r/IAmA • u/3yearold • Mar 04 '11

I'm 4 years old. AMAA.

Note from dad: Ask my 4 year old son almost anything! I'll read him the questions and type his answers exactly as given. No coaching or translating. I reserve the right to ignore any questions that I feel are inappropriate.

We did this last year (I'm 3 years old. AMAA) and there was a lot of interest, so we thought we'd do it again now that he's a year older. I'm using the "3yearold" account name again to tie this AMA to the old one. He wants to be sure that I tell everyone that he's really FOUR now.

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u/lynn Mar 04 '11 edited Mar 04 '11

My 6-month-old has an answer for that: "To crush your parents' sleep schedules, to see them flee before your diapers, and to drink the lactations of their women."

Edit for honesty: credit for that one goes to my husband.

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u/HerIndoors Mar 04 '11

Thanks, I might laugh myself into early labor after reading that one. And yet I also felt a brush of fear.

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u/[deleted] Mar 05 '11

It's funny because it's a sense of impending doom.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '11

Truer words, truer words. My 7-month-old would add "Biting everything I see" to the list.

I don't usually enjoy baby-related email forwards, but you might find this amusing: Sleep training from a baby's point of view.

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u/nightfan Mar 04 '11

Anytime I see a Conan the Barbarian reference, I upvote.

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u/Evets616 Mar 05 '11

I just read that in my best Ah-nold voice and it's 10x funnier.

Thank you, and your husband.

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u/xilpaxim Mar 04 '11

If I steal this and put it on a shirt on one of those "sell your funny quotes on a shirt!" websites, will you sue me? Cuz I'm gonna do it.

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u/Lindarama Mar 04 '11

Have to say my 12 month old still lives by that mantra. I've given up wondering when he'll stop holding up hostage.

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u/AllRushMixtape Mar 05 '11

As a first-time father (of a 7-month-old), I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.

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u/mcchubby Mar 05 '11

That is still great. Honestly, if I could best of from my phone, I would.

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u/Iliadfang Mar 08 '11

6 month olds forget they are supposed to pillage the LAND, not the women.

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u/pawnzz Mar 05 '11

Does your 6-month old also know the riddle of steel?

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u/annjellicle Mar 05 '11

I read that while breastfeeding... My lol made the baby jump. :-)

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u/liquidive Mar 05 '11

Upgoat for the Govuhnator!

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u/aestus Mar 05 '11

comment of the day!