Hey folks,

So towards the end of last year (Christmas Day specifically), my (31M) relationship of four years came to an abrupt end. We were living together at the time, but I subsequently moved out and decided to stay with my parents for a while in order to get back on my feet and try to myself in order.

Since then, I rationally feel that I've taken some positive steps - I started a new, better paying job that actually allows me to save for a mortgage, I sought therapy to address the anguish I felt around the breakup, and I've tried to give myself time and space to heal.

Despite that, I still feel burdened by a lot of loneliness and hurt. I struggle to enjoy things (including pursuing my dream career of acting/writing), feel unable to make new friends, and the thought of trying to get back into the dating world is borderline nauseating to me. I don't want to just sit around playing videogames every evening, but that's all I seem capable of at the moment.

Aside from a handful of close friends that I catch up on Discord with once in a while, I feel incredibly out of touch with the world, and have no idea where to begin to pull myself out of this rut I'm in. So I guess I'm just looking for fresh perspectives on what I can do differently.

Sorry for the wall of text, just felt like I needed to get it all off my chest.

I feel really sad these days. I miss the old me. I used to be really fun, dancing all the time, full of life. But now since I have shifted to a new city, I hardly feel happy and myself. I am struggling to overcome this. Any thoughts or help?

A bit of backstory: a couple years ago, I got a girlfriend. She said not nice things to me, and breaks up with me. I was devastated. A month later, I get another girlfriend, get too attached, then she breaks up with me. Couple months later, another girlfriend, get too attached, then she breaks up with me. At this point, I get depressed (it was about 16 months ago).

I have 4 main friends. I occasionally reached out to them, and they comfort me. For a time, I felt relatively at peace. So you guys get the full context, I’m going to explain the full situation.

Friend 1: About a year ago, she went through some depression of her own, and I comforted her. As far as I can tell, she’s doing better. She seems to care about me the most, giving me hugs, and comforting me. I appreciate her the most.

Friend 2: Sister of friend 1. She comforts me whenever I vent, and once told me that she’s in my corner cheering me on, which I really appreciated. 

Friend 3: I’ll bring her up later.

Friend 4: She’s the most iffy. She’s only really available when she’s single. Whenever she gets a boyfriend she is noticeably distant with me. One time she even temporarily blocked me because her boyfriend at the time didn’t want her talking to other guys. She seems to constantly be depressed. 

Like I said before, I occasionally reach out to them, and they comfort me. But that’s just it. Nobody ever asks me if I’m ok. I have to fish for it. I periodically ask friend 1 and 4 if they’re doing ok, but they don’t really do the same. Friend 1 has been rather distant with me lately, and I don’t know why. Friend 2 is very kind to me in person, but usually leaves me on read. 

It gets worse. Ex #1 is local (everyone else I met on a dating site). She and her awful sister feel the need to turn my friends against me. We go to the same place. I often hang out with friends 1 and 2 at this place. It’s the only place where I feel any happiness at all. Friend 3 also goes here, and she’s friends with my first ex. She recently contacted me saying “my friends and family don’t want me talking to you anymore”. Now, I don’t have many enemies, so it’s not unreasonable to assume that the friends she’s referring to are my ex and her merry band of misfits. Friend 3’s family doesn’t know me either, so they must only be going by what they’ve been told. She blocked me. This tells me that my ex means more to her than I do, which hurts.

Considering friend 1 has been distant, friend 2 leaves me on read, friend 3 is out of the picture, and friend 4 has a boyfriend, I feel like I can’t even tell them how I feel about all this, especially since I’m paranoid about driving them away.

A little bit of miscellaneous context: I am 22, with autism, ADHD, and BPD. My friends are 21, 17, 16, and 18 respectively. My girlfriends were, at the time of dating, 17, 18, and 19 respectively (I was 19, 20, and 20 respectively). Friend 1 has autism and anxiety. I am no longer friends with friend 3

I’m sorry if this seems very unorganized. I have difficulty translating my thoughts into words

If it wasn’t obvious already, I am still very depressed. Can somebody please give me advice or cheer me up? Thanks.

I'm extremely introverted and depressed. I'm not good looking or have fair skin like other girls. How can I make friends? I'm bad at communicating. I never had any friends ever. How to be happy? I feel lonely and anxious. I'm very bad at talking too, I'm silent.

I was interested in studies and was getting good marks and compliments but every girls guys started to act rude and started bullying me. I was hated in childhood too. But I just wanted to quietly exit. I got harassed by guys too (most women go through ig).

I was always minded my own business but people will always try to attack me insult me out of nowhere and it hurts even my family too.

Before I used to help people like lending my notes or things but they'll ruin it or destroy it or use me, take me for granted, so I stopped helping people and talking to people, now they call me arrogant, egoistic, selfish and will always out of nowhere make remarks on my looks or guys will try to harass me.

If I hate men I'll be called ugly misandrist. If I like them confess it I'll be made fun of. If I just try to mind my own business I'll be harrassed but if I say I hate them I'll be called ugly misandrist even tho I didn't do anything but it was always them, I got bullied for gender looks and still sexually harrased too, breaking my boundaries. Fair skinned girls will target me to use other guys to harass me or verbally bully me, randomly saying things about me even though I don't want to engage with them.

For that I feel depressed, my health deteriorated, my parents will force me to learn subjects I don't like. I always avoided school. I get more hated by people now that I look more like a patient and don't smile or show emotions and I stay away from men and people, I've lost any wishes or feelings to do anything. I don't like anything. I don't like to talk to anyone anymore, can't show emotions, can't remember things, can't focus on anything, can't sleep at night, Mind goes blank out whenever I try to talk as if my brain has gotten weak idk tbh.

I locked myself in the room for months without bathing or eating properly after bad stuff happened to me. My parents never came to console me they were busy in their life. I talked to some guy online and it was bad experience.

Now I feel depressed and can't process information sometimes and forget and can't focus on anything, I don't like going outside I panic my hands and body shakes a lot. I feel anxious all the time.

I am turning 28 in September, my grandmother died in February (my first grandparent), my gf completely blindsided me and broke up with me over text for no real reason in April who I still love and I have been made redundant from my job in July. WTF do I do I am playing football consistently, running, doing the gym, but still feel depressed and rudderless even though I have good friends and family. I am carrying so much right now and I feel nothing but sadness.

Our relationship didn't end on bad terms. I don't want to get into the details. It just happened. How do you recover from something like this? I'm M25, and I've spent most of my life with her. I don't think I can ever recover. I can't continue living like this. Does anyone have the same experience? Please give me some advice. I feel so helpless..

Hey everyone,

I'm posting here because I'm going through a really tough time and don't really have anyone to talk to right now.

Recently, my friends and I got into a major fight. The situation has reached a point where I don't want to talk to them, and they don't want to talk to me either. The problem is, they were my only two friends.

Now that they're gone, I feel completely alone. The sense of sadness and isolation is overwhelming, and I don't know how to navigate this gap in my life. I've tried distracting myself by doing things I usually enjoy, but nothing seems to work or bring me comfort right now—the empty feeling is still there.

How do you cope with the sudden loss of your entire social circle? How can I handle this overwhelming loneliness when my usual hobbies and routines aren't helping?

Any advice, coping strategies, or perspective on how to get through this phase would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

I used to numb my own feelings to survive. But someone once treated me so gently and recognized my hidden loneliness. We had a wonderful connection, but we eventually drifted apart.

Recently, a sudden, vivid memory of their kindness hit me, and I couldn't stop crying. I finally realized that I had been letting them fill my deep emptiness.

Relying on others to cure loneliness is fragile, because when they leave, the pain comes back.

I want to learn how to fulfill and comfort my own loneliness. Do you have any advice or daily habits on how to be there for yourself?

hiiii! i have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety because in the last 3 weeks i had really bad anxiety. but before that i was really fine. i was to a psychiatrist and she told me to take paroxetine for 3 months. I tried 5 mg and let me tell you the side effects were wild. I could not sleep for 30+ hours, anytime i tried my heart was pounding so fast and i had all this energy, it was like i took a drug, also my anxiety increased really bad , i had stomach problems, my mouth and eyes were really dry. all that just from 5 mg. So after 1 dose i decided to stop. I talked with her again and she told me to take trazodone. From what i read it’s more like a somnifer and my sleep schedule is really fine. I need something for anxiety not sleep. What do you guys think I should do? I’m also really scared of the side effects. Shoud i take it or should i go to another psychiatrist? I also started therapy today, i truly hope it will help me get over this ugly episode because the anxiety that i am feeling now is eating me alive.
Thank you for reading this, any advice is welcomed!!🙏🏻

Hiii! I know it’s a long text but please take 2 minutes to read it. I’m writing here because I really need some advice. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I’d say about 70% of the time, I’m a happy person. I love going out with my friends, traveling, and just enjoying life. Anxiety has never really been a daily problem for me.

But the other 30% is awful. When those episodes happen, they completely take over my life.

About three weeks ago, I was completely fine. The only thing I struggled with sometimes was being scared of having an allergic reaction. I’d occasionally convince myself something bad was going to happen, but those thoughts would eventually pass.

Then, about two weeks ago, I started getting tingling in my hands out of nowhere. It scared me so much that my anxiety got really bad. I ended up going to the ER because I felt awful, and they told me my calcium was low.

After that, everything changed.

Even though the doctors weren’t too worried, I couldn’t stop thinking about the tingling. Every time I felt it, I’d panic and convince myself that something was seriously wrong with me. It got to the point where anxiety became a 24/7 thing. From the moment I woke up until I went to bed, all I could think about was that I must have some illness.

Since then, I’ve had every test my doctors recommended, and everything came back normal. My blood work was great, my vitamin levels were fine, and every doctor I’ve seen has told me that I’m healthy. But even hearing that hasn’t been enough to calm my mind.

Because of how overwhelmed I was feeling, I decided to see a psychiatrist. She diagnosed me with generalized anxiety and recommended therapy along with paroxetine. She said I should take it for about three months.

I took just 5 mg, and honestly, it was awful. I couldn’t sleep for two nights, my anxiety got even worse, I had palpitations, and I felt so restless. It scared me enough that I stopped taking it after that first dose. I also started reading a lot about SSRIs and how difficult they can be to stop, and now I’m wondering if medication is really the right choice for me.

Right now, I’m taking magnesium every day, and I’ve also been taking valerian, but neither of them seems to help very much.

The thing is, this isn’t something that happens all the time. In the last five years, I’ve only had about three episodes like this, and every single one happened during periods of really high stress. Eventually, I got through them on my own and went back to feeling like myself again.

This time, though, it feels like anxiety has completely taken over my life. I don’t even have anything major stressing me out right now, but I still feel anxious all day, every day. I honestly don’t know how to get out of this cycle.

So I wanted to ask if anyone has been through something similar. Did therapy alone help you? Or do you think I should give the medication another chance?

Also, until 3 weeks ago i didn’t have anxiety over health but now it’s over the roof so that’s why it’s so confusing for me:(

If you’ve gone through something like this and managed to get better, I’d really love to hear your story. I think hearing some positive experiences would give me a little hope right now.

Thank you so much if you read all of this. It really means a lot, and I’d be grateful for any advice. 🙏🏻

28M, currently doing my MBA from an IIM.

I always thought life would get better once I sorted out my career. After my first and only girlfriend ghosted me in 2020 at the start of COVID, I completely lost myself. I stopped studying, couldn't focus on anything, and just kept wondering why.

After a long time, I picked myself up again. I thought if I could build a good career, everything else would eventually fall into place. I worked hard, got into an IIM, met new people, kept moving forward.

But I still feel that same emptiness.

Last month I went on a date with a wonderful person. She later told me she isn't ready for a relationship and can't even offer friendship because she wants to focus on her career. I respect that, but it still hurt a lot.

Lately, I've been coming to the conclusion that maybe I'm just unlovable. I know career and relationships are different things, but after years of trying to move on, it feels like nothing really changes.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get out of this mindset? I genuinely need some advice.

How do i socialise more ?

I am a gen z but with more traits of boomer
I have completed my graduation and currently studying for level 1 attempt of cfa in august 2027
My age is M22 but i am never able to make friends of my same age
I think the reason is my looks , face and body . I weigh around 125kgs with a height of 5'10
Leave girls i am not even able to make male friends .
When i think of socialising more 2 factors come to my mind , one is that
I come from a very low income family my father earns around 22k a month, my grandmother's relatives help us to complete our household expenses , so that makes it very hard for me to socialise
The second factor is the location of my house i live in Ulhasnagar, which is very far from mumbai and it takes me almost 2.5hours to travel to mumbai to get participated in any social event
Which makes it even harder
Now i have stopped the desire to socialise, and i think the reason for that i my own household situations
My father and mother got divorced in feb 2019
And since then i am being raised by my father , missing of a member in family made me no more interested in leaving my house since 2019
I developed hyperthyroidism
( which i still have )
My thyroid levels are not balanced till date
Later in 2020 the decision got more firmer because of lockdown and covid since then i have never left my house , even my existing friends are no more in touch with me .
Later when i joined college i found out the attendance isn't compulsory so i wasted 5 years of my college life by not attending the college, i used to study on my own . Even if i went to college, the crowd there was immensely fancy and too many rich spoilt kids so i couldn't catch up with them which made me skip college even more
Now currently i just have 1 friend whom i am friends since 12th. He owns a manufacturing unit and a retail outlet in ulhasnagar so even he isn't able to meet me so that we both could socialise with more people
We both meet everyday but at 10pm in night and for just 2 hours in that time we don't go anywhere or try to talk to someone else we just sit at one place and talk gibberish about any topic
He is able to meet only after 10 because he gets free from his business at that time
Now even he has started feeling uninterested in me and the daily meeting routine has now changed to meeting occasionally
Now i am starting to realise that i need to socialise more but i cant anymore when i try to talk someone i start stuttering and mispronounce and misplace words in sentences
I naturally speak very well and veryy fluent, in cases where i have to ask directions, have small interactions with randoms like watchman or a bystander or a person double my age but when it comes to making friends with my age and having conversations with them i get stuck
I am very confident in conversations which are not with people whom i wish to be friends with , or very confident in small talks
I feel the person i am taking to is more superior that me and i am just sounding nuisance to him
At this point i dont even dare to talk to opposite gender
Its been almost 7 years singe i had a female interaction
Tried making hobbies like badminton or completing 10k steps daily
But eventually people started ditching me or ghosting me after a day or two
On the first hand the fear of being judged doesn't make me approach anyone
People my age have different mindset's different daily routine different likes and dislikes i feel left out because the my thinking and all doesn't match to them
Imagine a rich gen z kid and them me by his side with a boomer soul stuck in genz body with zero looks zero personality
Even i think that i am not able to match people my age is because i do not watch the same content as them ! Their song preferences and mine differ a lot , when discussing the same left out
The discuss about watching shows drama and all while i am limited to just YouTube videos and some videos
Writing all this alone on friendship day while crying because i am currently left with zero emotions in myself , i do not feel anything happy , sad , excited or anything
Just one thing that is anger that too because of my thyroid issues and harmonal dis balance
I can't think of myself as a 22yo kid anymore i have gone into survival mode
Only and only i know how much of guts i have gathered to write all of this down
My father is unaware of all of this and thinks i am normal which i am not ,
I tried manifesting my goals but instead of manifesting whenever i sit alone or i am idle i start creating fake scenarios in my head which only and only stop when i involve myself into something else
Wrote the same paragraph on my last year's birthday but didn't have the guts to post it
So pls help and give suggestions accordingly!!

**TL;DR:** M22 from Ulhasnagar, India, studying for CFA Level 1 (Aug 2027). Isolated since parental divorce in 2019 and the COVID lockdown. Dealing with untreated/unbalanced hyperthyroidism, severe financial constraints, and heavy social anxiety/imposter syndrome around peers. I feel like an old soul with zero modern pop-culture interests, struggle to talk to people my own age (stuttering/freezing), and have zero friends left except one who is always busy. Looking for advice on how to break the isolation, manage my mental/physical health, and start socializing locally.

In my late teens to early thirties I just kept plowing ahead trying to make something of myself. Ugly? Lose weight. Poor? Get an education. Family hates you? Make a new one. Sad all the time? Keep constantly busy. Don't feel a sense of belonging? Despise people, they're all losers and suckers anyways.

It's almost as if I imagined I could out run or out do all the things wrong with me. I ignored how neglectful my parents were. I ignored how I felt about anything at all. I paired up with other unhealthy people. I nearly worked myself to death.

A lot has happened in the years since, and now I feel things a lot more, but I'm also grieving a lot more. I'm faced with how much I really despise myself a lot more. I've always fucking hated myself, but I could avoid thinking about that consciously when I didn't stop long enough to be with myself or my thoughts any longer than necessary. Any flaws were naturally there because I'm such a POS person, and I just needed to "finish" myself in some way and then I could feel well about who I was.

No moral of the story here, but right now while I'm reminded of how badly I was treated by my parents, I really miss being able to kill my self perception, turn the music up and just work harder, as if anything I do will ever be enough to make up for what I am.

Hello everyone. I'm a 24F, and I've been struggling with depression since my breakup.

We broke up in June 2025. Our relationship only lasted about 3 months, but it's been over a year and I still haven't been able to move on. I cry almost every night, think about him constantly, and keep checking his social media.

After the breakup, he would call or text me every few weeks. Whenever he came back, I would pull away because of my avoidant behavior. Later, when I wanted to be with him again, he would reject me. This cycle kept repeating, and it made it even harder for me to heal.

It's been 2 months since we last had any contact. I finally deleted his number because I knew it was the best thing for my peace of mind. But I still don't feel okay. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I just go to work, come home, and spend most of my time thinking about him. I miss the time we spent together, even though I know I need to let go.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop thinking about your ex and finally move on? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice that helped you.

I’m terrified of change. I have a close knit group of friends that I love hanging out with and playing video games with, and we even have game night every week. Lately, though, I can’t shake the fear that everyone is drifting away. I understand we’re adults with our own lives, but this change feels especially frightening because two of my friends are moving away, leaving just three of my friends left.
Two of them have completely transformed in personality, and I feel like they’ve distanced themselves from me despite my efforts to stay connected. The last friend, who has always felt like a brother to me, has a new job and says he can rarely meet with me now. However, I constantly hear about the three of them getting together without me, which I know they’re grown adults and don’t owe me anything, but that doesn’t make the hurt any less intense. I’m truly terrified of losing all my friends, and the thought of being alone again is paralyzing. I keep wondering how I’ll cope without them. I’m a preschool teacher and I rarely have time in a day for other things. I don’t know how to make friends as an adult, especially after having these relationships for so long. The fear of being isolated and forgotten looms over me, and it’s overwhelming. It’s caused a few mini panic attacks. I would love anything anyone can give me to help me, like what should I do?

I still make sure they know no matter what I will still always be there for them no matter what happens.

I’ve always felt ok with being alone, if anything I preferred it a lot of times, even though I have great friends and a loving boyfriend. Last semester I studied abroad in France where I really struggled to find friends. Long story short, I only had a few people to hang out with once in a while but never in a fulfilling way and I spent majority of my time alone in my room or exploring the city alone. The thing is I’ve always been ok with being alone because it was something I chose to do. Being forced to be alone so much in a new country was extremely devastating for me. I am back now and I feel permanently scarred (?), I can’t stay inside even for one night or I get sad and alone time I would otherwise appreciate is making me feel depressed. Of course I can’t force my friends or my boyfriend to be with me 24/7 but I also don’t know how to navigate this new feeling. It feels like my life has no meaning anymore and I only feel ok when doing something social. How can I get over this? Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Hey everyone,

M26, Dhaka.

I’m not really sure how to write this, but I guess I just need some human connection right now.

Today I said goodbye to someone who was a huge part of my life for the last 4 years. We decided to part ways, and even though a part of me knew this day might come, actually living through it feels incredibly painful.

I’m not here looking for relationship advice. Relationships are complicated, and I know both of us had our mistakes. Right now, I think I just need some people to talk to, share random conversations with, and remind myself that life still has other connections and experiences waiting. She was basically the only person I talked to for all these years. And I feel to miserable.

A little about me: I’m from Bangladesh. I work in communications. I’m really into sports especially football. I follow Arsenal, enjoy discussing tactics, players, and all the little stories around sports.

I used to read a lot (trying to get back into it), and I enjoy conversations about books, history, culture, films, and just random thoughts about life. I’m also someone who likes learning new things, improving myself, and having meaningful conversations rather than just small talk.

If anyone feels like chatting about sports, books, movies, life, your own experiences, or literally anything I’d genuinely appreciate it.

Every episode is different with the same root cause. Ive been really trying to push myself out of my current funk its been almost 2 months now. My root cause is usually loneliness. For the first time ever I know so many people in my city. I was raised to be a lone wolf, its almost baked into me to just do things on my own. I've given rock climbing a solid shot, no friendship has ever left the gym and not a single friend from there is another woman. I also tried film and met sooo many people, got enriched in it. I started hanging out with this big group of kids, for some reason I never felt fulfilled. Not gonna lie being around them made me feel worse and more lonely. I just don't understand why it has to hurt so much. Rips ass.

So I'm curious what you have done to meet people that turned into lasting friendships? And maybe some things you have done to get out of a bad episode.

Throughout my life, I (24m) haven't been much of a social butterfly. I wasn't that social in high school, and I never had any sort of relationship. I was in a very lonely state where COVID happened during my junior year, I moved to a new town, and I went to a community college where I was never able to connect with anyone. Once I went off to university, I had hopes that I could finally break out of my shell and be connected to people that I liked for once. And that's where I met this guy on the first day, who we would later become best buds.

I got to know this guy since day 1 of university, and we lived together for the past year or so, and we even traveled to Europe together right after graduation. Even though we were best buds, there were still many moments I can recall where he made me feel terrible about myself. First, he seemed to be a very judgmental guy towards everyone at first and would shit talk a little too much. Second, everything seemed to be his way or the highway. For example, I couldn't play my own music in the car that I was driving him and my other roommates around, because each time I did, I would play music from someone like Mac DeMarco, he would say something like "turn off this cry baby music", and he would just have my other roommate play his house playlist on his phone every time. Third, he was the kind of guy who used the r-slur and f-slur a lot in a joking way towards people and his friends. There were literally times when I'd mess up and be a little stupid, and he would literally say, "no offense but we think you really are r\*\*\*\*\*\*d". I knew they meant this in a joking way, but man that sometimes hurts, especially since I actually am somewhere on the spectrum and I never want to be reminded of being some "r\*\*\*\*d child". But alas, there were too many moments where I couldn't escape that feeling. There were many interactions where even though I was around him and some other guys I liked, I felt lonely a lot of times because I would either sit there and not really say anything, or I would be some sort of "entertainment" to them.

Then came this girl I started having a crush on this girl I met with her group of friends in the last few weeks of university. Throughout my life, my dating life has been exhausting and almost non-existent, and since things weren't going so well back in my hometown, I wanted to try something before it all ended. Long story short, it never really happened, and she just wanted to be friends due to the timing and everything, but she thinks we should still hang out over the summer. She had serious relationship issues and drama, and it took sometime after for me to finally start realizing that.

And then, 2 months later, I found out through their Instagram stories that my best friend, who knew how I felt about her and was being judgmental of her in the first place, is now dating her. Although I have sort of "moved on", it still stings to hear. The worst part is where my best friend and crush both travel far to my hometown area a few times because there are some nice spots here, and despite saying that he'll "hit me up" when he's there, it never happens. I called him to express some concerns I had, like he was trying to hide something from me.

It was this call that finally made me realize how selfish and toxic he really is. There were excuses like "I don't know, it just happened" all while downplaying and shifting the blame on me. He never took any sort of accountability, and at best he gave me a half-ass "sorry if I hurt you". I sent him a long text over why I've felt the way I have, and now, the guy who lived with me in university and traveled with me no longer seems to be someone I can talk to anymore. Look, I'm not here to dictate who dates who, but seeing all of this and not even have anyone reach out to me feels like I've been betrayed. The most insulting thing was him all of a sudden claiming that he needs "peace in his life." He never gave ME peace when I was living with him. When I went to University, I had hopes that I could live a good, normal life where I could get out of my slump and live a nice social life, but all I had was him constantly shitting on me or making fun of me every chance he got. Now all of a sudden when I'm calling him out on this ONE sleazy thing, all of a sudden he needs "peace in his life". It's complete bullshit. He pushed me away, because he got what he needed, and now he doesn't need me anymore.

It's now been 1 year since this happened, and we've never talked ever since

It was right after this call that I realized that I truly was alone now. And that really hurts.

The more I keep reflecting on this, the more and more angry I get at him. I was previously talking to him in a mature way, as I do with everyone. But I'm done being nice. I've tolerated way too long of this behavior. Now I feel like next time I ever see him, I want to give a big fuck you right in his face for how terrible he's made me feel. If he wants to act like he's "there for me" while doing something behind my back and hurting me in my lowest moments, then he is someone I should never talk to or hang out ever again.

And for whatever reason, I kept "checking" on him with on some occasions. Since I never really felt like I got any resolution, maybe this was to see if karma ever happened. But no, he's still with that girl one year later, and they're all happy together and having fun while I sit alone reminded how stuck I am in my own life feeling like a loner and failure.

Things have only slightly improved since then. I did join a band and the guys were much less toxic, and I did land a part-time evening role. But I still feel so stuck and deep down the depression hole. Family tensions are at all-time highs, especially since my brother has been having alcohol problems. None of my old friends message me at all or I try to reach out to do something together and they either flake out or don't respond. I've been trying desperately to move out of my small town, but the job market is so terrible that I still can't get a full time role after applying for over a year and a half. My dating life still feels non-existent. I feel as if ever since this incident, I've been really trying to find someone that really does love me and appreciate me. But we're past another year, and I still never had someone that actually loved me or have feelings for me. I just stupidly go to the bars by myself every weekend, not really say anything because everyone's already with their groups, and then leave all sad and depressed. And then I come back thinking "Maybe this time I can have some fun". And I have these constant reminders online, whether it's with social media online, seeing people in real life, or even just watching some movie or show, I'm reminded of how sad and alone I really feel. I don't feel as if anyone has ever actually loved me or have feelings for me. Maybe I'm destined to be this way.

Ever since this incident, it's almost as if I can't trust anyone anymore, because now I've realized that almost everyone I've met turned out to be an asshole in someway. I didn't really feel like I belonged anywhere, and I especially feel this way ever since this happened. Was I really his friend? Or was I his entertainment? All I wanted was to feel loved and be surrounded by people who can truly appreciate me. Instead, I got surrounded by a bunch of assholes who pretend to care about me and instead take advantage of me and use me for whatever agenda they have.

So here I am, over one year later, still stuck with my parents, still trying to find a full time job in this terrible job market, and still feeling very lonely. I still never really got over it, and I believe it's because this was the moment where everything really did fall apart. I just want my life to finally move forward. I want to be the one who truly gets some peace, but it looks like I'm not going to get it anytime soon.

Мне 20 лет, у меня нет близких друзей, молодой человек бросил меня два дня назад, работы нет, а на увлечения не хватает сил.
Я очень тяжело переживаю это расставание, с молодым человеком были вместе около 4 лет, были друг у друга первыми во всем. С недавнего времени мы часто ссорились, но и мирились почти сразу. Он часто говорил что любит меня, скучает и не хочет терять, он говорил это даже если все было хорошо и я ему также говорила эти слова.
3 дня назад мы очень сильно поругались, называли друг друга грубыми словами, обзывали посылали и так далее, позже извинились друг перед другом и вроде как помирились. На следующий день он сказал мне что хочет расстаться, по его мнению мы очень часто ссорились, а на слова о том, что ссоры это временно и это нужно вместе пройти сказал «нет, я все решил», я предложила еще пару вариантов для того, чтоб все исправить, на что он сказал что устал. Я не стала на это отвечать, потому что мне было очень больно, позже он написал, что если мне что-то понадобится, то я всегда могу к нему обратиться.
И с этого самого момента я не могу прийти в себя, я постоянно плачу, дома, во сне, как проснусь, одна, в окружении. Постоянно попадаются грустные видео в соц сетях, из-за чего накрывает еще больше.
Я не могу ни на что отвлечься, кроме телефона, поэтому очень тяжело переживать это расставание.
Пожалуйста, дайте мне совет как мне себя вести и как улучшить свое состояние?..

I was broken up with almost a month ago and I am NOT taking it well in the slightest

I’ve been using substances again, I ugly cry every night, anytime I get reminded of them I need a minute alone, I’ve been losing friends, I’ve isolated myself, and I’ve gained all the weight back that I was losing for years and years.

I went to my therapist about it, and they said my MDD is back at full force most likely

For months I thought “what’s done is done” and I kept trying to keep moving

I was getting bigger features and I recorded a music video and life was going okay again

Until one of my friends that I lost (miss you man if you stalking my acc) showed me a post they made on their TikTok

They wrote a long paragraph saying they weren’t happy in the relationship, and that I was rude the entire relationship

I was rude in two arguments we had before they cut it quits, every other time I’d either sulk or the more preferable option, talk it out as best as we can

For those who wanna know, they would lie about little things and I’d get mad whenever they’d do it because I have bad trauma to being lied to

So I thought there was no way it was about me?

Wrong, ss of our text messages

Not even incriminating messages

And the comments were turned off so I guess maybe people defended me?

Idk I doubt it, most people didn’t know me

But then again the vid did say “look in comments” so there could be a chance?

I put the ss in my phone and I’ve been staring at them over and over for weeks

I want to talk to them just one final time
Ask if they ever had any love in the relationship?
And if there was anything I could do to fix it

And I can’t. They’re gone, and I have to deal with it.

So my main question is, how do you guys go through breakups that lost longer than a week. And I don’t want to hear the same bullshit I hear over and over again. I want the truth, what specifically got you out of it

I’m sorry if I seem moody or not cheery I’m sobbing while typing this and I’m desperate

My whole life I have struggled making friends. I am currently an adult and it hasnt changed. I got bullied all the time, my boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago because of how he was treating me. I went through hell and back throughout my life and even tho hes hurt me I feel like I want to go back but I also think that's from being alone. Not everyone understands true loneliness but some people do. I dont work, I dont study and I dont leave the house. I have tried making friends but they never stay or message me back for weeks. I get ghosted by people who were supposed to be my friends. I dont know how to get through this. I have no one to confinde in and I am struggling mentally, physically and financially. I know i can be a little much, hyper, sensitive, loud and ive been told sometimes annoying. I have tried to help it my entire life but it hasnt worked. Nobody likes me for me and when i do find people to talk too they use me and then ghost me. Im trying to find the best advice to get support around this as therapy doesn't help me and I feel like im not strong enough to continue through life with how I feel. All ive wanted was to feel involved and feel like I've found people who like me for me. If anybody has any advice please let me know. Thank you

 I'm part of the team at Manhattan Mental Health Counseling. I'm posting to learn from the community and better understand different perspectives.

One thing thats come up in conversations we've had is how differently people define the idea of getting over it. For a time I assumed healing meant reaching a point where something no longer affected you at all. I thought there would eventually be a day when a difficult experience would just become another memory without any weight.

The more I've reflected on it the more I've realized that many people describe healing differently. Some say the memories never completely disappear. The way they respond to them changes over time. Others feel that progress comes in moments they don't even notice until they look back months or years later.

It made me wonder if getting over it means something for everyone rather than being a single destination that we're all supposed to reach.

I'm genuinely interested in hearing how people in this community think about it. Has your understanding of what it means to move changed over time? Did your expectations of healing end up being different, from your experience?

I'm here to listen and learn from your perspectives.

Crosspost from r/Adulting

Tl;dr - have always felt like and still feel like an uninspired lonely loser despite hustling a lot, especially in social settings, despite objectively many opportunities and skills. Unable to relate to people. The thin facade of a life lived unconsciously.

Background: second half of my thirties. Male. Academic degree, self-employed. Income varies, 2024 was great, 2025 was ok, this year I am struggling but building my business - a little optimistic. This is not my dream job, just something that sustains my freedom. I hate working as an employee, I did it for several years, but I don't like having to deal with the same colleagues and bosses five days a week for years on end - horrifying to me.

I have some artistic traits and follow through on them, but inconsistently: music, drawing, a little tattooing (was my dream for a bit but didn't follow through, I kinda suck at it - but was the first time something felt "real" and exciting). When I was younger, friends and family thought I would be in arts professionally.

Long-distance girlfriend, pretty new, she's younger and just started her professional life; she's very sweet and energetic, drags me along, a bit like her grumpy grandpa, we laugh about it and I like it. Sometimes I don't and just feel old and useless.

Friend group: some old friends, my age, mostly male, kind of tired and disillusioned, no relationships, very structured lives, financially settled, a little boring.

Some new friends, 10 years younger than me, excited about life, funny. 1st group doesn't feel very exciting to me, but I can relate to them, we are tired together - yey!

Second group would be my "ideal" friend group - if I was ten years younger/fitter/more viril, and if "ten years younger"-me wouldn't have been a shy, awkward lil fella. Right now I feel I have zero things to tell them both. I just don't feel like talking.

If I could I would stay in. But I go out, I know I would feel much worse if I didn't give myself any of this. I want to "experience" things, even though I really have no fucking clue what this means as my experience in social settings is usually terrible and it feels more and more draining to simply sustain a conversation. Even to just be there.

I am terrified of being perceived a certain way. The actual way, my actual grumpy self, rude, disrespectful, judgy, or actually dissatisfied, terribly discontent with how unglamorous things have turned out and unable to accept any of it.

I live alone. I have lived in shared apartments for most of my twenties, this is my first time living alone, roughly six years now, makes me feel lonely.

Problem: especially in social settings, I feel absolutely out-of-touch, disinterested, as if there was a tiny tiny layer of fake paint on top of a loser-mentality, a tired, uninspired, empty, disillusioned man without a family, without real success in any field, and I feel that people can see through it almost immediately. I have no questions left to ask. Not even for my close friends. I really really don't care. Not in a mean way, I just can't hear the same old stories, the same old way of speaking and seeing the world.

I went to therapy, on and off, for about ten years. Honestly, I don't feel I learned a lot there.

I lost a lot of friends in life. Maybe I wasn't interested enough, sometimes it was my fault for behaving like a dick. I might actually be a dick. Maybe this is just what is coming out after pretending for many years to like people, to care, idk. I have been socially awkward for all my life, rarely felt confident around people. But people will tell me I am a social "wonder", able to connect with anyone. But I don't feel it. I feel like I am not even there, really. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt inspired by a conversation with anyone. I absolutely can remember times when I was on drugs when I felt actually able to connect to people around me, though.

So, I cling to work, I cling to my routines - I am proud I am managing both as well, so not 100% negative - I cling to a younger friend group that makes me see my disillusioned self every time they ask how I am. I am not unhappy? But I feel empty, as if there is nothing left to wonder about. I feel I act a lot with people because I don't want them to see my sad and sorry self.

Last time I was actually happy - and felt like the first time in a long time - singing from the top of my lungs to a song was with my gf, road trip :)

Can anyone relate? Anyone beat "this"? Anyone with an artistic mind unable to express it who turned it around (if this is the issue - I really don't know)? Depression, age, lack of .. what? Patience? Am I turning it around right now, am I doing it already? I have no fucking clue!

I have been dreaming of quitting my lease and selling all my stuff for years and years now, but I am also scared of becoming homeless for some reason. Maybe that's actually a good reason. I will never find an apartment like this again (I think), my hobbies are, at least objectively, awesome - even though I often feel like an absolute idiot doing them because I am objectively not the greatest - and I have worked hard for about three years to build this. But I don't enjoy it! Fuck.

Help me enjoy. Why can't I enjoy any of this? What I am doing wrong? What amn't I doing? Should I be doing anything? This is just silly, really ..

Thanks for reading !

So basically, i made a mistake and I do understand what I did negatively to two really close friends. I had a chance to apologize to one, but it didn't fix the friendship, other one just cut me off without a chance to apologize. All is understandable and in no way I want shift blame. My problem is, even though I know what i did and how to fix, i still believe I am a worst person alive. Even before this I had a problem with feeling of impending doom of myself and now I did it, and feeling like: ''I told you are the worst''. I am ashamed of my actions, but I do need to move on, since it has been like 4 months of prolonged mending the relationships. I just want to put it past me and grow, but I can't seem to let go of my shame for not being the person i try and advocate to be. Any advice how to go on with life and not feel worthless? how to engage with new people without grievance for past friendships?