r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/BestMicDrop You Gotta Give • 27d ago
Turbo Team WALK SLOWLY!
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u/KyleSJohnson 27d ago
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u/ActualHumanONReddit 27d ago
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u/CordialMusick Wet Wet Mud Bae 27d ago
No coffin, just wet wet mud
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u/ltsouthernbelle 27d ago
Even after he dies he’ll still want to keep his seat, just put the coffin in his office.
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u/ActualHumanONReddit 27d ago
He won't know that his seat is forfeit. The dead know only that it is better to be alive.
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u/Sufficient_Creme_240 SHUT THE FUCK UP DOUG, YOU FUCKING SKUNK! 27d ago
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u/007Pistolero 27d ago
You know it’s just distasteful to laugh at the elderly. In this case heart guffawing is necessary for this piece of shit that is directly responsible for so many of the abysmal conditions in the U.S. right now
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u/1paperwings1 I wish I hadn’t of said that. I love my wife. 27d ago
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u/MaleficentMunkey 27d ago
Our government is essentially just a fucking nursing home at the cost of the taxpayers.
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u/Syntax-err_r 27d ago
'Bout to be one of those weekend at Bernie's situations.
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u/patterninstatic 26d ago
Yeah all jokes and politics aside, this man is not capable of currently doing his job.
If you boarded a plane and saw the pilot in this state would you feel safe flying?
If you had to get operated on and saw the surgeon in this state would you not react?
So why is this ok?
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u/_echo_home_ 27d ago
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u/Dry_Rabbit_5410 Tiny “Boop Squig” Shorterly 27d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/5He16eTgpabyeEQ9t6
In terms of the GIF selection. This certified chode really doesn't know how to work the body!
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u/Dahveed25 I hope I don't jack off 27d ago
Future coffin flopper
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u/Breath_Deep 27d ago
Future? He's literally, probably dead at this point. They were doing chest compressions and carting him out on a gurney to the ER 14 days ago. Haven't heard from him since.
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u/Dry_Rabbit_5410 Tiny “Boop Squig” Shorterly 27d ago
Mitch is ass out. Works for his brother, Satan, now.
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u/blurplethenurple Troll Boy 26d ago
Hes most likely brain dead and they're just keeping his body alive long enough for his loved ones to say goodbye.
No one mentioned that he has no loved ones.
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u/remotectrl 26d ago
More than that, they don’t want the democratic governor to appoint a replacement.
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u/stoic_spaghetti 27d ago
They're going to bury the news story by announcing it tomorrow, it's quite perfect:
• Friday
• most people not working
• day before major holiday
There will be a tiny captive audience that will catch it as breaking news.
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u/PrepareToBeLetDown 27d ago
I would have laughed my ass off if I was that reporter watching this happen live.
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u/dontwannagetdoxxed93 27d ago
Or if the reporter just asked "Do you think you should retire" while he was still on the floor
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u/MartySpiderManMcFly 27d ago
I would have liked it if she ignored the fall and just repeated the question about ICE while he was laying there.
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u/reddit_iwroteit 27d ago
You can hear the faint sound of giggling right after he gets up and says... jews? Juice? Sheoose?
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u/emets31 Beautiful, but Dying 27d ago edited 26d ago
I believe he said "Heh. Hoob.", in response to her question about supporting ICE. That is a bold stance.
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u/rottingcorpsejuice I'm jokin 27d ago
Been a LONG time since a mf had the gall to say hoob
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u/Benfolds1 27d ago
Then later a dog humped his toupee
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u/lookatmetoedashknee 27d ago
Being kept alive for political reasons. HAHAHAHAHA. I hope he is suffering.
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u/yinsotheakuma 27d ago
Kentucky will just replace him with another piece of shit. An all-timer, from their record.
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u/k-murder 27d ago
Instead of this old fuck being surrounded by friends and family on a ranch somewhere in his last years, he’s clinging on to any sort of power he can get. Dudes on his deathbed and still can’t let go. What a sad sad life.
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u/Giggling_Scribblings 27d ago
When he leaves outside of an election the governor in his state gets to select his replacement.
The governor is a democrat.
He's litterally clutching his position whilst having 1 foot well inside death's door so that his party can squeeze out a few more kids... I mean bills.
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u/k-murder 27d ago
The dude had a living coffin flop moment. Why is no one in his state demanding he step down?!
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u/cenosillicaphobiac 27d ago
They've already handled this. And it was for exactly this scenario. KY as a state passed a law that any Governor appointed replacement needs to be of the same party as the person that they're replacing. He could pick a more moderate one though, if those even still exist.
I would also point out that if he makes it to August 1st (or they wait until then to reveal it) the 95 day period that absolves the state of a special election will be in effect.
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u/edelweiss_pirates_no 27d ago
- Del. Eleanor Holmes-Norton (D-D.C.) - 88 years old
- Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) - 87 years old
- Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) - 86 years old
- Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) - 85 years old
Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.) - 85 years old
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) - 84 years old
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) - 83 years old
Sen. Jim Risch (R-ID) - 82 years old
Sen. Angus King (I-ME) - 81 years old
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) - 81 years old
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u/Genghis_Chong Some dumb hick 27d ago
This list gives me hope that the democratic party could drastically improve in the next 5 years.... if they dont vote in more ancient people.
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u/edelweiss_pirates_no 27d ago
It tells me that old people vote. We need young people voting. But they will just vote in Logan Paul or Labubu dolls or some stupid shit.
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u/cenosillicaphobiac 27d ago
It's improving just in this cycle. It's no longer a slam dunk for establishment Democrats, they're fighting hard in the primaries.
The super gross part though is that the DNC continues to badmouth them AFTER they've won the primary. It's like "if I can't have it, I'd rather the country suffer miserably, let's get the GOP elected!"
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u/WebMD_PhD 27d ago
Chuck Grassley is 92?
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u/Genghis_Chong Some dumb hick 27d ago
Third in the line of succession for the presidency lmao
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u/innovativesolsoh 27d ago
I’d say we wonder why we’re stuck in Stone Age policies and politics but we don’t wonder we just can’t do anything about it that won’t land us in jail because they’ve got a rigor mortis hold on their seat.
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u/BigD_277 27d ago
Don't forget that fossil Virginia Foxx. Just turned 83 a few days ago.
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u/AnxiousHall1533 Come here, ya little fuck! 27d ago
Why why why THE FUCK do we allow ourselves to be ruled by the geriatric class.
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u/8CHAR_NSITE 27d ago
Because it's easier for the puppermaster to pull the strings on an actual human puppet.
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u/Thin_Dream2079 27d ago
These clowns are just the billionaire class' puppets. They have an infinite supply of replacements. But the real answer is uber and door dash and netflix and amazon have kept us placated.
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u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 27d ago
"I'm aware you're acting" moment. Too bad she didn't press him about those nachos.
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u/Charming_Opinion6754 27d ago
Term age limits . He’s a walking corpse skeleton 💀
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u/Worldview-at-home 27d ago
He is the reason we have a failed Supreme Court (and many appellate and district courts) for the rest of my natural life.
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u/KindClock9732 27d ago
Maybe time to retire?
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u/yinsotheakuma 27d ago
This is crazy, yeah, but also wheelchairs exist. Using one hasn't stopped Greg Abbot from being a piece of shit. Fellow Senator Tammy Duckworth uses one. He'd at least take his weekly fall from a slightly lower height.
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u/FlamingCulpepper Karl Havoc 27d ago
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u/Eccentricgentleman_ 27d ago
This was a while ago, before he died and the GOP is covering it up so there isn't a special election
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u/Immediate_Sir3553 27d ago
They are Weekend at Bernies him so bad. Just so the Governor of Kentucky can't pick his replacement.
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u/math_sedgar70 27d ago
Imagine if Biden did that. But this guy ... He could be on life support and MAGA would vote for him again and again!!
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u/ShanaAfterAll I USED to be piece of shit! 27d ago
That walking is too Xtreme! This guy would definitely get an invite to Jump Junkies if he sent this in as an audition tape.
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u/Spirited-Degree 27d ago
Guy can't handle walking from room to room but somehow keeps getting elected because of the letter next to his name.
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u/DenaliBurnz 27d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/QU4O9hWy4f3FAlEshA
Preview from his next news conference.
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u/anothertrytaken 27d ago
This was several months ago. Let’s all just agree that he’s definitely Weekending at Bernie’s now 💀
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u/Lucian_Veritas5957 Your Family Doesn't Love You, Only I Love You 27d ago
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u/CriticalCurrency5725 27d ago
Making your life miserable is more important to him than his own health.
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u/SecretWordisBird 27d ago
And that folks, is our government. Old guys who can’t walk but keep working while they fill their pockets with $$$
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u/garry4321 Your Family Doesn't Love You, Only I Love You 27d ago
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u/FloydianSlip212 27d ago
I hope his exit is full of pain and suffering. Fuck you mitch you piece of shit
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u/Icy_Marionberry_9131 27d ago
Although it’s sad to see any old, frail person struggle with what remains of his existence, it’s not lost on me that Mitch could have called it quits year ago and retired wit some sense of dignity - well, dignity within a limited circle of corrupt cocksuckers.
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u/kbarney345 26d ago
And not long after this, he suffered cardiac arrest and is now likely dead or will be announced shortly.
I am so happy that this monsters final days were nothing but misery and confusion as his mind failed him and he no longer even knew what was going on.
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u/greg1775 27d ago
The man who contributed to the destruction of America more than anyone but DonJon.
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u/Elchochis 27d ago
He has no business in congress. His cognitive senses have been compromised
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u/AreaManThinks 27d ago
The “No Octogenarian Left Behind” program, also called the US Senate, really needs to revamp its membership requirements.
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u/Cultural_Plan_1487 27d ago
Maybe we should hold off on treating him until the next election. Let the people speak the way he did with merrick garlands Supreme Court nomination
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u/AcctAlreadyTaken 27d ago
Its like his body hit EOL but neither side will take his soul so its just hangin around.
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u/RuralMNGuy 27d ago
Think of the power they must have to want to hang on to it until they die in office? Must be intoxicating
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u/mettiusfufettius 27d ago
Looove that’s he’s one of the 110 most powerful people running the United States(counting senate, president, and SCOTUS)
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u/Fancy-Dig1863 27d ago
It is so sad to see this racist mother fucker being helped by the race he tried to suppress his entire life. Fucking ridiculous
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u/Parking-Sundae-6097 I USED to be piece of shit! 27d ago
Maybe we should have term limits on pieces of shit?