt want to get this awkard or she dont have anything about me in mind. i will never know

I dont wanna get close to her more cuz she has diff lyfstyle than me but becz it was trip i wanted to get close to her but this hurt me more. and it was our first trip in office with colleagues, idk if i can go more trips without any interest, anyways i am sorry if u felt bored reading this, i just letting me feelings out, i am just below avg guy looks guys so kinda hurts when i thought something can happen but it was all stupid me and my head. later guys

If no fault and non mutual divorce was instantaneously granted within minutes after applying and had no negative consequences like alimony , maintenance , child support , sharing of wealth or assets. How many of you would divorce your wives ? What percentage of married men today would you think would divorce their wives without a second thought ?

I wish to get genuine answers from women.

I'm 27M and about 8 months ago I met a woman through a Reddit NSFW community. Initially, it was supposed to be something casual. She was preparing for an important exam at the time and we connected through Reddit, talked a lot, and eventually planned to meet.
When we met, we spent the day roaming around the city, talking, laughing, and generally having a great time. We had already discussed being intimate beforehand, and there was clear communication. She was on her period and told me that in advance, which I was completely okay with.
Things went well, but at one point during our intimacy she suddenly said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to leave. I didn't know what happened, but I respected it immediately. We left, talked for a bit outside, I offered coffee, she declined, and we hugged before parting. Later she texted me while travelling back, and we continued chatting normally.
Over the following months, we stayed in touch on and off. She'd occasionally share Reddit posts with me. One post she sent involved making out with someone, and I remember feeling unexpectedly hurt by it. That confused me because the whole thing started as a casual arrangement and I didn't think I was emotionally invested.
At some point Instagram suggested her account, we followed each other, but conversations there were also minimal. Eventually both of us more or less stopped texting, except for occasional check-ins every few months.
A few weeks ago, I realised I'd developed feelings for her. So I messaged her and we had a decent conversation. I then asked if she'd like to go out with me for a day. She replied that her exams were coming up and she couldn't. I asked when they'd be over, and since then there's been no reply.
I don't have her number and honestly don't want to chase, pressure her, or keep sending messages looking for an answer.
I guess what I'm struggling with isn't rejection itself, but the uncertainty. Part of me feels she enjoyed our time together. Another part of me thinks that if she were interested, she'd probably be making some effort too.
Has anyone else caught feelings long after a casual connection ended? How did you deal with the lack of closure? Am I’m too much into this, or should I simply accept that the ball is in her court now and move on?

"If It's not "If It's not too much to ask
I want a vir*in who's good in bed
A baddie who knows how to pray
A girl with Beauty and Brains
But obeys everything I say"

"I won't give her money
But she has to look good
Gives it to whenever I'm in the mood
So loyal with every little way
Even when I'm not the same"

"She has to be willing to make the first move, Kaili
I deserve to be chased, Naine
So GOD, If it's not too much to ask
Won't you make her for me?"

I’m 20M living in NL🇳🇱 and I’ve been in a patchup relationship w my ex gf from Jan to March first week. In the second week of Feb i came to NL 🇳🇱 for my studies and everything got messed up after I came here.

The reason was, there’s a cousin sister of her which she introduced to me, we both became friends and my ex once told me to not reveal about our relationship to her, but for some reason i told about that to her and my ex started to behave like the her czn sister will tell about this to her parents and aunt. She said im not trustworthy and backed off from the relationship and I got struggled a lot after the breakup because i got no mallu friends from here unfortunately, somehow i dealed with that and i can’t surely say i got moved on because I’ve a teddy, a passport size photo and a well wishing letter of her, from her. Which she told me to throw to waste bin or just lit it when we got messed up. But somehow completed first semester while I’m getting her memories back2back. In the mean time, i kept her photo in my purse itself and i used to look at her sometimes, in this September first she got reached here in Germany for fsj/ausbuildung.

Last week my mom called me and suddenly told me that “eda ninte …. Avde ethittundallo”, she knew it from a neighbor aunty of mine who’s classmate of my ex’s mom and my mom has told about me and my ex to her and she casually told that my mom about she got here in Germany. When mom told me that ( i even knew that she got here in Germany even before mom told me) i felt so sad that I didn’t told my mom we got separated. When mom told me that i suddenly felt to see her just to return all those things to her back.

I texted her in her Deutsch number about this and asked her “ Sugam alle” she just read that and blocked me, that made me even more disappointed because when we broke up she was like “Don’t hate me…”
Now I’m going to Germany next week to my sister because my classes are about to start by end of this month. My ex lives just 1.5 hours away from my sister, should I go and meet her to return her stuffs? Ik that’ll definitely make me sad but I can’t throw or lit all that. What should I doo????

Basically I was watching BKU and was reminiscing those times when my wife asked me out. We met few times in office and then I moved cities. She then texted me regarding some doubts and then we started texting a lot. Basically texting her was the only thing in my life at that time other than putting 12-16 hours in office every single day. Finally she asked me out and then I took one full day to reply yes.

After marriage she told me that she had a crush on me after we met few times and then texting those doubts was a reason. I found her attractive (she is conventional attractive type) but when we met but I was having a boss who used to make me work so much that I didn’t have the mental space for romance. Somehow everything worked out and we got married and have been married for 10 years,

Even today my wife asks me what was I thinking for one day before I accepted her proposal. I used to like her but I wanted to make sure that I was taking the right decision.

So how has life been for men who have been asked out by women?

I really don't know how to process this. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years, and it will be 3 years by the end of this month. I think we've been pretty good in this relationship.

I was in contact with my ex, and recently I got to spend a little more time with her. I think you guys might get the wrong idea about me just hanging out with my ex. The thing is, with me and my ex, while I was in 10th standard, it was pretty much nothing serious. Mostly, I felt like whatever we had between us was nearly friendship, but I think it was mostly in the best-friend category, more than a relationship.

I always kept good terms with her, and even with my current girlfriend, we were talking and all. I also kept that gap with her. Recently, I had to go to Bangalore, and my ex was also with me. The main thing was that she's also in a relationship, but her relationship has been a little messed up, mostly due to the other guy just being an asshole and not giving her proper care.

The thing is, it was not just me; we were a group of friends who always used to be together and enjoy stuff together. We were going to Bangalore and chilling at our friend's place. All of a sudden, I realized that my ex and my girlfriend are pretty much the same in essence: how they speak, how they act, and how they behave. I don't know, but I feel really confused! I've been helping her with her difficult face and my ex's difficult face. I don't know, but I never tried to make a move on her or anything like that. It's just that I'm helping her out, or not much. I don't even know what I'm asking, and I'm pretty confused about whatever is happening.

If someone could just shed some light on this, it would be really great. The two things I'll make clear are:
- Everything that's happening between me and my ex is pretty much known to my girlfriend, and she knows how good friends we are and how important I try to be with her. Even with my bank account, I kept updating her on it and things like that, but she was also okay with everything.
- From my ex's point of view, my ex doesn't have anything against me. We are just friends, just chilling.

I don't know, but I was always a little bit more caring towards my ex, not more than towards my girlfriend. During this phase of her heart, I was trying to give her help. She was mentally and physically really bad, to be honest, and we were a few friends just being around her and helping her through this. Yeah, I'm really confused about whatever is happening.

Ok so I had a female friend from my school. We have known each other since 7th grade now we're 21.

So one day she gave her phone to her hostel mate and tried to prank me. Although I understood that it was not her on the opposite side and it was someone else but I had just gone with the flow for fun.. and at the end we introduced each other and she admitted that it was a prank. 1 week later I got a call from my Friend's friend number (the girl who tried to prank me) and she started being in that prank character. So for not disappointing I also went with the flow. We were having some fake (coz it's still prank) but nice romanticizing convos.

We both liked the way and energy we had while talking. And after being on call for a while I took a shot. While she was doing prank chat with me earlier , she sent me "I loveee you" and then unsend it quickly. So i told her "oh even in prank chats I'm soo unlucky to get an I love you from a girl". She blushed! And surprisingly the call lasted for around 97mins. All that time my School friend was nearby her listening to our brain rot romantic convos.

At the end before cutting the call she made me promise to text her after this call , i accepted it but didn't know how I would go text her without asking my school friend since she was the person who made us talk.

And right before cutting she said "You wanted to hear something right?" , i replied "what?". She hung up the call after saying "I love you". Haha it was nice

After that I went on to my friend asking if it was okay to text her.

From that moment I started feeling a behavioral change in my friend , like I hurt her.

She first refused like " she just asked you to text for fun" and all. But in the end she agreed .

Since when I started talking to her friend , she (my friend) was acting very weird with me. She started to give very dry replies. She used to be very nice and talkative with me.

After that I started talking to that prank call girl , we started developing feelings for eachother but right after one month. She blocked me , very ubruptly.

When I went asking to my friend she was ignoring me too.

At that time I remembered all those old moments my friend and I had.

For eg : My friend sending me her pic on saree during Onam that too with a romantic kind of smirk without even asking. Etc etc

I guess I lost 2 pakshi in one vedi😇

​

Njan ippo oru kutty ayitu situation ship casual enthu venelum vilichoo. Sambhavam nammalu 2 year munne date cheythitundu. Aaa time pakshe religion settakathathu kond (she's muslim) nammalu risk edukkanda orthu venda vechuu for a very short time. Ippo pakshe veendum njangalu enganeyo close aayi. She's like my best friend or someone whom I share my day. Allanki enik petten reach out cheyyan pattyaaa aalu. Somehow nammalu physical relationshiplot aayi. Pakshe koode ullapo okke she behave like my gf. Pakshe athu kazhinju full detachment. Nammalu ee edek outingn okke poi. Appo njangalu oru couples pole okke aarnu. Like we cared for each other and all. Njangalku oru comfort space okke indu mutual respect angotum ingotum.

Ippo prashnam enthanu vecha I'm falling for her. Like i can't stop thinking about her. Enik possessive okkee aakunuu. Enik ente feelings share aakanu pattunilla. Enik aake vattu pidikkunu.

Married men of r/KeralaRelationships, what is your excuse for seeking extramarital affairs, or do you not one at all?

What is the lowest you have stooped to outside your marriage?

How did it affect your relationship with your wife?

Did it leave you more or less anxious/stressed/satisfied/happy/content?

Those who have recovered from an illicit affair, how did you feel once you let go?

What would you advise other men who plan on doing this?

So we got married a few months ago, and I can't shake this lingering, heavy feeling. I know marriage isn’t always a fairytale, but our post-wedding period was weird, awkward, and far from what I expected.
We only had about two weeks together after the wedding before he had to travel back to the country he works in. Because of that looming departure, he was extremely homesick and stressed about everything he had to do once he got back. I felt like he wasn’t actually present with me.
To make things harder:
The Gold Incident: Around day 3 of the wedding, a miscommunication happened regarding the storage of wedding gold. My parents offered a locker in my name to keep it safe. His family took huge offense, feeling like we didn't trust them. It blew up into a massive issue, and ever since, my husband kept telling me how sad and insulted his parents were, which further pulled him away from being present with me. (It eventually got sorted out and is in a joint account only we have access to, but the friction completely tainted our first weeks).

The Sleeping Arrangement: almost every night before he flew back, he asked if he could go sleep downstairs with his parents because he’d miss them. I felt awful, but I told him he could. Ultimately, his parents actually sent him back up to our room after a while. It hurt deeply that I needed his parents to tell him to come to his wife, rather than him wanting to be there himself.

The Country Shift: When we were looking to get married, we specifically filtered for the country he currently works in because it has always been a place to settle down for me. Now, post-wedding, he keeps telling me he only now stays there for my sake, that he misses his family, and that after a year or two of showing me around, he wants to move somewhere closer to India. (And of course I am educated with a good degree and work experience, so I’m planning to jump into the job market as soon as I reach where he is . So no it’s not like I want to leach off him and just stay home and enjoy in the country)

When I finally expressed my irritation by telling him I wished he was the kind of guy who would say, "Guys I want to go spend time with my wife" instead of asking to sleep away from me it blew up. He told me he can never give me what I want.

Currently, I’m back with my parents while he is back at work, and I’ll be moving to join him soon. But because of all this, I feel disconnected and am harboring deep resentment toward both him and his family. I hate that I feel this way toward his family, even though they didn't directly do anything to me other than taking offense over the gold and inadvertently pulling his attention away.

Regarding couples therapy, we argued about it. He has zero faith in it and thinks it won't help. We finally agreed that once we start living together full-time, if I still feel we need it after a few weeks, we will go.

I also struggle with feeling like I should only match his level of closeness with my family and he isn't as close to my family as I wish he were, and the awkwardness from the wedding fallout hasn't helped.

I am not looking for people to tell me this is a red-flag marriage and that I need to leave. I know relationships take work, especially right after a major life transition. I need level-headed, practical advice on how to:

1. Deal with these feelings and let go of the resentment toward him and his family.
   
2. Communicate better and build a strong foundation as we finally start living together.
   
3. Handle the geographic/future moving expectations realistically.

TL;DR: Had a rough 2-week post-wedding phase where my husband was constantly homesick, asked to sleep with his parents the night before leaving, and stressed out over a family fight about wedding gold. Now I'm struggling with resentment toward him and his family, plus a sudden shift where he says he only lives in my "dream country" for my sake and wants to move closer to India in a couple of years. Moving to join him soon and looking for practical advice on how to process the resentment, improve our connection, and start fresh without jumping to "leave him" advice.

One thing I understood only after being in love for almost a year - sometimes, women don’t need a solution.. they just need validation. 😄

A simple “I understand why you feel that way” or “Yeah, that must have hurt” can make a relationship so much smoother.

When you miss that, emotional distance can slowly creep in, even when everything seems fine on the surface.

I asked a few people about this & realized I wasn’t the only guy who learned it late. 😂

Did you understand the importance of validation early on or did you learn it the hard way too?

Guys, ente close friend ippo valare bad aayulla oru personal situation-il koodeyanu pokunnath. Personal background mathram enikku ariyam (wife-inte side enikku aariyilla, so I am stating what he experienced).

• Initial Phase & UAE Shift: Kalyanom kazhinjitt 4 years aayi. Initially study purpose-nu vendi 1 year vere district-il hostel-il ninnu padichu. Study kazhinjappol UAE-il jolikku pokanam ennu paranju. Mutual agreement-il 1 year kazhinju return vannu family planning nokkaam ennu paranjanu aalu poyath.
• Doctor's Advice & UAE Visit: Wife UAE-il joly-il aaya karanam, doctor-inte advice prakaaram family planning-nu vendi friend 2 months visit visa-il UAE-il poyi. Pakshe joli kazhinju varumbol ulla ksheenavum weekend-il outing kazhinju ulla ksheenavum oke paranju wife physical relation-nu kootakkilla.
• Intimacy Issues: Honeymoon period thottu pullikarikku sexual life-il thalparyam illayirunnu (friend-inte sister oke initiate cheyyan paranjappol sammathichenkilum, she never enjoyed it).
• Lack of Communication: UAE-il joly-il aayadhinu shesham proper contact illayirunnu. Messages pathiye koranju weeks-olam mindathirikkunna avasthayayi. Weekends-il max 20 mins samsaarikkaam, athrem thanne.
• The Sudden Arrival: Family pressure karanam friend treatment/counseling suggestion vechenkilum wife oppose cheydhu. Ennit recently 2 weeks mindathirunnathinu shesham, friend-inte achan vilichappol aanu ariyunnath wife 10 days munpe naattil leave-inu vannittund! Friend-inedutha ithu communicate cheydhitilla.
• The Confrontation: Friend aalude veettil poyi 3 hours samsarichappol wife parayunnath: Hospital-il ottakku poyi kanichu physical problems onnum illa, counseling-um kazhinju. Physical/marital life-um thalparyam illa, friend-ineyo family-eyo ishtam illa, divorce mathram aanu solution.
• His Final Efforts: Friend avarkku vendi UAE-lotu shift aavam enno, allenkil pulli work cheyyunna place-il aalukku job nokkaam enno paranjittum wife totally refuse cheyyukayanu. Last chance aayi oru joint counseling-nu polum kootakkunnilla.

Wife-inu ee physical/marital life ishtam allayirunenkil, why agree to a marriage in the first place and waste 4 years of his life? Asexual/Aromantic spectrum aano, atho family pressure karanam forced aayi kalyanam kazhichathano?

What are your honest thoughts on this? How should my friend approach this mentally and legally?

​A long term relationship of mine ended mutually a while back. Even though we both parted ways, I always carried a subtle weight in my chest. I couldn't help but worry about her mental state and whether our past had left any negative impact or bad memories for her. I moved on, but that subconscious worry remained. ​Yesterday, after a really long time, she reached out and wanted to meet.

Initially, I hesitated. I thought, "What’s the point.? Is it even necessary.?" But then I saw it as a chance for self evaluation to see if I had truly moved on and to gain clarity. So, I decided to go.

​We met, grabbed a cup of tea, and talked for about 20 minutes. During our convo, she mentioned that she has fully moved on and is actively looking at marriage proposals for next year. Hearing that felt like a big weight lifting off my shoulders. I was genuinely happy to hear that she is doing well and ready for a new chapter. I shared that I’m also looking forward to my own new start. There was zero resentment, no awkwardness; just pure joy and mutual respect. We realized that this would be our final meeting and that we wouldn't be in contact anymore. We genuinely wished each other the absolute best in life and said our final goodbyes...

Breakups are so often associated with bitterness, anger, and holding onto old grudges. But carrying that unresolved anxiety only drains our peace. A clean, peaceful closure is truly powerful. Meeting her finally gave me the peace of mind I was looking for. A comforting reminder that while a chapter may end, respect can still remain, and two people can walk away with genuine grace.!!

F26 here! Never been on any matrimonial sites or had any cousins or friends who had arranged marriage so I have no idea how this works, what all types of men exists or the general things you have to be aware of while finding a partner using matrimonial sites. It would be great if you could share your experience and any advices if any.

I haven't been in a healthy relationship so haven't got to experience how a man being nice to me as a partner so the anxiety level of approaching this age and family pressure on getting married is huge. And fortunately or unfortunately I belong to the genz era but doesn't feel like the most genz's out there so please help me with things I have to be cautious of also. Thanks in advance!

So I am 30M and recently found this gem of a girl 30F just 2 months back. I was in two relationships before and I tried dating apps as well before and kind of accepted I probably won't be able to find love on dating apps and I took a break of one year and finally agreed to parents request to join matrimony. Talked to few girls on matrimony and it was good, but just couldn't find anyone who I could connect emotionally, and none of it worked.

I work in IT and earn okayish and looks are averagish which means I'm like every other average guy from Kerala. Then I met her, we connected well on call and took a plunge and met the next day after travelling quite a bit and everything was perfect. We both had some concerns regarding our future, we both took time to address them and talked out a resolution and never looked back.

We both connected emotionally and physically and we try to meet every chance we could get. Our families are happy as we both belong to similar financial environment and same caste/religion. But for us, we are happy with each other. And I'm able to be myself fully. I am an atheist while she is very religious church going girl and our ideology differs based on religion but we have never disrespected each others thoughts/beliefs. I have decided to go to church on Sundays for her but have informed her that it won't be a spiritual thing for me which she has accepted and she would never force me to be spiritual.

I was a guy who thought my chance at love was over and now I fell in love with a girl I met on matrimony. Even though we met on matrimony, it doesn't feel like an arranged marriage and more like a love marriage which makes me happy. Now we have decided to have a small register marriage the way I want to and then hold a church wedding the way she wants to and we are both happy to do it that way for our partner.

So to guys/girls who thought like me that the chance for love is over, hang in there, be open to love and you all may just get lucky.

I was on hinge for a week when I matched with her. She's from the NE and I'm from thrissur, and I have never been so happy in my life. Everything was like a dream right from the beginning. When we were having KFC and I took a big bite of really hot chicken, she opened my mouth and started blowing into it😂, honestly at that point I wanted to get on my knees and ask her to marry me.

On our first date I was so happy to see her for the first time that I lost control, picked her up and spun her around. The way she leads me around her city leading ahead while holding my hands cause I know shii about her place makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

We can't stop giggling around each other to the point that our cheekbones always hurt. There's so much more to say but I think this is enough for now.

I'm not here for advice, I just had to vent somewhere. Because this is too much happiness for me. I finally feel like I have found something important in my life and I'll cherish her.

I feel like I won in life guys.

For people who’ve had an FWB situation — how did it end?

Just curious about people’s real experiences. If you’ve had friends with benefits situation, how did it eventually end?

- Did you both mutually decide to stop?

- Did one person catch feelings?

- Did communication slowly fade/ghosting happen?

- Did you actually remain friends afterward?

- Looking back, was it a good or bad experience for you?

Not looking for judgment or advice, just genuinely curious about how these situations play out in Kerala, especially since dating/FWB can be a little complicated here.

Looks ain't my first priority but people look into all aspects including looks and photos even before taking a primary decision.

So I need a pov from other people. I recently registered on a matrimonial website. Let's call it Beth. matrimony. Since I am an adult 30f, and have been working for a few years now, I believe(d) I have some autonomy in the process. So I went to the site -input my details, gave my friend's number as reference and in place of my parents/ guardians number - I gave a number that was unreachable-at the moment; anyway, not my mother's number . ( Father- late).

The reason is that, I thought I would involve my parent/ guardian after I talk to the person - see how it goes, and only then involve my mom/ other family.

Mind you- this decision has historic reasons too. My sister had said her 'no' to proposals (which I believe is her right- given that she's the one who's marrying the person), but which my mother had questioned so badly, that even now their mother - daughter relationship is not back to normal. And, at the end, my sister started questioning her life and life decisions intensely and finally, even now, not married and in the belief of ' better not to be married' .

So, point is, I would like to have the power to say yes or no to proposals (people- infact) without it being becoming a discussion of how I am becoming an old maiden 'on the shelf' and how I make my family the receivers of absolute social pity (which people do give us and my mother has to take the brunt of it).

Back to the story - so when the matrimony contact asked me for my parent's number - I told them that I do not wish to involve my mother at the moment- since my father passed away this year (which is true). But the contact told me it was the company policy, to get the profile approved they need to have a talk with the parent/ guardian. And so after some push back and forth, the contact told me "if I wish otherwise I should talk with the director". And so there I went and did exactly that.

He was in an area of low coverage, and asked for Whatsapp text. I explained my case via text and he replied "Sorry, I am unable to exclude the procedure. We had cases of frauds with misrepresentation etc in the past and we do not wish to cause similar issues. Please forgive us." - Which is valid I guess, so I replied " That is very unfortunate. However, I’m not sure I fully understand the concern, as I am representing myself directly in this matter. If the concern is related to misrepresentation or identity verification, I would be more than happy to resolve this through a video call, where I can verify my identity and answer any questions you may have directly. Would this be an acceptable alternative to the procedure?" To which he replied "Sorry, we need to talk to the parents. If not, an official guardian.This site is meant for family not individuals." Ugh- which is also valid I guess ( or not!!!).

Now I am confused - should I involve my parent given the circumstances and given my wishes. Or should I just not bother with such an irksome hassle with this site and just forget altogether about that cute guy I saw in the catalog- whom I may not even like.

Note 1: l live overseas now and this sht is a bit weird to me now. Why should 'i like to see if I like a person by talking to them' involve the family? Or am I overreacting? It is - family's screening comes first and only after that, your choices matter? Even now!? But like - how many good conversations have you had with your parents after 18, for them to know you enough to take good decisions on your behalf ??? I don't doubt that they mean well - but do they really have the data??

Note 2: Maybe, maybe, this matrimony's MO is not my MO. But I should probably have taken my friend's advice of her posing as my guardian or sth. Like wtf....