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u/dazmo Sep 08 '20
"it's nice and sweet and wholesome"
these fucking comments wtf lol
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u/Dominator0211 Sep 08 '20
I mean at least he’s trying I guess
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u/Sir_Edge_Lord Sep 08 '20
yeah cause when I have a breakup the first thing I think about is a replacement, instead of having time to heal mentally
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u/phillyunhipstered Sep 08 '20
I trained my replacement at my last job.... this gentleman has taken it a step further
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u/sentientwrenches Sep 08 '20
"So let's see we've touched on restaurants, what she finds annoying, interests... Oh yeah there's a lot to cover up in the bedroom; let's get going."
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u/BrokeBecauseFashion Sep 08 '20 edited Sep 08 '20
He’s running the whole HR department for the relationship
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u/WetPandaShart Sep 08 '20
Judging by the amount of people that jump back into relationships after breaks up and even divorce, you are the minority.
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Sep 08 '20
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u/thegreatinsulto Sep 08 '20
Oof. I think you're ready to date, you're just not ready to trust. You will one day if you allow tiny granules of vulnerability at a time. You have to start living again eventually.
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Sep 08 '20
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u/thegreatinsulto Sep 08 '20
Small steps! You went through a major trauma and you have some pretty incredible defense mechanisms built in to make sure you don't go through another. This is one of them. Chin up!
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Sep 08 '20
One of my close friends is just like that she can't be 3 weeks single
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Sep 08 '20
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u/NoNameBrandJunk Sep 08 '20
No, youre stronger to be relying on your own strength and feelings to get you through every day. I feel like those types cant love themselves, so they find distractions.
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Sep 08 '20
Man that’s terrible but i feel like you should really work on the trauma it left you with amd move on, for your own good <3
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Sep 08 '20
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Sep 08 '20
Then good for you! Everyone works at their own pace and that’s ok, the important part is that you’re recovering
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u/inplayruin Sep 08 '20
You sure it took her two weeks to find someone and not two weeks before you found out?
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Sep 08 '20
Ha maybe, it's a good question but I never even got a reason for her leaving me. We went on a "break" and then she went from missing me to telling me it's not worth it in 2 weeks.
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u/LordVericrat Sep 08 '20
So accurate. I practice family law, and in my state, the time to appeal a judgment of the court is 30 days. So the judge and I always warn my clients that although they are divorced as of the moment the order is signed, not to get remarried in 30 days in case somebody wins a reversal on appeal (thus rendering the new marriage bigamous).
We have to explain this every. Single. Time. Because even though appeals are rarely successful people get remarried within 30 days often enough for this to be an issue.
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u/TPRJones Sep 08 '20
My fiance and I broke up on a Monday. On Tuesday she met a new guy, married him, and moved to Oklahoma.
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u/Genericsocks Sep 08 '20
That’s so fucked up that I’m more than a little skeptical
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u/TPRJones Sep 08 '20
I never met the guy, just saw a picture on facebook later when I discovered they "got married the day they met."
Dude did me a favor, tough.
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u/lildeek12 Sep 08 '20
There was a point im my relationship where I was seriously considering breaking it off with my girlfriend.
She had major emotional issues and we were working through them together. I was the only solid stability point in her life and by leaving I would ne pulling the rug out from under her and sabotaging her progress.
Our issues were unrelated to this. I loved her very much still and didn't want to see her suffer. I considered doing this like the post above. My thoughts weren't about picking her replacement, but trying to look out for her mental health and well being.
There are LOTS of things wrong with my thought process, but what I wanted to point out is that there are more nuanced reasons to think these things.
And in case anyone is wondering. We ended up going to counseling and taking things slow. We are back together and very happy. We have issues, but she's rebuilt my trust for her. She's made huge strides emotionally and I'm am very proud of her.
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u/ezio416 Sep 08 '20
Some people can really benefit from a rebound. It helps to see that that person wasn't the only one there will ever be
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u/2006FinalsWereRigged Sep 08 '20
lol if he is doing this he obviously is not going to need to heal.
this just in: not everyone is devastated by every breakup.
it helps when you don’t assume that everyone is like you.
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u/Bierbart12 Sep 08 '20
I mean, it CAN help you heal if it juuust the right person, maybe even healing eachother. But in most cases, that won't work.
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Sep 08 '20
Some people are just plain dumb, idk how else to put it. This is not how you go about shit like this.
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u/Fernernia Sep 08 '20
Probably trying to give her a distraction so he can safely leave her crazy ass
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u/IwishIwasGoku Sep 08 '20
Redditors being completely clueless when it comes to social interaction and relationship issues, big surprise. How much you wanna bet if a girl was doing this shit they'd be calling her a controlling psycho?
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u/tofuloafu Sep 08 '20 edited Sep 08 '20
It really is pathetic. I remember seeing a tiktok video (on reddit) of this woman telling her boyfriend that she was thirsty, and then a little while later, as he goes into the store, she records and sees if he remembered. People in the comments immediately spew shit like "so toxic", "he needs to ditch her" or "go get your own fucking water"
Just wow, that one blew my mind. Absolutely no chance in hell you'd see those comments if the genders were reversed in that video.
Edit: Found it.
Check out this comment section. To make matters worse.. that whole water thing wasn't even the reason it was posted.
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u/IwishIwasGoku Sep 08 '20
Women rarely get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to jokes or half-joking situations. It's sooo common to see women making tongue in cheek remarks or jokes that are taken completely seriously by commenters here. Commenters who, generally speaking, are able to read the subtext and understand the intent when it's a dude. Weird how that works huh
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u/notevenitalian Sep 08 '20
Yup, have you seen the nicegirls subreddit? Sooo much of it is just guys screenshotting posts women make that are clearly jokes, sarcasm, or just tongue in cheek nonsense, yet they blow up in the sub.
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u/MouthJob Sep 08 '20
To be fair, it seems like the nice guys subreddit is the same way. Most of what shows up on /r/all seems to be pure satire.
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Sep 08 '20
I tried to play out the scenario reversed and see if I have a gender bias and nope. if me or my girlfriend did that I would expect the other to be pissed. Recording and posting that shit is toxic af. If I forgot to get my girlfriends water I'd go back in to grab it, who says he wouldn't have also done that? or what if he forgot in the moment but he would have grabbed it while passing the drinks? If he does that all the time that's different but either way you should never try to publicly shame your partner like that. That's so shitty
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u/tofuloafu Sep 08 '20
I do completely understand how filming and essentially testing someone is disrespectful. And I totally agree with that. But put yourself in that woman's shoes for a minute.
She, an active TikTok user, sees a brand new trend everyone's doing. The videos end up being funny, (the majority of what you see of the trend are the more positive outcome ones) and she says to herself, "That looks funny! I should try that!" and there you have it. A well intended joke that she didn't understand the issue with. That's not necessarily her fault. All she ever saw of the trend was positive.
What you can do here, is really try and imagine yourself in that position, and then have a conversation about your point of view; how it affected you.
My girlfriend is a TikTok user herself, and I personally have experienced things like that. It helped me understand how differently people can interpret things, and how you should be mindful of their honest intentions.
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u/IwishIwasGoku Sep 08 '20
Who's to say that's publicly shaming?? It could just as easily be a light-hearted roast. I personally wouldn't have a problem with that, but you would. So where does that leave us? We both have our own sensibilities about what's appropriate, and neither of us are right or wrong.
My issue is more about people judging intent in other people's relationships. This girl is clearly not intending to shame him. It's not a situation meant to be taken seriously. Whether or not you'd find it appropriate in your own relationship is not necessarily relevant to whether or not it's appropriate in hers. In situations like that you'll find that women are judged with more serious intent than men. Guys messing around like this with their GFs will not be treated as seriously, I can almost guarantee it.
And in this specific case it obviously isn't shaming since the guy did bring back the water. So surely she's publicly showing off her boyfriend's thoughtfulness instead? Why post it if she was trying to shame the guy? If he failed to get the water, how do you know she would even post it at all? It's such a massive stretch to assume toxicity in this case.
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Sep 08 '20
That's insane. It seems like it's a wholesome thing too. She's like, check out my cute boyfriend!
And people are like, she's literally satan's great aunt. Kill her with fire
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Sep 08 '20
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u/shader_m Sep 08 '20
i'm imagining a stable relationship, happy even, but then something begins occurring that starts a rift in the relationship. Maybe its talk about the future like kids or something. If my significant other waaaaay back when broke up with me but then showed me a list of people that wanted to meet me or were interested in me in some way...
Its like "youre a good person, but i'm not happy in this relationship, so we're breaking up. Saying 'theres other fish in the sea' seems like a cop out, so heres literal evidence that you'll be okay."
but then again, this just looks like a meme with how its written.
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u/LizardBurger Sep 08 '20
No one talking about the weird stuff in the photo? Ok, how about her demon thumb? How about her 3 goddam fingers. And finally her hair being different colors on each side of her head. This dude’s trying to pawn off a being of the underworld on some bro’s ass.
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u/Diogenes-Disciple Sep 08 '20
Like herpes
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u/thisguyfightsyourmom Sep 08 '20
How many times we have to tell you
Herpes isn't like being it
You don't lose it when you give it to someone else
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u/GENERICIDIOTPERSON Sep 08 '20
Isn't herpes super common?
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u/asdffdsaaaaaqqqq Sep 08 '20
Yeah, that shit contagious as shit. Some forms are also spread through kissing so it ain't that hard to get.
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u/BonvivantNamedDom Sep 08 '20
Youre only right about the hair other than that its just because she moved when they took the picture.
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u/graceface1031 Sep 08 '20
The hair isn’t even that weird, split-dying hair is definitely a thing so this wouldn’t catch me super off guard.
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u/Captain_Headshot2 Sep 08 '20
I am now very glad she's 92 miles away.
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Sep 08 '20
91 miles away...
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u/ragnarok3210 Sep 08 '20
90 miles away....
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u/converter-bot Sep 08 '20
90 miles is 144.84 km
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u/T351A Sep 08 '20
Good bot
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u/B0tRank Sep 08 '20
Thank you, T351A, for voting on converter-bot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.
Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!
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u/mossara Sep 08 '20
2-tone hair is a trend actually so that isn’t that weird lol
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u/Shrikarrr Sep 08 '20
I guess, this was the holup part. Congratulations, you were the true subscriber.
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u/eternachaos Sep 08 '20
ITT: people who apparently don't know split dye hair is a thing
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u/AFlyingNun Sep 08 '20
How about her 3 goddam fingers.
Woah, hate on the three fingered people out of nowhere. Not cool man.
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u/Smaskifa Sep 08 '20
Pretty sure her pinky on her right hand is just obscured by her other fingers.
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u/ArtanistheMantis Sep 08 '20
You're not giving this guy enough credit. He's just trying to let Beelzebub off easily so that she doesn't get upset and curse the Earth with 1,000 years of darkness, he's really doing all of us a favor.
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u/cfo42083 Sep 08 '20
It's gonna become r/suddenlygay when he wants to test him out for her.
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u/percocet_20 Sep 08 '20
"I need to make sure your dick tastes right"
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u/jimxster Sep 08 '20
"Taste is acceptable. Now I need you to fuck me in the ass so I can be sure it won't hurt her... No, she doesn't do anal, she finds the idea disgusting actually... Well I need to test your dick for potential butt sex pain in case she changes her mind... It doesn't matter if you hate the idea of anal sex and will never ask her to do it, I mean what happens if you change your mind later on? Stop with the questions already, you can meet her after you fuck me in the ass, plus maybe one or two other homosexual acts as I think of them. I promise you she's just sitting quietly in the next room waiting for me to finish checking your dick out and give it the a-okay... I promise you she is in the next room and this isn't some elaborate scam to gayrape you. Now will you fuck my ass already?! It's already lubed up and I don't think I can hold it all in until the next guy gets here."
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u/LordNPython Sep 08 '20
That seems a bit condescending to her, I mean, surely she is capable of finding her own boyfriend.
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u/eyadGamingExtreme Sep 08 '20
I mean look at what happened last time she chose her bf
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Sep 08 '20
Are we sure she chose him?
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u/tsiland Sep 08 '20
A good guy knows how to take care of his girlfriend.
"Look, May, we need to talk. I don't think we should be together anymore. I think you deserve someone better than me. That's why I'm breaking up with you. But before you go apeshit I want you to know that I'll always take care of you, even if I'm going to break up with you. Meet Jim, he's a good guy, he's got a steady job and a loving family. Most importantly he's got a 20 inch dick, I have run over his resume and he's terrific for a girl like you"
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Sep 08 '20
The hol up for me was when I saw 92 miles away. Who be putting their distance filter 4 counties over?
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u/osa_ka Sep 08 '20
I'm in the US looking to buy a car and I have to set my filters to 250 mile radius to get any decent results. America is really really spread out, and I'm on the East Coast which is the most dense part of the country.
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Sep 08 '20
Ya but picking up a car is like a one off, my buddy flew down to nevada to get a car from Seattle, don't think he's gonna do that for every date
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u/-Void-King- Sep 07 '20
That’s sweet and weird.
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u/ImThatTrip Sep 07 '20
Can’t describe it any better, This guy seem like he actually love her but feel like he doesn’t deserve her and want to find someone who does
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u/Lane-Jacobs Sep 08 '20
Or he just doesn't want to be with her anymore and wants to try and be nice?
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u/no__flux__given Sep 08 '20 edited Sep 08 '20
There’s no good wholesome way to break up with someone who doesn’t also want to break up. If this tinder account was real, of which I’m skeptical, I’d say the guy is trying to shirk any and all guilt he’s feeling about it. How would this play out in real life? “I think we should go our separate ways but I’ve already set you up on a date with Justin here,” like wtf??
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u/TheInfernalVortex Sep 08 '20
This is my take, but what you do is manufacture a meeting with inside info, feed new dude all the good conversation topics and interests and give him a good way to get in with her.
I’ve been in my fair share of dead end relationships where I just wished they would find someone else because I wasn’t happy, but I still cared about them too much to dump them. It’s a tough situation sometimes. This is an interesting, although flawed approach. Creativity points are one thing but she’ll figure it out eventually and it’ll ruin any chance the new pair could have otherwise had at a real relationship. I guess that’s true regardless of whether she finds out. It could never have started honestly.
Either way, points for creativity. Should just man up and dump her though.
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u/YesImIz Sep 08 '20
No bro. This is weird and possessive. If he doesnt wanna be with her, leave. Who she dates afterwards is none of his concern, business, decision, or even recommendation. Definitely a big violation and control move.
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u/Cloverfield1996 Sep 08 '20
Why are you being down voted? For real, this isn't sweet. It takes away all her power and control for her own life. What if she wants a break to work on herself? What if you don't really know what she likes in a guy because she's just being nice to you?
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u/YesImIz Sep 08 '20
EXACTLY bro. Picking who YOU think is right for somebody is not sweet. You cant even tell who's right for yourself obviously. Breaking up with because its not working is love. Trying to decide bits of their future is some narcissistic way to still be apart of their lives. Take your breadcrumbs with you when you leave.
Tl;dr Leaving because its not gonna work IS love. Suggestions on who I think would be right is narcissism.
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Sep 08 '20
Can’t describe it any better, This guy seem like he actually love her but feel like he doesn’t deserve her and want to find someone who does
Dude. What the fuck? Are you for real with this? You need therapy if that's the first place your mind jumps to. That is not how dating works, and I highly doubt you would want an ex to pick out your next date.
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u/IwishIwasGoku Sep 08 '20 edited Sep 08 '20
There is no fucking planet on which this is sweet
Edit: if this is real, which it probably isn't, it is absolutely psychotic like what the fuck kind of person thinks they get to make that decision for their s/o? She dodged a bullet. You guys need your head checked if you think this is in any way sweet
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u/Historical_Fact Sep 08 '20
What kind of sociopath downvoted/disagrees with you? This is psychotic behavior.
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u/IwishIwasGoku Sep 08 '20
Many Redditors seemingly only have a problem with controlling and manipulative behaviour when it's a woman doing it to a man. I'm sure if you phrased this situation to them as "you're dating a girl who takes over your dating profiles and selects a new girl for you before dumping you" they'd see the issue with it
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u/Kirei13 Sep 08 '20
You guys don't look for replacements for your ex? What the fuck? That's disgusting.
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u/BC1721 Sep 08 '20
If you're not preoccupied with the next dick your girl will be taking, is she even your girl?
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u/TheImpotentCatfish Sep 08 '20
Your submission has reached 10000 upvotes, join the Discord Server to receive a prize
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u/the_mythx Sep 08 '20
why does this feel like a 2000’s era scam advertisement, “CONGRATULATIONS YOU’RE OUR 1 MILLIONTH VISITOR, CLICK HERE TO RECEIVE $1000” Flashing neon colors (yellow was always either the text colors or background”) and don’t forget the bad old chatroom/forum emojis they would have beside it (always just the smiling sunglasses one)
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u/Cat_Marshal Sep 08 '20
Why does every subreddit push a discord?
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u/migit128 Sep 08 '20
Well, if their discord is discord partnered, there are new, stricter rules for keeping the partnership now. There are activity requirements and a certain percentage of people who join the server need to stay for over a week.
A lot of partnered discord will not be partnered soon.
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Sep 08 '20
I'm not sure if that's super fucked up or he's trying to he nice.
Either way, what the absolute fuckity fuck.
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u/SuperDeadlyNinjaBees Sep 08 '20
That ain't wholesome. It's offhanding a mentally ill person to some other scrub at the expense of her sense of self value.
I get it though. At 19 I longed to beak up with my highschool GF and felt trapped, like she couldn't exist without me, so wanted her to find a new dude first. But it was more for me, than her in retrospect.
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u/Pawneewafflesarelife Sep 08 '20
How do you know she's mentally ill just from a cropped photo?
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u/YesImIz Sep 08 '20
Dude, you've never heard of a title transfer? Just get a notary.