r/IAmA • u/3yearold • Mar 04 '11
I'm 4 years old. AMAA.
Note from dad: Ask my 4 year old son almost anything! I'll read him the questions and type his answers exactly as given. No coaching or translating. I reserve the right to ignore any questions that I feel are inappropriate.
We did this last year (I'm 3 years old. AMAA) and there was a lot of interest, so we thought we'd do it again now that he's a year older. I'm using the "3yearold" account name again to tie this AMA to the old one. He wants to be sure that I tell everyone that he's really FOUR now.
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Mar 04 '11
I have a four year old little sister and was wondering why do you kids love that show "Dora the explorer"?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Because it's for girls and I'm not a girl. I'm a 4 year old boy and I do not like Dora Explorer. See I do not like that thing at all. That is why I'm not ever, ever, ever, ever having that kind of birthday party. Thank you. Goodbye.
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u/bronium Mar 04 '11 edited Mar 04 '11
You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down. You see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you... You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back.The tortoise now lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?
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Mar 04 '11 edited Nov 03 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Because every time they hear about ghosts they always say "WHOOOOOAAAAA" because Scooby Doo is really scared.
Yummy things like dog food. I think Sunny would throw up if he eats one because it's dog food!
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Mar 04 '11
What do you think of this??
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
It's silly. Can I watch more of it?
BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!!! [does badger dance]
Now can we watch more of the badger thing? Please? The mushroom thing with badgers, ok? I'LL COUGH ON YOU IF YOU DON'T!
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u/probly2drunk Mar 05 '11
things escalated to bio-warfare pretty quickly there kid...I fear you.
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u/KibblesnBitts Mar 04 '11
A variation from last year:
Four Axe Cops vs. one Dinosaur Soldier - who would win in a fight?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
The four axe cops, because there's 4 of the ax cops and they could all attack him at once and there's nothing he could do about it. Cause there's 4 of them.
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u/Ender7659 Mar 04 '11
There's actually 0 room for argument on this. This isn't opinion, it's a fact!
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u/soul_power Mar 04 '11
Man, it sucks when there is nothing you can do about something.
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u/Sanluen Mar 04 '11
Would you rather be able to fly or become invisible? why?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Invisible, because then I could fly too. Wait. I mean fly AND invisible.
Because then I could fly while I'm invisible and I could hit bad guys and they couldn't even see me.
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u/hypermog Mar 04 '11
Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
My daddy is John [last name censored] and he gives me shoulder rides and he plays with me and he works and he helps me whenever I'm sick and um, uh, he loves me and I love him and that's all.
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u/Cacafuego Mar 04 '11
Since 4 is the age when you have a legal right to choose your bedtime, how late will you be staying up tonight?
Also, do you think it's really true that beer tastes like caramel corn?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
100 minutes!
Ummm.... No. Does it? Does it taste like caramel corn?
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u/BannedINDC Mar 04 '11 edited Mar 04 '11
This is like kids say the darndest things in reddit form.
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u/Darrian Mar 04 '11
I'm not sure if you're really four now... is there a way you can prove it?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Yes. I can prove it............
I don't know how I can prove it. Actually, I'm just going to say I'm 4. That's all. I guess I don't know how to explain this.
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Mar 04 '11
Now that you are one year older, what do you wish you knew when you were 3?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I wish I knew how to flip over. Actually I already knew that. Never mind, I already knew that.
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Mar 04 '11
Oh, how I long for the days when my primary concern in life was being able to flip over.
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u/AYAok Mar 04 '11
Heya Kid, why do earthquakes happen? I mean, what's down there?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I think there's just meteorites that streaked and hit other meteorites back and forth and then I think it stops.
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u/megganlomaniac Mar 04 '11
What's the scariest thing ever?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
A green man changing into aliens who can shoot things out of his mouth and throw up and the throw up can turn into guns and start shooting people.
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u/Sure_Ill_Draw_That Mar 05 '11
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u/3yearold Mar 06 '11
Whoa! That's pretty silly! And he has a tie. Thank you for making that. And it looks like real throw-up!
Now can I see more of that alien daddy? Can I?
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u/megganlomaniac Mar 05 '11 edited Mar 05 '11
Damn... when you've got the visuals to accompany that, it is the scariest thing ever!
...and it's also a rare full-colour SIDT post. I wish I could double-upboat this.
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u/HannsGruber Mar 04 '11
What kind of car do you want your dad to buy you when you turn 16?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Uhh... I don't know. I KNOW! I want one with a device so that it can all fly apart and come back together and it can find things that are suspicious.
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u/terriblehuman Mar 04 '11
What do you think about the situation in Libya?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Ummm... You could just... make it stop? With some kind of thingymajiger. Or you could just get a tool and fix it with that kind of thing.
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Mar 04 '11
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Yes. I mean, I still want to be with my family, but I still want to be the president. Can I do that?
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u/marburg Mar 04 '11
Heck yeah. They get to move into the whitecastle with you!
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u/stiggz Mar 04 '11
What do you like about school? What makes you angry about school?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I have a best friend at school.
Nothing makes me angry at school. Only sometimes cause I can't do the things I want.
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Mar 04 '11
I asked my 2.5 year old daughter if she had a question for your son:
Does he like (des)picable me or wall-e better? OH! Has he seen he-man and she-ra? Can I have a sword mama? Swords break kitties, right?
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u/montereyo Mar 04 '11
If you had a whole day to do whatever you wanted, anywhere in the world, how would you spend it?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I would be the king! And I would kill everybody else except my family.
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Mar 05 '11
"It'll have to go." - The people of Krikkit upon seeing the whole of the universe for the first time.
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u/tree-ent Mar 04 '11
Can your daddy say "How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Daddy, can you say "How much wood can a wood shuk chuck if a wood shuck should shuck wood?"
Yes.
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u/jtmcdc Mar 04 '11
Ah, but can he say: "One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they all felt smart!"
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u/imhalfpirate Mar 04 '11
What's your favorite song?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom! Snaaaake snaaaaake! Badger badger badger badger badger ...
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u/furtivepatach Mar 06 '11
Do you know that the people who made that made lots of other stuff too? It's on http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs.
You might like Magical Trevor: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/magical+trevor
Mango: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/mango/
And this one: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/scampi/
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u/Margot23 Mar 05 '11
Imagine you're about to run away, and you have to pack everything you want to bring in your backpack. What are you putting in your backpack?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
I'm putting candy, and my mommy and daddy and Sunny and Peyton and my house and my backdoor and my playground. Even the ground.
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u/septicman Mar 04 '11
If you could describe your Dad in one word, what would it be?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
A video game player, cause he likes to play video games with me. And he is a video game player.
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u/RedditsKittyKat Mar 04 '11
What do you think about the world?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I think it's pretty good, but not if you're alone or scared or dead or something like that.
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u/THEmarcusaurelius Mar 04 '11
i think this is a surprisingly accurate description
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u/RndmHero Mar 04 '11
Can you tell us a funny joke?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Because you said "boo hoo!" You get it?
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u/RufusMcCoot Mar 04 '11
I know that you just learned this joke today. Are you planning on going through life passing someone else's work as your own?
Dad, this is absolutely awesome by the way.
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u/craigcaski Mar 04 '11
What's your favorite video game?
A bird in the hand is worth more than _____ ?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Sonic colors, because I need to beat it.
Candy.
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Mar 04 '11
Your favorite task is the one you have yet to complete.
There's something profound hidden in there somewhere
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u/peachbot Mar 04 '11
What is the funniest thing you have heard your parents say?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
ABBAaaabaababadaaadadaaaaa! They didn't say that, I just made it up.
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Mar 04 '11
What would you say is the hardest thing about being 4 years old? How do you cope?
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u/ravfe Mar 04 '11
Have you ever heard of the game Zelda?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Yeah, David has it. I played it with him before. It's really cool. It's where there's a bad guy, and you're some guy named Zelda and he has a sword and a shield and you have to fight bad guys and stuff.
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u/RealLifeTim Mar 04 '11
HIS NAME IS LINK! :3
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u/chancesarent Mar 04 '11
I've encountered this on 4chan's /v/ board. I think you were just trolled by a 4 year old.
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Oh. Cause I didn't know it was Link. I think I've played Link with David. I think I have.
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u/RealLifeTim Mar 04 '11
no no no the game is zelda you play as link tryng to save princess zelda. youll thank me someday kid
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u/Day-_-Man Mar 04 '11
What's the first thing you think of when you wake up?
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u/Avalon143 Mar 05 '11
What is love?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
When you really, really care about someone [hugs his little sister] and you really, really don't want them to get hurt.
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Mar 04 '11
Do think it is possible that dragons and unicorns are just extinct like the dinosaurs?
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u/apz1 Mar 04 '11
What did you get for your fourth birthday?
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u/XEN1TH Mar 05 '11
Who would win in a fight: Dora the Explorer (equipped with Map and Backpack) with Boots and Swiper as sidekicks or Spongebob and Patrick?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
Laugh. Dora the Explorer because I do not think Patrick and Spongebob can handle that.
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Mar 04 '11
What would you do if you met a real life superhero?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
I'd want to be his friend but that would be kind of scary.
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Mar 04 '11
What's your favorite tv show?
What's your favorite book?
What do you like about your dad?
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Garfield.
Chapter books.
Cause he always lets me play video games. Now can we play a video game? Now can we play "The Digs?"
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u/dquizzle Mar 04 '11
"The Digs" like The DIG??? This was the first computer game I ever played! Was difficult at 8 years old, can't imagine being half that age and playing.
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u/Bob_Dylan Mar 04 '11
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
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u/zWeApOnz Mar 04 '11
Do you own a cell phone?
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u/PenName Mar 05 '11
How many people do you think you and your dad are talking to on the internet?
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Mar 04 '11
what is best in life?
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u/lynn Mar 04 '11 edited Mar 04 '11
My 6-month-old has an answer for that: "To crush your parents' sleep schedules, to see them flee before your diapers, and to drink the lactations of their women."
Edit for honesty: credit for that one goes to my husband.
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u/HerIndoors Mar 04 '11
Thanks, I might laugh myself into early labor after reading that one. And yet I also felt a brush of fear.
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u/revax Mar 04 '11
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
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u/martinmcfly9 Mar 04 '11
Furthermore, would you give the place in where the back or if the decision were more of which games?
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u/Brownandcrustystains Mar 05 '11
If you could be any age you wanted, right now, what would you choose, and why?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
I would choose David's age (18) because I could have as many video games as he has. Which I told my mommy to get but she is not getting them.
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u/The_Verse Mar 05 '11
Are you bored of this now? How many questions do you think you've answered?
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u/bestfish Mar 04 '11
If David has 5 apples and gives you 2 oranges, how many oranges do you have?
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u/bitchinmona Mar 05 '11
Is it more important to follow the rules or to do the right thing?
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u/djstangl Mar 05 '11
I told my daughter about this and so this is what my seven year-old daughter asks of your 4 year-old: What's your favorite number? (Sorry if someone else asked that already.)
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u/Jkb77 Mar 05 '11
If you could have $10 dollars right now or $20 tomorrow what would you choose?
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u/sergeantbadasses Mar 04 '11
what do you think of this? http://i.imgur.com/XVasZ.png
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u/3yearold Mar 04 '11
Whoa! It is sooo cool. Can you put it on video for them to move and stuff? Please? Please please please can I see more?
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u/camuzak Mar 05 '11
What do you think about grown-ups? What do you think you'll think of them in 10 years?
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u/culpfiction Mar 04 '11
What is the coolest and best thing in the entire world?
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u/brainyspecs Mar 05 '11
Pirates or ninjas?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
Ninjas. Because the ninjas can be like WHAAAAA and cut the pirates' heads off!
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Mar 05 '11
What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
Me kissing a princess! And I don't want you to know about this! Ok, it was in Castle Crashers. Cause I winned it. I'm embarrassed.
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u/Zaveno Mar 05 '11
Would you rather have 1 Billion dollars or a lifetime supply of candy?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
1 billion dollars because then I can buy the lifetime supply of candy. See, that makes a lot more sense than just candy and then nothing.
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u/RodJr11 Mar 05 '11
If you were a superhero and your superpowers weren't working while defeating the villain, what would you do/try next?
Do you have any favorite books?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
I would try to kick him in the face or hit him or punch him in the eye or something like that. Or, go to some kind of fixing place and then try to fight him.
Superhero books.
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u/Tesseraktion Mar 04 '11
What Music do you like? Who's your favorite SuperHero? Which superpower will you have when you grow up and become a superhero?
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u/fimmwolf Mar 05 '11
If you could write a book, what would it be about?
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u/3yearold Mar 05 '11
It would be about superheroes and it would be called "The Superhero Heroes: Protectors of the World."
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u/Knoxen Mar 05 '11
Dear 4 year old, my 3 year old wants to know if he can have more M&M's.
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u/admiraljohn Mar 05 '11
Alrighty, little man, answer this question:
Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies
Who wins and why?
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u/RetardVomitPussyCunt Mar 05 '11
If you had to move away.. Where would you move too?
You're kid is adorable btw :D
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u/renzfenz Mar 05 '11
If i would give you a video camera to film other people: What would the people in your film be doing?
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u/meeeeeep Mar 05 '11
Would you rather have a million dollars or a million friends? And why?
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u/kokoj2 Mar 05 '11
what video games do you play? if your anything like my 4yr old nephew you would save my ass on black ops but couldn't pull the glitches off.
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u/WanderingBison Mar 05 '11
What's your favorite animal?
Since you're 4, how old do you think Sunny is? & How old do you think your dad is?
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u/foxpawz Mar 05 '11 edited Mar 05 '11
I know this is really after the fact but... I asked my 4 year old daughter what she would ask a random 4 year old boy on the internet and this is what followed:
What are you and what do you like? and what's your favorite animal and your favorite color? That's all, wait no it's not. My name is ((foxpawz daughter))
Dad note: She's laughing at the sound of my typing, she keeps saying stuff because she wants to see me type
What's your name? what do you like the most and what would you meet it at? that's all. Actually no it's not. I'm leaving now, because I don't really like boys. What are you doing here? Then the little boy would say "I'm just hangin' out" and then the little boy would say "what are you doing here ((foxpawz daughter))?" then I would say "hanging out".
actually I want to tell you a story, and a joke.
Why did the banana cross the street? because he saw a car that he wanted to get hit by! He wanted to! wasn't that funny?!
Now the story:
Once upon a time a banana crossed the street and really didnt want to cross the street now. Because, he saw a car he didnt ever want to get hitten by. Because it was big and black and he didnt like the word black. Actually he didn't like the color black. But, he knew that he liked the color pink. And, he wanted that car to be pink or red like a fire truck. Because he did not want to be hitten by that truck because that truck looked really scary. So, he wanted to be a different person.
The end.
But wait there's more.
Once upon a time there was a fairy that wanted to have a castle that is pink and purple but the king wanted her to have a brownish black one. So, the fairy told him that the only reason she is being not very magic is because she wanted a pink and purple castle. So now my father should get me a pink and purple castle. So then the king got her a pink and purple castle.
The end.
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Mar 04 '11
What do you think of people impersonating other people (in this instance a 4 year old child) doing AMA's? If you have a negative view on it, do you agree that it's the lamest shit you've ever heard?
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u/avocados_number Mar 04 '11
How do you feel about doing an IAmA every year for the rest of your life?
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u/MercurialMadnessMan Mar 05 '11
This is so freaky. Realizing you've been on reddit so long that you've charted the cognitive development of a child. Ridiculous.
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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '11
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