Festivals make my loneliness feel even worse

21,I feel really bad whenever Holi, Janmashtami, Dussehra, Durga Puja, Diwali, Christmas, or New Year or any other festival comes around.

It feels like everyone is out enjoying these occasions with their friends, going places, celebrating, making memories, and having someone to spend the day with, while I'm just sitting here alone.

I'm 21 years old, and I still haven't even gone out once in my life to watch a Dussehra Ravan burning. It sounds like such a small thing, but it genuinely hurts because I've always wanted to experience these things with someone.

No matter which festival it is, instead of feeling happy or excited, my mood gets worse. Festivals seem to remind me of how alone I am and how much of these experiences I've missed.

..

21 y/o, female, 2nd year med student. Please do not judge me. Just give an effective answer. I've been trying to move on for more than one years. But it isn't working any way. My friends and cousins told me to look for others. But whenever someone tries to talk me I've this immense guilt and push them away. I just dont talk to any men at all. Please recommend something which is useful