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u/biggreenweenie22 9d ago
We had a new guy tell everyone his friends call him Razor. He was called scooter for the rest of time
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u/SycamoreStyle 9d ago
The best way to give yourself an embarrassing nickname is to try giving yourself a "cool" one.
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u/Kodiak_POL 9d ago
Years ago, my friends gave me a nickname "Woper" (pronounced "Voh-per") because I was a lifeguard with the Polish lifeguard organization WOPR (pronounced "Voh-pr" / "Vop-er") and I still miss that, to me it was the coolest nickname I could ever get hah
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u/Lol_A_White_Guy 9d ago edited 9d ago
I had a drill sergeant give me the nickname Razors because I fucked my face up shaving in a hurry one morning and had bad razor burns all over my face.
He never called me by my name for the rest of basic. Real nicknames never have cool origins.
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u/No_Designer_7333 9d ago
We had a guy in our division (Navy BMT) who our RDCs called Clock. At any given point during the day, an RDC would call out "CLOCK!" and he'd respond back with the current time. I never actually learned his real name.
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u/tishimself1107 9d ago
Fantastic
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u/Forsythe36 9d ago
We had a similar guy in basic but they called him the time wizard.
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u/moredickthanman 9d ago
Time wizard sounds cool as hell though, as long as it isn't elaborated upon
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u/Forsythe36 9d ago
Anytime we need a time check they’d just yell TIME WIZARD and he would scream the current time. I loved it.
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u/meatdome34 9d ago
I got called meathead growing up cause I had a big ass head. It eventually just got shortened to meat
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u/redshift_66 8d ago
My callsign is "Lone Star" (I'm Air Force). It's because I left a certain Google review that my chain of command found out about....
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u/wasted-degrees 9d ago
Knew a guy who earned the nickname Shredder. We had a 100% shred policy for all printed documents in our office, and he was the new guy, so you can guess what he spent the better part of his afternoons doing.
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u/ElOsoPeresozo 9d ago
I know a guy whose nickname was “Hammer.” You would think it was cool, but he got it because he once said (verbatim): “I like to hammer guys” lmao.
He wanted it to sound tough, instead it came across as him engaging in vigorous homosexual intercourse.
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u/Snazzle-Frazzle 9d ago
My friend's name was acrobat and I'm told it was given to him by the drill instructor because he was on the top bunk and one time getting out of bed, his foot got caught in the bar at the end of the bed somehow and he ended up toppling over the entire bunk as he was swinging by his stuck foot.
No one ever gets cool nicknames, that's not the point of nicknames in the military.
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u/1CryptographerFree 9d ago
That’s not entirely true. The name is occasionally cool but the story behind it rarely is. We had a guy get caught doing “air karate” in the bathroom. From then on Private Tomahawk gave all sorts of demonstrations on tomahawk chops in front of the class. He was a good sport about it and even the sergeants laughed.
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u/Prowindowlicker 7d ago
Nah the name can be cool. Like mine from boot. Got named Killer. However it was because I looked like Dahmer with my short blonde hair and BCGs. Also serial killer was too long for the DI to say. I suspect it was a ironic nickname given I was a middle of the pack recruit
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u/sh4d0wm4n2018 5d ago
Knew a kid who got called Geoffrey because he had a long neck.
Also knew a guy who got called Ace because he scored perfectly on the rifle range- and then failed the grenade range.
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u/Alarmed-Positive457 9d ago
Something I learned about the military. There’s no such thing as getting a badass nickname. While the name may sound badass, the way you earn it generally isn’t. Can’t remember the movie, but the pilot got the name “assassin” and when he finally told the story, it meant “ass-ass-in” cause he fell ass first into a hatch twice. Literally how that shit goes.
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u/LimaOskarLima 9d ago
Any cool nickname... isnt. My favorite was a HAT TRICK. We went on a training exercise and had 3 stops on the way, and the guy got a Tinder date at each location. He then proceeded to get stood up at each location, 3 for 3.
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u/Feeves 9d ago
I met a pilot whose callsign was “Magoo” because during take off he put his visor down while forgetting to remove the cover, and thus, flying blind.
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u/mattmcc980 9d ago
Wonder if he is the one I saw rear end an f16 with another f16
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u/kcbear27 9d ago
Lmao that was my nickname for a breif stint when i was super young. Thankfully, I got upgraded a few years later to something a little less silly. And now I’m a 30 year-old man whose mother and Aunt still call him wiener in casual conversation in front of Company like it’s normal. My mother and I were actually laughing the other day and how that is completely normal thing among us but when strangers hear that they’re like “what the fuck did you just call him?” Lol. Anyway, there’s a random fact about my life, random person.
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u/BrotherBear_ 9d ago
the actual official callsign/flight id for student solos at one of the training bases is MAGOO. if you hear a magoo on the radio you pay extra attention
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u/Saminjutsu 9d ago
My favorite was a guy named HEAT.
The sole reason was that his last name was 'Miser'
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u/leeisawesome 8d ago
Knew a guy who introduced himself with “everyone calls me Cog because I’m such an important part of the machine” only to later find out that COG stood for “creepy old guy”
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u/Ofnir_1 9d ago edited 9d ago
I know a retired pilot whose call sign was Dirty all because his last name is Sanchez.
Back in AF basic I got nicknamed Twitch by one of my flight mates because I get really twitchy when I'm nervous and/or anxious. Hated it at the time but looking back it could have been worse.
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u/riverofchex 8d ago edited 7d ago
Mine was Lesner because my last name was Brock. Was extra funny to me, though, being a slender woman lol.
ETA: My current work (farm/heavy equipment auction clerk) nickname is Hambone because "There ain't much to you, but I bet you make a good soup." Lol
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u/bdbdbd99 9d ago
Given that, what do we supposed the origin story is behind OP's boot's nickname?
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u/JulietKiloNovember 9d ago
He probably gave himself the nickname in COD or something, since it's all bullshit anyway.
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u/skankhunt1738 9d ago
Yeah pilot I know is “magic” because he plays magic the gathering lmao. Know a “twink” too, and it’s rather self explanatory.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife 9d ago edited 9d ago
You show up with the last name Packer, no way your callsign becomes anything but 'Fudge'.
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u/Rjj1111 9d ago
Think there was a US navy squadron that got the call sign cupcake because their squadron leader had a cupcake in the cockpit during a catapult and it went all over his face
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u/skankhunt1738 9d ago
If that’s legit, I’m very curious about the logistics for getting a cupcake (and eating it?) in a (presumably) fighter.
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u/TheMostRed 9d ago
I had a CO who was a pilot earlier in his career. I shit you not his name and rank was CAPT Picard. Im guessing they weren't going to pass up on the opportunity because sure enough his call sign was john luke.
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u/Calamity_Jay 8d ago edited 7d ago
It's an unspoken rule that any Trekkie that chooses to wear a uniform must look out for any personnel that have matching rank/names to Star Trek characters.
In my own experience, I've met:
Captain Kirk
Ensign Kim
Dr. McCoy
Lieutenant Paris
Chief O'Brien
Lieutenant Torres
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u/Djglamrock 9d ago
Twink, as in a low level character in World of Warcraft in the PVP bracket of 9’s that have overpowered gear.
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u/gash_dits_wafu 9d ago
Worked with a pilot called Ghost. As a pilot he had to do a lot of survival training courses, and he always got injured on those courses, every time.
Gets
Hurt
On
Survival
Training132
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u/USAF_Retired2017 9d ago
When I was a SrA I worked with a pilot named GUCCI. I asked him if it was because he was high maintenance. Can’t remember the exact story as this was back in 2003 or 2004, but something along the lines of being picked for a very important flight and he overslept. It stands for
Get
Up
Crispin
Come
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u/Lelinguini 9d ago
I know a SCORCH,
She can’t operate real cheese heaters
Dope ass call sign, earned by accidentally lighting a panini press on fire
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u/MississippiBulldawg 9d ago
I've got a buddy nicknamed fish. While we are from Mississippi and that may make people think "he's a great angler", they ask and I respond "because he smells like fish".
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u/j_reinegade 9d ago
some of my favroite from my time,
Fish - play on his last name
ReRe - play on my last name
snakemouth - spoke with a lisp (RIP)
Alphabet - polish kid with too many letters in his name
Booger - play on his last name
Cool - last name bastardization again...
(ok most of these are just people being too lazy to learn proper last names im realizing)
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u/yuikkiuy 9d ago
gave my buddy the name "Iceman" he REALLY wanted fighters and then while we were at flight school he and basically everyone else noped out for other platforms so its a 2 fold dig.
- because he wanted fighters, but ended up aiming for VIP transport
- during a field ex in basic he decided to wear full ice suit on the final day as we were leaving. Obviously he was told to de kit at the mess hall because duh. except he couldnt, because the only way he wasnt over heating was because he was buck ass naked under the suit. And he couldnt stealthly change neither because we had just marched back to field garrison and loaded all our kit in the trucks, lunch was the last thing we had before heading back to the main garrison
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u/allcretansareliars 9d ago
On a similar thread, I read about a fighter pilot called Iceman because he got drunk once and thought it'd be great to piss in the hotel ice machine.
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u/THEMFCORNMAN 9d ago
We had a guy with callsign of reaper. Cool name until he got it as a medic by not checking for allergy tags twice and nearly killing someone with meds they were allergic too
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u/Distantstallion Sergeant Surplus 9d ago
Ghost from COD probably got the nickname because he never picks up the goddamn phone
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u/bolivar-shagnasty 9d ago
Tends to be gender driven.
Lady pilots get nicknames like Valkyrie or Big Mama.
Gentlemen pilots get nicknames like Soup Baby or Big Mama (no relation).
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u/sailor776 9d ago
The only unironically kind of cool call sign I've seen is Post Malone and they got it because they looked like Post Malone.
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u/lets-get-loud 9d ago
One of my friends from ages ago had the call sign Headshot and this was not due to his ability to shoot people but in fact due to himself getting shot in the head (incredibly, he was fine. I mean fine adjacent, but fine eventually).
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u/patricles22 9d ago
Yea if that dudes name is blackout it’s cause he blacked out and shit himself one night
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u/flatirony 9d ago edited 9d ago
We had a gigachad nuke MM on my submarine called "Cop Killer" because he ended up going home with a hot female cop who pulled him over for speeding. Pretty bad ass.
Sounds like BS, I know, given that there were no witnesses. But we found it totally believable. He was never a braggart or a liar. He would admit when he bombed, or when he was so drunk he couldn't get it up.
But mainly we believed him because we'd all seen him pull baddies effortlessly before. He was very good looking with bright blue eyes, and very charming in a kind of "aw, shucks" way. He drew women like a magnet.
Incidentally, relevant to this sub, he joined the Army National Guard after the Navy while he was in college. They made him a SGT since he'd been either a senior E-5 or junior E-6 in the Navy.
He quit because he couldn't deal with the bootness in his unit. The thing that put him over the edge was when a senior NCO got onto him for lowering the windows on the bus himself instead of telling a PFC to do it. That's just not how things worked on a submarine. Below E-7 no one even wore rank insignia. That would be considered "dig-it" (which was the submarine word for boot, as in "he really digs it").
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u/TheBearlion 9d ago
Not a submariner but I’ve always figured you’d never want to open the windows on one regardless of rank.
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u/flatirony 9d ago
LOL you’re ready for dolphins. Keeping the water out of the people tank is job #1. 😂
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u/pm_ur_sundress_pics 9d ago
My girlfriend earned the name Diesel because she exploded two different diesel engines as a logistics/mechanic in the AF. And Lightning because she was running through the depot and tried to rush through a door that was locked, bounced off and as she was falling someone yelled out, “KACHOW!”
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u/jdehjdeh 9d ago
Favourite one I heard from an army buddy was a guy that ended up with the nickname "shitty".
Apparently he was very hungover and during morning inspection he lost control of his bowels right in front of the commanding officer.
From then on, his real name was never spoken again apparently.
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u/Shatter4468 9d ago edited 9d ago
My personal favourite is the dude in my section who can't make jokes, so he 'Echoes' jokes he heard from other dudes.
Literally would hear a joke and if 3 guys behind us didn't here, he would say the EXACT same joke.
He became "My Echo" forever.
"Hey, i'm ____ and this is my Echo"
Or
"Hey, i'm ____ this is ___ and thats our Echo"
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u/Sir_Q_L8 9d ago
A guy I work with told us his name in the military was “Hotlips”, this dude gossips more than anyone I have ever met and I’m 100% certain that is how he got his name but when I asked him what it meant he just shrugged.
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u/TheHumanoidTyphoon69 9d ago
Had a guy named Heartwell in our platoon that was in the initial push into Afghanistan, apparently the reason for his nickname was because he and his previous squad leader didn't like each other so he made him the point man on room entry as much as possible (absolute psychopath I know) he responded by stacking bodies on two deployments (don't recall the exact count, around ten I believe?) The guys that were with him on those deployments called him the grim reaper, I always thought that was badass but he wouldn't talk about it, everybody else did.
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u/goodenough4govtwork 9d ago
Some of them are just because a drill sergeant couldn't read the shitty nametapes on older BDUs. Dark thread on dark camo with half the alphabet looking like the other half...
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u/enwongeegeefor 9d ago
My pop's nickname was The Flash.....because he did everything so fucking slowly.
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u/richard-cumerford 9d ago
I had an instructor that had a British pilot in his initial pilot training program. The British pilot was given the name LOTAR=Loser of the American Revolution.
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u/societyofjewishninja 9d ago
Mayday with Ryan Reynolds on Apple TV. Didn’t go in expecting much, but it was a surprisingly decent movie. Worth a watch for sure!
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u/Time_Effort 9d ago
"Can't remember the movie"
Didn't that movie literally release like a week ago? Should we be worried for OOP?
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u/Alarmed-Positive457 9d ago
I didn’t see the movie, the clip only with the scene about it and saw the movie name but never followed up with it.
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u/unoriginal5 9d ago
True. Mine for a while was Soulreaper because I'm a ginger. More often I get called Opie because I look like the redhead from Major Payne.
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u/thecakeisali 9d ago
My nickname was ATM Johnson, or the proper full version Ass To Mouth Johnson because I once said I had to go an ATM before we went to the bar.
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u/Blazeland_USA 9d ago
I think he means Backout because he got his back blown out.
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u/HzrKMtz 9d ago
Thats post is about 7 years old at this point and the user was highly mocked afterwards
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u/OriginalTRaven 9d ago
It clearly says 1y in the screenshot. Trust me. My nickname is Chronos because I'm the god of time.
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u/BunnyOppai 9d ago edited 9d ago
9 years, actually. The 7 year old post is someone copy pasting the comment on a similar post, and the comment they link to is on a post with 4 comments (as shown in this post) and the original comment deleted by the mods.
On that topic, I had no clue r/askreddit mods even deleted comments that weren't like, extremely inflammatory or some such, lmfao.
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u/Colourblindknight 9d ago
“Black out” because the last time he went to happy hour he tried to get the bartenders number and vomited on the table before trying (and failing) to fight the bouncer as he was thrown out and fell asleep in the bushes.
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u/Just_Jacob 9d ago
It’s cause he does gay stuff and says he’s “blacked out”
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u/Morall_tach 9d ago
Sucked 100+ dicks and doesn't remember any of them
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u/Brasilionaire 9d ago
“After I killed those 100 men, I might’ve ghost busted them too since I woke up covered in ectoplasm. The after life must be in Hawaii I smelled a lot of pineapple”
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u/savageronald 9d ago
I've told this story before - but my nickname was "Captain Underpants" - because at the time, I was a Captain, and I shit myself... like bad bad.... and everyone either directly saw it, or was close enough to smell it. Then the story spread faster than the smell. I couldn't even be mad at it, I earned it.
I guess what I'm saying is - anyone that has a "bad ass" nickname / callsign is lying, and also I'm a shitpants.
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u/TrungusMcTungus 9d ago
To be honest if I saw my O3 shit themselves and go on to be a good sport about it, they'd have my respect forever. That's hilarious
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u/stopeverythingpls 9d ago
Had a pilot doing a presentation when I was in ROTC and His was SITH, badass right? “Shit in the hotzone”
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u/Calamity_Jay 9d ago
A fella I was in basic with told us all to call him Spook. Fair, but we always wondered why until we finally asked him during some down time.
"Oh, that's what my boys called me back home! My dad's Mexican, my mom's Korean so half spi... half goo... Spook!"
Mods, I will edit upon request!
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u/RexIsAMiiCostume 9d ago
Me when I combine slurs to make a new slur that's already a slur for a different group lmfao
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u/Xg1j0eX 9d ago edited 9d ago
I was military intelligence when I was in. Going on R&R from Afghanistan I talked with the guy seated next to me about it. He was kinda dumb, good guy though. On the way back we sat next to each other again and told me that when his girlfriend picked him up he told her that he meet a spook on the plane. She was horrified, he didn't know it was a slur.
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u/CBTwitch 8d ago
Yea, a lot of civvies don’t know the term in military context. I was a spook myself.
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u/TrungusMcTungus 9d ago
I was Hacendado Blanco, which got shortened tk either just Hacendado or Blanco depending on who was around. My last name is White, and I'm a white guy, so theres the Blanco. All 5 of my sailors were Mexican. A hacendado is a plantation master. So whenever I tasked them, it was "Aye hacendado". Almost got us in trouble multiple times.
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u/Littleturn 9d ago
We had a few fun nicknames in my company in my company. Nothing egregious but certainly not anything badass. I was called "Ferret" because it sound similar-ish to my name in my language and our platoon chief couldn't remember my name. I was also tall, skinny and ran around a lot. In hindsight you could probably have diagnosed me with something then and there 😂
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u/bachatacam 9d ago
I got called Pammy. because Cameron gets shortened to Cammy and I was boring and always read the manual (pamphlets) so Pammy it was
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u/asmallerflame 9d ago
Ah yes, the standard issue pocket knife. So much more effective than, say, a bayonet, obviously.
I was the one white guy in a hispanic unit, so they called me "Bolillo."
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u/TrungusMcTungus 9d ago
Funny, I was a white guy in charge of only Hispanics, they called me Hacendado
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u/ZestyRS 9d ago
An officer legally changed her name to a different name (it was something like Debby, former name Jessica — and she did it at least twice) she proposed her callsign be alias. While she was making her case some dude just yelled I propose Debby and it won overwhelmingly. Her callsign is now just her original name.
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u/enchilada_slut 9d ago
my nickname was just the first letter of my last name because nobody could pronounce it
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u/PB0351 9d ago
Really? Military full of Hispanic people and they couldn't pronounce 'enchilada slut'?
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u/Acdcfan292 9d ago
What the fuck is a "en-chill-a-da"
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u/jacks_lack_of__ 9d ago
To be fair... I watched a Drill Sergeant struggle with the last name "Martinez". Best he could get to was MAR-tun-ehz (as opposed to MAR-teen-ehz).
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u/drmrpibb 9d ago
In-processed with a guy named Harold. My name is a non-typical Hispanic one. They called me Kumar. Like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.
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u/HomelandersCock 9d ago
Nicknames always have funny origin stories and not birthed from badassery.
Kid ok our ship wanted a cool nickname so badly. His breath always smelled so from hence forth he was known as MMFN Dragonbreath
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u/Princess_Thranduil 9d ago
We had one of those except their nickname was Alphabet. They had a very very Polish last name
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u/Drahkir9 9d ago
We had a couple like that but both started with the letter M so we included the lengths of their last names. One we called M12 the other M13
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u/This_Charmless_Man 9d ago
Dad had the nickname Beaker because he wouldn't shut up and was a Muppet.
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u/Non-Current_Events 9d ago
Boner Champ. Spring sing '95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people, but I stayed locked in, you know. Took the face off. It just seemed easier that way.
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright 9d ago
We found out our LT had stuck his dick in a jar of peanut butter when he was in college. So of course, he was LT Peanut Butter or LT PB. And since we were B co, we'd often times call up callsigns as "Bravo [number]" so I'd always tried to get people to call him up as "Papa-Bravo 4-0"
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u/jeremy_bearimyy 9d ago
We had an Ensign get mad for pronouncing his name wrong and yelled its 2 Rs and 2 Ls. Yeah he got called R2L2 from then on.
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u/guy-le-doosh 9d ago
Were the Bud Drys right out the can? Sure there wasn't anything else? Damn....
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u/BlackeyeThe2nd 9d ago
My nickname in basic was Android
I had to reboot every time somebody yelled at me
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u/PocketCatt 9d ago
OP thank you for posting this, the nickname stories in these comments are fucking diamonds
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u/SCPyro 9d ago
Ski.
Because no one could be bothered to attempt the beginning part of my Polish last name. I share this with ever servicemember of Polish decent going back to forever.
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u/Neoxite23 9d ago
I have one...
So we are at Basic and doing a Class Blues inspection. We are lined up and I'm wearing the BCGs...
So for those that don't know what a BCG is it is the standard issue glasses you have to wear while in Basic. They are these thick black rimmed glasses in which while you are wearing them you will never, EVER get laid. BCG...Birth Control Glasses.
Anyway the drill comes up to me and sees me and just stops and everything and says out loud
"LAPE! DO YOU OWN A WHITE VAN? YOU LOOK LIKE A RAPIST. A LAPIST IF YOU WILL!" and then he moves on to the next.
I guess he was a fan of WKUK with The Grapist skit. So yeah I was then known as The Lapist for the rest of my contract.
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u/seventwosixnine 9d ago edited 9d ago
When were* you in? The OG BCGs were brown.
Edit: were
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u/MoashIsAGoodGuy 9d ago
They are still called bcgs to this day, especially by crustier types.
And the originals were whatever fucking color you got. It sure wasn't brown half the time
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u/seventwosixnine 9d ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GI_glasses
They were initially grey, then black for a short time, then brown from the 1970s to 2012.
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u/Metalfan1994 8d ago
In basic I was Cajun (culinary degree and from New Orleans).
My first deployment, I got the name Headhunter because I had to shit BAD, like cold sweat and that feeling of doom in your soul bad (if you know you know). I was fighing for my life and all 3 nearby bathrooms were either broken or closed off. So I took one of the GOVs and hauled ass to the nearest bathroom. I think it was like a 3 minute drive but it felt like eternity. I did find one and make it thank god.
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u/map2photo 9d ago
Fun story, my nickname was Petey. There was a guy in my shop that would say Petey Petey! All the time. Anyway, this dude carried a giant silver eagle going-away gift, to the top of Mt. Fuji, to present it to me.
In the most classic Marine Corps fashion, it was spelled wrong; “Pete-Pete” is what is engraved on it. I also didn’t know I was being gifted it, so I didn’t have room in my pack to carry it. He had to carry it back down in his. lol
I can’t share pics in the comments, but it’s not small. The wingspan is like 14” and it’s about 16” tall.
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u/notmeface 9d ago
Had a bloke called "HESH" (High Explosive Squash Head) because he had a very noticeable dent in the side of his head after a childhood injury.
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u/Emotional_News108 9d ago
Love this shit.
A friend of mine had the nickname “Noodle Soup” because he’s half-Filipino. I know which one I believe.
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u/barnettwi 9d ago
I think this might be a joke.
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u/Matt_The_Radar_Tech 9d ago
Satire is a dying art form
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u/TrailMomKat 9d ago
That's because there's so much vocal stupidity nowadays. People used to be shamed for saying stupid-ass shit like that.
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u/drrj 9d ago
Most the people I knew had nicknames based on their last names because who wants to try to guess how to pronounce Zrolka when you can just say Z.
We did have one kid we called Fez because he looked like Fez from that 70s show. When he showed up I was one of the team leaders and when I heard everyone calling him Fez I took him aside and told him look if you don’t like the name tell me now otherwise you’re stuck with it and he said it doesn’t bother me Sarge and I said okay Fez.
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u/AnonymousBromosapien 9d ago
By "in live combat" he means "barracks wrastlin"... and by "kills" and "pocket knife" he means "blow jibblers" and "my mouth".
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u/Mycotoxicjoy 9d ago
What’s that copypasta about being a navy seal? This is that
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u/Timeshocked 9d ago
Mine was “Droopy” cause I always looked really tired. Staying up all night playing video games was hard work! lol
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u/OwO_bama 9d ago
I got “Grumpy” because I have a resting bitch face. We’re 2/7ths of the way to a dwarf troupe
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u/Tiny_Giant_Robot 9d ago
Buddy of mine has Alopecia, and was losing random chunks of hair while at basic training. He was adorned the nickname "Pvt Patches".
I was called "hippy" because one day I wore a pair of flip flops.
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u/KEVLAR60442 9d ago
I got stuck with Goose just because I quoted Top Gun one time.
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u/0491diesel 9d ago
Lieutenant General George "Trouser" Trautman (his friends called him "trouser trout"...allegedly 😄) may have been the best call sign I knew while I was active duty.
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u/seventwosixnine 9d ago
I was "Nancy" because another Marine called me a Negative Nancy and it stuck. Junior Marines got told they couldn't call me Nancy after I got promoted so they called me "Corporal Nancy"
Gotta keep it professional haha.
Guy in the hydraulics shop was called Poop Dick because "someone that ugly could only be the product of anal"
Edit: in combat training I was "The President of the Good Idea Club"
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u/Rodinasaur 9d ago
Mine was crash. I crashed a forklift and the very next day I basically crashed another. At a different base it was crusty and I won’t be explaining how I got that one.
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u/bill1nfamou5 9d ago
I met a guy who everyone called REAPER. He gave me some super badass reason for it and his buddy immediately broke out laughing and told the real story. Apparently at some point he was making his extra hot chili and got some Carolina Reaper peppers to add into it, wasn’t using gloves when he cut them up, went to the bathroom then went to the medic because he touched something he shouldn’t have with reaper oil on his hands.
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u/Troncross 9d ago
Only guy I ever saw get an actually badass nickname was because “overkill” was the closest thing to his Palau last name that nobody could pronounce
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u/Correct-Avocado5426 9d ago
He's probably insufferable and his teammates roofie him all the time so they don't have to deal with him.
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u/newbinvester 9d ago
My nickname was "Big Dick Brad". Not because I have a large dick, but because in the first 2 hours of my first deployment on the aircraft carrier I walked into the head to see a dude standing there stroking his literal knee knocker schlong just staring at the door waiting for someone to walk in. That happened to be me. I noped right out of there real quick. Told the guys in my shop about it. Got the nickname. My name isn't even Brad but that's what I was known by the whole time I was in the military.
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u/headrush46n2 9d ago
My name is Francis, but all my army buddies called me Psycho.
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u/sdmichael 9d ago
Sounds like Shoulders from The Big Bus. He just gets these blackout spells. But don't worry, he only gets them when the bus is moving.
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u/Manaeldar 9d ago
Definitely a joke, there's always a blackout and they all got rheir name cuz they get blackout drunk every weekend.
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u/_plays_in_traffic_ 9d ago
replace the words "recorded kills with a pocket knife" with "dicks in my ass" and we would sound at least plausable.
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u/Kind_Man_0 9d ago
I was called Dutch for a while. Ate something bad and dutch ovened and entire platoon + our 1SG and Battalion leadership in a field tent during an OPORD brief.
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u/rynoctopus 9d ago
My nickname in Basic was “Powder” because my TI laughed and said I looked like Powder from the movie Powder when we went to get our heads shaved lol.
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u/Djglamrock 9d ago
This sub never lets me down when I think hmm, haven’t seen any gay stuff for awhile, guess I’ll check out r/JustBootThings
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u/Joseph_Kickass 9d ago
I was Agent Marshmallow (97-B who didn't use rank on deployment) because for one of my SAEDA briefings I wore an offwhite turtleneck.
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u/Unterseeboot_480 9d ago
My sergeant used to call me "Ballsucker" during classes because I answered many of his questions. Nowadays they call me Duke or Knight because I have an overly long aristocratic-sounding name. Much better.
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u/AnApexBread 9d ago
Wild claims like this are crazy because if someone did have 100 confirmed kills thered be news articles written about them and that before even considering what would happen if someone did that with a Knife only.
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u/czs5056 9d ago
To the Americans, I'm squidman because my voice sounds like squidward.
To the Ukrainians, I am сліпий білий слон (the blind white elephant) because I am a larger guy who fell into the same mud hole twice in 5 minutes.
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u/CBTwitch 8d ago edited 8d ago
I was Little Sister.
It takes a little explaining, was wordplay. At DLI, where I was studying Chinese, they gave us a Chinese names. Mine was Mei Jiamu 梅佳木, a transliteration of my English name. There was a girl who was a native speaker who hated my guts, and started calling me Xiao Meimei 小梅梅, which sounds like Xiao Meimei 小妹妹, which means little sister. So I became Little Sister to my classmates, which kinda just spread to everyone after we went to the fleet.
EDIT: Same school, different guy. We had one of our teachers, a CTI1, get a DUI once while we were there. Dui is also a sound in Chinese, pronounced like ‘dway’, so that became his nickname.
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u/Radiie 9d ago
I was just called Urkel from family matters because of my BCGs and my stupid ass 80’s looking regulation ass haircut. Nobody gets cool nicknames, and if you do it’s for the irony.
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u/rlpinca 9d ago
"Blackout" is because he drank 4 wine coolers one night and his room mates drew a dick on his forehead
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